JeffreyMcCollum Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Looking for replies of what you do . . . Mother and father live in a small village Own their home free and clear Live a simple life by choice. NO car or motorbike. Have a Rai or two of land and grow and raise many things. Both work spot jobs now and then here and there for extra cash as well as sell some of what they grow They have 3 daughters 1.) Married a retired Westerner that lives 5 hours away. He and his wife live off his pension, retirement and Socail security. He refuses to tell anyone how much he gets, Even his wife. They take care of her son for a prior marrraige. they have several Rai of land and a modest home by choice. They do some farming 2.) Married a Thai man and leave just minutes away. They farm Sugar and in the off season do odd jobs. They have 2 children and also a modest home 3.) Also has a western husband. He is younger and lives as well as works in Thailand. He makes about 18,000 Bt a month. He takes care of her daughter living with them from a prior maraige she had. They rent a average apartment room near his work 4 hours away. of the parents Ma and Pa live a simple live and when asked say they can live on about 4 - 5000 Bt a month How much should each daughters family help provide for them ? How much would your provide for them ? How much do you help with your family here in Thailand ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aneliane Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 So this is a forum where it is assumed that 1/ You are western 2/ You are a male 3/ You have got yourself a thai gf / wife The rest of us can bugger off I presume ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Croc Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 You only make 18,000 a month?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chonburiram Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 So this is a forum where it is assumed that 1/ You are western 2/ You are a male 3/ You have got yourself a thai gf / wife The rest of us can bugger off I presume ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chonburiram Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Hey JMC, It's OK that you would not tell your family how high your pension is.In your case, I would only give something when asked for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM1955 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 30,000 Baht per month, but that also includes the pick up and motorcycle payments that I paid the deposit on, and those payments are nearly complete, House is complete and no rent is paid as I built a new one for them next to the wifes. It will get a little more expensive soon as I will pay for the younger sister to go to University, and I will get her a cheap car so she can come home regular, Jazz or City will do for that, so only 650 - 700,000 We are all very close and I'm more than happy to spread the wealth, I can't take it with me when I die and I have no other dependents or Family to leave my money to, and I certainly don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery. YMMV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffreyMcCollum Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 So this is a forum where it is assumed that 1/ You are western 2/ You are a male 3/ You have got yourself a thai gf / wife The rest of us can bugger off I presume ? I would be happy to hear from anyone Thai married to Thai Man or woman what they do to help their families Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Not sure about the 1,2,3 outlined in your OP, all depends how much mum and dad actually want/need. The section of the family that live minutes away would be more able to provide other assistance, like, lifts to the hospital/town etc. as opposed to money. I think it's all down to the offspring and how they react to the expectation of money being sent (if indeed there is any expectation at all) Anyway, as for my family. Mum lives about 500km away (Dad's no longer with us) and has some of her children close by, also one of her grandchildren lives with her permanently and does most of the day-to-day looking after. My wife sends her about 1,000 baht a month, sometimes 2,000, sometimes nothing at all. There's approximately 10 other siblings so they all chip in when it's needed. For instance, one of the siblings decided it was a great idea to borrow 100,000 baht against mum's house to fund him travelling to Qatar for work. It didn't work out well for him and he was back in a month or so with no money. Everyone is going to chip in to pay this debt back (or mum's house will be lost), I expected that we would be asked for more than the others but we have only been asked for a quarter of the outstanding, with other family members contributing more than us. So, because my wife has a farang husband, there are occasional requests for funds but these are dealt with well by my wife, and some sense of fairness seems to have descended upon our clan. Along with many whispers about my lack of financial integrity no doubt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trembly Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) My Thai aunt got a mortgage and built a row of shops. High sunk cost but it will eventually pay itself off and what's left over of the rent easily keeps Nana in food and baccy. Now no one has a reason to think / ask about sending money. Job jobbed. Edited June 20, 2011 by Trembly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirth Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 For question 1 and 2, howmuch one contributes depends on how comfortable they are in parting their hard earned income. Question 3, i try not to interfere with my in-laws affairs directly but will help out in indiscrete manners. Incidently, why are you making only 18,000 a month or are you the one with the secret pension amount? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Thais have children to look after them when they get old - there is no social security here. So yes, poor parents will expect their children to make sure they're OK. As long as the parents are receiving the same amount as the average local family earns, then they will be OK. You need to find out how much the locals earn and then divide that by the number of children. Incidentally, 18,000 baht would be a VERY good wage for the average Thai. Presumably there are some Western dive guides/instructors that earn this amount? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livinginexile Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 30,000 Baht per month, but that also includes the pick up and motorcycle payments that I paid the deposit on, and those payments are nearly complete, House is complete and no rent is paid as I built a new one for them next to the wifes. It will get a little more expensive soon as I will pay for the younger sister to go to University, and I will get her a cheap car so she can come home regular, Jazz or City will do for that, so only 650 - 700,000 We are all very close and I'm more than happy to spread the wealth, I can't take it with me when I die and I have no other dependents or Family to leave my money to, and I certainly don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery. YMMV. GM1955 1955 date of birth right? Your only 56 and you're talking about death & cemeteries already? Tad fatalistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) 30,000 Baht per month, but that also includes the pick up and motorcycle payments that I paid the deposit on, and those payments are nearly complete, House is complete and no rent is paid as I built a new one for them next to the wifes. It will get a little more expensive soon as I will pay for the younger sister to go to University, and I will get her a cheap car so she can come home regular, Jazz or City will do for that, so only 650 - 700,000 We are all very close and I'm more than happy to spread the wealth, I can't take it with me when I die and I have no other dependents or Family to leave my money to, and I certainly don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery. YMMV. GM1955 1955 date of birth right? Your only 56 and you're talking about death & cemeteries already? Tad fatalistic. Some of us have family backgrounds that make us realise we will die relatively young.... Edit - Its not necessarily bad though. As a friend pointed out when I hit 50, its a great reason to only meet with people I like - I may die soon, why on earth would I put up with people I don't much like?? Edited June 21, 2011 by F1fanatic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indonews Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 How much should each daughters family help provide for them ?How much would your provide for them ? How much do you help with your family here in Thailand ? why they cannot work? have problem at fingers or hands? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMills Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 why on earth would I put up with people I don't much like?? Except on internet forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 why on earth would I put up with people I don't much like?? Except on internet forums. Quite - its a great 'release valve' for all those negative emotions - which allows me to carry on smiling during the day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdinasia Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 So this is a forum where it is assumed that 1/ You are western 2/ You are a male 3/ You have got yourself a thai gf / wife The rest of us can bugger off I presume ? I would be happy to hear from anyone Thai married to Thai Man or woman what they do to help their families Your questions --- Assuming all the kids were Thai and married to Thais --- I would say 1666 Baht/mo --- in the cases where it wouldn't dent the family income/resources too much then I would suggest 5k/mo (We are after all, discussing parents! You know, those people that brought you into the world and nurtured you and provided for you! I would cover the wife's expenses to the tune of an extra 5k a month and let her send HER 5k to them I don't contribute to my partner's family. He is Thai and makes FAR in excess of 18k a month. He bought a condo with cash when he was 23 and a new Jazz with cash when he was 27. If I needed money I'd be knocking on my m-i-l's door as my Thai in-laws have more than I do in monthly incomes ((and I am not a teacher or a reporter --- so you know what the minimum I can be paid is ... ((I do a tish better than that)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 So this is a forum where it is assumed that 1/ You are western 2/ You are a male 3/ You have got yourself a thai gf / wife The rest of us can bugger off I presume ? I would be happy to hear from anyone Thai married to Thai Man or woman what they do to help their families Your questions --- Assuming all the kids were Thai and married to Thais --- I would say 1666 Baht/mo --- in the cases where it wouldn't dent the family income/resources too much then I would suggest 5k/mo (We are after all, discussing parents! You know, those people that brought you into the world and nurtured you and provided for you! I would cover the wife's expenses to the tune of an extra 5k a month and let her send HER 5k to them I don't contribute to my partner's family. He is Thai and makes FAR in excess of 18k a month. He bought a condo with cash when he was 23 and a new Jazz with cash when he was 27. If I needed money I'd be knocking on my m-i-l's door as my Thai in-laws have more than I do in monthly incomes ((and I am not a teacher or a reporter --- so you know what the minimum I can be paid is ... ((I do a tish better than that)) And this was with money he earned himself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMA_FARANG Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) O.K. I'll bite. I retired last year,and am now living in Bangkok. I have a Thai wife who has three grown children, 2 males and 1 female by her previous marriage. The daughter is married and there is a 17 year old grand daughter from that marriage. All the children work and contribute to the family income (except for the grand daughter who is still in school) I provide about 45K baht a month from my retirement pension for the family expenses. The two grown males and the daughter and her husband provide much of their own expenses and about half of the grand daughter's expenses. From that approx 45K baht monthly I provide for my wife and I, and the other half of the grand daughter's monthy expenses. I bought a rundown Thai house here in Bangkok in my wife's name a few years ago, and had it renovated to a close to western standard. That's where we all live now. Buying the house and getting it converted to my standards cost about $70K. I have air-conditioning, cable T.V., internet access, and a western style kitchen/laundry,showers & toilets. Other than what I described above, I give nothing to my wife's extended family. (i.e. her brother's and sisters.) I do however provide occasional help for my wife's mother (her nother is in her 80's now, and in a wheelchair). All her Thai family helps her out with some money if she needs it. Edited June 21, 2011 by IMA_FARANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocturn Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 So this is a forum where it is assumed that 1/ You are western 2/ You are a male 3/ You have got yourself a thai gf / wife The rest of us can bugger off I presume ? I certainly wouldn't mind if you did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deserted Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 What's that expression about a fool and his money again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdinasia Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 And this was with money he earned himself? It wasn't my money, nor any other foreigner's money and there was never a mortgage or a car payment. It was his family's money (gift) and his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atmos Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Partner only has her mother and an older sister/family living in houses on the original family farm property, no need for $ support, but most months what i call a 'red cross package' is sent, this month there have been two, one had some silk scarves and small gifts we bought in Phnom Penh, then last week a 6kg box of fresh fruit plus some sweets for nephew/nieces. Yes, let's not talk about the economies of sending fruit 200km overnight (110 baht) but it's a nice gesture, well-received, and 'it's the thought that counts' When we were there in March bought a roll of weed mat and 3 cu m of stones to give a better walking access to the house and along one side when wet season arrives, about 2000b all-up and a few hours work, things like that have been appreciated, as was the work I did section tidying and garden replanting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noncommercial Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Never seen the attraction of marrying someone who has already been divorced & has kids as they are just looking for a meal ticket. Second hand isn't always cheapest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livinginexile Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 30,000 Baht per month, but that also includes the pick up and motorcycle payments that I paid the deposit on, and those payments are nearly complete, House is complete and no rent is paid as I built a new one for them next to the wifes. It will get a little more expensive soon as I will pay for the younger sister to go to University, and I will get her a cheap car so she can come home regular, Jazz or City will do for that, so only 650 - 700,000 We are all very close and I'm more than happy to spread the wealth, I can't take it with me when I die and I have no other dependents or Family to leave my money to, and I certainly don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery. YMMV. Love is more expensive than you thought huh? I supose being a 56 year old reject you have no choice but to pay. Pathetic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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