Dowry Payment ?

[frenchFARANGbkk]

Dowry payment ? Are you going to pay it?

I don't know if somebody posted this before, so let's try.

[Nam Kao]

My next thai wife will be from an orphanage

[Mig15]

Paid one, won’t pay another.

[Pink Mist]

can you put more options? like didn't have to pay and possibly a couple of reasons, second marriage, parents didnt want it etc.

[andy50]

or parents dead

[Adjan]

If really in love, everything is possible, stupid things first !!!

[maerim]

Perhaps the intended bride could be persuaded to put the said money in an escrow account to help pay for the divorce?

[Khutan]

Ok, I paid it, but it was only for show. We discussed what I was going to pay and how much "Come Back"

So apart from a bit for some expenses such as buying that delicious pig's head and some other bits and pieces it all came back.

They were also happy to get 1000 bt notes from a photo-copier .

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Someone else suggested writing a million baht check on your home bank check book. Looks good...means nothing...their face and your money is saved

[frenchFARANGbkk]

can you put more options? like didn't have to pay and possibly a couple of reasons, second marriage, parents didnt want it etc.

Hi! I tried to add the options you proposed, but seems impossible, or maybe it is a webmaster's option? In that case, thank you....

[hansnl43]

I didn't want to pay at first, but after I saw her parents, I agreed. Nice People. I paid 200,000 baht.

I guess most of these problems with Isarn girls. Has anybody else an opinion about it?

[32x]

Yes i will pay.

[chanchao]

Hm, I voted 'no way' however I don't fully agree with the rest of that premise, namely that saying 'no' means moving on to another girl...

So no I don't pay but yes I will marry somewhere this year.

This because paying dowry, or 'byuing a wife' to put it bluntly is politically incorrect to the extreme in my culture. Needless to say I will try to take care of my in-laws any way I can, but there will be no parading of money or gold. If she wants that then she should marry a Thai or a gullible foreigner.

Also I would like to add that I see many foreigners in Thailand who pay very high amounts of money for a girl who's been married before and perhaps even already has kids!!!!!!!! That's just ludicrous. Like cashing in twice for second hand goods?

People, the 'sod' in sin sod means 'fresh'. When freshness is no longer guaranteed and goods are past their sell-by date or have been pre-owned or pre-used or whatever you want to call it than any money whatsoever is completely out of the question. In fact they should be thankful for any man accepting existing children and raising them as their own. If such graditude seems absent then I would suggest to move on.

(And don't even think of getting me started on paying dowry for a girl who's worked in the physical entertainment services field.....)

Cheers,

Chanchao

[otherstuff1957]

I asked my fiance about it and she told me that both of her brothers in law (one Thai & one Farang) paid, but were given an equal amount back as a wedding gift. When I asked her about our wedding, she said that we don't even have to do that! Her father is dead and her mother said something like "as long as you are happy...". I suspect the the conversation with her mother may have gone like this: "Mom, I am a single mother and over 30 - don't screw things up by asking for a bride-price!".

[frenchFARANGbkk]

Hey, something we didn't speak about:

Shouldn't the girl be VIRGIN to be worth a dowry?!

What a scam! Hard to find one it seems...

Remember: don't pay for second hand ladys !!!!

[pnustedt]

My stepdaughter is staying with my Thai wife and I at the moment with her HK Chinese boyfriend/fiance. The conversation got round to weddings, etc. and I raised the subject of the dowry . . . after an embarrassed silence where the b/f's face dropped there was a lot of laughter. Looks like they're not considering paying me a dowry! In fact I get the feeling that I'm paying for the wedding!

I'm so concerned that I could lose face - should I go along with the wedding or hold out for a dowry?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

My stepdaughter is staying with my Thai wife and I at the moment with her HK Chinese boyfriend/fiance. The conversation got round to weddings, etc. and I raised the subject of the dowry . . . after an embarrassed silence where the b/f's face dropped there was a lot of laughter. Looks like they're not considering paying me a dowry! In fact I get the feeling that I'm paying for the wedding!

I'm so concerned that I could lose face - should I go along with the wedding or hold out for a dowry?

See how far you can push him....the sick buffalo and the leaking roof for a start

[Boon Mee]

There's a lovely expression in Thai that goes "Farang Kee Nook". Which translates literally - A Bird Shit Farang.

Point being made is it's always customary to give the prospective wife's family something. What & how much depends on whether she's been married before, her social position and education.

If you don't, you get called a Farang Kee Nook! Which is much more severe than the common "Cheap Charlie"

[meemiathai]

My stepdaughter is staying with my Thai wife and I at the moment with her HK Chinese boyfriend/fiance. The conversation got round to weddings, etc. and I raised the subject of the dowry . . . after an embarrassed silence where the b/f's face dropped there was a lot of laughter. Looks like they're not considering paying me a dowry! In fact I get the feeling that I'm paying for the wedding!

I'm so concerned that I could lose face - should I go along with the wedding or hold out for a dowry?

I think he is quite a special HK Chinese! After living 35 yrs here in HK, I hardly know any married guy who hasn't paid a dowry!

Well I think perhaps the most important thing is how your stepdaughter thinks.

[pnustedt]

I think he is quite a special HK Chinese! After living 35 yrs here in HK, I hardly know any married guy who hasn't paid a dowry!

So it really does look like I'm going to be a beneficiary then! Great idea this dowry thing - every groom should be encouraged to contribute the maximum.

Oh and by the way, please ignore one of the "no way" votes!

[meemiathai]

Oh! I forgot to mention that the bride's family has to give something back in return! Well, don't know much detail.

So don't be too happy too soon!

[translator]

no comment.....you would'nt leave it on if i did. It was worth the null vote.

They want the pussy but not the culture.

[chanchao]

> There's a lovely expression in Thai that goes "Farang Kee Nook".

> which translates literally - A Bird Shit Farang.

Well actually Farang Kee Nok is a different species of guava, much smaller and generally less fruity and delicious compared to regular guava. So when translating it's not directly about birds or shit but the comparison has more to do with a foreigner who's not a good catch.. not much juice can be milked from him so to say.

Come to think of it, I should bring some khee nok guava along for a laugh..

> Point being made is it's always customary to give the

> prospective wife's family something.

Does "A future" count?

> What & how much depends on whether she's been married

> before, her social position and education.

Yup.. Though at least as much depends more on the wealth and gullability of the husband.. Paying in the area of 100K for an upcountry bargirl is just rediculous and wouldn't really gain me any face; it would just make me look stupid and is an open invitation for more milking attempts.

> If you don't, you get called a Farang Kee Nook! Which is much more

> severe than the common "Cheap Charlie"

I hate those bar-english expressions.. They've been around forever, I think I've given up hope that they'll go away eventually.

Cheers,

Chanchao

[ray23]

Paid it once, 40 K 33 year old never married virgin. Interestingly enough started a new tradition the devoirce dowry, that went up to a 100 K, five months together, no kids, that one didn't get paid.

Would I do it again. I don't know depends on the circumstances.

Present girl friend of seven months, non bar girl, never married, no children, parents deceased. A uncle and a brother showed up. who do all right in life. They didn't seem to worried about her, when she was a housekeeper for 1500 a month and owned one change of clothes. So I suggested that they get a better job and stay out of our financial lives. Haven't heard anyhting else.

[KevinN]

I really think that dowry payments to the girl's family is a raw deal.

Here you are taking a burden off of the family,as you will support her and feed her,so they should pay you,like they used to do in some places,the girl had to bring her dowry.

But it should all depend on what you want with her in the first place and how you will treat her,If you will be the ideal true blue husband,then there is no need for you to pay,but if you only want her for housework and an ocassional lay,while you run the bars and screw anything you can get, then maybe you should pay,as then you have bought her and there is not a ###### thing she has a right to say about what you do.Kinda like buying a car or buffalo,after the money is payed,then it is yours to do with as you wish.and if she does bitch,then you should be able to get a full refund on the purchase price as you recieved faulty mdse.

[Mr Helper]

Ahhh the old dowry thread..............

Well for anyone thinking of paying one just remember this. There is the sin-sod payment, and then the party. OK I have been told from many Thai friends of mine, that the husband ONLY pays the dowry, NOT the party. If they want to invite 100+ppl to the party/reception then its them who has to pay for that, and not you. If you are being told its you who must pay for the party, then you are being scammed by your future wife already.

Sin sod's, yes you MUST pay a sin-sod if you marry a Thai. But the price is VERY negotiable, and whatever you get asked to pay, then offer them just half. As Thais tend to charge foreigners double price for the sin sod. Price varys depending on the girl, and status of family, which leads us to bar girls/hookers. Get one thing straight here, and know that 'NO' Thai man would ever pay a sin sod to an ex bar girl, or hooker. No matter how beautiful they were, Thai men just would never pay it. They would lose serious, and I mean serious face if they did. Also sin sod is ONLY paid to a family ONCE. If the girl has been married before, then NO sin sod is required, so if they are asking this, then you again are being scammed.

A girl who has kid/kids, but didn't marry, well the sin sod to that girl would be dramatically reduced, by about 75%.

[eddie g]

"A Friend" of mine paid most of his life savings, (nearly two million baht) and he now tells me that she hasnt got a clitoris.

She says that she was just born special (yeah very ######in special) and i am quietly screaming KATOEY!!! to my mate, although you cant tell to look at her/him as she's a stunner.

A poll please on who thinks he paid too much.

[Koh_Falang]

when in rome.....

I think its good to make atleast some effort to pay something... spesh if ur gonna get it back in a wedding gift...

There was a newspaper article in Australia where it suggested that the average Australian wedding costs around $25000 AUD.

Now correct me if im wrong but i dont think the Thai expect you to spend that much on a wedding and a dowry put together.......

compare the 2... marry a fat white chick and get into a couple of years debt over it or marry a slim Thai and loose a couple of months savings over it....... I know which one i want

[Jimbo]

Well when I married my wife it was briefly discussed but she also agreed that we were better of using the money on a nice honeymon or something.

If the parents actually raised their childen (not abnodon them or see them once every few years), give them a good education etc then one could imagine paying something but often this isnt the case.

I am sure that if I had paid a dowry then this would not mean the end of them ever asking money. Have had friends how paid a dowry and still the buffolo is sick

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Well when I married my wife it was briefly discussed but she also agreed that we were better of using the money on a nice honeymon or something.

If the parents actually raised their childen (not abnodon them or see them once every few years), give them a good education etc then one could imagine paying something but often this isnt the case.

I am sure that if I had paid a dowry then this would not mean the end of them ever asking money. Have had friends how paid a dowry and still the buffolo is sick

The Kwai will always be sick....the family grew their own ATM...YOU