Visiting A Thai Family - What To Bring?

[jojo90]

So I'm visiting a Thai family for the second time in March. The family are from Buri Ram province.

I'm curious if anyone has suggestions as what gift to bring? I understand this is usually customary! The family are the grandparents of my girlfriend (she was raised by them rather than her biological parents).

I've asked her for guidance but in typical Thai style its 'up to me' .

[pattayadingo]

Buriram? Home of Thai witches..... A broomstick?

Take the usual basket of fruit. That often works well. Whatever you take do not go OTT.

[irlguy1]

Can only advice you about my own girls Tips.Flowers are a no go as anything that dies is considered wasteful. No perfume or aftershave.

Chocolate as long as its good quality preferably from your home not there local stuff as it's nasty. No religious gifts and for sure no joke buddha's

To sum up..... Cash or gold

Although I brought her mom an Irish snowglobe and a wishing stone carved from an Irish mountain and she hugged me and still uses it 4 months later and my gf loved her reaction.

Not met her dad yet.

Up to you 555

[tinfoilhat]

what a leading question. you already know what response you will get from the embittered.

nobody has ever said no to a 50 inch led tv.

realistically, thais visiting home bring delicacies unavailable or prohibitively expensive locally.

no gift of jewelery in "foreign" gold, only the garish thai stuff will do.

you havent said where you are coming from, nor have you given any indicator of their finacial condition, so a genuine suggestion is impossible.

[jojo90]

From England. They aren't rich by any means but average by local standards.

I was thinking a bottle of decent whiskey for her Grandad and potentially some Thai gold for her Grandma. Nothing over the top but I do know my girlfriend has been saving up to buy her something, so we could work that out together.

As for embittered responses I was expecting the usual responses but figured there might be some sensible ones in there too (as thankfully the ones so far are!!)

Edited February 22, 2012 by jojo90

[mstribling]

Get them the traditional Thai gift. A basket of bird nest drink. Brands.

Thais often will bring a regional snack. We live in Chanthaburi. We always bring mangosteen. If your from England you could probably just bring some smokes.

[GooEng]

my first wife's parents were a delightful couple who lived in Roi Et province.

Poor, but proud and hard working and never expressed any interest getting anything from me.

i did however buy her mother a bag of beetlenut which she loved to chew and her father a bag of nice tobacco on my second visit and they were delighted.

so, buy them something you know they like.

[vtjforyou]

Only thing they like there: money

[jombom]

Money and food is welcome. You could give the money to GF, and ask her to buy something for her family. Can be interesting.

[pattayadingo]

Oddly enough I bought some After Eights today for the g/f mother.

A friend of mine often buys a big jar of sweets / chocolates. A jar of Roses chocs as you are in the U.K. They seem to go down very well.

Have you got a Wilkinsons near you? They are doing reduced perfume at the moment. CK and the likes.

If they talk a lot you could also buy a jar of gobstoppers. Think of all that peace and quiet

[irlguy1]

Oddly enough I bought some After Eights today for the g/f mother.

A friend of mine often buys a big jar of sweets / chocolates. A jar of Roses chocs as you are in the U.K. They seem to go down very well.

Have you got a Wilkinsons near you? They are doing reduced perfume at the moment. CK and the likes.

If they talk a lot you could also buy a jar of gobstoppers. Think of all that peace and quiet

Perfume is not a good idea mate

[necronx99]

Cakes, biscuits, maybe jams etc.

If Grandpa drinks a bottle. Nothing too high end as he wont appreciate it most likely, a bottle of Black would impress him more than

a bottle of Highland Park.

Leave any financial or expensive gifts to your partner.

[NanLaew]

Gifts for grandparents? Customary? Since when?

...or have I missed something?

Whenever we return after a vacation away from home, we usually bring back some foodstuffs from the holiday locale. Fruit is always acceptable... good time at the moment for really sweet mangoes.

Don't waste your money on alcohol and gold would be OTT IMHO.

[NaMah]

Gifts for grandparents? Customary? Since when?

...or have I missed something?

Whenever we return after a vacation away from home, we usually bring back some foodstuffs from the holiday locale. Fruit is always acceptable... good time at the moment for really sweet mangoes.

Don't waste your money on alcohol and gold would be OTT IMHO.

He mentioned that his wife was raised by her grandparents. The biological parents are not in the picture.

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[patroller]

Take some empty sacks so you can fill them with rice.

[Soutpeel]

Take some empty sacks so you can fill them with rice.

Or use them as sand bags next time there is a flood

[Soutpeel]

After reading some of these posts it occurs to me the old colonial's must have the same dilemma when meeting the natives for the first time

[elwood]

Only thing they like there: money

This topic was guaranteed to get a dumb-arsed bitter comment like this.

To the OP, when we were living abroad, whenever we visited we took things such as a bottle of whiskey (Jamesons, because they liked to share it with me!), and food from abroad such as chocolates and other stuff that they liked but couldn't obtain here, or couldn't afford - nothing expensive at all. And one time we brought cardigans from Scotland, well appreciated when the weather turned cold!

And when we visited from other provinces we would bring them local fruit and spices.

No need to go overboard mate, for sure they will appreciate such things.

Elwood

Elwood

[chris2004]

MONEY

[Ricardo]

Cakes, biscuits, maybe jams etc.

If Grandpa drinks a bottle. Nothing too high end as he wont appreciate it most likely, a bottle of Black would impress him more than

a bottle of Highland Park.

Leave any financial or expensive gifts to your partner.

Quite right about the whisky, I almost cried when my future FiL & BiLs tried the 12-year-old Macallan's neat, as I showed them, but then all added soda-water or Coke to it ! Blasphemy !

A bottle of JW-Black would send the right message, of respect (not Cheap Charlie), to most Thais. The bottle may well become a family-heirloom, especially if it comes in a nice box, or tin !

Cheers !

Edited February 23, 2012 by Ricardo

[bangkokburning]

Gifts might not be customary for the olds but very customary for visiting in Asia. It could be as little as a basket of fruit cobbled together with some Thai sweets.

To take it to another level -

The crew has it right, a bottle of Black (save the good stuff fer ya'sef). Will be mixed and will not be appreciated. 200gms dark chocolate, some "cold weather" fruit (stone fruit and apples). Yeah - don't go overboard for many reasons. If children are in the house and you can somehow swing it - Swensens would be a great treat!

Money is a horrible gift for people you don't know save for a wedding.

Edited February 23, 2012 by bangkokburning

[wolf5370]

From England. They aren't rich by any means but average by local standards.

I was thinking a bottle of decent whiskey for her Grandad and potentially some Thai gold for her Grandma. Nothing over the top but I do know my girlfriend has been saving up to buy her something, so we could work that out together.

As for embittered responses I was expecting the usual responses but figured there might be some sensible ones in there too (as thankfully the ones so far are!!)

Wouldn't bother with the whisky, did that once for my FIL he was not too impressed (has no idea as to quality/prices etc, just considers it foreign Sang Song). If kids are there I used to bring cholcoate or crisps (wotsits went down well as did Monster Munch), before I moved here perminantly. For old folks I tend to bring something novel that they can put on a shelf - something that looks possibly expensive but doesn't have to be (i.e. the snow globe some one mentioned above, not a platic elf or funny knicknack - they just don't get it and think it's cheap) - and some fruit from town. I also take them for a meal and sometimes fix or replkace something that desparately needs it while I'm there - more practical and not too expensive. I never give cash (although I have paid bills in the past - via the Mrs and on the quiet, but noticed) and jewlery is for my wife and kids, not in laws.

In short, for kids=sweet and yummy; for older, something that is not too tacky, looks like it is an important "something" from foreign lands and interesting to show neighbours when you are gone.

Edited February 23, 2012 by wolf5370

[althemighty]

For the grandmother of my fiance I first gave a basket of birnest beverages. She was happy that she also got to keep the basket After talking to her the perfect gift was gold and suggested golden hoop earings.

[tinfoilhat]

Cakes, biscuits, maybe jams etc.

If Grandpa drinks a bottle. Nothing too high end as he wont appreciate it most likely, a bottle of Black would impress him more than

a bottle of Highland Park.

Leave any financial or expensive gifts to your partner.

Quite right about the whisky, I almost cried when my future FiL & BiLs tried the 12-year-old Macallan's neat, as I showed them, but then all added soda-water or Coke to it ! Blasphemy !

A bottle of JW-Black would send the right message, of respect (not Cheap Charlie), to most Thais. The bottle may well become a family-heirloom, especially if it comes in a nice box, or tin !

Cheers !

giving someone a gift of fine whisky is all well and good. telling them how to drink it, pretentious.

Edited February 23, 2012 by tinfoilhat

[Pseudolus]

I would agree with most - nothing says "nice to see you again rural folks" like a basket of gold bars.

Anything too cheap you will be a cheap charlie. Anything too flash and they will think you are a mug and move in for the kill (see thread about Mr Bernd from Germany).

Twofold gift I reckon. Something nice a cheerful like tobacco / fruit / whiskey and back that up with a little trinket for granny (98% gold trinket) and something for gramps along a similar vein.

Oh and for best effect, don't tell your girl about the flash gifts, let her be surprised by them as well as the old dudes.

Edited February 23, 2012 by AdamBanks

[rgs2001uk]

Cakes, biscuits, maybe jams etc.

If Grandpa drinks a bottle. Nothing too high end as he wont appreciate it most likely, a bottle of Black would impress him more than

a bottle of Highland Park.

Leave any financial or expensive gifts to your partner.

Quite right about the whisky, I almost cried when my future FiL & BiLs tried the 12-year-old Macallan's neat, as I showed them, but then all added soda-water or Coke to it ! Blasphemy !

A bottle of JW-Black would send the right message, of respect (not Cheap Charlie), to most Thais. The bottle may well become a family-heirloom, especially if it comes in a nice box, or tin !

Cheers !

giving someone a gift of fine whisky is all well and good. telling them how to drink it, pretentious.

There is a saying in Thai,

See Sor Hai Kwai Fang,

It translates as, pearls before swine.

Been there done that get a botlle of, see sip or seua dam, its all the same to them.

Anyway back to the OP, any girls that tells me, "taam jai", shows a lack or respect to you.

I take it you dont speak read or write Thai, this girl is you eyes and ears, she should be guiding you in Thai protocol, you are a bit like , Tommy, " the deaf dumb and blind kid".

I would be considering the answer she gave you, the complete indifference to you speaks volumes.

[pattayadingo]

Oddly enough I bought some After Eights today for the g/f mother.

A friend of mine often buys a big jar of sweets / chocolates. A jar of Roses chocs as you are in the U.K. They seem to go down very well.

Have you got a Wilkinsons near you? They are doing reduced perfume at the moment. CK and the likes.

If they talk a lot you could also buy a jar of gobstoppers. Think of all that peace and quiet

Perfume is not a good idea mate

60+ year old mother of my longest relationship here was absolutely delighted to receive perfume. A perfume designed for a more mature person. And there was some jealousy about when I handed it over.

[arthurwait]

No one has said an ever so tasteful Harrods bag yet ?

[Greenside]

From England. They aren't rich by any means but average by local standards.

I was thinking a bottle of decent whiskey for her Grandad and potentially some Thai gold for her Grandma. Nothing over the top but I do know my girlfriend has been saving up to buy her something, so we could work that out together.

As for embittered responses I was expecting the usual responses but figured there might be some sensible ones in there too (as thankfully the ones so far are!!)

I wouldn't go with the whiskey. I once made the mistake of thinking my wife's brother would appreciate a bottle of Black Label (OK, not so fabulous by international standards I grant you but 1000 baht nevertheless) as opposed to the bottle of Sangsom she said would be OK. I then had to sit back and watch him and a couple of already inebriated farmhands dilute it with liberal quantities of Big Cola and down the lot in about an hour and a half.

Bad for the blood pressure (mine, that is).

[mstribling]

From England. They aren't rich by any means but average by local standards.

I was thinking a bottle of decent whiskey for her Grandad and potentially some Thai gold for her Grandma. Nothing over the top but I do know my girlfriend has been saving up to buy her something, so we could work that out together.

As for embittered responses I was expecting the usual responses but figured there might be some sensible ones in there too (as thankfully the ones so far are!!)

I wouldn't go with the whiskey. I once made the mistake of thinking my wife's brother would appreciate a bottle of Black Label (OK, not so fabulous by international standards I grant you but 1000 baht nevertheless) as opposed to the bottle of Sangsom she said would be OK. I then had to sit back and watch him and a couple of already inebriated farmhands dilute it with liberal quantities of Big Cola and down the lot in about an hour and a half.

Bad for the blood pressure (mine, that is).

So you gave someone a gift, and you were disappointed in what they did with it?

Who says you can't find classy anymore?