Thailand's Prostitutes: Caught Between Passion And Compassion

[tragickingdom]

Better make the world press this way, than with the hidden sleazy prostitution that is going on from the US to the UK. The Westis particularly good in judging but in the meantime the USA is the biggest market for child prostitution in the world and it is all happening on US soil. Don't tell the West though that they are hypocrites as they will do anything in their power to put the blame on others.

[londoedan]

And the same can be said for the UK,the number of young single often teen mothers is baffling,but it's fine for them as they get a council flat and weekly cash handouts,it sadly gives many the attitude that they don't need to work,I wonder how things would be back home if the state never kept all these people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah - lets bring back the poorhouse and send the kids to work as chimney-sweeps - that do you ?

[rijit]

I'm on true and in Bangkok All i'm getting for the 'read more and the link' is 'The server at w3.mict.go.th is taking too long to respond'. Blocked i

presume!!!!, As its availible to some and not others could it be 'cut and pasted'?

[justinnsamui]

What a pile of s**t

[jimmybkk]

I'm on true and in Bangkok All i'm getting for the 'read more and the link' is 'The server at w3.mict.go.th is taking too long to respond'. Blocked i

presume!!!!, As its availible to some and not others could it be 'cut and pasted'?

I found myself coming up against that MICT page a lot a couple of weeks ago. I ran my CCleaner (can download from Piriform if you don't have it already) to clean out all the cr*p on my pc (history, temp files, cache etc.) and the same sites I was blocked from 10 mins previous I could access again.

[Jayman]

Regarding the link:

"Google Chrome could not load the webpage because w3_mict_go_th took too long to respond."

CAT

O/T but interesting - looks like CAT's Intl gateway is diverting to MICT and TOT's is not (for this link). There are 7 Intl gateways from Thailand. CAT, TOT, True, TT&T, ADC, CSL and SBN.

Cheers

EDIT: 3BB uses TT&T, TMN =True?

Works just fine for me on True ADSL here in Patts

[Unkomoncents]

The women of Pattaya’s Walking Street may end up as nuns

The Thai government may be trying to cast away its image as a destination for sex tourism but the Walking Street of Pattaya is blissfully unaware of this. It continues to attract girls from all over Thailand, who use their bodily endowments to make their fortunes.

Pattaya, a gamey city south of Bangkok, recently made the world press again when photos were flashed around the world showing three suspected Iranian bombers cavorting with prostitutes in the resort city. They later managed to blow up their rented house in Bangkok and one of the three blew off his own legs trying to throw explosives at police. All are in custody, one in Malaysia.

As the sun sets and the neon lights come on on Walking Street, out of the numerous massage parlors and all along the lanes nearby emerge highly made up women. The offers come for foot massage, body massage, Thai massage and greater promises of love all night or 'massage by beautiful lady'! Some of the parlors say they offer only massage. Others do not say anything. A signboard at the entrance to Walking Street says more. It reads: 'Passion of Wonderful Night'.

There are young girls sitting outside the shops and interestingly many shops have uniforms for them. Some uniforms are more exotic than trousers and shirt; they are sarongs and colorful ethnic tops. Most of the girls are in their 20s. For miles on either sides of Walking Street, stalls are set up for shopping, street carts serving exotic and authentic Thai food are doing great business and it seems like Pattaya is fully awake as the night wears on.

Says a businessman and sports enthusiast living in Bangkok, "These girls do not all belong to Pattaya. Many are young divorcees who come in from the north and north-eastern parts of Thailand due to poor living conditions. They work for about 10 years and then go back to their village. Often they get married again and this time more happily because they are rich."

Their monetary independence makes them more attractive, according to the businessman, who add that "there is not much stigma attached to their profession." And yet, in the same breath, he adds, "We come from Chiang Mai, which is very conservative and would not let our girls into such a profession."

As though to reinforce his contention, Julia -- her western name, which she uses for the ease of her customers - says, "I worked in Walking Street when I was young. The number of years you can work there is short... the luckiest work for about 10 to 13 years. I have now taken to this." Julia looks down at her cart where she has a variety of fruits stacked. She cuts them for you, individually or as a fruit salad.

"No life is good life, it just depends on what you make of it," she says in her broken English. Her husband left her two years after her second child was born. "In Thailand, women do no fear being alone, we know that is the reality. I think my husband had married me for the money I had," Julia observes stoically.

Is there a link between this stoicism and the relatively recent emergence of a class of women, locally known as Mae chiis, or "lay nuns"? 'Mae' means mother in Thai and 'chii' means renunciant. Not part of the Buddhist Mahasangha, which is exclusively for monks, these nuns shave their heads and eyebrows, don white robes and take eight vows, including that of celibacy, with their heart set on nirvana. Until about 20 years ago, they were treated as social rejects. Today, though, the Mae chiis have large followings. While it is rare to view a monk as a misfit in society, a woman who becomes a Mae chii did not get immediate respect.

The irony is that these women, who seek out a life of austerity and penance, are not initiated into the Sangha. This is because of a strong belief in Theravada Buddhism that women, if ordained, will be a source of distraction for the monks – so the further away you keep them, the safer is the life of a monk and his possibilities of attaining nirvana.

Punvadee Amornmaneekul emphatically refutes this. Punvadee is Secretary to Mae Chee Sansanee Sthirasuta, founder of Sathira-Dhammasathan and Savika-Sikkhalaya, Buddhist University, as well as Co-Chair of Global Peace Initiative of Women. She says, "No, that is not true. I don't know who said that but we have never heard monks say that to us. Most of the monks who follows the Buddha’s teachings will know the Buddha always said any human has the potential to get to nirvana... that means all ages and all genders can attain nirvana."

But Punvadee admits, "We don't get any support from the government although we do co-operate and network with them. While the monks are managed by the Mahasangha, a national board of elder presiding monks, the nuns are independent. The government supports the Mahasangha, so the monks get facilities from the government."

Standing in no man's land, as it were, when Punvadee says the nuns do not get any facility from the government like the monks do, she means they miss out on free education, free medical care, subsidy for travel, and so on. However, a Mae chii is denied her right to vote for she is considered a cleric for that purpose. Moreover, they are also not allowed to stay within the precincts of a Buddhist temple for they could be a threat to the monks' vow of celibacy.

The concept of Mae chiis is very ancient and until recently there was no organizational structure for them. But today, with the society responding to their compassionate activities, their own organizations have grown and they initiate and mentor younger aspirants.

"The girls and women who wish to ‘take robes’ and practice the monastic life have to apply. They are carefully screened for intention, and we invite respected or senior monks to ordain our nuns," says Punvadee, adding, "Ven. Mae Chee Sansanee was once a top fashion model who walked the runways in Thailand. But this way of life became hollow and uninteresting to her, despite the fame and wealth it brought her. She has a special interest in providing shelter to unwed and abandoned mothers, because Ven. Mae Chee's own mother was a single woman, who raised her lovingly." Embodying the true spirit of Buddhism, these nuns, give to the society, asking nothing for themselves.

In 2003, the government toyed with the idea of legalizing prostitution and the law punishes an offender only if he "shamelessly and openly" solicits a prostitute. Thai society also cites the tradition that it is the foremost duty of a daughter to look after her parents, by whatever means it may be. However, the uncomplaining renunciant is only being understood by her compassion and not by the administration in the pleasure-seeking society. Caught between the masculine grip of passion and the fear of its arousal, this is the story of the women of Thailand.

(© Women's Feature Service)

Edited March 2, 2012 by Unkomoncents

[robia6]

I'm on true and in Bangkok All i'm getting for the 'read more and the link' is 'The server at w3.mict.go.th is taking too long to respond'. Blocked i

presume!!!!, As its availible to some and not others could it be 'cut and pasted'?

It's not the best article in the world anyway so wouldn't worry about it.

[Jayman]

I'm on true and in Bangkok All i'm getting for the 'read more and the link' is 'The server at w3.mict.go.th is taking too long to respond'. Blocked i

presume!!!!, As its availible to some and not others could it be 'cut and pasted'?

Not sure if this is breaking the rules.. but here goes...

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0BxS4UvnfgGIMall1Mi01UDBSSGVsM1VET3JSdzFNZw

Print - Asia Sentinel - Thailand's Prostitutes_ Caught Between Passion And Compassion.pdf

Edited March 2, 2012 by Jayman

[Orac]

I'm on true and in Bangkok All i'm getting for the 'read more and the link' is 'The server at w3.mict.go.th is taking too long to respond'. Blocked i

presume!!!!, As its availible to some and not others could it be 'cut and pasted'?

Not sure if this is breaking the rules.. but here goes...

https://docs.google....sM1VET3JSdzFNZw

Print - Asia Sentinel - Thailand's Prostitutes_ Caught Between Passion And Compassion.pdf

Thanks for that though I think I was better off not having read it!

[UbonOz]

maybe pattaya can become the new Las Vegas of the orient? so those poor prostitutes can go work as card dealers and thus not needing to spread their germfull leggs to earn a buck for the mommy and daddy back home waiting for the easy money to arrive

Why not make it a HUB!!!!

[chrisinth]

A man marrying a bargirl for money? not vice versa? very odd.

She was talking about a Thai men, not farang. Most of the women bonking farang for money (including our wives) have their Thai guy they're supporting (and bonking) on the side. Back home they'd be called pimps.

My ex-wife is now making a lot more money than me in the bar biz in Pattaya, and once in a while she sends me money to help out with the kids' school fees and such. I suppose that makes me a pimp now. . .

That just makes you sad.

Can't see why it should make him sad in any way. It is his ex-wife; relationship over and "up-to-her" what she does and who with. For the girl in question to actually send money to help with the support of the kids give a certain amount of credance to the way the girls think.

There are so many circumstances for the girls to do what they do, whether it is to support family, repay debts, buy an I-phone, money for a drug habit; on and on it goes.

Speaking of Pattaya (I reference Pattaya because I used to know it quite well), I see a lot of posters in this thread and others who discriminate against the girls there, because they have heard that it is a terrible place without actually having ever been there, or they have evaluated it after spending the odd night there. Without doubt it has changed over the years, and I will be honest in saying I don't really know the place names/bar names anymore, but would be very surprised that regardles of the name of the place, nothing has changed inside.

The changes I have personally seen go back to the mid-eighty's, when Pattaya was a 24/7 party. The girls were there to make money and send back to support their families, which is exactly what happened. I am sure none of them wanted to be there, but they all accepted it and as best as they could in that siuation made the most of it.

Then came the drugs, the gambling, and probably the worst of all came the Ma-lang, the cochroach Thai guys, who were clever enough to realise that if they lent a shoulder to cry on, they would be provided with their living expenses. They used to have their own little harems, and the money soon faded to a trickle that was going home.

Today, it is now all business, the next generation taking over from the mother (or I'm sure father in some cases). For me, you can criticise these girls all you want; it is not neccessarily the carreer of choice that puts them in position that they find themselves and you certainly can't tar them all with the same brush.

For every rip-off that is pulled off by a bargirl, how many cases of unreported abuse do you think is hidden in the background. I used to know an awful lot of these girls, and have never tried to hide that fact. I would sooner have their company than the company of some of the people I have to deal with today.

Ooops. Rant over.

[NastyNick]

Whoever can't access it is not missing much. Thai reporter basically took 3 different articles about thai nuns, bar girls and pattaya and randomly pulled out paragraphs from each to create a hodgepodge piece that makes no sense, goes nowhere, with parts rephrased from Wikipedia entry on pattaya.

[Jerrytheyoung]

The article in Asia Sentinel was not coherent writing. Another poster stated that they are caught between the Euro and the Dollar, and this seems to more accurately state the dilemma. It is a material seeking path that puts material value ahead of sense of self and character. The argument about "taking care of parents" doesn't hold up well when you discover how the girls use the money. It usually means what's left after the slices for bar owners, police, boyfriends, and shopping/personal care. Then taking care of parents often means buying a 52 inch flat panel TV to replace an older TV and/or a newer truck that replaces the older one. Or maybe a new motorcycle to replace the older one. Or paying off the local loan sharks for the indentured land that was used as collateral so the loan can be re originated to finance a "brother" in a new "venture."

The brother had convinced the father to pledge his land to get the original loan and now the father complains to the girls that he has no money for a new TV while he spends nights drinking with the son who finagled him out of his land. They watch Thai boxing on the new 52" flat panel TV, while the brother plots how he can get the father to complain to the girls that he has no money. Thai culture has little regard or respect for women other than as instruments of means either working legitimately or as prostitutes. It doesn't matter, the end always justifies the means.

Your knowledge of the deep Issan is zero.

The reality is that the whole family works hard in the fields for a very weak income. Some members succeed to find a job in the garments factories or electrical/electronic ones of the Bangkokian belt or maid in hotel or hospital. Monthly salary rises up to 6,000TBT then you have to pay the share of the room, pay your travel expenses, your food... If the lady has children and the husband, also in difficulties, unable to feed his family, which is a frequent case, then with 6,000TBT the budget is insuficient...

I suggest you spend a couple of weeks in a village of your choice in North East Betwen Nakhon Phanom / Siwilai/ Non Khai.

What you have written is a disgrace

[ParadiseLost]

Firstly, let me say that I am totally disillusioned with this country and have already booked my ticket to Cambodia where I hope to find a more 'stable' existence...

I have been living here (Koh Phangan) since 2004, happily married to a fine upstanding Thai woman for 5 years. My wife has never been involved with the sex industry and comes from a very decent family (there were 90 policemen at our wedding - but not KP police thank god). Living on KP one is constantly aware of the sex trade but dare I say it is nowhere near as depraved as the likes of Pattaya, BKK or even Phuket. I personally do not visit the bars (nor the party scene) but I meet many of the girls through my wife's (clothing) business. Not all of them have a sad story, though many do - mostly due to abusive, low-life Thai men who use them, abuse them and then move on to (younger) conquests often leaving them destitute man haters.

I am an ex South African, who left my country decades ago as I could not stand living in a racist culture (yes, I left because I hated the whites - not the black people.) but living here has turned me into a racist - I hate Asian men. I cannot describe the contempt I have for the males in this place without getting my post deleted. Corruption, ignorance, arrogance are the most common traits but each individual I meet just seems to have some other despicable quality - without exception. This is after 7 years - not a two week vacation.

I have a question: - Thai women are very strong and resilient creatures, why do they stand for this childish boorish behaviour from the men? I have deep admiration for them, including the bar girls who generally are good girls turned bad. If there was ever to be a revolution here (say a Night of the Long Knives, ala Kenya) then it should be that every woman stabs the pig of a man sleeping next to her. That is the only way things will improve.

Some may say that things are changing, after all the PM is a woman - well some of the women are just as despicable as the men (but very few) and you only have to look to the family of Ms Y to see there is definitely bad shit mixed in there.

I love this country and living on KP has been wonderful; the island has a bad rep but it is totally unfounded if you avoid Had Rin which maybe comes close to the aforementioned shiteholes - but only close. However, I can no longer endure the (openly) corrupt immigration, police and ignorant males here, or being treated like an intruder so I say farewell.

Another rant over.

Edited March 2, 2012 by ParadiseLost

[WhizBang]

What a load of manure. Very poorly written.

There are some very good stories to be had in the issue of Thailand's sex workers, but it will take some real investigative journalism to present it properly. Of course, it won't happen. Not here, not in Thailand. It would shame the country, if the truth were known. Can't have that.

As for the girl that thinks her husband married her for her money... if he was Thai, you can bet on it.

[unanimosity]

What a boring article. But interesting to see a completely different take on bargirls in general than the usually we read on TV. Such as the quote below from the article from an ex bar girl.

"No life is good life, it just depends on what you make of it," she says in her broken English. Her husband left her two years after her second child was born. "In Thailand, women do no fear being alone, we know that is the reality. I think my husband had married me for the money I had," Julia observes stoically.

http://www.asiasenti...4281&Itemid=392

A man marrying a bargirl for money? not vice versa? very odd.

Thai man?

[BigRick]

"Thai society also cites the tradition that it is the foremost duty of a daughter to look after her parents, by whatever means it may be"<Including pimping your children> Hmm you would think in a society where the man is the bread winner that the woman folk would not be so suitable for having to support the family. Strange culture but great if you are a Thai man no responsibility. Knock some chick up not my problem its "Thai society" Sisters a whore taking care of drunky mom and dad in the countryside that is "Thai society". No wonder so many farang get duped by the women here they don't realize they are signing up for the whole family care package because if she has brothers they wont help because it is "Thai society"

[unanimosity]

Firstly, let me say that I am totally disillusioned with this country and have already booked my ticket to Cambodia where I hope to find a more 'stable' existence...

I have been living here (Koh Phangan) since 2004, happily married to a fine upstanding Thai woman for 5 years. My wife has never been involved with the sex industry and comes from a very decent family (there were 90 policemen at our wedding - but not KP police thank god). Living on KP one is constantly aware of the sex trade but dare I say it is nowhere near as depraved as the likes of Pattaya, BKK or even Phuket. I personally do not visit the bars (nor the party scene) but I meet many of the girls through my wife's (clothing) business. Not all of them have a sad story, though many do - mostly due to abusive, low-life Thai men who use them, abuse them and then move on to (younger) conquests often leaving them destitute man haters.

I am an ex South African, who left my country decades ago as I could not stand living in a racist culture (yes, I left because I hated the whites - not the black people.) but living here has turned me into a racist - I hate Asian men. I cannot describe the contempt I have for the males in this place without getting my post deleted. Corruption, ignorance, arrogance are the most common traits but each individual I meet just seems to have some other despicable quality - without exception. This is after 7 years - not a two week vacation.

I have a question: - Thai women are very strong and resilient creatures, why do they stand for this childish boorish behaviour from the men? I have deep admiration for them, including the bar girls who generally are good girls turned bad. If there was ever to be a revolution here (say a Night of the Long Knives, ala Kenya) then it should be that every woman stabs the pig of a man sleeping next to her. That is the only way things will improve.

Some may say that things are changing, after all the PM is a woman - well some of the women are just as despicable as the men (but very few) and you only have to look to the family of Ms Y to see there is definitely bad shit mixed in there.

I love this country and living on KP has been wonderful; the island has a bad rep but it is totally unfounded if you avoid Had Rin which maybe comes close to the aforementioned shiteholes - but only close. However, I can no longer endure the (openly) corrupt immigration, police and ignorant males here, or being treated like an intruder so I say farewell.

Another rant over.

News flash: Cambodia has Asian males as well.

[WhizBang]

For every rip-off that is pulled off by a bargirl, how many cases of unreported abuse do you think is hidden in the background. I used to know an awful lot of these girls, and have never tried to hide that fact. I would sooner have their company than the company of some of the people I have to deal with today.

Absolutely. I have witnessed a Thai man beating a Thai girl in broad daylight on Beach road in Pattaya. No one intervened. When I tried to head over my GF stopped me, saying the police would arrest me (probably true, actually).

I, as a rule, do not associate with farang. I have seen far too many drunken gits and just do not want to be associated with them.

On the other hand, I do know a lot of bar girls, and enjoying going in, buying them a lady drink and talking with them. I do not barfine them for sex, although, I do occasionally barfine them for an evening out at Tawandang. Plus I do this with my long time GF. They are our mutual friends.

Most of the time I find the behaviour of farangs embarassing. Seems to be doubly so, when they bring in the farang wife/GF too..

[ParadiseLost]

...

News flash: Cambodia has Asian males as well.

Yes, you are correct but it also has much more flexible visa rules, property and business ownership and I can at least register my motorcycle in my name. Gambling is legal and the police are not arrogant cowboys. Males seem to be far more friendly and accepting of foreigners, especially if you have skills to teach them.

[ludditeman]

Not really sure what you find so boring.... actually it is a very interesting article.... if you care about the story(s). The bargirls...the mae chii's...and barely touched on; Thai society's continuing (mis) treatment of woman. It is a sad story that a Thai male can run around doing whoever he feels, leaving children in his wake, while the woman are left to fend for the (his) children, themselves and her parents who are now looking after the children. The Thai male seldom supports, and although their may be a legal requirement to do so, it is not enforced by Thai courts. This drives many woman as the article states into prostitution, as a 6000 baht a month job just won't do it.

I know plenty of Thais who can live on 6000bht a month and bring up children without resorting to prostitution.

I know several elderly village Thai ladies, one lives on 1000bht a month, one lives on 3500bht a month (they don't pay rent from that). There are a lot of lazy girls in Pattaya who prefer their lifestyle.

Nobody is starving in Thailand, nobody has to work as a prostitute.

Edited March 2, 2012 by ludditeman

[swisstouristpattaya]

yop,lady work while thai men go drink and play pool with his friends.

Thai men are not responsible, they borrow money, buy car in leasing and are always broke.

[maxtingtong]

I can't load the article. With a usb stick DTAC

[penwithchris]

There are many complex reasons why Thai girls become prostitutes. Over the years I have been with literally hundreds of 'sopheni' making sure I kept healthy by having my 'five a day' as the health professionals recommend. It certainly kept me fit and, for the most part, happy.

Guess I must have built a few houses around the country.

I always felt quite comfortable with my lifestyle always treating ladies with kindness and respect. I rarely took girls out of the bars referring to solicit the many 'floaters' that abound.

A lot of girls look to meet a 'farang' to go with them to their home countries. This can work well in most cases but can end badly if the lady(or man)has ill intentions.

After a while your eyes become opened to what's really happening in places like Pattaya. Watching girls after their 'shifts' being picked up on a motorcycle away from the action by their husbands/boyfriends. Those Thai guys wandering around the beach who are monitoring their girl(s) every move.

Pattaya is a seedy but exciting place. 'Disneyland for Adults' some call it. A city of broken hearts for others.

Regrettably the place is changing and so is the demeanour of many working girls. There are fewer fresh faces and more hard ,sharp and nasty features. I'd like to think I can spot a bad'n from fifty yards.

As Sergeant Esterhaus used to say in Hill Street Blues - 'Be careful out there'

[billthaibill]

There is no family planning in Thailand. If one cannot afford to have family under strained circumstances

than don't. Even if times are on the upside, still know loss of a job or other such scenario usually

creates unbearable conditions.

Knowledge is power and it starts in the schools or in the home, ideally both.

[BookMan]

What a boring article. But interesting to see a completely different take on bargirls in general than the usually we read on TV. Such as the quote below from the article from an ex bar girl.

"No life is good life, it just depends on what you make of it," she says in her broken English. Her husband left her two years after her second child was born. "In Thailand, women do no fear being alone, we know that is the reality. I think my husband had married me for the money I had," Julia observes stoically.

http://www.asiasenti...4281&Itemid=392

A man marrying a bargirl for money? not vice versa? very odd.

Not really sure what you find so boring.... actually it is a very interesting article.... if you care about the story(s). The bargirls...the mae chii's...and barely touched on; Thai society's continuing (mis) treatment of woman. It is a sad story that a Thai male can run around doing whoever he feels, leaving children in his wake, while the woman are left to fend for the (his) children, themselves and her parents who are now looking after the children. The Thai male seldom supports, and although their may be a legal requirement to do so, it is not enforced by Thai courts. This drives many woman as the article states into prostitution, as a 6000 baht a month job just won't do it.

People who look down on these "prostitutes" live in a fantasy world. There are many factors which motivate some people to do whatever it is that they do. Sometimes it is as simple as "survival", with the skills or assets that they currently possess. For those of us that do not have a need to consider "survival".....we are truly among the luckiest people on the planet, for most of the planet "survives".

Boring as in 'poorly written and constructed' (Really, much like my first posting on this thread).

The title of the article is also misleading, though that is not the journos fault. How are they caught between passion and compassion?

Perhaps the article was heavily edited and what comes across as a mish mash of a few themes and ideas cobbled together for a confusing read.

[billthaibill]

...

News flash: Cambodia has Asian males as well.

Yes, you are correct but it also has much more flexible visa rules, property and business ownership and I can at least register my motorcycle in my name. Gambling is legal and the police are not arrogant cowboys. Males seem to be far more friendly and accepting of foreigners, especially if you have skills to teach them.

I agree. Thailand isnt the only show in town. Laos, Burma, Cambodia all have upsides where BKK/Thailand is lacking.

[ludditeman]

There is no family planning in Thailand. If one cannot afford to have family under strained circumstances

than don't. Even if times are on the upside, still know loss of a job or other such scenario usually

creates unbearable conditions.

Knowledge is power and it starts in the schools or in the home, ideally both.

You can buy condoms everywhere, often given out free in 'working' areas. Morning after pills are sold in every pharmacy for 40bht. Five year contraceptive inserts are either free or sold for less than 200bht.

Please explain what you mean by 'no family planning'

posted using galaxy tab

Edited March 2, 2012 by ludditeman

[ParadiseLost]

There are many complex reasons why Thai girls become prostitutes. Over the years I have been with literally hundreds of 'sopheni' making sure I kept healthy by having my 'five a day' as the health professionals recommend. It certainly kept me fit and, for the most part, happy.

...

I have to ask - what is 'five a day'?