...why do so many farang guys seem to jump at the chance to make some derogatory comment about western women?

Dont be nice, be honest.

Bitterness of past memories.

Treat them bad, the women then just about have enough and take the kids and the house, leaving them wondering why.

They go to Thailand with enough money for cheap sex, round two of thinking they are kings of the World, get taken for money and then they are bemoaning their lot.

I wonder, where's the common denominator?

I think that was nice enough, honest, but still nice.

I wonder, where's the common denominator?

Wherever you go - there you are.

Because its easier to blame someone else for your problems than to look at yourself. Those who had bitter failed marriages will probably repeat the story because they are unwilling to take responsibility for their own part in the failure of the relationship so ergo, it must all be her fault and by some correlation made in their brains known only to themselves, must also then be all western women's fault too.

Additionally those who couldn't attract a woman back home and then come to Thailand and find themselves irresistible to some women must then blame the women back home for failing to find them irresistible.

Or to put it in the same nutshell that endure did, wherever you go, there you are.

Mossfin, i said DONT be nice, be honest

Great answers guys, thanks.

Very small minded (not to mention utterly ridiculous) to think and entire race is representative of your negative experience with an ex wife (or women in the west in general). ..oh and thus must be put down at all opportunity.

I know a guy (not very well personally, but through a mutual friend who im close to) who has a real aversion to western women in general (actually though, westerners in general tbh, but anyway..). Hes a young guy (35) and has lived here since he was 18. I think he thinks he is Thai. He speaks and reads Thai fluently, and only finds the very light skinned Thais attractive, even if they do not have very "pretty" features ..just so long as they are white skinned. He doesnt like brown girls..but, if you put the worlds sexiest, most beautiful western woman, next to a very dark skinned country Thai girl, you bet he would say the thai girl is more attractive to him. Purely because she is Thai and not western. I realise there are guys out there that arent attracted to Asian women, but surely most would admit that some are still attractive..?..but for this guy, if its western, its ugly, and thats that!

Veered a bit off, but what i mean is it just astounds me how some western men are here.

My guess is it is somewhere in between what SBK said & maybe there are some terrible western ladies too...who knows ?

I mean for sure there are some derelict men who could never accept the fact that they were the problem & now blame all Westerner Women.

Then there are some who may have actually loved a witch & paid for it.....

I have had relationships fail in my life but they failed nicely because we each changed differently over time...

Not because one of us were mean or terrible . We are still friends & talk on the phone or if we run into each other hugs & small talk.

Maybe I was lucky? But I always said from the beginning while things were still great that it is possible at some point we will not be traveling parallel paths/ be in love & if that happens I hope we split as respectfully as we came together. We did

The other Thai assimilated guy you speak of Eek....My bet is since he lived in Thailand since 18 it is as you said....He thinks or *wishes* he was Thai

His claimed distaste for western women may just be a show....Showing how Thai he is or is trying to be? unless of course he had a really bad experience & now blames a whole race? But both of those reasons are equally dumb

A lot of it has to do with their own attitudes towards women, too. Aside from the most blatant silliness (for example, blaming women who are their own age- possibly in 60's or 70's- for not looking like they are in their 20's anymore), there is an anger at the growing emancipation and freedom of women and all other former 'minority' groups and the reduced power and privilege of being a white male. Being in a country like Thailand, the illusion of some of that power and privilege is restored by their relative economic strength and the residual status of being a white foreigner (which once was much, much greater here). So part of it is the individual bitterness as above, and part is a cultural bitterness at losing their patriarchy.

Some just go for the easy target on a multitude of subjects as they know they will get nods of approval from other like minded individuals.

The third rate mind is happy thinking with the majority, the second rate mind is happy thinking with the minority, the first rate mind is happy thinking.

I've had quite a few relationships in the west that have not failed, just ended (all of them if I remember correctly) some of them have found me on Facebook and we still chat. The relationship failure number in Thailand is significantly higher and in a shorter space of time, but you won't find me condemning Thai women just for being Thai women.

I think it's also exasperated in the fact they are more likely to meet like-minded people here.

On a Pattaya bar stool, for example, you can expect to find somebody that is bitter having suffered broken relationships in the past. Not all of course and perhaps not even the majority, but more so than in in the West.There they can sit with other people that are happy to slag off Western women to make themselves feel better about themselves while their 'friends' are agreeing and 'confirming' what they say. And of course, anybody else that suggests otherwise is just stupid and naive. It's not long before they genuinely begin to believe it all.

Such nonsense is not limited to Western women as Thai women also get their share, only in their case it is that they will ALL sleep with anybody for money.

The same thing appears to happen on Thai Visa

In the West, I think it much more likely somebody would tell them to F-off and get a grip.

I am not down on western women, so I am not even going to hypothesize on other's (miss-guided...) judgement.

Since this is a why topic I just want to know why Thai men have much larger bladder's than their western counterparts????

I am not down on western women, so I am not even going to hypothesize on other's (miss-guided...) judgement.

Since this is a why topic I just want to know why Thai men have much larger bladder's than their western counterparts????

I didn't know they had Morris Dancing in Thailand.

I had to look that up.

I can see how this form of dancing would lead to a bloated bladder.

I would pretty much agree with what Mossfin wrote... which saves me the trouble of repeating it. I've been through the wringer twice and learned my lesson the hard way. However, I've seen enough marriages that work to believe there is always hope for the younger folks. I'm too old to start again with anybody I find remotely attractive. Besides, I've learned to enjoy my freedom too much. And, although I've had plenty of offers from young women in Thailand, I respect THEIR feelings too much to saddle them with an old fart when I can no longer function as a man should. I look back at both my ex-wives in Canada and I wouldn't take either of them back for any amount of money... even though we are on friendly terms today. I wish them all the best for the remainder of their lives. I have no regrets.

Hehe I like this one...well Western women are not the problem...its what's inside our own minds that is.

If a man prefers a slim Asian woman then up to him but that's not to say she is not looking for a white foreigner.

Plenty Western women going abroad too and disillusioned with overweight bigoted and sexist white guys.

I just keep on smiling at all the ladies...

I had to look that up.

I can see how this form of dancing would lead to a bloated bladder.

I'm going to be really really boring now, apart from the hankies, a traditional part of the Morris Dancers routine is an inflated pigs bladder on a stick and tying a virgin to a pole, that's the sort of stuff that you would be proud to tell your grandchildren.

They may hold it longer but then they get kidney stones, so don't envy the larger bladder

I had to look that up.

I can see how this form of dancing would lead to a bloated bladder.

I'm going to be really really boring now, apart from the hankies, a traditional part of the Morris Dancers routine is an inflated pigs bladder on a stick and tying a virgin to a pole, that's the sort of stuff that you would be proud to tell your grandchildren.

Yeah, but where do you find a virgin?

Raid a nursery ?

The most logical explanation I can give is people make poor choices in the mates they choose. That goes for both men and women. When it doesn't work out then they like to blame the other person... which is pretty much what sbk said. That doesn't mean they are actually WRONG, it just means they are attracted to the wrong type of people and have unrealistic expectations. From a man's point of view he is still attracted to the young lovelies that he was when he was 18. That never changes, but his opportunities certainly change as he gets older. When you are a youngish looking 30 year old then you MIGHT get away with dating a 19 or 20 year old gal, but that diminishes the older you get... unless you've got a pot full of money and a lot of fame or notoriety.

Because there is such a discrepancy in income between western males and Thai females the rules change SLIGHTLY. A reasonably well off western male can offer a young Thai female a solid base for helping her family survive. That fact alone can make a western man attractive to desperate women.

But, when the western man marries the Thai woman and quickly finds out that she is only interested in the arrangement for the money then he get bitter all over again and blames her rather than himself for his own poor decision.

The fact that there are so many trim, slender Thai females available, and who look much younger than they actually are, that it puts many western females in a bad light when those western females have put on too much weight. A western man is naturally going to notice the differences and make unfair generalizations.

It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it. Anyone who is unwilling to take responsibility for their own behavior is doomed to repeat themselves over and over again since its always the other person's fault

\I find men tend to notice the things they want to see rather than the reality. There are plenty of non-slim non-young non-beautiful Thai women as well but its rarely noticed because you don't want to see it but prefer instead to perpetuate the stereotype that you want to see,.

I didn't do nothin'...the irish ex-wife called me an eedjit fer talkin' to our cat...and I always thought that inter-species communication should be admired and encouraged...

she was barbaric in her condemnation...

A western man is naturally going to notice the differences and make unfair generalizations.

Only if he is a plonker.

I'm not yet 40 Ian but I wouldn't look for a long term relationship with a lassie under 25...a one nighter for sure..

Nah when you look for a partner other things are more important and I can't see my life experience and a young Thai lassies being compatible.

I didn't do nothin'...the irish ex-wife called me an eedjit fer talkin' to our cat...and I always thought that inter-species communication should be admired and encouraged...

she was barbaric in her condemnation...

Jealousy is a sin.

yeah...an' then she took my son, the house and the 1988 E reg Skoda and I was packed off to the Abu Dhabi desert with the shirt on my back and not much more...I even had to jettison my superb underground comic book collection for fear that if it was discovered that my genitals would be severed in public one Friday morning after prayers...

an' once she stood outside the men's toilet at Gatwick airport and shouted: 'get outta there will ye? we ain't got time to wait fer you an' yer stinkin' bowel movements...' and she then curtsied as she had an audience...unbelievable...

an' then later there was diabetes and high blood pressure and mortality staring me in the face and she said: 'either die or hand over the support money, pal...'

ms eek, surely you can unnerstand...and I just wanted to lay my harassed and weary heid against a soft and comforting scottish bosom...sorta like in the movie with Liam Neeson and Jessica Lange...

A western man is naturally going to notice the differences and make unfair generalizations.

Only if he is a plonker.

I'm not yet 40 Ian but I wouldn't look for a long term relationship with a lassie under 25...a one nighter for sure..

Nah when you look for a partner other things are more important and I can't see my life experience and a young Thai lassies being compatible.

What's plonker? Nothing wrong with a little plonking providing both parties are mature and enjoyng themselves.

There is a big difference between when you are looking for a long term partner and when you are just out for a bit of fun. What's that old saying... "Never take a beautiful woman as your wife"

Men and women are so different that ANY long term relationship is a struggle. And, with so many personalities coming into play it makes it even more likely to have problems. Then there are the power struggles. Who gets to call all the shots? Ideally, it should be a compromise, but it seldom is. Women use manipulation and men try to use physical power. Men usually lose out in that struggle... except for the ones that go bonkers and kill everyone.

Ian, you're really painting a caricature of men here. There's a much greater variety of personalities out there, including men who are pretty far into the realm you're calling for women, and that's not just because some of them are gay.

I think men and women are *encouraged* and *taught* to be different by society- sure, and that results in a lot of group differences. But I don't think the differences are inherent.

Eek, to answer your OP, I think that a great number of 'Western' men are not dealing well with changes in their society which they would probably call 'politically correct' or 'feminist', but which I would call 'improvements to social justice, and about effin' time!'

Since they grew up under the 'old rules' it's no surprise that they're bitter. Things here are more like the 'old rules' for them, and they feel more comfortable. But it's not because they can't adapt. It's because 'Western' women are _______________ (fill in the blank with your favourite denial of responsibility).

Men and women are so different that ANY long term relationship is a struggle.

Yup, better tell my parents that, they had 45 very happy years together, or my sister who is now on her 32nd year of marriage, happily I might add. or the many many other couples who have been married 30 plus years. Ian, Just because its this way for you, does not, as IJWT rightly points out, make it a universal truth.

Men and women are so different that ANY long term relationship is a struggle.

Yup, better tell my parents that, they had 45 very happy years together, or my sister who is now on her 32nd year of marriage, happily I might add. or the many many other couples who have been married 30 plus years. Ian, Just because its this way for you, does not, as IJWT rightly points out, make it a universal truth.

I never said there aren't a lot of happily married couples, I'm just saying that it is a struggle. I'm sure your parents went through some struggles, as I believe your sister has as well. It takes two to make a marriage work and I don't know anyone with a reasonable bit of smarts who always agrees with everything their marriage partner does or says. My parents were married for over 60 years and still remained together... despite fighting a lot. I have many married friends who are seemingly happy after 40 years. But, the statistics on marriage show a divorce rate of over 50%. That doesn't come from happy couples.

Ian, you're really painting a caricature of men here. There's a much greater variety of personalities out there, including men who are pretty far into the realm you're calling for women, and that's not just because some of them are gay.

I'm not painting any caricature of men with what I wrote. I was just answering eek's question. There are thousands of average men who don't demean women or speak nasty of them with broad sweeping statements. The ones that do have invaribly had a few bad dealings with women and then paint them all with the same brush. it's more noticeable in Thailand because there are so many marriages and relationships between widely differing ages. I never speak badly of women, but I will point out personal observations on specific situations that happened to me. I've carefully watched what has gone on with friends, family and acquaintances, and I know the causes behind certain events. There are so many scenarios for why people do the things they do that there can NEVER be an answer to everything. End of a marriage, Loss of a child, loss of a job, injuries, sickness and other health issues will all have a profound effect on most everyone and what they do. Everyone deals with the same situation differently.

More often than not I make excuses for people who do bad things to me and others. I don't know what went on before I ran into their grief and anger. It's like running into a cop after a minor traffic offence. If he just got laid by his girl friend then he might give you a break on the ticket. But, if he just scraped some kid off the highway who just had an accident then you might get the book thrown at you.

Men and women are so different that ANY long term relationship is a struggle.

Yup, better tell my parents that, they had 45 very happy years together, or my sister who is now on her 32nd year of marriage, happily I might add. or the many many other couples who have been married 30 plus years. Ian, Just because its this way for you, does not, as IJWT rightly points out, make it a universal truth.

I never said there aren't a lot of happily married couples, I'm just saying that it is a struggle. I'm sure your parents went through some struggles, as I believe your sister has as well. It takes two to make a marriage work and I don't know anyone with a reasonable bit of smarts who always agrees with everything their marriage partner does or says. My parents were married for over 60 years and still remained together... despite fighting a lot. I have many married friends who are seemingly happy after 40 years. But, the statistics on marriage show a divorce rate of over 50%. That doesn't come from happy couples.

I think this has come about as a result of economic growth and independence for women.

We can roll it around but the age of equality is upon us...and when I meet a woman prepared to put in 50% I might get married!

Men and women are so different that ANY long term relationship is a struggle.

Yup, better tell my parents that, they had 45 very happy years together, or my sister who is now on her 32nd year of marriage, happily I might add. or the many many other couples who have been married 30 plus years. Ian, Just because its this way for you, does not, as IJWT rightly points out, make it a universal truth.

I never said there aren't a lot of happily married couples, I'm just saying that it is a struggle. I'm sure your parents went through some struggles, as I believe your sister has as well. It takes two to make a marriage work and I don't know anyone with a reasonable bit of smarts who always agrees with everything their marriage partner does or says. My parents were married for over 60 years and still remained together... despite fighting a lot. I have many married friends who are seemingly happy after 40 years. But, the statistics on marriage show a divorce rate of over 50%. That doesn't come from happy couples.

I think this has come about as a result of economic growth and independence for women.

We can roll it around but the age of equality is upon us...and when I meet a woman prepared to put in 50% I might get married!

it ain't the women who put in less than 50% that are the problem. It's the ones who think they are entitled to 80% or more when they split up.