Thai Women And Cleanliness?

[blabbel]

...

Watch out, Feminist Police about. Apparently wanting to marry a lady who cleans up after herself is sexist.

That's not what the original question was about, though, was it?

Sorry, maybe a strange question. I am seriously considering marriage to a sweet Thai girl and although I would not change my mind if she did not keep a clean house, but I do want to know what to expect.

What is so strange about this question? - let me spell it out for you:

1. that the poster doesn't know the standard of cleaniless of someone he wants to marry

2. the choice of words, i.e."sweet Thai girl"

3. the implicit assumption that it's her task to keep the house clean, which, together with 2., makes the comment sound 'sexist'.

Comprende?

Let me illustrate this by turning it around:

"I am seriously considering marriage to a sweet US boy and although I would not change my mind if he did not keep a clean house, but I do want to know what to expect."

Would you say this comment was a bit 'strange'? Surprised if any men here challenged the attitude?

Actually, I don't mind, it adds to the flavour of this diverse forum.

However, I DO have a problem with the denial, deliberate misinterpretation and snide attacks which usually follow after comments like this are challenged, it's dishonest and irritating.

[Glauka]

so it seems if she marry you...that´s gonna be her job...

are you plannig to do some housekeeping yourself?

Because if so you could teach her on how to clean...some people don´t know how to clean....

I just want to add (don´t mean to offence) your topic is a bit sexist...

I think you should have involved both sexes male and female...

My experience is that thai people keep their house in middle standar of cleaning...they don´t have their houses desinfected but they are clean...

of course you can find dirty people and clean people like everywhere...

So my post is still irritating people...

Robitusson...

Even though I sound like it I am not a "Police feminist"....

well I am going to tell you way it sound to me sexist...

Sorry, maybe a strange question. I am seriously considering marriage to a sweet Thai girl and although I would not change my mind if she did not keep a clean house, but I do want to know what to expect.

This sentence implies that is her task to keep the house clean. This sentence do not implies if she is gonna work or not..

later the OP told me that she is not going to work so he thinks that they should share tasks...he will work outside and she will do the house work...fair enough....

For those of you who have experienced women from different cultures it would be interesting to hear your comments.

This sentence only refers to one sex...female. The OP has implies that women were the ones to keep the house clean in the relationships of the tv members who post in this topic...So it is assumed to be a women job...

I realize you have all sorts in every culture and I do not wish to be sterotypical, but I think in every culture there are some things that are consistent.

In general, do Thai women keep a clean house?

The last sentence again implies that is a women task...

So here you are again blabbel

What is so strange about this question? - let me spell it out for you:

1. that the poster doesn't know the standard of cleaniless of someone he wants to marry

2. the choice of words, i.e."sweet Thai girl"

3. the implicit assumption that it's her task to keep the house clean, which, together with 2., makes the comment sound 'sexist'.

I don´t have a problem of choice of words "sweet thai girl"....and i don´t see that the sexist comment comes from putting together that sentence and the assumption. The sexist comment IMHO comes from "In general, do Thai women keep a clean house?"

Comprende?

Let me illustrate this by turning it around:

"I am seriously considering marriage to a sweet US boy and although I would not change my mind if he did not keep a clean house, but I do want to know what to expect."

This is not a good example for a turning around...because you are not playing with sterotypes so it sounds funny...

A good example would be something like...

"I am considering to marry a nice US boy and although I would not change my mind if he don´t sustain me and my family financially i don´t know what to expect"

or

I am considering to marry a nice English boy and althougn I am not sure If he likes to sleep with 18 years old hookers I do want to know if this is as common as it seems. In general, do farang man like to sleep with hookers 30 years younger than them?

Would you say this comment was a bit 'strange'? Surprised if any men here challenged the attitude?

Actually, I don't mind, it adds to the flavour of this diverse forum.

However, I DO have a problem with the denial, deliberate misinterpretation and snide attacks which usually follow after comments like this are challenged, it's dishonest and irritating.

why to challenge a comment is dishonest?

Well I challenge the OP comment because we have different points of view...but we can disscuss them can´t we? That´s one wayof learning from other people experiences ...we just state our different opinion without being rude and without bashing each other Is that so irritating? Now you are challenging mine So what is the difference between you and me? Are you also dishonest and irritating?

None of the people who comment something about my post (including easttech) say anything about my advice of teach her how to clean if she doesn´t know how to...I think is a good advice. My mother taugh me how to clean and I have taugh to my ex-boyfriend and some other friends because they didn´t know how to do it.

However all of you were more focus on my little comment which became the most important part of my post, overlooking my sensible advice....

Edit*:I have re-read this again...

I don´t know if I understood your post well Blabbel...so tell if i misunderstood you...

still i going to keep my original post...

Edited January 14, 2006 by Glauka

[Ulysses G.]

I am considering to marry a nice English boy and althougn I am not sure If he likes to sleep with 18 years old hookers I do want to know if this is as common as it seems. In general, do farang man like to sleep with hookers 30 years younger than them?

YES, but 40 years younger is even better.

[blabbel]

Edit*:I have re-read this again...

I don´t know if I understood your post well Blabbel...so tell if i misunderstood you...

still i going to keep my original post...

Probably a misunderstanding.

I thought I was argueing on your side, I found it perfectly reasonable to question the original poster's attitude.

Never mind...

I am considering to marry a nice English boy and althougn I am not sure If he likes to sleep with 18 years old hookers I do want to know if this is as common as it seems. In general, do farang man like to sleep with hookers 30 years younger than them?

YES, but 40 years younger is even better.

Well, with this attitude, you are still wondering why educated office girls who have a life want nothing to do with you???

Ohh boy....

[Glauka]

Edit*:I have re-read this again...

I don´t know if I understood your post well Blabbel...so tell if i misunderstood you...

still i going to keep my original post...

Probably a misunderstanding.

I thought I was argueing on your side, I found it perfectly reasonable to question the original poster's attitude.

Never mind...

Ups!!! SORRY

Yes that is what i though after re-reding it ...

sometimes I misundertand post...I don´t know if it is because my english level or something else...

Anyway I hope my post can conttibute to someone who thinks that my first post is unreasonable...

[Thaipwriter]

How much is the dowry demand?

[caledonia]

Babbel And Glauka have made good enough posts about how sexist this original comment was whether it is being denied as over sensitive or whatever!

BUT I think what I find most hilarious and down right disturbing is that someone has made the choice to marry someone and rather than thinking about their compatibility on raising a family, in religion, in morals, ambitions, finances, attitudes towards family etc the guy is worrying about whether she will keep his house clean!!! eh!!! Is this for real - is he hiring for a housekeeper and thought the spousal visa would be easier to get than a worker visa? Wages are a dam site cheaper I suppose!!!

[the_heart_thief]

I'm glad I'm not a "Thai Girl." Poor Gals!

This topic is a bit too much. Doesn't anyone have a sense of propriety left, at all? I hope so.

[Ulysses G.]

I am considering to marry a nice English boy and althougn I am not sure If he likes to sleep with 18 years old hookers I do want to know if this is as common as it seems. In general, do farang man like to sleep with hookers 30 years younger than them?

YES, but 40 years younger is even better.

Well, with this attitude, you are still wondering why educated office girls who have a life want nothing to do with you???

Ohh boy....

What kind of a genius would take that statement seriously?

Ohhh boy....

[the_heart_thief]

I am considering to marry a nice English boy and althougn I am not sure If he likes to sleep with 18 years old hookers I do want to know if this is as common as it seems. In general, do farang man like to sleep with hookers 30 years younger than them?

YES, but 40 years younger is even better.

Well, with this attitude, you are still wondering why educated office girls who have a life want nothing to do with you???

Ohh boy....

What kind of a genius would take that statement seriously?

Ohhh boy....

I think, they're both joking. ***winks.

[opothai]

what is sexist about a woman cleaning the house

to my mind women are far more thorough and a lot better at cleaning than the average man same goes for cooking.

when we were young our chores were split the boys mowed the lawns and cleaned the cars and my sisters helped mum with the cooking and cleaning.

i would not expect a woman to be a top class bricklayer or steel erector but i would expect a woman to be able to cook and clean.

[Nam Kao]

My thai wife of 8 years impeccably clean. i am not out of bed for 2 minutes and the bed

is made, breakfast on the table, a beautiful smile, beautiful thin body and a voice that

could melt a tile on the Space Shuttle. PM me i'll send u photo.

American girls, well i found them lazy, spoiled and getting them to clean is like picking

a safe at Fort Knox. I am not attacking anyone, just my experience. I am sure there

might be some good ones, i just never heard anyone find one.

My wife came back to the US with me and after a week i sat down with her and asked her

"well u here now, what u want do? you want car and friends". She said "no my job take

care husband". I stumbled outside and fell to my face and grabbed handfuls of dirt

and yelled YESSSSSSSSSSS!

The only problem i have run into is when my wife wai's me when i come home, the American

ladies dont like for some reason. My wife doesnt understand why they dont respect their husbands.

take care

nam

[Thaipwriter]

My thai wife of 8 years impeccably clean. i am not out of bed for 2 minutes and the bed

is made, breakfast on the table, a beautiful smile, beautiful thin body and a voice that

could melt a tile on the Space Shuttle. PM me i'll send u photo.

American girls, well i found them lazy, spoiled and getting them to clean is like picking

a safe at Fort Knox. I am not attacking anyone, just my experience. I am sure there

might be some good ones, i just never heard anyone find one.

My wife came back to the US with me and after a week i sat down with her and asked her

"well u here now, what u want do? you want car and friends". She said "no my job take

care husband". I stumbled outside and fell to my face and grabbed handfuls of dirt

and yelled YESSSSSSSSSSS!

The only problem i have run into is when my wife wai's me when i come home, the American

ladies dont like for some reason. My wife doesnt understand why they dont respect their husbands.

take care

nam

Sounds like you found an absolute diamond. good for you.

My ex girlfriend was lazy, greedy, selfish, miserable, and never helped around the house.

I know she is not representative of Thai women in general.

When i visit my friends their wives always seem to be ironing or washing or something.....and I often think "gotta find me one of those"

[Nam Kao]

thaipwriter

the key here is to find one upcountry, the city/tourist area ones are westernized to some point.

And use my litmus filter.

And steer clear Thai-Chinese

regards

nam

Edited January 15, 2006 by Nam Kao

[raro]

How much is the dowry demand?

for Glauka?

[chonabot]

I'm glad I'm not a "Thai Girl." Poor Gals!

Filpina's have it any easier ?

[blabbel]

what is sexist about a woman cleaning the house

to my mind women are far more thorough and a lot better at cleaning than the average man same goes for cooking.

when we were young our chores were split the boys mowed the lawns and cleaned the cars and my sisters helped mum with the cooking and cleaning.

i would not expect a woman to be a top class bricklayer or steel erector but i would expect a woman to be able to cook and clean.

Is this an example of a deliberate 'misunderstanding', or are you a bit 'slow'?

sexist: 1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.

2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

Gender-stereotyping and how it is perpetuated in child-upbringing has been discussed at nauseum during the last 30 years. Where have you been hiding all these years?

[gburns57au]

My wife came back to the US with me and after a week i sat down with her and asked her

"well u here now, what u want do? you want car and friends". She said "no my job take

care husband". I stumbled outside and fell to my face and grabbed handfuls of dirt

and yelled YESSSSSSSSSSS!

I had a similar situation.....before I brought my gal here for a holiday I said to her that I was worried she would be bored at home while I am at work....She said...No Problem I can clean and cook for you....YIPPEEEE !!!

And that is exactly what she did. But in fairness, I did help her at weekends, took her out as much as possible to see things and took her out for meals or just bought in sometimes. She seemed happy with that arrangement.

[blabbel]

Yeah, that's often fine for a so-called 'holiday', while she doesn't know anyone in a foreign country and it's for a limited period.

[easttech]

Wow, I think some people really have nothing better to do than run their mouths. I would think if you have nothing reasonable to add, then you just move on.

[blabbel]

After you...

[Ulysses G.]

Wow, I think some people really have nothing better to do than run their mouths. I would think if you have nothing reasonable to add, then you just move on.

Running his mouth seems to be "blabbel's" thing, no matter what nick he is using.

[nasa]

From my experience and observation, it depend on each individual, personal and family background. A few thai women I have met are very clean and tidy and do keep the house very clean and neat. Some need to be taught and educate about cleaniness. And there are also those that are lazy and couldn't be bother despite being teach and taught about this subject. Maybe family upbringing. It's very general and just hpoe you find the right girl and good luck

[gburns57au]

Yeah, that's often fine for a so-called 'holiday', while she doesn't know anyone in a foreign country and it's for a limited period.

I dont understand your use of the term "so called Holiday"....are you are trying to make some sort of point here?.....there was no expectation for her to do anything she didnt want to do. You see when you bring a girl here for a few months, unless you are "an idle rich", then you have to go to work to put food on the table and also if you are interested in making a more permanant situation then she needs to know exactly what she is letting herself in for. If I had brought her here for 2 weeks then I would have taken leave from work and spent the entire time with her.

If you are suggesting that I brought her here just to tend to the housekeeping, then you are miles away from the reality....

[Nam Kao]

>>>Yeah, that's often fine for a so-called 'holiday', while she doesn't know anyone in a foreign country and it's for a limited period

So far 8 years for me, i wouldnt know how to turn on a vacuum or whatever that other crap was

The wai-ing is the best, drives american units insane

Edited January 15, 2006 by Nam Kao

[opothai]

what is sexist about a woman cleaning the house

to my mind women are far more thorough and a lot better at cleaning than the average man same goes for cooking.

when we were young our chores were split the boys mowed the lawns and cleaned the cars and my sisters helped mum with the cooking and cleaning.

i would not expect a woman to be a top class bricklayer or steel erector but i would expect a woman to be able to cook and clean.

Is this an example of a deliberate 'misunderstanding', or are you a bit 'slow'?

sexist: 1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.

2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

how on earth is that sexist. women are better than men in some areas and visa versa. me i call it the truth

Gender-stereotyping and how it is perpetuated in child-upbringing has been discussed at nauseum during the last 30 years. Where have you been hiding all these years?

i would not expect my wife to be humping bricks and steel around for a living, but if i was left at home as the house hubby i would cook and clean[ although not to the wife's standards]

so it works for her and me to work.

and as for where have i been for the last thirty years LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD and not a pc mumbo jumbo perfect world scenario that is only a dream.

let me just say

my parents are still married along with all my elder relatives, this cannot be said for many of my brothers sisters and cousins apart from 2 out of 18 yes 18.

30 t0 40 years ago people new as they were growing up what they had to do in life they were never told it was just inherent i guess.

i have children growing up 1 in college another doing an appreticeship all they talk about is thier god given right to this that and the other instead of getting on with life and making a go of it.

the point i am trying to make is with all this pc attitude and sexist equality being pushed by the do gooders the divorce rate and general tolerance of one person to the next has markedly deteriorated all through the civilsed world.

pray tell me if i am wrong but first look at the statistics.

so my hat is off to the numbskulls for making the world a more tolerant and understanding place.

and please keep up the good work.

[Polly]

Of course that it true but it is a fact that women of that era had no choice. Do you think that makes happy marriages? No it makes a lower divorce rate but that does not automatically say that marriages were happy.

[opothai]

Of course that it true but it is a fact that women of that era had no choice. Do you think that makes happy marriages? No it makes a lower divorce rate but that does not automatically say that marriages were happy.

well the divorce rate for happy people is having a profound effect on the children that are involved in these more forward thinking times.

not many marriages are happy all the time but you have to work at them. and we could definately learn something from the previous generations.

as for choice well my mother definately had choices, i think maybe you are going back to the emily parkhurst era, the sufrajets have moved on somewhat or are they still out there.

[blabbel]

I dont understand your use of the term "so called Holiday"....are you are trying to make some sort of point here?.....there was no expectation for her to do anything she didnt want to do. You see when you bring a girl here for a few months, unless you are "an idle rich", then you have to go to work to put food on the table and also if you are interested in making a more permanant situation then she needs to know exactly what she is letting herself in for. If I had brought her here for 2 weeks then I would have taken leave from work and spent the entire time with her.

If you are suggesting that I brought her here just to tend to the housekeeping, then you are miles away from the reality....

Not exactly a holiday, staying at your place cleaning and preparing meals while you are out working, is it? I'd call it a "holiday" when I travel with my partner/gf/sweetheart or what ever ( definately a woman rather than a girl, though) and we're both idle and enjoying ourselves!

[gburns57au]

I dont understand your use of the term "so called Holiday"....are you are trying to make some sort of point here?.....there was no expectation for her to do anything she didnt want to do. You see when you bring a girl here for a few months, unless you are "an idle rich", then you have to go to work to put food on the table and also if you are interested in making a more permanant situation then she needs to know exactly what she is letting herself in for. If I had brought her here for 2 weeks then I would have taken leave from work and spent the entire time with her.

If you are suggesting that I brought her here just to tend to the housekeeping, then you are miles away from the reality....

Not exactly a holiday, staying at your place cleaning and preparing meals while you are out working, is it? I'd call it a "holiday" when I travel with my partner/gf/sweetheart or what ever ( definately a woman rather than a girl, though) and we're both idle and enjoying ourselves!

Perhaps you have a reading problem....try re reading my post then try to understand it....

You may have the resources to not work for 3 months so you can idle the time away with your partner....unfortunately there are a lot of us who cannot afford this luxury. A lot of the girls who come here with their bf's are doing so to experience what the real life is, so that they know what you are like in working mode and not the "good time" holiday mode....after all they have already seen that side of you.

When my girl (woman) was here...my mates sister and her husband were here for quite a while also...they also took her out and showed her a few things, her best time though was making lemon jam and lemon jam tarts with my mates sister. Not because she had to do it but because this is what she enjoys doing and I guess because she was learning something and interacting with someone who lives here. My girl is a hard worker around the house even in Thailand....she does it because she gets satisfaction from it for herself....some women pick up a paintbrush and paint a picture...she picks up a broom and starts to sweep...they both gain a degree of satisfaction from their actions.

My mates girl (woman) was here for 10 days about a year ago and she had your sort of holiday....but you know what???...she said to me that she longed to stay longer so she could show him that she could keep house for him, do his washing and cleaning etc....she wanted to show him that she could be a good wife...And you know what????....I could not find fault with that because it was what she wanted to do.