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Bar Girl Allegedly ‘added Injury To Insult’


george

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well when all is said and done one must realize the type of person they are dealing with - this usually means dealing with people in a sober state - wake up people, never get involved with a bar girl period. Bar girls are in the bars for a reason, and honestly is NOT one of those reasons folks - wake the hel_l UP!

On the other side of the coin, there are many many MANY FINE BEAUTIFUL KIND SEXY and GOOD thai women that are not in bars but are available to meet and greet and have 'good' fun and relations with.

These are the ones to know,

:D

^^

A lot of folks have read this bit wrong... I think what he's trying to say is that massage parlours, not bars, are the best venues for meeting your future wife in Thailand.

:o

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well when all is said and done one must realize the type of person they are dealing with - this usually means dealing with people in a sober state - wake up people, never get involved with a bar girl period. Bar girls are in the bars for a reason, and honestly is NOT one of those reasons folks - wake the hel_l UP!

On the other side of the coin, there are many many MANY FINE BEAUTIFUL KIND SEXY and GOOD thai women that are not in bars but are available to meet and greet and have 'good' fun and relations with.

These are the ones to know,

:D

How true 'ssscud'

Remember also, we are but guests in another country. Do you see many Thai men frequent these bars? Perhaps they know something we don't.

Hope the Swede recovers his pride and looks elsewhere.

No,because they are at their own 'special' bars, where both the grog and women are cheaper. :o

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well when all is said and done one must realize the type of person they are dealing with - this usually means dealing with people in a sober state - wake up people, never get involved with a bar girl period. Bar girls are in the bars for a reason, and honestly is NOT one of those reasons folks - wake the hel_l UP!

On the other side of the coin, there are many many MANY FINE BEAUTIFUL KIND SEXY and GOOD thai women that are not in bars but are available to meet and greet and have 'good' fun and relations with.

These are the ones to know,

:D

How true 'ssscud'

Remember also, we are but guests in another country. Do you see many Thai men frequent these bars? Perhaps they know something we don't.

Hope the Swede recovers his pride and looks elsewhere.

No,because they are at their own 'special' bars, where both the grog and women are cheaper. :o

echo........ :D

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Let's take it a little easy on this poor guy. He is/has experienced enough pain and will be much wiser for his experience (and many, many people--including people who are posting here) have been in his shoes--minus the blood.

As for the bar girls, they aren't the best candidates for a wife. They live in a world in which people are either used or users--not a good place to learn or nuture any true depth of feelings. It doesn't make them bad people--it's just not an ideal place to find long-term happiness.

Best of luck to the poor guy.

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Strange how these topics bring out the "newbies" with under 10 posts :o  (and they all seem to know whats what regarding "bargirls" :D
Do not judge all girls working in bars

Read the above and learn.

You should know better than to assume newbie,s are not experienced on Thai culture as many will have been here a long time.

Also the fact that they do not have many post,s just may be because the negative comments like yours put them off adding there imput.

If they make a point that is sarcastic or making fun and being flippant of a serious situation then that is different.

Come on dave let,s encourage reasonable comments all members are entitled to offer, not look for negative observations that are O.T..

Some of the posts allowed without comment or censure are really sick ( speaking generally ), and not aimed at you personally.

I know people that will not join T. Visa because of this and we all loose because of this stuff.

marshbags :D:D:D

I couldn't agree more.

It never ceases to amaze me how many of the posts show that numerous people have preconceived ideas. The notion of being open minded will never occur to them.

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The mother of my son worked in a Bar in Koh Samui and now lives in Norway with my son and her Norwegian husband. I couldn't offer her what she deserved. She's one of the kindest, most honest people I've met in my 43 years of life.

How dare any of you categorise all girls who work in bars as untrustworthy low lifes. What does that make you? You're using their services aren't you?

You think life's hard at home? Go to some of the villages in Issan and then maybe you'll see things in a different light.

Another WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll second that.

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Do not judge all girls working in bars, maybe family send them to work because situation home. Not all of them choose by them self. We western people makes them be like her! Treat them nice and you got a lot back.   :D Me also swede but do not ask to much of their background.

:D My girl she pays when we go out and she is proud to be doing that! She also paid fine for motorbike because i treat her like a woman. But if she sees me sitting in a girly-bar i think she do like POM :o But then i dig my own grave.... Now we will soon be married to each other :D Even if she started in a bar! ฉันรักเธอ หน่อย

I hope her husband/boyfriend is invited to the wedding. I laugh at how many people say my bargirl is different ..heeheeheehee...sorry had to laugh again. Of course she pays now, the payoff at the end will be huge. Read "Private Dancer" by Stephen Leather (attached) before you marry her. I think the main female in the story's sister would interest you :D If you want to marry a Thai girl meet a decent working girl. Would you marry a whore at home???

**attachment deleted for copyright reasons**

From your comment I guess you have forgotten the ending to the Private Dancer story.

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It's true. Same old story. Here we see only one side of this story and as any of us know who have lived here for any period of time, things are not always what they seem. Sure, most would agree that bar girls generally speaking are not the most stable choice for any guy looking for the perfect bride (if there is such a thing) but what about these desperate, hopeless Farangs that fall in love, waste a girls time when she's simply just trying to earn a few baht and slober on her, (beacuse he's in love of course) when she's simply trying to enjoy her New Years with friends.

It's still funny to listen to these heart breaks from time to time I suppose.

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So sad to see people jumping on the "NEVER MARRY A BAR GIRL BLAH BLAH" bandwagon. These people are so narrow minded and probably missing a large proportion of their brain cells to drinking themselves stupid on their chosen 'plaza'. Would these people be the same in their own countries?? They find a girl working in a bar ( more often out of necessity than choice) spend time (one evening) wooing her (cheap whiskey and food) and then being the ultimate gentleman giving her 1000bht for the privelige of sex. Then heaven forbid, this girl has done this before and all hel_l breaks lose. I had a relationship with an oh so honest girl, not a bar girl, she was a raving lunatic and i couldnt wait to end it. Then i met an amazing woman who happened to work in a bar, fell in love, married and we now live in england with our son. A great book but PRIVATE DANCER has done a lot to harm the reputation of thai women in general. If you are so naive about life and love in thailand, save yourself the bother and go to Ibiza for your next hols, meet a nice spaniard and see if she is as pure as the driven snow. Bar workers are women (mostly) treat em with the respect they deserve and stop gobbing off about thai women until you have had them all!! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL.

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To the guys using this thread to bash BG's....Get off the girls cases...they are not all as described in THAT book....many a fine rose can be found amongst the weeds.

At the end of that book the girl was married, had a family and was living very happily in Oz.

You obviously didnt read the same book I read.......if I write a book then I hope the ending is just how you describe it.

your book would read something like.....I married a NBG and a NTG.....but I still paid 500k Dowry cos she has a uni degree and still you support her parents to the tune of 15000bht a month....but hey she loves you for you and you didnt buy a wife. Cos you didnt find her in a bar.....

But hey NO......you didnt pay a dowry or support her folks, you bought a big house somewhere and filled it with all mod cons, satellite TV, Hot and cold showers, big fence around the outside to keep your privacy....and it is all in your name .....but you did that because she loves you for you and not for what you can give her....

I see a new novel here.... :D:o

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well when all is said and done one must realize the type of person they are dealing with - this usually means dealing with people in a sober state - wake up people, never get involved with a bar girl period. Bar girls are in the bars for a reason, and honestly is NOT one of those reasons folks - wake the hel_l UP!

On the other side of the coin, there are many many MANY FINE BEAUTIFUL KIND SEXY and GOOD thai women that are not in bars but are available to meet and greet and have 'good' fun and relations with.

These are the ones to know,

:o

Yes my friend as long as you have plenty of Baht in yer pocket - I was naive now I'm less naive as Elvis once said.

is it just me or does this sound like a hard-luck farang story right here? me, i am bored of all of them, the amazing thing is just that some people never get it no matter how obvious. i mean yeah i am aware there are some layers to it that are all i am sure well explained in the plethora of bargirl books out there. read up or just one time visit a bar and open your eyes.

sorry for the swede, but man you are dumb as a brick and you had it coming. he's still alive and well so take it as a lesson learned the hard way. my sympathy is limited. not that i think highly of aggressive mrs poo, really...

Au contraire my only hard luck story is I saw a link to this in my inbox at 4.00am when I was pissed as a fart. As the guy from LA says its hardly news. I prefer to gain my experience in life by living not by what Trink or Stick or Leather or whoever says. I just remember there is good and bad in all walks of life.

Edited by BalthazarBeefheart
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The mother of my son worked in a Bar in Koh Samui and now lives in Norway with my son and her Norwegian husband. I couldn't offer her what she deserved. She's one of the kindest, most honest people I've met in my 43 years of life.

How dare any of you categorise all girls who work in bars as untrustworthy low lifes. What does that make you? You're using their services aren't you?

You think life's hard at home? Go to some of the villages in Issan and then maybe you'll see things in a different light.

Another WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll second that.

Well said, both of you...

I know many "bar girls" who are very nice people, and I know some of them have Thai or expat boyfriends or husbands (with whom I am freinds) and children - working in a bar does not mean the person is a low-life, nor does it automatically mean they are dishonest - they simply have a job that pays sufficient for their needs - and that is the basic reason ANYONE works.

A percentage of all people will prove to be bad, but this is across the spectrum, not limited to bars, nor to females.

My colleage some years ago decided to fire his secretary, and only when she had gone did we find out that she had set up a company credit card for herself using forged signatures, and had got away with quite a tidy sum in purchases...so some of the so-called "nice" gilrs are not all that it seems either!

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Do not judge all girls working in bars, maybe family send them to work because situation home. Not all of them choose by them self. We western people makes them be like her! Treat them nice and you got a lot back.   :o Me also swede but not ask to much of their background.

I do actually prefer parsnips to swedes - you've confirmed that with your diatribe - but thanks for the advice next time I rent a bargirl I won't ask too much of their background - oh dear.

well first post for me but made me smile, suppose the guy thought he was a big king pin being able to go what bar when he chose and what women he chose. UP THE THAIS! (from an english guy in case u wonder)

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"WELL SAID!!!! The fact is that most bar girls work there because they have to to survive, since they usually send 80+% of what they make back to their families.

And just one more quick point even that gas changed. Many of the girls now do not even send money home or smaller amounts of it. You may not believe this but I overhear their converstaions and talk with them and they are not as generous to the families as they once were....to many camera phones, nice clothes, makeup, and in many cases, boyfriends/husbands motorbike to pay off......hmmmm....good enough reason to work in a bar.

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And let's not forget the MILLIONS of Thai gals who choose not to work in bars to "support their families," and so forth (and whatever other romantic reasons the punters here like to give in support of bargirls..... saving the rainforest, developing Issan real estate, etc.), but instead choose to work in factories, as waitresses, and every other conceivable low paying job AND STILL manage to send money home (ever try going to the post office on the 1st of the month?).

:o

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And let's not forget the MILLIONS of Thai gals who choose not to work in bars to "support their families," and so forth (and whatever other romantic reasons the punters here like to give in support of bargirls..... saving the rainforest, developing Issan real estate, etc.), but instead choose to work in factories, as waitresses, and every other conceivable low paying job AND STILL manage to send money home (ever try going to the post office on the 1st of the month?).

:o

Heng,

You're right in some ways...but, I wager many of these MILLIONS of Thai gals who chose not to work in bars do "the same kind of work" on the side, just not in bars. Seen it a lot myself.

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And let's not forget the MILLIONS of Thai gals who choose not to work in bars to "support their families," and so forth (and whatever other romantic reasons the punters here like to give in support of bargirls..... saving the rainforest, developing Issan real estate, etc.), but instead choose to work in factories, as waitresses, and every other conceivable low paying job AND STILL manage to send money home (ever try going to the post office on the 1st of the month?).

:o

Heng,

You're right in some ways...but, I wager many of these MILLIONS of Thai gals who chose not to work in bars do "the same kind of work" on the side, just not in bars. Seen it a lot myself.

I've seen it a lot myself as well. They are no different than the professionals. I wouldn't include them in the group that aren't prostitutes.

:D

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And let's not forget the MILLIONS of Thai gals who choose not to work in bars to "support their families," and so forth (and whatever other romantic reasons the punters here like to give in support of bargirls..... saving the rainforest, developing Issan real estate, etc.), but instead choose to work in factories, as waitresses, and every other conceivable low paying job AND STILL manage to send money home (ever try going to the post office on the 1st of the month?).

:o

Heng,

You're right in some ways...but, I wager many of these MILLIONS of Thai gals who chose not to work in bars do "the same kind of work" on the side, just not in bars. Seen it a lot myself.

I've seen it a lot myself as well. They are no different than the professionals. I wouldn't include them in the group that aren't prostitutes.

:D

Makes one wonder, just what percentage of Thai females are willing to "rent" thier bodies...especially since so many of them are so beautiful and sexy to most Farangs.

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And let's not forget the MILLIONS of Thai gals who choose not to work in bars to "support their families," and so forth (and whatever other romantic reasons the punters here like to give in support of bargirls..... saving the rainforest, developing Issan real estate, etc.), but instead choose to work in factories, as waitresses, and every other conceivable low paying job AND STILL manage to send money home (ever try going to the post office on the 1st of the month?).

:o

Heng,

You're right in some ways...but, I wager many of these MILLIONS of Thai gals who chose not to work in bars do "the same kind of work" on the side, just not in bars. Seen it a lot myself.

I've seen it a lot myself as well. They are no different than the professionals. I wouldn't include them in the group that aren't prostitutes.

:D

Makes one wonder, just what percentage of Thai females are willing to "rent" thier bodies...especially since so many of them are so beautiful and sexy to most Farangs.

I think a lot of farangs who marry bargirls like to wishfully extrapolate that most Thai gals are bargirls of some sort. It takes away (or so they think) from the stigma of selecting a prostitute as a life or temporary partner. But I don't mean that in a condescending way, by the way. Just feel that it unfairly paints Thai girls who aren't prostitutes of any sort.

:D

Edited by Heng
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And let's not forget the MILLIONS of Thai gals who choose not to work in bars to "support their families," and so forth (and whatever other romantic reasons the punters here like to give in support of bargirls..... saving the rainforest, developing Issan real estate, etc.), but instead choose to work in factories, as waitresses, and every other conceivable low paying job AND STILL manage to send money home (ever try going to the post office on the 1st of the month?).

:o

Heng,

You're right in some ways...but, I wager many of these MILLIONS of Thai gals who chose not to work in bars do "the same kind of work" on the side, just not in bars. Seen it a lot myself.

I've seen it a lot myself as well. They are no different than the professionals. I wouldn't include them in the group that aren't prostitutes.

:D

Makes one wonder, just what percentage of Thai females are willing to "rent" thier bodies...especially since so many of them are so beautiful and sexy to most Farangs.

I think a lot of farangs who marry bargirls like to wishfully extrapolate that most Thai gals are bargirls of some sort. It takes away (or so they think) from the stigma of selecting a prostitute as a life or temporary partner. But I don't mean that in a condescending way, by the way. Just feel that it unfairly paints Thai girls who aren't prostitutes of any sort.

:D

Could be, although I see no negative stigma of prostitutes...not the "Poo" kind of course, but the large population of them. Just working girls, like any other. I made the ealier comment mainly because almost every Thai woman I encounter, except the older married ones, seems to be "available" in various degrees, much the same as in the bars...just not as obvious or visible.

I would have no issue whatsoever with having a bar girl as a wife, just another job.

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And let's not forget the MILLIONS of Thai gals who choose not to work in bars to "support their families," and so forth (and whatever other romantic reasons the punters here like to give in support of bargirls..... saving the rainforest, developing Issan real estate, etc.), but instead choose to work in factories, as waitresses, and every other conceivable low paying job AND STILL manage to send money home (ever try going to the post office on the 1st of the month?).

:D

Why do you judge sex-work as being somehow less valuable than other, lower-paid forms of work? Why should women do lower-paid jobs when they can earn more? Does it matter what part of your body you use to make money? I think there is a lot of unthinking Victorian morality and double-standards emerging from prudish comments like this. :o

Heng,

You're right in some ways...but, I wager many of these MILLIONS of Thai gals who chose not to work in bars do "the same kind of work" on the side, just not in bars. Seen it a lot myself.

I've seen it a lot myself as well. They are no different than the professionals. I wouldn't include them in the group that aren't prostitutes.

:D

Makes one wonder, just what percentage of Thai females are willing to "rent" thier bodies...especially since so many of them are so beautiful and sexy to most Farangs.

I think a lot of farangs who marry bargirls like to wishfully extrapolate that most Thai gals are bargirls of some sort. It takes away (or so they think) from the stigma of selecting a prostitute as a life or temporary partner. But I don't mean that in a condescending way, by the way. Just feel that it unfairly paints Thai girls who aren't prostitutes of any sort.

:D

Could be, although I see no negative stigma of prostitutes...not the "Poo" kind of course, but the large population of them. Just working girls, like any other. I made the ealier comment mainly because almost every Thai woman I encounter, except the older married ones, seems to be "available" in various degrees, much the same as in the bars...just not as obvious or visible.

I would have no issue whatsoever with having a bar girl as a wife, just another job.

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Well, gang,

I thought I'd post before the thread gets shut down :D I still marvel at the fact he's

43. There's a line from an old Dylan song that's been running through my head: "Ah,

but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now".. :D

I'm 55 and married to a former BG, freely admitted, now for 6 years. Back in my 20's

I used to say "asian women exist so dumb, ugly, white boys can still get married." It's funny how things have a way of coming around and biting you in the as*s. :o My comment back then was quite stupid and arrogant, and I apologize to any and all who might take offense.

I feel sorry for the Swede for not reading the "brochure" and not so sorry for the BG.

After all, if someone were to finance her becoming, umm, a hairdresser, do you think

she would? Maybe, but probably not. A good number of them are comfortable in their

own skin in what they do for a living. I was just lucky in finding one who wasn't...

Bill

I'm always amused by the way people's attitudes change through time. I'm 24 now, young I know. I am very in love with a girl who I have known for nearly 2 years now and only now are we starting to get together. She has a modest job in a market and has never once asked me for anything; is very reluctant to take anything even when I offer.

I am realistic and know that should anything ever go wrong I would probably eventually be resigned to the bar girl culture. But I prey that I will never blind myself to beleive that it will be "true love", and that I am the "one" farrang that any particular bar girl has been wating for to save her from her life of misery. I'll just been an old, broken hearted man looking for some easy company. And if you see me post on this board in another 30-40 years saying anything different then give me a slap!

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Coming from the USA I am amazed at the number of folks who consider Thailand a "violent" country. Try living in a big city in the US, where you wouldn't even consider venturing after dark into certain neighborhoods for fear of your life. Try driving on the roads in L.A. where if you cut someone off in traffic there could be a bullet with your name on it. Try going out into the bar scene where an ill considered comment to a drunken fellow patron will virtually guarantee a fistfight at least, and a knifing or gunplay on occasion.

I have to say that I feel safer in Thailand than I do back in England. Maybe that's misguided... however from my experiances so long as you respect the culture, speak the language, and be cautios of people who speak excellent English without having had a good education then you should be fairly safe. All the Thai's I have met have been very happy to have a joke and a laugh, even if it's at their expense, so long as you aren't loud and agressive about it.

Still.... maybe there'll be a post in years to come about how I got stabbed by a Thai girl... I'm not going to spend my whole life worrying about it. At least I will have stabbed in a beautiful warm country with great people and gorgeous food, rather than in the freezing cold English winter by some druggie because I gave him a "funny look"

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:o:D

Coming from the USA I am amazed at the number of folks who consider Thailand a "violent" country. Try living in a big city in the US, where you wouldn't even consider venturing after dark into certain neighborhoods for fear of your life. Try driving on the roads in L.A. where if you cut someone off in traffic there could be a bullet with your name on it. Try going out into the bar scene where an ill considered comment to a drunken fellow patron will virtually guarantee a fistfight at least, and a knifing or gunplay on occasion.

I have to say that I feel safer in Thailand than I do back in England. Maybe that's misguided... however from my experiances so long as you respect the culture, speak the language, and be cautios of people who speak excellent English without having had a good education then you should be fairly safe. All the Thai's I have met have been very happy to have a joke and a laugh, even if it's at their expense, so long as you aren't loud and agressive about it.

Still.... maybe there'll be a post in years to come about how I got stabbed by a Thai girl... I'm not going to spend my whole life worrying about it. At least I will have stabbed in a beautiful warm country with great people and gorgeous food, rather than in the freezing cold English winter by some druggie because I gave him a "funny look"

Some sense at last! Treat everyone as you would expect them to treat you, but don't take leave of your own cultural values. I have learnt much through the thoughts expressed by so many on this particular thread!

Laulen :D

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Perhaps the assumptions made about these ladies are comparable to assumptions made about people in various other professions as well? eg. Artists are sensitive, Lawyers are devious, Scientists are smart and serious, Accountants are quiet and conservative, Sales/Marketing people are confident and loud, etc.

Of course, there are quite a few extroverted accountants, and it's possible that some marketing professionals are a bit reserved, but it's also interesting to note that the accounting department corner of my office does have a much lower decibel level than the sales and marketing corner.. :o

However, as another analogy, note the presence of flamboyantly gay men in the advertising and entertainment industries is a common observation and accepted as fact. There must be some reason for this (their natural creativity? this profession best suited to their lifestyle/liking?) But would you say that all people in the industry are gay men? Would you say that the majority of people in the industry are gay men? And would you say that all gay men on the planet are employed only in the advertising and entertainment industries? :D

Compare that to the assumptions made about bgs & Thai ladies in general..

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never get involved with a bar girl period.

Generally good advice I'd say. If you do at least be realistic about what what you're getting involved in. I don't buy the prevailing notion here that most bar girls are rotten to the core (though plenty are), or that they are prone to violence (small minority). The heavy drinkers seem to be the really crazy ones (what a suprize, goes with the guys too) Bar girls are fine if you want to have a kept women for a while.

Bar girls are in the bars for a reason, and honestly is NOT one of those reasons folks - wake the hel_l UP!

Biggest reason: Single motherhood with no decent means of support. This poo may or may not have had a husbund. If so, fantastic odds he's an alcoholic deadbeat, and poo would love to ditch him but is not in a position to.

This is not in itself a cause of lying. I belive bar girls are reasonably honest with me, but then I don't come off as a sucker who's going fall in love with them, or go back to my country and send them money. Maybe speaking fluent thai helps too. As far as I know, I have never had a girl lie to me about having a child (most do). IMO the guys that get lied to are the guys that lie to themselves about who these girls are, and want to be lied to, in some way, by the girls.

If it's not single motherhood, it's family debt, often at usurious interest rates, or they enjoy the bar girl-lifestyle (partying & lots of $) The later two are more likely to be really rotten IMO.

But they all become bar girls looking for a meal-ticket, and that's most likeley what you will remain for the duration of your relationship with a bar-girl.

I agree but there are a few newbies working in bars and if you are lucky to find one there is no problem... However who know :o

Yeah right everyone i asked , they said they were new . hahahahah . thats funny . i had one honest girl when i was in thailand , she said that she wanted to save money to make a better life for herself and this is the fastest way to do it . she said that was not looking for someone to change her life and was going to do it her self . She wanted to open a travel service or internet shop . She was so honest with me i started to like her and asked her to leave

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Do not judge all girls working in bars, maybe family send them to work because situation home. Not all of them choose by them self. We western people makes them be like her! Treat them nice and you got a lot back.   :D Me also swede but do not ask to much of their background.

:D My girl she pays when we go out and she is proud to be doing that! She also paid fine for motorbike because i treat her like a woman. But if she sees me sitting in a girly-bar i think she do like POM :o But then i dig my own grave.... Now we will soon be married to each other :D Even if she started in a bar! ฉันรักเธอ หน่อย

I hope her husband/boyfriend is invited to the wedding. I laugh at how many people say my bargirl is different ..heeheeheehee...sorry had to laugh again. Of course she pays now, the payoff at the end will be huge. Read "Private Dancer" by Stephen Leather (attached) before you marry her. I think the main female in the story's sister would interest you :D If you want to marry a Thai girl meet a decent working girl. Would you marry a whore at home???

**attachment deleted for copyright reasons**

From your comment I guess you have forgotten the ending to the Private Dancer story.

Thanks to whomever finally managed to get the "Private Dancer" attached. Very interesting story, and certainly very culturally accuate (IMHO), and probably accurate for this girl as well (Joy). Interesting that Pete accepted that she regularly had sex with strangers, but flipped out when he thought she was doing same with the Thai guy (presumably her bf, not a customer) in her apartment.

Also interesting is that she was only 20, and the story referenced many even younger. I haven't run into many in this age bracket, usually in the 28+ range, so perhaps I'm luckier??

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