Do You Ask About Your Wife’S/Girlfriend'S Past Relationships And What She Done Before You Met?

[brit1984]

Helping poor people by making a financial donation or volunteering your time to help is noble.

Expecting sexual favours in return for doing either of these is disrespectful and distasteful.

I don't agree it's disrespectful.

I hope the edit I made to my post makes my point clearer.

To prey on disadvantaged people for personal gratification is disrespectful.

It shows a lack of respect for them as human-beings (and for yourself).

Are you talking about Isaan sharp shooters or gullible foreigners?

I am talking about seemingly sophisticated men targeting unsophisticated girls for sex.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

The key is whether these (young, uneducated, poverty-stricken and seemingly desperate) girls, that you specifically target, are mature enough, sophisticated, and adequately mentally stable to make informed decisions about important life decisions, such as starting a sexual relationship.

The life decisions they're making, whether by some arbitrary judge mature etc enough to do so or not are theirs to make, but also very much a collective decision with their family, many of whom have a lot of life experience, with several members usually having worked in the sex industry.

... and to stay (almost) on-topic, I hope you also explain to them that (as with the many other girls with whom you have shared a bed in the past) you view them simply as more raw material that will pass along the conveyor belt through the BJB factory of life (with some necessary bumps and grinds on the way) to be packaged up and shipped off to the market.

I really don't see the need for such purposefully crude and negative terminology, but, certainly no implication that we're engaging in any kind of "romantic" relationship. In fact most of them are quite keen to move on to the rest of their lives pretty quickly and have to be reminded just how long it takes to get up to a decent level of English.

What you ARE doing is deliberately seeking out dirt poor girls - perhaps with kids - and using the promise of financial reward to induce them to part their legs for money so you can enjoy yourself with someone who is, as yet, untouched by foreign loins.

If she hasn't done that before, you're complicit in driving her to prostitution. It's the sexual equivalent of giving someone their first line of cocaine. Some will hate it and never try it again but some of them will love it enough to go get a fix elsewhere.

How do you know that girls you've "broken in" haven't rocked up in Nana or Cowboy or are, right now, aren't standing on Sukhumvit turning tricks?

I don't know why you think foreign loins are somehow different than Thai ones, there isn't any "breaking in" going on here other than the language and cultural learning, it's not as if their experiences with Thai males has been romantic and pure, as opposed to us dirty old farang.

And it's not me that's "driving" anyone toward prostitution, 90% of these girls are on track to heading for Pattaya or Bangkok into actual prostitution, and in fact in the early days I used to try to recruit ones that had already started, just hoping that catching them early enough in the process would be enough, and found it wasn't, even just a week or two in the explicit p4p scene and as they say most of the time you can't get the bar out of the girl.

My program is very much targeted toward showing them that they don't need to get into the sex industry in order to better their lives, and several of them are doing so without even becoming mia farang at least for now.

It's true some of them either within themselves or via pressure from their families do end up wanting to maximize their cash income short-term rather than holding out for the more mainstream-respectable path I advocate, but at least when they do so they know how to target the high end of the market and do get maximum rates for minimum risk, much lower number of partners etc.

And as soon as they do decide to take that route, they're out on their own, I don't want them around setting a bad example giving the more idealistic girls bad habits or ideas.

I do everything I can to improve the odds for them that's all, I can't control what they actually end up doing in the end, but so far most of the time they seem to end up OK, at least better off than if they hadn't known me. But I'm honest and don't claim that's my primary goal here, it's just a side effect, but IMO better than just offering money and walking away.

BTW one of my girls just got a 6.0 on her IELTS, is in the process of applying to uni in Australia, hopes to get into RMIT. She hasn't lived with me for two years now, but both she and her sponsor keep in regular touch, as do most of them, and so far no one's implied any regrets or resentment even now that they are older and more worldly.

[Pormax]

My wife and I have no secrets. We both talk about the past. It is a way of getting to know each other.

I think it is natural if you each want to know more about each other.

If either one does not wantto talk is there something to hide!!

[2unique]

How can you respect someone you don't know deserves it, respect has to be earned.

A more positive way to live your life would be to respect everyone unless they earn disrespect.

Only if you're an idiot. That would totally devalue respect.

Why not call everyone heroic until they give you cause to doubt their heroism.

Or assume everyone is caring and generous .....................

I think we're talking respectfully rather than with respect (reverence) as in basic human courtesy.

Helping to un-split hairs rather than make any judgement. Thanks

Sent from Android, please excuse errors in type or judgement.

[edwinclapham]

Look, doing what you crusty old dinosaurs do is one thing but to crow and brag about it on a forum like TV is just plain crass. There must be other forums on the internet where perverts and depraved fossils in Thailand can discuss ways in which one can take sexual advantage of the poor, desperate girls in the countryside for the equivalent of a 20 note.

And, before TP chimes in with the "we'll see how you get your rocks off when you're our age" chestnut, let me just say this; I doubt I'll ever be depraved enough to have sex with a girl 40 or 50 years my junior while she's doing her best not to vomit in disgust at my fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted carcass writhing all over her.

Why are White Knights always so angry and bitter?

Lack of joyful experiences with attractive women.

I'm not riding to anyone's rescue, chief. I just think that too many guys on here try to justify what they do by dressing it up as "helping".

If you want to help someone, then help them; don't make it dependent upon a shag.

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Thaivisa Connect App

Its amazing how you can get such a valid point over in a few words HS.

My sentiments entirely.

Gross, gross, gross comes to mind reading some of the BS some people spout! They should be deeply ashamed.

[2unique]

I was about to make an analogy with the new batman movie but suddenly something came over me and halted my freedom of speech...

If it was a "fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted farang"... I hope he paid well

Sent from Android, please excuse errors in type or judgement.

[2unique]

Look, doing what you crusty old dinosaurs do is one thing but to crow and brag about it on a forum like TV is just plain crass. There must be other forums on the internet where perverts and depraved fossils in Thailand can discuss ways in which one can take sexual advantage of the poor, desperate girls in the countryside for the equivalent of a 20 note.

And, before TP chimes in with the "we'll see how you get your rocks off when you're our age" chestnut, let me just say this; I doubt I'll ever be depraved enough to have sex with a girl 40 or 50 years my junior while she's doing her best not to vomit in disgust at my fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted carcass writhing all over her.

Why are White Knights always so angry and bitter?

Lack of joyful experiences with attractive women.

I'm not riding to anyone's rescue, chief. I just think that too many guys on here try to justify what they do by dressing it up as "helping".

If you want to help someone, then help them; don't make it dependent upon a shag.

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Thaivisa Connect App

Its amazing how you can get such a valid point over in a few words HS.

My sentiments entirely.

Gross, gross, gross comes to mind reading some of the BS some people spout! They should be deeply ashamed.

I must confess I feel more sorrow for the situation where guys who are preying on the naivety of office/shop girls who are struggling to pay their bills and educate their child by shagging them on the pretense of a love and happiness filled future together.

Sex as a business transaction, eyes wide open may be a choice between a cage and a gold plated cage but it is still a choice. Is it reprehensible and disgusting on an average Thai-centric moral compass this victim targeting? Well it's not something I would do in this instance (nor would I like to own a bar that provided women for prostitution) but I've worked in sales and marketing so have been victim targeting for many years actively taking money from those that didn't need my company's products whether they could afford it or not.

That given I'm not able to comfortably say this is as black and white as some posts would suggest. Prima Facie, I'm more dark grey but open to a more educated opinion from reading on and perhaps backtracking through older posts.

Skillful manipulators do share some traits/characteristics of psychopaths though don't they >_>

Sent from Android, please excuse errors in type or judgement.

[kerryk]

You may call it abuse but while not in the majority what I described above is certainly common in Thailand and not classified as abuse among Thai people. I really don't think you have the skills or experience to prescribe the correct course of action in a country you are obviously not too familiar with. Better wait till you know a little more about Thailand and Thai people before acting like a Thai social worker. It is not the same as where you came from. I know you want to think it is but it is not. What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work.

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work. It is also obvious you don't have much experience. The world is not British anymore. India is it's own country now. The laws all over the world are not British anymore. What you think of as abuse will not get you a hearing in a Thai court or Thai police station, heck even the ladies at the local 7/11 won't even bat an eye about it. It's normal here. Which is a really good reason for a Thai woman never to tell a Farang especially a newby like you anything about Thailand let alone about her personal experience. Let me tell you this way, I told a good Thai good that a bad Thai girl stole money from me. The good girl said, "maybe she needed the money for her family." Get it? Even good Thai girls don't think stealing is wrong. British people always think stealing is wrong. See what I'm trying to say?

[kerryk]

How did we get from a discussion about 'respect' to 'distrust and 7 million people not like my ex-wife'?

Have you been drinking again?

I think the point he's making is that your experiences with your ex-wife seem to have twisted your attitude and approach to women or, perhaps, simply amplified them - who knows?

I'm sure there are guys out here who've had as hard a time with marriages/divorces back home but some have managed to draw a line under those experiences. They are open-minded enough to treat people with the fundamental respect they deserve simply for being human.

Look, doing what you crusty old dinosaurs do is one thing but to crow and brag about it on a forum like TV is just plain crass. There must be other forums on the internet where perverts and depraved fossils in Thailand can discuss ways in which one can take sexual advantage of the poor, desperate girls in the countryside for the equivalent of a £20 note.

And, before TP chimes in with the "we'll see how you get your rocks off when you're our age" chestnut, let me just say this; I doubt I'll ever be depraved enough to have sex with a girl 40 or 50 years my junior while she's doing her best not to vomit in disgust at my fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted carcass writhing all over her.

It is better to know what you are talking about before you go spouting off. Contrary to your opinions there are women in the world who don't want charity. They would rather work for cash than get a hand out. It has something to do with pride. I got here an almost illiterate country bumpkin at 22 with no advanced degrees and no experience. Pretty much like you. Now 40 plus years later, educated and experienced I am ready for and enjoying the Thai experience immensely. I have had my family in the West to include children and grandchildren and am not in the least bothered by your snide aspersions about sex and my age.You are an angry young man with a potty mouth. Not a good combination for making friends. Instead of insulting old guys you should be figuring out how to ingratiate yourself with them. They run things both in the West and Thailand. They get the prettiest girls and the best seats at the football games. Sounds like maybe you have figured that out and it bothers you. I don't think you should really ask about your wife or girlfriends past behavior. My God she might have slept with a man older than you! Heavens to Betsy.

[TommoPhysicist]

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

Interesting post!

New to Thailand but have a Thai wife ............. Hmmmmmm, hope you didn't take advantage of a poor native girl.

You like to tell Thai friends and family how to behave despite their culture being different ......... weren't you talking about respect earlier.

[maxme]

You may call it abuse but while not in the majority what I described above is certainly common in Thailand and not classified as abuse among Thai people. I really don't think you have the skills or experience to prescribe the correct course of action in a country you are obviously not too familiar with. Better wait till you know a little more about Thailand and Thai people before acting like a Thai social worker. It is not the same as where you came from. I know you want to think it is but it is not. What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work.

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work. It is also obvious you don't have much experience. The world is not British anymore. India is it's own country now. The laws all over the world are not British anymore. What you think of as abuse will not get you a hearing in a Thai court or Thai police station, heck even the ladies at the local 7/11 won't even bat an eye about it. It's normal here. Which is a really good reason for a Thai woman never to tell a Farang especially a newby like you anything about Thailand let alone about her personal experience. Let me tell you this way, I told a good Thai good that a bad Thai girl stole money from me. The good girl said, "maybe she needed the money for her family." Get it? Even good Thai girls don't think stealing is wrong. British people always think stealing is wrong. See what I'm trying to say?

I can see you buy your own selling point. Of course they realize it's wrong but that depends who are you are asking... A rural, unedcuated village girl or an openminded educated girl.

Perhaps if you came off your rice paddy every now and then, you would see that Thailand isn't what you want it to be... A country full off potential marks.

[arthurwait]

You may call it abuse but while not in the majority what I described above is certainly common in Thailand and not classified as abuse among Thai people. I really don't think you have the skills or experience to prescribe the correct course of action in a country you are obviously not too familiar with. Better wait till you know a little more about Thailand and Thai people before acting like a Thai social worker. It is not the same as where you came from. I know you want to think it is but it is not. What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work.

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work. It is also obvious you don't have much experience. The world is not British anymore. India is it's own country now. The laws all over the world are not British anymore. What you think of as abuse will not get you a hearing in a Thai court or Thai police station, heck even the ladies at the local 7/11 won't even bat an eye about it. It's normal here. Which is a really good reason for a Thai woman never to tell a Farang especially a newby like you anything about Thailand let alone about her personal experience. Let me tell you this way, I told a good Thai good that a bad Thai girl stole money from me. The good girl said, "maybe she needed the money for her family." Get it? Even good Thai girls don't think stealing is wrong. British people always think stealing is wrong. See what I'm trying to say?

Most Thai people think stealing is wrong.

School kids stealing from the shop here, the bus drivers had already reported it to the school they go to before my wife had a chance to do anything about it. Do you really think they don't think stealing is wrong ?

Coach drivers assistant stole 13000 Baht out the shop here last week after the police turned up he pretended he found it and returned it. His coach driver sacked him and the other coach drivers made sure he left and told him not to come back. Do you think they don't think stealing is wrong ?

One coach driver had the fuel syphoned out his tank repeatedly, all of them were working together to try and find a way to find out who it was. The police caught the thieves. 4 pick ups of police came storming in at night who had been watching them and caught them red handed chasing them across the place. Again do you think they don't think stealing is wrong ?

You're good Thai girl didn't care about the stealing from you because she doesn't like you and can't be bothered wasting her time helping someone out who asks for it by hanging around with girls like you do and to be honest I don't believe any good Thai girls hang around with old men who buy women 50 years younger than them. Certainly none I know would have any respect for you or be bothered to help you out. They think stealing is wrong they just wouldn't like someone like you.

[maxme]

I was about to make an analogy with the new batman movie but suddenly something came over me and halted my freedom of speech...

If it was a "fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted farang"... I hope he paid well

Sent from Android, please excuse errors in type or judgement.

No, I was thinking more along the line ... "Dark Knight Rises"

[kerryk]

You may call it abuse but while not in the majority what I described above is certainly common in Thailand and not classified as abuse among Thai people. I really don't think you have the skills or experience to prescribe the correct course of action in a country you are obviously not too familiar with. Better wait till you know a little more about Thailand and Thai people before acting like a Thai social worker. It is not the same as where you came from. I know you want to think it is but it is not. What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work.

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work. It is also obvious you don't have much experience. The world is not British anymore. India is it's own country now. The laws all over the world are not British anymore. What you think of as abuse will not get you a hearing in a Thai court or Thai police station, heck even the ladies at the local 7/11 won't even bat an eye about it. It's normal here. Which is a really good reason for a Thai woman never to tell a Farang especially a newby like you anything about Thailand let alone about her personal experience. Let me tell you this way, I told a good Thai good that a bad Thai girl stole money from me. The good girl said, "maybe she needed the money for her family." Get it? Even good Thai girls don't think stealing is wrong. British people always think stealing is wrong. See what I'm trying to say?

Most Thai people think stealing is wrong.

School kids stealing from the shop here, the bus drivers had already reported it to the school they go to before my wife had a chance to do anything about it. Do you really think they don't think stealing is wrong ?

Coach drivers assistant stole 13000 Baht out the shop here last week after the police turned up he pretended he found it and returned it. His coach driver sacked him and the other coach drivers made sure he left and told him not to come back. Do you think they don't think stealing is wrong ?

One coach driver had the fuel syphoned out his tank repeatedly, all of them were working together to try and find a way to find out who it was. The police caught the thieves. 4 pick ups of police came storming in at night who had been watching them and caught them red handed chasing them across the place. Again do you think they don't think stealing is wrong ?

You're good Thai girl didn't care about the stealing from you because she doesn't like you and can't be bothered wasting her time helping someone out who asks for it by hanging around with girls like you do and to be honest I don't believe any good Thai girls hang around with old men who buy women 50 years younger than them. Certainly none I know would have any respect for you or be bothered to help you out. They think stealing is wrong they just wouldn't like someone like you.

Interesting you should mention that Arthur, did you know that Thai children siphoned gas out of the Japanese trucks during WWII. In one of the few conflicts between Japanese and Thai people during the war. The Japanese soldiers made the Thai children drink the gas until they died. I always interpreted that as the Japanese soldiers thought stealing gas was wrong and the Thai children didn't. Now I know it was because the Japanese soldiers were old and fat.

[kerryk]

You may call it abuse but while not in the majority what I described above is certainly common in Thailand and not classified as abuse among Thai people. I really don't think you have the skills or experience to prescribe the correct course of action in a country you are obviously not too familiar with. Better wait till you know a little more about Thailand and Thai people before acting like a Thai social worker. It is not the same as where you came from. I know you want to think it is but it is not. What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work.

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

What you are experiencing is ethnocentrism. You are evaluating another culture by the values and morals of your own. It does not work. It is also obvious you don't have much experience. The world is not British anymore. India is it's own country now. The laws all over the world are not British anymore. What you think of as abuse will not get you a hearing in a Thai court or Thai police station, heck even the ladies at the local 7/11 won't even bat an eye about it. It's normal here. Which is a really good reason for a Thai woman never to tell a Farang especially a newby like you anything about Thailand let alone about her personal experience. Let me tell you this way, I told a good Thai good that a bad Thai girl stole money from me. The good girl said, "maybe she needed the money for her family." Get it? Even good Thai girls don't think stealing is wrong. British people always think stealing is wrong. See what I'm trying to say?

I can see you buy your own selling point. Of course they realize it's wrong but that depends who are you are asking... A rural, unedcuated village girl or an openminded educated girl.

Perhaps if you came off your rice paddy every now and then, you would see that Thailand isn't what you want it to be... A country full off potential marks.

Max you are missing the point. Thai culture and Thai women are not the same as Western culture and Western women. I first got here in 1968 and even in 1968 I didn't have a farm girl for a girlfriend. My first Thai girlfriend was a school teacher and she later got work in an American government office. I gave an example of stealing but it could just as well have been chili eating. Chili eating to the extent as my Thai friends do would kill me. And they wouldn't go to jail for my death. I'm just saying you all don't have a clue. Stick around 20 years or so. Play the field. Get to know the pitch. Then try bowling with the big bowlers. But for gosh sakes don't quiz what ever lady that shares your affections. She might have known me or her mother might have or God forbid both might have. It might have severe mental health consequences to you. Oh and the judgemental stuff about my girlfriends, not in good taste eh.

[samsiam]

Only that stealing the gas from them was wrong....while the Japs were killing and stealing left right and centre across the globe.

[Pseudolus]

How did we get from a discussion about 'respect' to 'distrust and 7 million people not like my ex-wife'?

Have you been drinking again?

I think the point he's making is that your experiences with your ex-wife seem to have twisted your attitude and approach to women or, perhaps, simply amplified them - who knows?

I'm sure there are guys out here who've had as hard a time with marriages/divorces back home but some have managed to draw a line under those experiences. They are open-minded enough to treat people with the fundamental respect they deserve simply for being human.

Look, doing what you crusty old dinosaurs do is one thing but to crow and brag about it on a forum like TV is just plain crass. There must be other forums on the internet where perverts and depraved fossils in Thailand can discuss ways in which one can take sexual advantage of the poor, desperate girls in the countryside for the equivalent of a £20 note.

And, before TP chimes in with the "we'll see how you get your rocks off when you're our age" chestnut, let me just say this; I doubt I'll ever be depraved enough to have sex with a girl 40 or 50 years my junior while she's doing her best not to vomit in disgust at my fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted carcass writhing all over her.

It is better to know what you are talking about before you go spouting off. Contrary to your opinions there are women in the world who don't want charity. They would rather work for cash than get a hand out. It has something to do with pride. I got here an almost illiterate country bumpkin at 22 with no advanced degrees and no experience. Pretty much like you. Now 40 plus years later, educated and experienced I am ready for and enjoying the Thai experience immensely. I have had my family in the West to include children and grandchildren and am not in the least bothered by your snide aspersions about sex and my age.You are an angry young man with a potty mouth. Not a good combination for making friends. Instead of insulting old guys you should be figuring out how to ingratiate yourself with them. They run things both in the West and Thailand. They get the prettiest girls and the best seats at the football games. Sounds like maybe you have figured that out and it bothers you. I don't think you should really ask about your wife or girlfriends past behavior. My God she might have slept with a man older than you! Heavens to Betsy.

You might well point out that this is not a Thai Girl and Farang situation. I would guess that 1000 x more Young Thai girls do this with older Thai guys that they do with Farangs. Compensated dating is nothing new, and Farangs came late to the party. We might like to think we have the monopoly on it, but no chance. These D-Dek girls have 3 or 4 Thai chaps paying their bills and buying them handbags. They know the score, mostly that their giks are married. Some might take the chance with a Farang as they believe it might end in marriage. Most don't want to though. Not a poor girl phenomenon either. In a very materialistic society where extortion and nepotism is seen as the best way to get ahead, everyone wants the cash to crawl up the ladder a little more. A hottie dressed in rags will only attract a certain class of Thai guy. gets herself a few old Thai guy giks she is suddenly a hottie finely coiffured and therefore opening the door to a slightly higher class of Thai Guy to marry and watch as he gets himself a stable of young hotties to bone.

They all know the score. They have a choice. So do their BF's. I would guess that HardenedSoul fell in love with one of these ladies only to discover that she had a few other men supporting her.

[samsiam]

You know...some people just do not realise that things change....they are left behind......some never realised the right things in the first place.....or saw their world as the norm.....kinda like an alcoholic or grug addicted knockabout.

[kerryk]

How did we get from a discussion about 'respect' to 'distrust and 7 million people not like my ex-wife'?

Have you been drinking again?

I think the point he's making is that your experiences with your ex-wife seem to have twisted your attitude and approach to women or, perhaps, simply amplified them - who knows?

I'm sure there are guys out here who've had as hard a time with marriages/divorces back home but some have managed to draw a line under those experiences. They are open-minded enough to treat people with the fundamental respect they deserve simply for being human.

Look, doing what you crusty old dinosaurs do is one thing but to crow and brag about it on a forum like TV is just plain crass. There must be other forums on the internet where perverts and depraved fossils in Thailand can discuss ways in which one can take sexual advantage of the poor, desperate girls in the countryside for the equivalent of a £20 note.

And, before TP chimes in with the "we'll see how you get your rocks off when you're our age" chestnut, let me just say this; I doubt I'll ever be depraved enough to have sex with a girl 40 or 50 years my junior while she's doing her best not to vomit in disgust at my fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted carcass writhing all over her.

It is better to know what you are talking about before you go spouting off. Contrary to your opinions there are women in the world who don't want charity. They would rather work for cash than get a hand out. It has something to do with pride. I got here an almost illiterate country bumpkin at 22 with no advanced degrees and no experience. Pretty much like you. Now 40 plus years later, educated and experienced I am ready for and enjoying the Thai experience immensely. I have had my family in the West to include children and grandchildren and am not in the least bothered by your snide aspersions about sex and my age.You are an angry young man with a potty mouth. Not a good combination for making friends. Instead of insulting old guys you should be figuring out how to ingratiate yourself with them. They run things both in the West and Thailand. They get the prettiest girls and the best seats at the football games. Sounds like maybe you have figured that out and it bothers you. I don't think you should really ask about your wife or girlfriends past behavior. My God she might have slept with a man older than you! Heavens to Betsy.

You might well point out that this is not a Thai Girl and Farang situation. I would guess that 1000 x more Young Thai girls do this with older Thai guys that they do with Farangs. Compensated dating is nothing new, and Farangs came late to the party. We might like to think we have the monopoly on it, but no chance. These D-Dek girls have 3 or 4 Thai chaps paying their bills and buying them handbags. They know the score, mostly that their giks are married. Some might take the chance with a Farang as they believe it might end in marriage. Most don't want to though. Not a poor girl phenomenon either. In a very materialistic society where extortion and nepotism is seen as the best way to get ahead, everyone wants the cash to crawl up the ladder a little more. A hottie dressed in rags will only attract a certain class of Thai guy. gets herself a few old Thai guy giks she is suddenly a hottie finely coiffured and therefore opening the door to a slightly higher class of Thai Guy to marry and watch as he gets himself a stable of young hotties to bone.

They all know the score. They have a choice. So do their BF's. I would guess that HardenedSoul fell in love with one of these ladies only to discover that she had a few other men supporting her.

I really like Blues. Big Cynthia from "Eating ain't cheating."“You see I learned if you can give away your dog; I can sell my cat.” It's a great song. If someone does it in Thai they got a million seller.

[maxme]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

Edited June 21, 2012 by maxme

[kerryk]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

I don't know Max you don't seem to be doing very good at reading for an educated feller. I said in a previous post I didn't have a Thai farm girl in 1968 nor do I have one now. Are you obsessed with farm girls today? But you are right about knowing me. I don't know any pompous young people in Thailand. Most of my friends are engineers and not sales people. In the end Thais never distance themselves from their culture. A lot of countries have not realized this let alone young fellers who can't read very well. Not much has changed in Thailand about what you are talking about since 1400 or so the Portuguese traders wrote in their sailing logs. So I wouldn't bet on many changes soon. BTW my area is the East Coast of Thailand they call in little Detroit. No tourists but lots of industry. 100% full employment. The cute girls in the factory have a lottery for extra cash. You don't know about that right 555.

[maxme]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

I don't know Max you don't seem to be doing very good at reading for an educated feller. I said in a previous post I didn't have a Thai farm girl in 1968 nor do I have one now. Are you obsessed with farm girls today? But you are right about knowing me. I don't know any pompous young people in Thailand. Most of my friends are engineers and not sales people. In the end Thais never distance themselves from their culture. A lot of countries have not realized this let alone young fellers who can't read very well. Not much has changed in Thailand about what you are talking about since 1400 or so the Portuguese traders wrote in their sailing logs. So I wouldn't bet on many changes soon. BTW my area is the East Coast of Thailand they call in little Detroit. No tourists but lots of industry. 100% full employment. The cute girls in the factory have a lottery for extra cash. You don't know about that right 555.

Your dogmatic kind of view is thankfully only limited to a few here on TV.

You know what Kerry...? I think of you as the old automobile. You keep on going coz you have managed the milage so far. Nevermind that the reserve parts don't exist anymore, you haven't broken down yet so why should you do it later. Better stick to something that has worked so far. The problem is when you do break down and you eventually will, you will be left in the old car museum, just catching dust nothing else.

It may be a little harsh but guys like you are afraid that they won't be of any use anymore. Understanding, depressing and not productive as you could try to change your perspective by hanging around people that are not in your inner circle. Perhaps then, one day, things will clarify.

Then again you don't seem like that kind of person.

Edited June 21, 2012 by maxme

[brit1984]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

I don't know Max you don't seem to be doing very good at reading for an educated feller. I said in a previous post I didn't have a Thai farm girl in 1968 nor do I have one now. Are you obsessed with farm girls today? But you are right about knowing me. I don't know any pompous young people in Thailand. Most of my friends are engineers and not sales people. In the end Thais never distance themselves from their culture. A lot of countries have not realized this let alone young fellers who can't read very well. Not much has changed in Thailand about what you are talking about since 1400 or so the Portuguese traders wrote in their sailing logs. So I wouldn't bet on many changes soon. BTW my area is the East Coast of Thailand they call in little Detroit. No tourists but lots of industry. 100% full employment. The cute girls in the factory have a lottery for extra cash. You don't know about that right 555.

I am sorry to tell you Thailand is developing, changing and improving.

One day, everyone will wear a seatbelt in a car, or a helmet on a motorcycle.

One day, every Thai person will receive a decent education.

One day, people living in poverty will not be considered a fact of life.

One day, victims of abuse will not be seen as a symptom of Thai culture.

One day, sad old guys from the West will not be able to come to Thailand and hook up with desperate young native peasant girls.

I look forward to that day.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[brit1984]

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

Interesting post!

New to Thailand but have a Thai wife ............. Hmmmmmm, hope you didn't take advantage of a poor native girl.

You like to tell Thai friends and family how to behave despite their culture being different ......... weren't you talking about respect earlier.

What is disrespectful about trying to protect my Thai family and friends by suggesting they wear seat-belts?

Just because something is common practice, does not make it ok.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[maxme]

The story you describe is a story of abuse, regardless of which country it occurred.

While I am new to Thailand, and therefore unaware of whether such abuse is indeed a part of the culture, I do know that it is abuse and should not be accepted.

For the same reason, I often remind my Thai family and friends about the importance of wearing seating belts in cars, even though such views may be contrary to their "culture".

When we see Thai people in dire situations, or areas for improvement in Thai society, we should speak up and try to help.

We should not expect or demand to have sexual intercourse with such disadvantaged people in return.

Interesting post!

New to Thailand but have a Thai wife ............. Hmmmmmm, hope you didn't take advantage of a poor native girl.

You like to tell Thai friends and family how to behave despite their culture being different ......... weren't you talking about respect earlier.

What is disrespectful about trying to protect my Thai family and friends by suggesting they wear seat-belts?

Just because something is common practice, does not make it ok.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

Meh, what did you expect... he is part of Kerry's Old Farts R US gang...

[dingdang]

im not sure, that women seeking changing sexual partners do so, because they "love sex so much"...

in the rest of the world it has proven (psychiatrists etc), that they do so for self-confirmation...

perhaps, as western women dont change partners (or have multiple at the same time) much, they need a lot of "other" attention from their boyfriends, in order to get the "confirmation" and attendance... e.g. something as simple as flowers, some talking, going out together, romantic holidays etc etc...

as most of the guys dont like this, they prefer women who dont need it...

so you end up with one cheating at you at every chance...

your choice...

Edited June 21, 2012 by dingdang

[GreenSnapper]

One day, sad old guys from the West will not be able to come to Thailand and hook up with desperate young native peasant girls.

I look forward to that day.

On that day, you may be old enough to realize how female brains work.

And on that day, you may realize how much of a joyful life was lost due to your anger and hatred.

And on that day, nothing will have changed regarding human nature.

I hope for you, it won't take that long.

[maxme]

im not sure, that women seeking changing sexual partners do so, because they "love sex so much"...

in the rest of the world it has proven (psychiatrists etc), that they do so for self-confirmation...

perhaps, as western women dont change partners (or have multiple at the same time) much, they need a lot of "other" attention from their boyfriends, in order to get the "confirmation" and attendance... e.g. that simple as some flowers, some talking, going out together, romantic holidays etc etc...

as most of the guys dont like this, they prefer women who dont need it...

so you end up with one cheating at you at every chance...

your choice...

Sorry, I missed the conclusion...

[dingdang]

you can either have

a ) partnership, where the person is of most importance, a soul mate

b ) some relationship build on purpose...

and thats possibly what the OP meant, when he said they never came really close...

he seems in b )

most men prefer a b.)-relationship...

an a) one, you possibly wont find here...

Edited June 21, 2012 by dingdang

[edwinclapham]

One day, sad old guys from the West will not be able to come to Thailand and hook up with desperate young native peasant girls.

I look forward to that day.

On that day, you may be old enough to realize how female brains work.

And on that day, you may realize how much of a joyful life was lost due to your anger and hatred.

And on that day, nothing will have changed regarding human nature.

I hope for you, it won't take that long.

I actually thought what Brit 1984 posted made a lot of sense, his wishes were general, and you in turn made it into rather a patronising personal post.