Please Help

[tuky]

Story so far...

Married in 2002, two kids.

3 Houses.

AUD1 million in assets in the Thai wife name.

2007 wife is lonely starts smoking ice.

Stops coming home. Contracts STD.

2008, husband cannot live like this any more so he leaves.

2012 Husband can no longer put up with the abuse, the threats and the "**** ***" that comes from the Thai wife, even after 4 years of separation.

Husband has a new wife according to Muslim law.

Husband has a new child, a little girl. Who is now nearly 3 years old.

What can the husband do?

Husband lives in Australia at the moment.

How the hell do I get rid of this woman? Are there any West Aussies here who can point me in the right direction? I need a good lawyer who can help me.

I would love to keep my Thai kids, I know how that sounds...but what can I do?

Does anyone know a lawyer in Perth who can help me?

At the very least I want to make the divorce final, at the moment I am still legally married to this thing. Without going to Thailand and the amphur, and after 4 years of separation how do I get her out of my hair?

I Dont know what to do, and it haunts my every day.

This is a sample of the emails I receive all the time.......These 3 came in the period of 1 day. I NEVER send her an email, remember we have been separated for over 4 years. So these are not replies to any email I sent her.

They are in reverse order. The last email is first chronologicaly. ( or the other way around.

How do I get rid of this?

I need a lawyer who can help me divorce her, yet can help me take custody of my kids.

It has been over 4 years since I have even seen her for god sake

Anyone have any ideas?

please PM

[tuky]

Ok, There were some F you emails too, either I f'd up or a mod deleted it I am not sure.

[NomadJoe]

Why do you allow her to contact you? Change email and phone number. Problem solved.

[tuky]

Thanks lite beer.

Sorry I over stepped the bounds. But I only posted what came to me in one day...

Who wants the see what I get every week for the last 4 years? What lite beer deleted is only a 1 day sample.

[tuky]

Why do you allow her to contact you? Change email and phone number. Problem solved.

We have 2 kids...ignoring her would be like ignoring the fact that I have 2 kids. My Parents say forget them.

How can a guy ever forget he has children? I love them. Yet i cannot see them.

[tuky]

I have been drinking, 4 years of hope has surfaced tonight.

I hope I can go on, I hope I can go on without this woman, I hope I can go on with a relationship with my Thai kids.

I am a hopeful man...

[tuky]

I would love to Have my kids.

Everyday I dread what will become o them.

[samsiam]

I know a lawyer in Bkk...he is what you might call a bit bulldoggish for a thai.

No idea if he could help....but you could make contact.

He speaks very good english and you could simply ask for advice in first email and then a idea of cost and outcome etc to see if suitable to you.

He works from home, no high priced office etc.

[samsiam]

He could also perhaps be able to get in touch with kids so you can keep contact with them individually perhaps...maybe.

[SteveLynch]

Chin up man the booze ain't helping you one bit ,get a clear head and seek legal advice from a lawyer who deals in this stuff

Posting this stuff on here will only bring out the haters

Best of luck my man

[sbk]

Its possible to file for divorce with a power of attorney and only show up in court at the end, if you hire a private detective you can prove her unfit as both wife and mother. But don't get hammered because you don't know what to do, it never helps

[smokie36]

Good advice from sbk there. Give up the booze and deal with this problem now rather than letting it continue. It will take time but at least you will know you are making progress rather than burying it under a load of alcohol.

I wish you the very best Tuky.

[pigeonjake]

like the boys say, keep of the booze, get your head together,

these emails she keeps sending you will be of help to you in the future,,,,!!!!, keep them all, go and have a chat to that lawyer in bkk and take all the emails with you, this is harasment, you have a very good case of getting your kids with you, but you must stay off the booze,, shes that bad one and thats what you have to prove,,

take care buddy jake, booze down the sink, eyes forward for you kids

[edwinclapham]

Hi Tuky, not sure a WA lawyer is the way to go. Samsiam & Sbk have given you some pointers, maybe check it out first.

We use http://www.flsd.com.au/ in Perth, Newcastle Street as our lawyers. They also specialise in International law and we have found them to be excellent.

Wishing you much luck mate.

Eddie

[theblether]

Tuky you know what the emails are going to say so don't open them, create a file and move them into that file unopened. Even doing that little thing is one step in getting control of your life back.

One day at a time, sir, and today you've taken a good step.

[tuky]

Thanks folks, When I woke up this morning my first thought was...Idiot, drunk again and posting on TV...but maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Firstly, I really do not want to go to Thailand, but maybe it is unavoidable?

Secondly, this has to end, it is killing me.

Thirdly...really? I have to get off the piss? Yeah I know. I only drink on weekends but I know it does me no favours.

hmm. I can't keep my head in the sand any longer, I have a new family now and I will lose this one too if this Thai thing doesn't come to an end.

I just really dont want to go to Thailand and I really do not want to see this girl. I wish I could do it all from Perth.

SBK, I am sorry I am still troubling you guys with this.

[tuky]

hrrrrrrrgh.

I just checked my email and guess what?

this just does my head in.

When she has a boyfriend I dont hear a word from her, when he breaks up with her she takes it out on me.

I just wish I could see my kids. But how do you deal with a woman like this?

It must be drugs right? Normal people dont behave like this.

I must admit the drink does cause me to post on TV but atleast I have refrained for a few years, she can't stop for a day.

[orchis]

I thought the advise about not opening her emails anymore was good.

[edwinclapham]

I thought the advise about not opening her emails anymore was good.

I too was going to suggest changing e mail address, but then they share two children together, so maybe its the "whatifs" !

[tuky]

I feel like such an idiot guys. Coming on here with this crap.

So TV is still the only place I can come where people will understand whats going on.

Although I do feel I am overreacting somewhat, but I am just sick and tired of it all.

I dont know what the emails mean, I was with her for 6 years but I have no understanding of what these email are saying. WHat does she mean by Term? what is a term?

I also have to keep this from my Wife as she understandably gets pretty annoyed about this intrusion. WHat a tangled web this all is.

How about this one? I feel bad for not being with my kids, but how can I with this? Am I in the wrong?

I thought she would have given up after the 1st year, but now 4 years into it....doing my head in.

[tuky]

I thought the advise about not opening her emails anymore was good.

I too was going to suggest changing e mail address, but then they share two children together, so maybe its the "whatifs" !

Thats the problem, I wish I could just close my email account and never hear from her again, easy. But the kids. These emails are my only contact with my kids.

We used to have a little song...

Me: Daddy love Kitty

Kitty: Kitty love Daddy

Me: and Daddy love Candy

Candy: Candy love Daddy

All together while pointing upwards: Too the mooOON!!!

[edwinclapham]

Personally Tuky I think you will be going around in circles ad infinitum. Try and keep off the grog for the remainder of the weekend and get a case together and decide on a concrete plan. You are also in no position to be "drunk". You have to keep your wits about you... your father is terminally ill, your mother requires support, your wife and daughter also require much emotional support and you require clarity. Either you are off to Thailand where I would advise you strict caution with your dealings wth her and see a recommended lawyer, or deal with it through an Australian based lawyer. Personally I think the Thai route is preferable, and probably cheaper. I am not surprised that your second wife is upset, but she has taken you on board with the two children in your life and sometimes these are some of the consequences one has to pay!

There are a few single parent fathers on this forum that should be able to give you advice as to how about gaining custody of your children.

Given some substantial monies being parted with in wife No 1's way, would that be an option for you?

[tuky]

I don't think money will solve it Edwin. She has a great rental income from the houses I bought.

I really don't know what to do, my folks tell me to just forget the kids exist and move on. They have a great point and it is very tempting but I don't think I could live with that.

My current Wife and I have a biological daughter, I also have a step-son (Dad died on a motorbike) and we have recently adopted a little baby boy. Overall life is good. But....

hmmm, I am going out to buy an Ipod now, I will do some thinking on the way.

Thanks all for your replies, you didn't need to and I appreciate it all.

Actually, even my TV handle is her name, Tuky. That is also something I should change. (nearly 9 years member of TV)

[MiG16]

I dont have any suggestion for the custody divorce situation, but there is no point sharing her email on the.forum. You just expose yourself even more. And why give info about where you are , what new family you have got. It is a public forum. Anyone could be reading.

It is not just your own privacy you should respect but also hers. I'm not suggesting you can't vent and ask for advice. And to do so you'd have to give some info. But I'm saying you need to think carefully about how much is appropriate to reveal on such a public channel. Especially if you plan to head down the legal battle with her.

All the best

Ps. I've deleted the email messages posted

[tuky]

Yep, I know MiG.

And ofcourse you are correct.

I do apologise.

You know, I try so hard to stay away from this forum but once a year or so I end up posting like this.

Maybe you guys should put us all out of our misery and put me in the banned group.

Anyway, I will deal with this and get through it.

[David48]

Hi there tuky ... here you can yell, scream ... and we will listen.

Some can offer practical support ... some, like me, can just offer moral support ... ... we care.

[samsiam]

The emails are gone....but I thought the 'term' thing was relating to school and fees etc....could be wrong as cannot re read now to check.

If it was me....I would be first and foremost trying to find a way to make regular contact with my kids....that simple.

[TommoPhysicist]

Why do you allow her to contact you? Change email and phone number. Problem solved.

We have 2 kids...ignoring her would be like ignoring the fact that I have 2 kids. My Parents say forget them.

How can a guy ever forget he has children? I love them. Yet i cannot see them.

I forgot four, hard at the start but when faced with the alternative (a lifetime of emotional blackmail from the woman), the best thing to do.

As a previous poster stated block her number/email or just change yours ..... whichever is easier.

If you allow this to continue, all you will achieve is the failure of your current relationship.

[samsiam]

Why do you allow her to contact you? Change email and phone number. Problem solved.

We have 2 kids...ignoring her would be like ignoring the fact that I have 2 kids. My Parents say forget them.

How can a guy ever forget he has children? I love them. Yet i cannot see them.

I forgot four, hard at the start but when faced with the alternative (a lifetime of emotional blackmail from the woman), the best thing to do.

As a previous poster stated block her number/email or just change yours ..... whichever is easier.

If you allow this to continue, all you will is the failure of your current relationship.

Outstanding advice....walk away from your 2 children....crikey...some people.

[Ijustwannateach]

Tuky, unless you are willing to basically 'kidnap' the kids, or bribe the cops into enforcing the law that way, I doubt you will get the upper hand. And would your new family accept 'new' children?

Maybe it's time for you to cut all ties unless you truly are willing to be completely responsible.