Wife Wants To Stay With Our Son Against My Will

[marstons]

i see 1 outcome you in Belgium alone and her in a bar,child with grand parents. staying here until she changes her mind is not realy an option, the visa "stuff" is not that easy and money and food need paying for. Stash the cash in let the cars and bike be reposesed. Should they wish you leave the area you may well find you have no choice. Calling for help help where would that come from?

[gregb]

You really can't be sure what kinds of pressures your wife might be under from her family. Perhaps the cost of motorcycle really is all it would take to make the parents feel like their life is improving, and perhaps that might relieve the pressure on your wife enough to allow her to come home. It is entirely possible she isn't convinced on the staying in Thailand aspect of this, but is being influenced by her parents. With nothing else to offer them, maybe she feels obligated?

I would be cautiously optimistic at this point, and happily pay for the motorcycle AFTER everyone has gone through passport control. If you can save your marriage, and give your son a mother for 50,000 baht, you have negotiated a real bargain. I don't consider that buying your wife at all. I consider it a gift for your inlaws, and a great investment in your future.

[meatboy]

seems like your falling into her trap,has she access to your pc.its strange that after posting that they will sell as soon as your back is turned that she comes up with do you know that you have to pay the interest that is due for the next 2years.even if there was a balance do you honestly think you will see any of the money,and this is the next sceme buy me a bike,for who she is going to patts so she wont need it wake up they know whats coming and they are trying to get all they can.tell her the minute you go through customs with your son you will give her what she has asked for and not before.she and her sister are scemeing together so take care.

[Djens]

I'm obviously looking out, no worries. I don't ever take anything for granted, even if right now I believe wife and son will come back. In the end, the sister bought the new bike (old bike doesn't work anymore). So, does that mean I don't have to spend money on anything? No, of course not. She came up with something else, something for the house but it doesn't as much as a bike so that's fine. It's something I can afford.

I agree with Gregb about the pressure from the family, but I'd say it's maybe more a general pressure of the village they live in, with a lot of gossip and since the daughter has a farang, their house and possesions should look better than the lambda villager. It isn't that much different from some farangs I know, it's just different from my own style of living.

I know my wife is much into owning things. Like a house, why rent if you can buy, etc ... I can understand her point, but in farang land owning a house these days becomes hard. Even if in the end, it's still better than to rent your entire life.

But that's maybe out of subject. I'm watching my back, still a long time to go, but it's ok.

[meatboy]

i dont think we can give you any more advice,just keep buying it doesnt cost a lot.

[Djens]

Sarcasm?

I surely won't keep buying things. It's a one time thing, to "lure" my wife back if I could say so, or she just wishes something to stop the potential pressure from family or village (doh!). Once back home, I'll try to make her life better than it was but also prepare myself to avoid the current situation in the future, and protect myself and my son from it.

Advice has been good, and covers different outcomes and situations. I think right now that my situation is not as dark as some of you may think, it could be a lot worse, like for example wife leaves with kid and I never see them again.

Thanks for the advice

[Danielsiam]

If he take the child to Belgium the "child abduction" can be maybe applied by the Convention of the Hague about Child Ilicit Deplacement.

That mean, if the wife going to make a report to police and the authorities, that Thailand can be asked at Belgium authorities to get the son back to Belgium ? Is right.

and maybe he can have problem with the judicial law in Thailand and get some blacklisted of Thailand for child rapt.

So, I don't know if the Western Country will good cooperates with the Thai authorities to take back the child to Thailand.

Anyway I guess Thailand are not ? very cooperates at the another side ( Thailand > to another countries ).

Edited July 15, 2012 by Danielsiam

[edwinclapham]

If he take the child to Belgium the "child abduction" can be maybe applied by the Convention of the Hague about Child Ilicit Deplacement.

That mean, if the wife going to make a report to police and the authorities, that Thailand can be asked at Belgium authorities to get the son back to Belgium ? Is right.

and maybe he can have problem with the judicial law in Thailand and get some blacklisted of Thailand for child rapt.

So, I don't know if the Western Country will good cooperates with the Thai authorities to take back the child to Thailand.

Anyway I guess Thailand are not ? very cooperates at the another side ( Thailand > to another countries ).

Thailand is not a member of the Hague Convention!

[Danielsiam]

If he take the child to Belgium the "child abduction" can be maybe applied by the Convention of the Hague about Child Ilicit Deplacement.

That mean, if the wife going to make a report to police and the authorities, that Thailand can be asked at Belgium authorities to get the son back to Belgium ? Is right.

and maybe he can have problem with the judicial law in Thailand and get some blacklisted of Thailand for child rapt.

So, I don't know if the Western Country will good cooperates with the Thai authorities to take back the child to Thailand.

Anyway I guess Thailand are not ? very cooperates at the another side ( Thailand > to another countries ).

Thailand is not a member of the Hague Convention!

Parental Child Abduction

In Thailand parental child abduction is not a criminal offence. It is considered to be a dispute between the parents and a civil matter to be settled by a court of law.

Thailand has signed the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of Child Abduction

On October the 25th 1980 the Hague Conference on Private International Law concluded it’s discussions and adopted the Hague Convention which entered into force on December 1st 1983.

As of June 2010 the following countries are signatories (i.e., participants)

Thailand

The Hague Convention is one of the most widely ratified conventions that provides an expeditious method to return a child taken from one member nation to another. Most often cases implementing this convention involve separated or divorced parents of children who, through the abduction of their child, violate a custody or access order.

http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/travel-and-living-abroad/when-things-go-wrong/child-abduction/country-specific-info/thailand

Edited July 15, 2012 by Danielsiam

[kennkate]

OP I hope I am wrong I realy do, But i cannot see your wife returning with you.

If she does stay with your child, Then as sad as it is, It will be down to money if you want him back. Money talks in Thailand

As for the Hague convention If i read it correctly from the quote above. You would only be guilty of abduction if you were in violation of a custody or access order

It looks like you have made your choice to stay and see what happens. I wish you all the luck it the world. Please Do keep us informed.

[ozyjon]

May be she does not like Belgium at all but too shy to say so and never wants to go back, it is also a possibility.

May be she doesn't like the OP very much, and it's her way of keeping the kid, getting the OP to send her regular cash, and effectively ditching the OP. But avoiding all the hassle.

I'd like to know what village you stay in Thailand,, (not personally directed to you) the village i lived in many young girls would marry a falang stay have baby ditch number 1 go on to number 2 do the same thing, one lady is still married to 3 guys who don't know each other and she is getting regular money from all 3, it's like a business to them, your story just sounds so familiar, i was lucky, never had children but the lady had 3 guys sending her money, thanks fellers, the gold chain she bought me (with your money) looks great. This post is not directed at anyone just posted for informational purposes, you are very young and it sounds to me your lady is not the one talking, it's the mother and family,, listen to posters and good luck. I hope you (or your family) are not rich.