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2. Reporters at the Bangkok Post, who overwrite and forget that readers get BORED.

No one reads the Bangkok Post for entertainment, unless they get a kick out of reading articles by clueless journos, like the one earlier this week about why Cambodians hate Thais.

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Hi.

I have been in bkk for 2 months and have been teaching english here for nearly one month,its the worst decision i have made in my life.

My fellow teachers are generally at best had a secondry school education,they come into work generally smelling like a brewery.

My adminstrator is purely interested in the profit side of things and not education.

The traffic is abysmal here.

The money,well i will not even open that can of worms.

So to the reason of my posting does anybody know of any schools either in phuket or pattaya as i need a quieter life than bkk.

markt Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 18:53:46

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Over to you, Chonabot!

randyksf Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 19:24:34

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Check out this website. http://www.ajarn.com/

A few words of advice Teach here because you love it here. Fighting the way Thai’s do things will only cause you grief. If the other teachers are bad then leave. It is possible to have a great life but give it time. 6 months is about the time things start to make some sense.

The real question if you leave; what about your work permit? Don’t fall for the foolish, none of my coworkers have one.

Anyhow. Look at the url above it’s a teaching website.

nokna Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 19:49:57

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Thanks randy,

But i really think people should know what teaching is like in bkk, so i have decided to publish my diary,okay so i came here as a backpacker and got a job,but is it really worth it anyway.

Standing on a crowded bus to work, I'm gripped with the paranoia that befalls someone wearing a pair of trousers that don't quite meet his shoes - a pair of shoes that could do with a polish actually. Upon arrival at work, I find myself face to face with a worried looking Thai mother who wants to know how little Somchai is progressing in his lessons - is he participating? is he conjugating his verbs in a clear and succinct manner?

"Oh he's doing fine"I say instead of "The kid's only five years old for ######'s sake - he should be trying to get Mario onto the next level or sticking pictures in books" I go through the motions of showing concern when all I feel is sorry for the kid.

In the afternoon I have a new class of six students. I go for the time-honored warm-up of getting them to introduce themselves to the rest of the class. It never ever works, but right now I'm so snowed under with lesson preparation that it's all I can think of. When we get to the fourth student, everyone else is getting bored and fidgety - I'm getting bored and fidgety. I wonder if it's acceptable to start a new class with a word-search.

I finally have a few hours free in the afternoon and instinctively reach for the Bangkok Post classified. Usual stuff - yet another school running a teacher training course that will 'open doors all over the world' and other well-worn cliches. A Thai-run school in soi 156 is looking for full-time and part-time teachers. They promise top-rates of pay but can only afford the smallest of ads in the newspaper.

With my brain on auto-pilot I read through all the horoscopes and the business section, looking at pictures of high-flying businesspeople who aren't teachers or who never ever wanted to be. I even have a look at Ajarn Terry's lesson plan. Is it going to be the answer to my prayers? No yet again, it's a lesson plan that focuses on football, and yet again it's aimed at advanced level students. I promise myself to write Terry a letter reminding him that in every single class there will always be one student that has no interest in football whatsoever.

nokna Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 19:53:28

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Next day Tuesday.

lessons from 6.00pm to 8.30. I have a gap in the day which gives me enough time to go shopping.......in Singapore.

The morning students are tired, the evening students are even worse. I love the way that the office people finish work, and then come to class and just want to be entertained. They view me as some sort of circus act. I want to tell them that I'm tired too. I've spent six hours wandering around air-conditioned shopping malls. I've read the Bangkok Post six times. I even picked up the Bangkok Metro - that's how bored I was. I managed to make a coffee in Starbucks last for an hour, and after filling that time, after filling all that time - I still didn't have the motivation to sit down and prepare the lessons.

Relaxing at home with a good book and desperately trying to keep my eyes open, I receive a phone call. The lady who lives just down the soi wants me to teach her two children on a Saturday morning. She has two little barstards - aged somewhere between 5 and 8. It doesn't matter how old they are - let's just say that they're small. There are two issues here - firstly how much do I charge? and secondly, what do they want to learn?

'Just give them conversation' is a sentence I love. It's about as unimaginative and wearisome as any sentence you care to mention. And what exactly madam do you propose that I converse with two small Thai boys about? - China's emergence as an Asian superpower? The advantages of holding the world cup in two different countries that have a history of bitter rivalry?

Saturday morning it is then Khun Somphop. I'll see you at 7.30. Oh...the price? (the price, the price, how much is it worth?) There's a little man in my head. I call him my spiritual accountant. He's saying "charge her 800 baht an hour, go on. You're professional, you're qualified, you have a good reputation. Charge the loaded old bag 800 baht an hour" The words are there in my throat but they won't come out " Shall we say 500 Khun Somphop?"

Khun Somphop is more than happy. I couldn't really understand her reply but I'm guessing it's the Thai equivalent of 'sorted'.

chonabot Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 19:55:19

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Nokna , forget Phuket or Pattaya , if you want the quiet life , and still teach ESL , try Isaan. I taught in Kalasin about 5 years back, traffic was moderate, cost of living was about half that of any tourist area, plus...they love football ( Well Man U anyway ).

btw your writing style is familiar...... very readable though

nokna Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 20:07:37

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chonabot Posted on Sat 2004-01-10, 19:55:19

Nokna , forget Phuket or Pattaya , if you want the quiet life , and still teach ESL , try Isaan. I taught in Kalasin about 5 years back, traffic was moderate, cost of living was about half that of any tourist area, plus...they love football ( Well Man U anyway ).

Issan is much too far from the eden club and the cave, i do have hobbies aswell

pattaya is only two hours drive and phuket one hours flight and with these new airline deals i can go there every fortnight on my salary from a school.

nokna Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 20:10:26

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Wednesday and i am thinking of christmas.

I feel quite good this morning. I've got my best shirt and tie on and I'm clocking my reflection in the mirror 'not all five Spice Girls please!' It's a good 'money' day today - an eight lesson day with almost no breaks bar the one-hour break at lunchtime. I'm going to treat myself today. I'm going to have sausage and mash or pie and chips at the Toby Jug. Yeah, I know that rice and a few scraps of chicken followed by a bag of fresh pineapple is healthy but I'm a bleedin' farang - I need sustenance, I need carbohydrates. I need to occasionally enjoy the delights of an unhealthy diet and not feel guilty about it. <deleted>, after my sausage and mash nosebag, I might even grab a Mars bar from 7-11 and stick two fingers up to the world.

The day was spoiled by only one thing - a lesson observation. The head teacher came and sat in one of my morning classes - a class that didn't go particularly well. After the observation, we sat down together to discuss and analyze the class in detail, as you would expect two professionals involved in Bangkok's EFL profession to do. It was a case of pinpointing my weak areas and making suggestions on how I can become a more competent and successful teacher.

"You didn't move around the class enough".

"Well what do you expect for 220 baht an hour. Why don't you get me a pair of bloody roller-skates."

"The one student participated very little in the class. It was as though you were deliberately trying to avoid asking her questions."

"I avoid asking her questions because she's a complete f***ing retard. Every time she answers a question, she's 100% wrong. That takes a special kind of talent."

"Do you feel that you used the whiteboard correctly?"

"Well, I wrote on it if that's what you're getting at. It's generally what I use the whiteboard for. I do know some teachers who take it off the wall and take the students out for a snowboarding session but they're few and far between"

Ahhhh, professional development - the cornerstone of any language school.

nokna Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 20:17:14

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Nearly christmas, what am i doing here? i will add some more to my diary tomorrow.

I start off the morning's kids class with a Mr Bean video lesson. It involves watching two episodes of Mr Bean (fills an hour just nicely) and then the kids tell me whether it was good or not. Listen chum, while they keep telling me it's good, I'll keep on giving the punters what they want.

I'm then left with two hours to kill before my next lesson and have no alternative but to mingle with my colleagues in the teachers room. Our teachers room is no different to any other I guess - there's a selection of coffee mugs, 'world's greatest lover', 'If you had it last night smile' you get the picture. Next to them there's the communal spoon, which is caked in dried coffee powder, coffee mate and sugar. That's about all as regards the comforts and luxuries department.

In the academic department of the teachers room, there's a battered old sofa which literally thousands of people have farted into, and half a dozen ergonomically challenged armchairs. There's a bookcase full of textbooks written by Oxford University professors, with titles like 'English Grammar - Full on', and 'Grammar and more Grammar - the non-illustrated version' There's a crossword game with half the pieces missing and a trivial pursuit with all the answers marked on the cards with a cheap biro. We have a hanging file index where teachers can put ideas for activities, and things that worked well in their lesson. It currently contains a paperclip, a discount coupon for happy meals at Burger King and an old lottery ticket.

This time spent idly in the teachers room does give me the chance to meet up with some of my teaching colleagues. Thursday is a busy day and most of the staff are present in one form or another.

There's Daphne from the home counties. She's here with her husband, who's been sent from the UK to work on a big chemical project on the eastern seaboard. She teaches just to keep her hand in and keep her from getting bored. She regales me with stories of last night's superb meal at Auberge Dab and that the foie gras is simply 'to die for'. She keeps getting interrupted by Dagenham Dave, who is trying to fill us all in on why Soi Cowboy just isn't the same since the Big Pussy Bar closed. And then there's Jemima, darling Jemima, a new graduate from the USA, coming to teach in Thailand because......well, actually she doesn't have a reason. The school arranged to pick her up at the airport, arranged an apartment, sorted her out with a schedule, told her where she could buy decent underwear, and still she's pissing and moaning.

chonabot Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 20:30:49

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Good stuff Nokna , ahhh The Eden club , I recall a few "lessons" I learnt there , courtesy of Marc's assistant teachers....

mrentoul Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 21:11:45

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You've only been here a few months, and already your Thai students are ''little bastards''?

I think you'd be better off trying a different line of work altogether, don't you?

You sound so world weary and cynical, you could foot it with the best of them at ajarn.com. In fact I am sure you know the place already.

--------------------

nokna Posted: Sat 2004-01-10, 23:54:08

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mrentoul Posted on Sat 2004-01-10, 21:11:45

You've only been here a few months, and already your Thai students are ''little bastards''?

I think you'd be better off trying a different line of work altogether, don't you?

You sound so world weary and cynical, you could foot it with the best of them at ajarn.com. In fact I am sure you know the place already.

Mrentoul i believe you spend too much time surfing the net,need i say more?

chonabot Posted on Sat 2004-01-10, 20:30:49

Good stuff Nokna , ahhh The Eden club , I recall a few "lessons" I learnt there , courtesy of Marc's assistant teachers....

chonabot yes i have to agree with you on that club,I have learnt many things there and marc would make a great director of studies.

And while the rest of the Bangkok population push trolleys around supermarkets and play computer games in the peace and quiet of their homes, I'm faced with my busiest day of the week.

Those who don't push trolleys or play computer games, come and sit in my lesson with expectant looks on their faces. They expect me to open a little trapdoor in the top of their heads and insert a small component that has ' English Language' stamped on it. There are horrified looks all round when I imply that learning the English language involves opening books to certain page numbers and performing alien functions such as speaking, moving and getting up out of your chair.

It all comes as quite a shock.

nokna Posted: Sun 2004-01-11, 00:15:07

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Nearly a week of ###### but i am still there.

friday morning promises to be interesting – I’ve taken on a private course with Mrs Sakakaki, a Japanese housewife who lives in a high rise condo on Sukhumwit 33. I’ll do one hour of conversation with her and then one hour with her eight-year old son Aoki . With him it will be basically anything I can get away with. I’ve slipped a cheap coloring book into my satchel as purely a precautionary measure. It may well be a case of ‘close the door little Aoki and let’s see how many of these animals we can color in – oh a blue kangaroo, you’re making wonderful progress’

I arrive at the condominium well before our scheduled 9’o’clock start, which gives the insecurity guard ample time to subject me to the closest of scrutiny. He regards me with a look of contempt that is usually adopted by people inspecting a particularly horrible carpet stain.

“ I’m here to see Mrs Sakakaki in apartment 53B”

“Are you an English teacher?” he asks with a sneer.

“Yes I am” I reply “Why the f*** else would I be here at 8.30 in the morning sodden with sweat and wearing a cheesy smile” I mutter the last sentence under my breath.

Mrs Sakakaki’s apartment is exactly what you’d expect to get if you were willing to shell out 80,000 baht a month on rent. It’s a veritable palace in the sky with numerous doors leading off from the sumptuous main living room. No doubt they are doors that lead to fitted kitchens, master bedrooms, and en suite bathrooms. I find it hard to control my jealousy.

In the refreshments department, Mrs Sakakaki stretches to a glass of tepid water and a plate of nibbles each predictably wrapped in a thin coating of seaweed. As we spend a painful hour trying to ascertain which part of Japan she’s from and where her husband is now, little Aoki races around the room on a skateboard periodically crashing into my chair with a resounding thump. To which his mother berates him with the Japanese equivalent of “go and play in your bedroom my darling”

At the end of an hour, I’ve discovered that she originally hails from Tokyo, her husband is presently at the office, and her favorite place in Thailand is surprisingly, the Bridge over the River Kwai. I’ve also discovered that her little Aoki should have been strangled at birth.

Today is something of a kid’s day for me – I have a class of five-year olds waiting for me back at the school in the afternoon. After 3 weeks spent coloring in animals, I decide to introduce them to the world of drama.

“Now kids, I want you to imagine that I’m a little seed buried deep in the earth, and you’re the sun. That’s right you’re the sun. Now I want you to come over and touch me and watch me grow bigger” I just pray to god that the director of studies isn’t ear-wigging this on the other side of the door

nokna Posted: Sun 2004-01-11, 00:23:36

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Yep, being a teacher is hard, but being a teacher for students whose parents are willing to pay is even harder.

mrentoul Posted on Sat 2004-01-10, 21:11:45

You've only been here a few months, and already your Thai students are ''little bastards''?

I think you'd be better off trying a different line of work altogether, don't you?

You sound so world weary and cynical, you could foot it with the best of them at ajarn.com. In fact I am sure you know the place already.

hmmm in reply all i can say is here the people that pay for extra tuition for their children are the ones that have low iq or low achieving children.

no one pays for their high achieving little somsak or damien or jonny or whatever the name maybe,they dont need extra tuition..

Gatsby Posted: Sun 2004-01-11, 01:24:28

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I do understand a persons need to vent and I also like your writing style. Having said that, you come off as a horrible teacher. Maybe you should quit?

It is quite disheartening to hear the way you speak about Thai children. Perhaps you don't do a very good job of motivating them? How well do you speak Thai? English language is not that simple of a task to pick up. Perhaps if you spoke the local lingo then you could better explain certain finer points of the English language? Is Thai too hard, or do you expect someone to magically "drop the language into your head"?

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