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At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEO's of various brewing organisations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference.

Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate!"

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, make mine a Bud."

Hans, CEO of Lowenbrau, steps up next: "In Chermany ve invented das bier, verdamt. Gif me ein Lowenbrau. Das ist der real King of biers!"

Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward: "Barman, would ya give me a diet coke with ice and lemon, thanks?"

The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks: "Aren't you going to have a Guinness, Pat?"

Paddy replies "Well, if you fookin' pansies aren't drinkin', then neither am I!"

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