coolhandjoe Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Just returned from a visit to the wifes parents house and i'm fuming. We gave them some framed pictures of their grandchildren and some family pics of us and our children together. So they could hang them up next to their other family pics.This was a few months ago when we stayed for the weekend, they ended up in the bottom of the wardrobe covered with various household items. I offered to hang them next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons on the wall in the main room as they are a similar size picture and frame, which they agreed to. We visited them this last weekend and guess what my kids pics are back in the bottom of a cupboard, my missus was shocked but kept quite. I feel hurt and insulted but kept quite. Is this a culture thing? Because the pics were placed next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons, i don't know! They are good quality portraits but the in-laws dont wish to have them on their walls which incidently i paid for along with the rest of the house. They call our children,their grand-children farang and not by their names. Are they taking the mick or have i blown this out of proportion? Letting off steam!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I would be annoyed too. When you said 3 eldest sons it made me think, are they by any chance treated as god like ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 just my view, the comment about the 3 sons being considered above all sounds reasonable. my father in law, has a strict way he does his photos, his grandparents in the middle, then his parents one side of them, MILs parents the other, then children and partners and the one grandchild. neat and ordered. i would be upset about the photos ending up in the wardrobe. my FIL, refers to mixed race children as farang, but has not referred to me as farang (not in my prescence), since his daughter and i became engaged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Issam rider Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Just returned from a visit to the wifes parents house and i'm fuming.We gave them some framed pictures of their grandchildren and some family pics of us and our children together. So they could hang them up next to their other family pics.This was a few months ago when we stayed for the weekend, they ended up in the bottom of the wardrobe covered with various household items. I offered to hang them next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons on the wall in the main room as they are a similar size picture and frame, which they agreed to. We visited them this last weekend and guess what my kids pics are back in the bottom of a cupboard, my missus was shocked but kept quite. I feel hurt and insulted but kept quite. Is this a culture thing? Because the pics were placed next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons, i don't know! They are good quality portraits but the in-laws dont wish to have them on their walls which incidently i paid for along with the rest of the house. They call our children,their grand-children farang and not by their names. Are they taking the mick or have i blown this out of proportion? Letting off steam!!!! sounds like he hates your flag guts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Issam rider Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Falang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 They seem to hate you and shockingly have transfered that hatred on to your children as well. You have given them pictures of JUST the grandkids right? I can see if they hated just you not wanting the family picture up, but to do that with the grandkids pic is unbelievable. I've never heard of grandparents that didn't want their grandkids pictures up, even if they hate the father. Don't give them anything ever again. Turn your wife against them as well, shouldn't be hard since they seem to hate her children. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dieter1 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 if you let people treat you like shit, they will do it Just one question: are these people still get money from you or your wife? Stop having contact . Totally. If you are not able to control your contacts, you have no control over your live! And have to accept every shit, these people are doing... Do not let your children meet these people. They will hurt your children and trying to interfere within your relationship. It is your responsibility to protect your children! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WilliaminBKK Posted October 5, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 5, 2012 Next time you visit, take a box with packing that is addressed with postage, simply say- Hey where are those pictures of your Grandkids - MY FAMILY ? My parents in XXX would love them, pack them up and post them. Be the better person never mention it again to your wife or kids, some people are just nasty, sad you've got them as in-laws. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mccw Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 It is rather odd about the pictures and I would be offended also. But Could it be they are slightly embarrassed their daughter has married a falang and don't want the long and endless nosey questions from every wich persons who come in the house? Doesn't me the hate your kids though. Falang noi and falang doesn't mean to be insulting if said playfully. Some people get way too sensitive about the f word. Do they play and joke around with them, help take care and all that kind of thing? If yes then I wouldn't worry too much. The photo thing could just be the result of their own hang ups and not to be a direct insult to you or deep and meaningful one about your relationship. But if they are odd balls, cold and not nice in all other aspects then yeah maybe they really are a couple of nasty old stone hearts. Look at the bigger picture though, not just the one hanging (or not) on the wall is what I'm getting at. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) it seems that they are happy that their daughter landed a buffalo who can buy them the house however it is still shameful for them that she has done so, so they would rather hide it and not have to acknowledge it. my guess is that they are hoping that your wife will one day leave you and they can rid themselves of the shame. Edited October 5, 2012 by farang000999 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 also, what is this nonsense about 3 eldest sons. how many children are in this family? how do you have 3 eldest sons that makes no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayned Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 There are dysfunctioal families in all societies, my wife comes from one! If I tried to write down all of the crap that has happened over the last 14 years I'd have to start a new website. It's not just a farang thing with me. My wife's sister lives 200 meters from us and they haven't spoken to each other in 6 years and it has nothing to do with me. If you are happy you'll just have to "look the other way" and go on with your life. Remember to smile, Ido (sometimes). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lizardtongue Posted October 5, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 5, 2012 Sad, I feel sorry for you, but alas I think this is the normal Thai ignorant classless way, my mother-in-law when we first visited some years ago she joined us at a restaurant brought along her husband and a friend. No wai or any attempt to say a simple 'hello' but they knocked the <deleted> out of the menu ate like it's the last food on earth, totally ignored and when they had their fill simply get up and left! Obviously my wife was very uncomfortable and did 'have a go' at her mom, it made no difference. This happened twice after the second time I got my wife to translate what I felt, adding that their rudeness just cost them the renovations to their house that I had previously agreed to finance. Job done now when we visit (which is not that often) they are over me like a coat of paint make an effort to involve me in the conversation etc. Have a picture of my wife and I on display. The point being that they expect falang to provide the extras and see it as their god given right and they will keep on taking and treating you with no respect unless you stand up to them. They never got the renovations paid for and have never received a penny from me although I know my wife bungs them a few baht now and again which I don't get involved in. If I were you I would continually remind them that you paid for the house that they are living in and don't give them a single baht. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post NeverSure Posted October 5, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) When it comes down to a decision a Thai wife has to make between her parents and a farang husband, guess who loses? Guess who loses a couple of houses and who knows what else? Go ahead. Stand up for yourself. I wouldn't bet on the outcome. I wish I didn't have to offend everyone with this statement but I can't help myself. In someone else's country and culture where I have few rights including property rights, I'm never giving anyone a house. There are other ways such as renting them a house. Things rented in their name and with me giving them money to make the payments, and monthly cash aid can be stopped. As far as I'm concerned, every man who moves to Thailand should first have his tubes tied and then FFFF. Sorry. Edited October 5, 2012 by NeverSure 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Songhua Posted October 5, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) My wife's mother (passed away now) never acknowleged or addressed me although I always spoke Thai around the place and took part in whatever the family were doing. It was obvious all those years ago that she 'thought' there was going to be some financial benefit in having me around ..... but I never gave her a red cent. In fact, the more she ignored me, the more determined I became not to give her anything. Maybe she just didn't like me, who knows. It was certainly obvious that our kids and I were the only ones missing on the photo wall. Never worried about that too much, just assumed she didn't want pictures of farangs hanging there for her friends to see. Maybe it would've taken too much explaining. From time to time I'd give the brothers or sisters a thousand to go to the markets or I'd pay for the night out or fix a motorbike or paint the house or whatever, but that's it. And I'm not a stingy person. My wife has never GIVEN them anything either. We currently fund the niece's uni education but that's because we want to. My wife loved her mum dearly but never really forgave her for the way I was treated. In a way what she said was, this is the husband I've chosen - you can take him or leave him. Despite all that, the MIL absolutely ADORED our kids, had photo albums full of pictures of them and would've done anything for them ... but, the same as in your case, she never put them up on 'the wall'. Don't waste your time fuming OP. Give your life to your wife and kids - it's far more rewarding. Edited October 6, 2012 by Songhua 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharp Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Just returned from a visit to the wifes parents house and i'm fuming.We gave them some framed pictures of their grandchildren and some family pics of us and our children together. So they could hang them up next to their other family pics.This was a few months ago when we stayed for the weekend, they ended up in the bottom of the wardrobe covered with various household items. I offered to hang them next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons on the wall in the main room as they are a similar size picture and frame, which they agreed to. We visited them this last weekend and guess what my kids pics are back in the bottom of a cupboard, my missus was shocked but kept quite. I feel hurt and insulted but kept quite. Is this a culture thing? Because the pics were placed next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons, i don't know! They are good quality portraits but the in-laws dont wish to have them on their walls which incidently i paid for along with the rest of the house. They call our children,their grand-children farang and not by their names. Are they taking the mick or have i blown this out of proportion? Letting off steam!!!! For wot it's worth my missis just said that's total disrespect ......quote.... Better he not waste his time save it for his family and wife....very bad darling ....so your call..... Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgphuket Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The pictures would be the last thing they ever got from me. Some days I am happy my girl is an orphan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chonabot Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The in-laws sound like utter pond life sadly. Sometime ago my wife had to choose between me and her family - she chose wisely. We've been married for over 15 years and the family now have another Buffalo to help - my services are no longer required......haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Falang Maybe he is, but thats not the reason.Why do so many falang think Thais all hate us? If that was the case I know I wouldnt go to Thailand, want to live there, marry a Thai and have a kid together. To the OP, these pics of your kids, are the kids luk kreung or full falang from a previous lady? The obvious answers that come to mind 1..they dont like you. 2..they are to lazy to hang pictures.(which I hope its this and suspect it is) 3..theyre jealous they havnt got what you have. If your inlaws are anything like mine, then lazy would be high on the list. ie, to lazy to buy picture hangers and hang pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Just thought of something else to add.... Have you asked the inlaws why arent the pictures up? If it was me Id have to know, I hate that feeling of tension in the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 (edited) The pictures would be the last thing they ever got from me. Some days I am happy my girl is an orphan. Huh?...Im confused by your statement sorry. Ahh do you mean your step daughter?Please explain? Edited October 6, 2012 by krisb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The pictures would be the last thing they ever got from me. Some days I am happy my girl is an orphan. Huh?...Im confused by your statement sorry. Ahh do you mean your step daughter?Please explain? His wife/gf is an orphan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giddyup Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian? He's already said they are Thai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian? He's already said they are Thai. Then why would he post at 3AM? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 People who clearly hate you. Don't visit them again. How easy is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giddyup Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian? He's already said they are Thai. Then why would he post at 3AM? Insomniac? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattayadingo Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I too feel it is disrespectful of them to put the pictures in the wardrobe. If they did not want the pictures on the same wall they could have put the pictures on view somewhere else. You must have a good idea of how they react to and around you and the grandchildren. Do they treat your children the same way as they treat their full Thai grandchildren? If they treat you and your children differently then there is the sign. At least your wife is showing her unhappiness with her parents actions and that has to bode well for the two of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian? He's already said they are Thai. Then why would he post at 3AM? Why not ? Is it past his bedtime ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giddyup Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian? He's already said they are Thai. Then why would he post at 3AM? Why not ? Is it past his bedtime ? There must be a TV curfew. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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