Farang Living In "the Sticks" Alone

[tingtongtourist]

Lot of ego based thinking on here.Many people put down the other to make his own lot sound better.is a little sad that as farang in this country we are minority always...but do EVER stick together?? (like the thai defend each other in fight?)

NO of course, because every other farang think you are crazy because you not the same as him and he is better than everyone.

I think everyone who live here be happy in his own way, otherwise he would not be here..very simple! Why to argue over who is more happy or who truelly has best life? to do this would be the definiton of crazyness in my opinion.

good luck to OP and everyone who would sing the song..i did it my way..i bet my money..the one who argue and criticise and be online psychiatrist seem to be the one with the bigger problem

[JurgenG]

How does being negative towards the OP fit in with your perception of yourself then ?

You miss the point. It has nothing to do with my perception of myself.

Just negative people make life more difficult for other people. When I go anywhere in Thailand, the reaction of the local people I meet is influenced by the previous foreigner they have met. If it wasn't good, before they even get the chance to know me, they have a negative opinion of me. What people fail to understand is that negative people make life more difficult for all of us.

Edited November 2, 2012 by JurgenG

[BigJohnnyBKK]

What people fail to understand is that negative people make life more difficult for all of us.

I don’t think that telling people to ‘be happy’ and ‘think positively’ is itself positive. It is anti-relational, unsupportive and transparently manipulative. If a person is unhappy, the positive thing to do is empathise, trace the cause, with them, if they agree, and support them in addressing the issue. Being positive is, at root, good manners: basic respect, then extending the benefit of the doubt that they are, indeed, working to their best, then giving thanks and appreciation, and working together to identify genuine problems.

People are about as happy as they decide to be.

[JurgenG]

What people fail to understand is that negative people make life more difficult for all of us.

I don’t think that telling people to ‘be happy’ and ‘think positively’ is itself positive. It is anti-relational, unsupportive and transparently manipulative. If a person is unhappy, the positive thing to do is empathise, trace the cause, with them, if they agree, and support them in addressing the issue. Being positive is, at root, good manners: basic respect, then extending the benefit of the doubt that they are, indeed, working to their best, then giving thanks and appreciation, and working together to identify genuine problems.

People are about as happy as they decide to be.

When I go somewhere, I try to have a positive attitude with the people I meet, that they remember of me (a foreigner) in a positive way.

Other people are aggressive, for whatever reason, and every relation is conflictual.

So, when you come to this new place, do you want the person you're going to meet, thinks of foreigners as pleasant and friendly or as aggressive and unfriendly ?

Edited November 2, 2012 by JurgenG

[mrtoad]

Everyone has a choice, if the OP is happy with his lot good for him. Not how I would want to I've, but doesn't mean that he deserves all the suggestions of some deep seated psychological disorder that some posters feel qualified to diagnose.

He is not so happy because :

1/ He feels the need to justify his position when nobody asked him anything. Actually my feeling is the person he is trying to convince the most that he made the right lifestyle choice is himself.

2/ In his post there is a veiled criticism of people who live around him and don't share his lifestyle.

When you meet a happy, well adjusted person, he will speak enthusiastically about his life but will avoid talking negatively about others. Quite the opposite actually, he is usually the guy with the rose tinted glasses.

Are you not happy then ?

To explain why sometime it may look like I over react, you have to understand my job.

I'm a team leader, my job is to take a group of people from point A to point B. I can deal with people with limited abilities, no problem. I know what everybody is able to achieve and I distribute the tasks accordingly. What I can't deal with is people with negative mind, people who undermine everything we try to achieve, who put everybody down. As soon as one is identified, he is eliminated (to avoid any confusion, we are in the corporate world. Eliminated means fired ...)

I tend to react the same here. I know that life in a foreign country might be difficult and challenging. But it's not by whining and being overly negative that we are going to solve anything.

Taxi driver or a tour guide?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

When I go somewhere, I try to have a positive attitude with the people I meet, that they remember of me (a foreigner) in a positive way.

Other people are aggressive, for whatever reason, and every relation is conflictual.

So, when you come to this new place, do you want the person you're going to meet, thinks of foreigners as pleasant and friendly or aggressive and argumentative ?

I'm not at all disagreeing with your overall intention, which is admirable.

However all the crotchety old gits out there don't give a shit about other people, much less some random honkeys following in their footsteps.

And telling them they should care is likely to get you about as far as telling Thais it's impolite to ask someone how old they are within five minutes of being introduced.

[manly100]

Families often have a reclusive relative somewhere. Some people become or are predisposed to living as a recluse. I have an uncle who lives as a recluse, Can't say if he's still alive as finding him in a remote unknown location would be a challenge and if successful could be regretted. I do know from my trekking experience that recluse people don't seem unhappy or happy, just content in the knowledge that they have found predictability in their life that social involvement can't afford them.

I do hope it’s a bearable hereditary condition and not a result of social experience.

Reclusive - withdrawn from society; seeking solitude; "lived an unsocial reclusive life"

Recluse, withdrawn unsocial - not seeking or given to association; being or living without companions; "the unsocial disposition to neglect one's neighbors"

[mrtoad]

Aren't they a businessman? Same as the Som Tam seller.

[swissie]

When I started this thread, I diden't think it would generate this much interest. I thought, that I was the only farang that prefers this lifestyle, but it seems, there are few others around.

Forgot to mention a few advantages that come with this kind of lifestyle:

- I don't have to throw parties, where everybody including his uncle shows up, eats and drinks and don't even remember my name come next day.

- I don't have to support an entire Thai Family (including financing their various business-ventures, that usually fail after 3 months).

- I can do what I want (or not want). I have to ask nobody = I am truly the captain of my ship. (As small as it may be.)

AND: I am not some weird, wild-eyed recluse. Every 90 minutes, there leaves a mini-bus for Bangkok. And yes, I do go there and maybe on to Pattaya. After a bit of merrymaking, I return to my ship and resume my role as "sole captain of my ship", so to speak.

Actually, I am leading a very content life. Woulden't change a thing.

Cheers.

[rixalex]

When I started this thread, I diden't think it would generate this much interest. I thought, that I was the only farang that prefers this lifestyle, but it seems, there are few others around.

Forgot to mention a few advantages that come with this kind of lifestyle:

- I don't have to throw parties, where everybody including his uncle shows up, eats and drinks and don't even remember my name come next day.

- I don't have to support an entire Thai Family (including financing their various business-ventures, that usually fail after 3 months).

- I can do what I want (or not want). I have to ask nobody = I am truly the captain of my ship. (As small as it may be.)

AND: I am not some weird, wild-eyed recluse. Every 90 minutes, there leaves a mini-bus for Bangkok. And yes, I do go there and maybe on to Pattaya. After a bit of merrymaking, I return to my ship and resume my role as "sole captain of my ship", so to speak.

Actually, I am leading a very content life. Woulden't change a thing.

Cheers.

Good for you mate.

[canopy]

If you are living in an area within an environment that you claim is caustic and among people that you allege ways are awful compared to those in Americaland or in other words, below you

Those are your words, so don't even make up something like that and say that's how someone else feels. You should be ashamed of yourself. On the contrary I consider these villagers above me. Got that? Let me explain since you have no clue. I am in awe how they live so happily and content under circumstances that would drive people from where I come crazy. It's one of the things about Thai people I draw inspiration from. So Mr. Beetlejuice, now that you have been proven wrong, how does that make you feel?

[arch77778]

OP horses for courses.You are living your life.Go well Mate.

[canuckamuck]

I have the heart of a recluse, but I give the appearance of being social. So I can see myself living like the OP (maybe dream about it). But I have failed dramatically in my hermitude and now there are 7 adults and 6 kids in my house (second house goes up in the new year and we are talking about an putting up an escape house on another piece of land).

Anyhow the OP does describe a fairly ideal situation All except for the not speaking Thai; because I can't imagine how he manages to keep the infrastructure running without the occasional conversation to a service provider or villager. I also can't see how it is possible to own a house in a village without it belonging to a Thai. So there must be a significant Thai relationship somewhere. But if he manages it, i think that's great.

[Beetlejuice]

If you are living in an area within an environment that you claim is caustic and among people that you allege ways are awful compared to those in Americaland or in other words, below you

Those are your words, so don't even make up something like that and say that's how someone else feels. You should be ashamed of yourself. On the contrary I consider these villagers above me. Got that? Let me explain since you have no clue. I am in awe how they live so happily and content under circumstances that would drive people from where I come crazy. It's one of the things about Thai people I draw inspiration from. So Mr. Beetlejuice, now that you have been proven wrong, how does that make you feel?

Back in the UK, USA and some parts of Europe where we had lived, our homes where compact and can only describe them as little connecting boxes only separated from our neighbors by adjoining walls. We could hear our neighbors talking and even having a pee in their toilets.

There were strict rules regarding the properties, such as, the exterior of the houses had to be in certain styles and colors, our dogs could be taken away by the local authority if anyone complained they were barking, keeping chickens and livestock was forbidden, the fences and walls had to remain firmly within the property boundaries, could even be fined if a tree branch or plant was over growing onto the next neighbors land. After 8.00pm, everyone was expected to disappear and not be heard or seen. I am sure that many of you will be able to relate to this and have lived in similar circumstances.

Since living in Thailand, I have the best of both worlds. Comparative freedom to live as I please, plenty of space around me and the pleasure of having tolerate nice neighbors close by but not in my face, and able to converse with a cheery hello and become involved with them regarding local events.

There is a lot of compromise between us, for example, we short cut through their land, they short cut via our land, their dogs bark, my dogs bark and so on, although this is all in moderation, we are not a nuisance and are careful to keep a low profile during the late hours. Over the years my family and I have become a well-established part of a friendly highly sociable community without all the limitation please keep out of my way BS and I’m loving it.

Now, if for instance some reclusive anti social farang was to move close by and object to myself or my family encroaching on his space either by referring to my dogs barking, chickens cockadoo da looing, the noise from our vehicles, a few tree leaves or plants hanging over his side of the property, doesn’t like the style of our property or for reasons that he just could not stand the look of my face, than after a time we would be at war.

I have no objections to anyone who wishes to live their life in isolation and above board, providing they believe in let and let live and have no objections and no criticisms of how others live their lives in the area and are able to adapt to the Thai environment around them given that those around them are not behaving as extreme nuisances or deliberately going out they’re way to be hostile.

It took me many years to escape those types of people with all their self imposed rules, which they believe, should extend to everyone else and would certainly hate to suddenly find myself surrounded by these types that share the same Western type attitudes as we had experienced back in the West. As for being wrong, I am not wrong in this case for the reasons I have explained above and I am putting up a perfectly reasonable argument as to why I have a low tolerance towards these kinds of people and prefer not to have them near me.

Edited November 2, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[canopy]

It took me many years to escape those types of people with all their self imposed rules, which they believe, should extend to everyone else...I am not wrong in this case

It seems you are trying to paint me as being one of "those types" so wrong again. It should be clear my goal is not to complain, belittle, or try to change other peoples behavior, but instead prefer to live and let live and especially learn from others. You did impress me though with your latest post. The first one seemed a bit trollish to be honest. To follow up on your thoughts I too have lived in places with many very strict rules as you have. And now living in a place with no rules it's debatable in my mind which is better overall. Sometimes I really do wish there were some rules from a health, safety, and mind standpoint. Other times I enjoy the feeling of complete freedom to do absolutely anything I want, anytime. Moral of the story, make the best of what you have to work with. Life is too short to try to spend all time trying to get others to think like you because after all, you could be wrong.

I am a farang living in the sticks alone. It's a situation I prefer at this point in my life. I am neither advocating or dissuading anyone else from such a lifestyle. I find it interesting there are so few of us out there.

[Mosha]

I am in the sticks, about a 40 minute drive from Ranong. The Ampoe has a population density of about 43 sq/ml. Average population in our Tambon is 600. I think the expat population is about to double this month (not counting impending visit from friends from back home) I do have a wife, but she goes to see friends most of the day. My Thai is limited, but some of our friends have limited English, but we get by. I think what helps is being comfortable with your own company. I know expats in town who actually feel lonely. I wouldn't live in a town/city for all the stored rice in Thailand.

[Gary A]

I have noticed that a lot of posters make judgments based on their own personal circumstances. This leads to bickering and outright rudeness. I am a grumpy old guy but I was once a young guy with a young family. I can well remember the feeling of being trapped and in debt. A lot of stress comes with those circumstances.

I am now retired and living exactly how I want to live. I have no stress, no children and no money problems. Not that I am wealthy but I am comfortable. I don't like being old but neither would I want to be a young man raising a family especially here in Thailand. Money doesn't necessarily make a person happy but it sure makes life a lot easier and stress free.

My advice for the young guys is to plan carefully for the future. Living from paycheck to paycheck, saving no money and not thinking about the future will likely come to a bad end. You may not think about a pension for your old age, but eventually you will get old and it will occur to you that you are no longer employable. What then?