Holding hands in public

[dazdaz]

I was surprised to read about Thai's of the same sex holding hands in public, especially good friends, which can be nothing more than a good friendship.

I've not seen this myself, being too Westernised I first thought it was odd, then strange, then ok.  Westernisation seems to take the innocense out of us.

What do others think?

[poohbah]

It's mostly students (girls and boys) who hold hands and hang off the other's shoulders. I've never seen a middle-aged pair do that.

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.

[Dominik]

My observations as a farang about this:

This is indeed a strange thing for many farangs. Personally I think it is a very beautifull gesture. In western society we have become to afraid of expressing our friendship and love for our friends.

It even goes a lot further then holding hands. Sometimes people even hug each other closely, almost as if they are going to dance. They usually keep talking for a couple of minutes while holding each other this way. I see this many times here in Rayong. In Bangkok I have not seen this yet.

This behaviour is most commom with young people and students and only among very close friends. Young Thai people in general touch each other more then western people would do. More and more Thai people start touching me also I notice. Even older ones. As long as the difference in age is not to big, it seems to be accepted. When talking to me, some boys/men just put their hand on my upper leg, or wrap their arm around my shoulder. There is nothing to think about this. It is just a token of friendship. Making some joke about it or insinuating that there is something else behind it would insult these people. I never return this gesture however because it would make me feel uncomfortable.

In western society this behaviour is impossible due to homophobic reactions, altough for girls it is mostly accepted. For men/boys it would be impossible. In Thailand there is no real homophobia (altough homosexuality is not accepted) and therefore this behaviour is no threat to the masculinity of men. As such it is no problem.

This behaviour is only tolerated for people who are not partners and when people clearly see that there is no sexual meaning in it. You will almost never see husband and wife walking hand in hand for example. When Thai people see a man and women walking hand in hand they will presume that this is a prostitute with her customer, and they will disapprove of it. The same thing goes for a farang with a thai boy.

When you see a boy child walking hand in hand with a girl child it are usually brother and sister.

I think this is only one of the many cultural differences, and to understand these completely you need to be Thai I guess.

[konthai]

offensive content removed.

Edited December 4, 2004 by bronco

[britmaveric]

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.

<deleted>!!!!

[Simbo]

I thought that too.What a load of tripe

[lukamar]

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.

Double <deleted>!!!! My wife has always held my hand in public, and you could definatly describe her as a "Good girl".

Her brother is openly Gay and sometimes he makes me feel a bit uncomfortable in public, as he is a touchy type person. If this happens i just pat him on the head and he gets the point.

[snoophound]

Most interesting thing I have noticed is holding hands with your girlfriend must be country specific.

How many fat and fortyish falangs do you see holding hands with their girlfriends in your home country???

Must be the climate or something in Thailand right???

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.

Double <deleted>!!!! My wife has always held my hand in public, and you could definatly describe her as a "Good girl".

Her brother is openly Gay and sometimes he makes me feel a bit uncomfortable in public, as he is a touchy type person. If this happens i just pat him on the head and he gets the point.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Pink Mist]

We hold hands in public in Oz, LOS and anywhere else for that matter, we have had comments in KK about being newlyweds, but who cares.

[snoophound]

Ah yes bronco

but your darling is thai right?.

Dont see to much handholding in au ,that was the basis of my flippant comment.

Bronco on another note you seem a knowledgable chap.

My lady is Thai but now has an aussie passport.

Can she keep dual citizenship.

If we move back to Thailand does she need to do visa runs etc??

We hold hands in public in Oz, LOS and anywhere else for that matter, we have had comments in KK about being newlyweds, but who cares.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[ZOVOX]

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.</font>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Maybe it's because you don't wash your hands - My wife and ex-girlfriend's always held my hand, and they are all very good girls !!

[Pink Mist]

Ah yes bronco

but your darling is thai right?.

Dont see to much handholding in au ,that was the basis of my flippant comment.

Bronco on another note you seem a knowledgable chap.

My lady is Thai but now has an aussie passport.

Can she keep dual citizenship.

If we move back to Thailand does she need to do visa runs etc??

We hold hands in public in Oz, LOS and anywhere else for that matter, we have had comments in KK about being newlyweds, but who cares.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

she is Thai Snoop and at this point in time is at the PR stage, waiting for DIMA to contact us.

No problem for dual citizenship mate, she can hold both passports.

[wamberal]

Double &lt;deleted&gt;!!!! My wife has always held my hand in public, and you could definatly describe her as a "Good girl".

Her brother is openly Gay and sometimes he makes me feel a bit uncomfortable in public, as he is a touchy type person.  If this happens i just pat him on the head and he gets the point.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My (Thai) wife and I certainly do not hold hands in public in Thailand. I have lived in Thailand for quite a few years, on and off, and am aware that passers-by will sometimes say something unpleasant if they see a Thai/farang couple holding hands in public.

It is the height of bad manners to touch a Thai, of either sex or of any age, on the head.

Perhaps you are just culturally insensitive.

[RamdomChances]

We sometime hold hands, sometimes not, I dont think there is much significance in it any more.

It is the height of bad manners to touch a Thai, of either sex or of any age, on the head.

No it's not, depends on thier age, and the age differance.

[britmaveric]

Double &lt;deleted&gt;!!!! My wife has always held my hand in public, and you could definatly describe her as a "Good girl".

Her brother is openly Gay and sometimes he makes me feel a bit uncomfortable in public, as he is a touchy type person.  If this happens i just pat him on the head and he gets the point.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My (Thai) wife and I certainly do not hold hands in public in Thailand. I have lived in Thailand for quite a few years, on and off, and am aware that passers-by will sometimes say something unpleasant if they see a Thai/farang couple holding hands in public.

It is the height of bad manners to touch a Thai, of either sex or of any age, on the head.

Perhaps you are just culturally insensitive.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Head yes! As for snide comments you will most likely get that anyways regardless if you are holding hands or not.

[astral]

Just do what you and your partner feel happy doing in public - within reason of course.

Please don't try and impose western morals on the Thai culture.

[lukamar]

It is the height of bad manners to touch a Thai, of either sex or of any age, on the head.

Perhaps you are just culturally insensitive.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm well aware of that, but not culturally insensitive.. He's 35 years younger than I. AND perhaps wamberal you should observe your wife when around children or babies in the market. The head pat "thing" is part of the Thai Culture and a term of endearment to children. Thus I pat his head even if he's a bit larger. He's more like our child than a brother or brother in law.

As for comments by others - Who Cares - Prejudice is everywhere. In my wife's small hometown no one makes snide comments and in my small Canadian Town no one does either, The exact opposite actually we are totally accepted in both places. The only time we have heard comments is at the night market in Chiang Mai and that was noting to upset either of us.

[boris]

<font color='#000000'>It's mostly students (girls and boys) who hold hands and hang off the other's shoulders. I've never seen a middle-aged pair do that.

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.</font>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is broadly correct.There are some exceptions but very few.A key indicator is the age difference between the couple.A middle aged farang holding hands with a much younger girl in downtown Bangkok may as well shout out "I am a sex tourist and this is my hooker" for that is the information supplied to all.The resident sex tourists (usually) know better.

[davethailand]

<font color='#000000'>It's mostly students (girls and boys) who hold hands and hang off the other's shoulders. I've never seen a middle-aged pair do that.

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.</font>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is broadly correct.There are some exceptions but very few.A key indicator is the age difference between the couple.A middle aged farang holding hands with a much younger girl in downtown Bangkok may as well shout out "I am a sex tourist and this is my hooker" for that is the information supplied to all.The resident sex tourists (usually) know better.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I only hold my wife's hand when- a= we are in a crowded place trying to walk through or b= when we're in a nervous position waiting for results (pregnancy etc) or c= when i take her to another country.

Am i a sex tourist resident?

[what a life]

Good girls won't hold a farang's hand in public though.</

Maybe not 50 yrs ago, but it's 2004 now, soon to be 2005, a good and modern style girl will have no problems about it.

The sad thing is, it's people like you and probably your gf who tells you all you need to know about Thai culture that will look at me and my gf and think of her as a prostitute because we hold hands.

[Pablo H]

Reading some of the previous posts I have come to the conclusion that I must be a sex tourist and my girl is bad.

What a load of crap.

Ive been with this girl for near on three years, she is not a prostitute nor am I a sex tourist. To be honest, I dont really care about holdng hands, my girlfriend does though as she has told me that she feels more secure when we do. So I oblige, its no big deal.

Admittedly, if I am walking around Soi Nana and I see a 60 yr old guy with an 18 Yr girl I presume he is a sex tourist, but so what. The industry is here, its not going away (not yet anyway), the guy has money, the girl needs it. End of story.

[a2396]

<font color='#000000'>I was surprised to read about Thai's of the same sex holding hands in public, especially good friends, which can be nothing more than a good friendship.

I've not seen this myself, being too Westernised I first thought it was odd, then strange, then ok.  Westernisation seems to take the innocense out of us.

What do others think?</font>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is a common sight in Malaysia (younger women holding hands). Ususally means they are just close friends.

[davethailand]

Reading some of the previous posts I have come to the conclusion that I must be a sex tourist and my girl is bad.

What a load of crap.

Ive been with this girl for near on three years, she is not a prostitute nor am I a sex tourist. To be honest, I dont really care about holdng hands, my girlfriend does though as she has told me that she feels more secure when we do. So I oblige, its no big deal.

Admittedly, if I am walking around Soi Nana and I see a 60 yr old guy with an 18 Yr girl I presume he is a sex tourist, but so what. The industry is here, its not going away (not yet anyway), the guy has money, the girl needs it. End of story.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed

[toklong]

Its not what good girls do in public....Its what they do in private that counts.

[Crazy Dave]

I think you will find that Thai professional girls, ie teachers and lawyers etc would never hold the hand of their partner in public, whether Thai or farang partner.

Bargirls learn from there first day that farangs like to hold hands, it = more money.

My Thai girlfriend has 2 degrees and i have lived with her for 11 years now and we do not hold hands in public, Thai girls living or going out with farangs get enough ridicule from the fellow Thais to warrant this not holding hands.

A perfect example of this is the last time I was in Sri Racha, we walked past a restaurant, one of the girls there said my girlfriend had big breasts, the other said that the farang must have paid for them.

But obviously a lot of the posters here do not actually speak Thai so they have know idea of what is being said to their wives or girlfriends on a daily basis.

PROPER THAI GIRLS DO NOT HOLD HANDS WITH MALES IN PUBLIC..

[meemiathai]

I think you will find that Thai professional girls, ie teachers and lawyers etc would never hold the hand of their partner in public, whether Thai or farang partner.

Bargirls learn from there first day that farangs like to hold hands, it = more money.

My Thai girlfriend has 2 degrees and i have lived with her for 11 years now and we do not hold hands in public, Thai girls living or going out with farangs get enough ridicule from the fellow Thais to warrant this not holding hands.

A perfect example of this is the last time I was in Sri Racha, we walked past a restaurant, one of the girls there said my girlfriend had big breasts, the other said that the farang must have paid for them.

But obviously a lot of the posters here do not actually speak Thai so they have know idea of what is being said to their wives or girlfriends on a daily basis.

PROPER THAI GIRLS DO NOT HOLD HANDS WITH MALES IN PUBLIC..

5555555555555555555

[ZOVOX]

I think you will find that Thai professional girls, ie teachers and lawyers etc would never hold the hand of their partner in public, whether Thai or farang partner.

Bargirls learn from there first day that farangs like to hold hands, it = more money.

My Thai girlfriend has 2 degrees and i have lived with her for 11 years now and we do not hold hands in public, Thai girls living or going out with farangs get enough ridicule from the fellow Thais to warrant this not holding hands.

A perfect example of this is the last time I was in Sri Racha, we walked past a restaurant, one of the girls there said my girlfriend had big breasts, the other said that the farang must have paid for them.

But obviously a lot of the posters here do not actually speak Thai so they have know idea of what is being said to their wives or girlfriends on a daily basis.

PROPER THAI GIRLS DO NOT HOLD HANDS WITH MALES IN PUBLIC..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just curious: How many professional girls have you actually been out with ?

[what a life]

PROPER THAI GIRLS DO NOT HOLD HANDS WITH MALES IN PUBLIC..

Such a stupid thing to say, I cannot believe some of the people on this forum.

Ok, my gf has studied, graduated and now works at the airport. She's never worked in as a prostitute. She does hold hands in public with me when I can be bothered.

Does this not make her a proper girl? If not what does it make her?

Could it perhaps make her a proper girl with her own modern way of thinking? Or is that too open minded for you to think about?

[meemiathai]

My Thai girlfriend has 2 degrees and i have lived with her for 11 years now and we do not hold hands in public,

PROPER THAI GIRLS DO NOT HOLD HANDS WITH MALES IN PUBLIC..

I think it's time either you or she moved out!

PROPER THAI GIRLS DO NOT LIVE WITH A FARANG

Lucky that I don't have to live with a so-called professional girl, ie a teacher or a lawyer etc that will tell me that we have to behave like, what some people we do not know, expect us to!

WE HOLD HANDS EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD WE GO!

[chuchok]

I think you will find that Thai professional girls, ie teachers and lawyers etc would never hold the hand of their partner in public, whether Thai or farang partner.

Bargirls learn from there first day that farangs like to hold hands, it = more money.

My Thai girlfriend has 2 degrees and i have lived with her for 11 years now and we do not hold hands in public, Thai girls living or going out with farangs get enough ridicule from the fellow Thais to warrant this not holding hands.

A perfect example of this is the last time I was in Sri Racha, we walked past a restaurant, one of the girls there said my girlfriend had big breasts, the other said that the farang must have paid for them.

But obviously a lot of the posters here do not actually speak Thai so they have know idea of what is being said to their wives or girlfriends on a daily basis.

PROPER THAI GIRLS DO NOT HOLD HANDS WITH MALES IN PUBLIC..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Define proper?

I know a TG with a string of letters behind her name who is a right &lt;deleted&gt; bag.

I know Thais who think that any girl going out with a farung is NOT proper.

What does proper mean??