One For The Recent Expat Arrivals Into Bkk

[tingtongtourist]

What? farang in Bangkok that actually talk to you?

I can't believe that, surely you must mean the miserable lot who write on this threads?

[tingtongtourist]

There'll be plenty who'll swear that "one way or another, you're paying for it, mate" in a vain bid to disguise their sheer ineptitude with women.

..............

Don't get me wrong - if paying is the only way a man can secure the company and attentions of a woman then fine - but it is laughable if they dress it up as a relationship based on mutual attraction and shared values.

I am old, I am inept, I do pay for it ...... why not? I can afford it.

Who are these TV members that 'dress it up'? I've not noticed them.

I dont know what rate you do pay Thommo but allow me to tell about when i WAS NOT paying, when live in Australia:

Have a GF visit, and come over to stay maybe three time every week:

dinner..food and wine: most time no less than $40 a night

$40 a night, $120 per week and then $480 a month...which is 15,326.91 THB PER MONTH!!!

AND this is before you do go out on weekend, pay fuel for car, go to the pub or club or buy birthday and or christmas presents!!

OMG what have i done My crazy TGF did only ask for 5,000 bahts a month, was 45 pounds lighter than she, and happy with som tum and khanom chin

Dagnammit if she wasnt still so crazy i feel i must have her back

[up2you2]

Onedownmanship? - hmm, maybe you feel that's the way it's coming across to you, but if anything I feel their intentions are more inclined that you can learn and benefit from their mistakes.

Bleeding them dry - these are shark invested waters, the law of the jungle dictates that Farangs are fair game.

Change her spots - yes it's the Thai equivalent of Groundhog Day.

Worked - that's the difference, most of the guys are retired and are looking for a soul mate.

Return home - not an option.

Not cut out for expat life - who is? We're all fish out of water.

Abject failure - coming to terms with reality, who was it that said a man's got to know his limitations.

[ScotsExpat]

And if those are the kinds of people that people like the OP hang out with ....... they should stop complaining about it. Either hang out with better people or stop whining that the low class places and people you hang out with are low class. PS ...... if you hang out at low class places a lot you are no different than the other people that hang out there.

You obviously attract the wrong kinds of people as aquaintences or friends , the question is not whats wrong with all the other losers out there the question is why do you find yourself in their company ? I don't

Can't help but look at your two posts and wonder whether you understood the OP.

The question actually was what is wrong with some of the losers in Bangkok. How you turn that to a question on me is, quite frankly, ludicrous and perhaps even deflective.

You perhaps missed one of my later posts where I quite clearly state that I was looking for a discussion. You appear to have misunderstood the quite simple idea of a discussion and immediately go on the offensive.

But, to address YOUR question, I do not hang out at low class places. I can honestly state that I have not set foot in one bar where they do not serve Kilkenny, and have not entered an establishment where bar-girls ply their trade.

You see, I moved out of here out of a different choice system and with different expectations of the place that most, and that may include you, come here with.

I had 4 choices from my employer of where I could work next. All 4 had pro's and con's, and Thailand had slightly more pro's than the others..

I plan on staying here for no more than 3 years, doing my job and achieving what my career aspirations are for having the type of work my industry employs here, then moving onwards and upwards.

I am happily married and we are expecting our first child in May, we specifically did not rent an apartment downtown, but rented a villa in Nonthaburi, because its closer to my work, the neighbours are predominately employed in the same industry as I am and its more family-focused.

I visit one of the following bars, on average, 3 times a week (Dubliners, Mulligans, Aussie, Robin Hood) and golf at the weekends.

The difference between your replies and mine are as follows....

I did not assume anything about you, you made that mistake and were WAY of base.

I asked what I believe to be a valid question, based predominately on what I have seen both out and about and on this very website. You made the mistake of assuming where I had made these observations, and were WAY of base.

I asked a very general question which would appear to at least have a vein of truth running through it, based on some of the responses, You felt the need to try and deflect the question and make it personal, which begs the question why, unless I assume that you took it as a personal attack....

[ScotsExpat]

Onedownmanship? - hmm, maybe you feel that's the way it's coming across to you, but if anything I feel their intentions are more inclined that you can learn and benefit from their mistakes.

Bleeding them dry - these are shark invested waters, the law of the jungle dictates that Farangs are fair game.

Change her spots - yes it's the Thai equivalent of Groundhog Day.

Worked - that's the difference, most of the guys are retired and are looking for a soul mate.

Return home - not an option.

Not cut out for expat life - who is? We're all fish out of water.

Abject failure - coming to terms with reality, who was it that said a man's got to know his limitations.

I kinda agree with your comments but do have a coupla questions...

How can someone say that returning home is not an option? Is it financial? is it shame?

And the fish out of water comment. This may be valid for new expats, or new arrivals, but we are talking about guys that have been here for a while. By not cut out to be expats, I meant that they were so inflexible that they were either unwilling or unable to at least partially integrate, if there purpose for being here was long term.

Edited January 4, 2013 by ScotsExpat

[rsokolowski]

I joined the U.S. Navy in 1982. The first liberty port that we pulled into was the Philippines, and many of the young guys had never been treated so well by a woman. They being young, naive, and basically stupid thought it was true love. Some got married, others sent money to help the love of their life, most situations turned out bad (similar to many TV threads). I guess the bottom line is that if you ignore the warning signs that are clearly there if you look that

you are likely to have a poor result, and this goes for a woman from any country (including the USA).

I met my Thai wife in Phuket in 1992 and we are still going strong living in the USA and visiting Thailand (my in-laws) every other year since then. We plan on retiring there early in a few years (I am currently 49 years old) as soon as our son graduate high school and gets settled in college. Keep your eyes open to what is going on around you and you will be fine. Sink all of your savings into a house in your new wifes name and don't be surprised when you lose everything.

[ScotsExpat]

You forgot that in spite of their horror stories and failures, they insist on telling you how to do it...

And this is the bit that boggles my mind...

To admit all this to a guy that you don't know... Is it cathartic for them? They obviously haven't learnt from their mistakes, so why would anyone take advice from them?

[JurgenG]

Having lived in Singapore, Bangkok and then Hong Kong I agree with the OP and I think I have a couple of explanation for that.

First, the big difference is the proportion of retirees in the Bangkok expats. Expats in other countries are young professionals. A lot of problems expressed in this forum are old people problems. Most of them never moved abroad before they were in their sixties and obviously you don't have the same intellectual flexibility in your thirties and in your sixties.

Also the other days I was walking through the red light district in Wanchai, Hong Kong. We have a red light district in Hong Kong with gogo's and prostitutes but I don't know a single expat in Hong Kong who ever married one of them. I also think it's due to the fact that the expat in Hong Kong are young professional who have no problem to meet decent local ladies.

In short, the main problems expressed in this forum are the problems of old men with young wives they met in dubious circumstances, something very specific to Thailand

[ScotsExpat]

Having lived in Singapore, Bangkok and then Hong Kong I agree with the OP and I think I have a couple of explanation for that.

First, the big difference is the proportion of retirees in the Bangkok expats. Expats in other countries are young professionals. A lot of problems expressed in this forum are old people problems. Most of them never moved abroad before they were in their sixties and obviously you don't have the same intellectual flexibility in your thirties and in your sixties.

Also the other days I was walking through the red light district in Wanchai, Hong Kong. We have a red light district in Hong Kong with gogo's and prostitutes but I don't know a single expat in Hong Kong who ever married one of them. I also think it's due to the fact that the expat in Hong Kong are young professional who have no problem to meet decent local ladies.

In short, the main problems expressed in this forum are the problems of old men with young wives they met in dubious circumstances, something very specific to Thailand

I have to admit that has been my initial assumption...

Dubai, Singapore, hell everywhere where there is a thriving hooker industry has its fair share of working girls, but you don't see them marrying a tom.

I strongly believe its the demographic of the expat community that 'feeds' this sad lifestyle...

[rsokolowski]

There is an old saying "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" or maybe for many of these sad stories involving older expats and younger girls the saying needs to be changed to "why buy the cow if you can rent it?"

[chiang mai]

In short, the main problems expressed in this forum are the problems of old men with young wives they met in dubious circumstances, something very specific to Thailand

And very specific to the PI, Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia etc. as well, agreed however that the young professionals in HK exclude them from this behaviour since they are too busy working long hours to find time for it. So how can we summarise, let's just say that the older generations, having greater maturity. stability, more free time and money, are in a better situation to to atract younger attractive women than the younger generations of expats who are invariably the opposite of those things or too busy working the backsides off (and typically married with a young baby and on secondement for a limited period of time).

[Seismic]

I think you might be confusing Expat with Sexpat.

[MrHammer]

^Delusional thinking.

Younger, attractive guys get younger, attractive women everywhere. But some/many old guys in Thailand never go where normal local women go, so they don't see it.

[ScotsExpat]

And very specific to the PI, Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia etc. as well, agreed however that the young professionals in HK exclude them from this behaviour since they are too busy working long hours to find time for it. So how can we summarise, let's just say that the older generations, having greater maturity. stability, more free time and money, are in a better situation to to atract younger attractive women than the younger generations of expats who are invariably the opposite of those things or too busy working the backsides off (and typically married with a young baby and on secondement for a limited period of time).

I would have to disagree on this...

If they had greater maturity, would they necessarily get into these situations..

If they were as stable as you imply, why would they be over here in the first place..

Certainly have more spare time, but more money?

Younger, or working, expat, can't let their dick rule their head every second of every day... While they would have less spare time, they would probably use it more wisely, same with the money...

[HardenedSoul]

How can someone say that returning home is not an option? Is it financial? is it shame?

Once one grows accustomed to living in an environment that, for a foreigner, is far less structured and restricted, returning to the West could be considered out of the question. It is for me. The grey British weather, the CCTV everywhere, rules, regulations, the economy and the continual obsession with inane celebrity culture; all that seems a bit daunting.

Of course, I realise that celebrity culture exists here but at least I can't understand a word they're saying so it's not an issue.

[ScotsExpat]

^Delusional thinking.

Younger, attractive guys get younger, attractive women everywhere. But some/many old guys in Thailand never go where normal local women go, so they don't see it.

Why put yourself in a position where all your frailties (no pun intended) are made so obvious...

[ScotsExpat]

How can someone say that returning home is not an option? Is it financial? is it shame?

Once one grows accustomed to living in an environment that, for a foreigner, is far less structured and restricted, returning to the West could be considered out of the question. It is for me. The grey British weather, the CCTV everywhere, rules, regulations, the economy and the continual obsession with inane celebrity culture; all that seems a bit daunting.

Of course, I realise that celebrity culture exists here but at least I can't understand a word they're saying so it's not an issue.

But yet there are some who would scream from the rooftops about the injustices of one rule for locals, one for foreigners...

I see what you are saying, and its something I can relate to, but I can swap the grey weather for somewhere in the south of Europe, where, in the main, the rules follow a form of common sense I can relate to.. etc

[MrRealDeal]

And if those are the kinds of people that people like the OP hang out with ....... they should stop complaining about it. Either hang out with better people or stop whining that the low class places and people you hang out with are low class. PS ...... if you hang out at low class places a lot you are no different than the other people that hang out there.

You obviously attract the wrong kinds of people as aquaintences or friends , the question is not whats wrong with all the other losers out there the question is why do you find yourself in their company ? I don't

Can't help but look at your two posts and wonder whether you understood the OP.

The question actually was what is wrong with some of the losers in Bangkok. How you turn that to a question on me is, quite frankly, ludicrous and perhaps even deflective.

You perhaps missed one of my later posts where I quite clearly state that I was looking for a discussion. You appear to have misunderstood the quite simple idea of a discussion and immediately go on the offensive.

But, to address YOUR question, I do not hang out at low class places. I can honestly state that I have not set foot in one bar where they do not serve Kilkenny, and have not entered an establishment where bar-girls ply their trade.

You see, I moved out of here out of a different choice system and with different expectations of the place that most, and that may include you, come here with.

I had 4 choices from my employer of where I could work next. All 4 had pro's and con's, and Thailand had slightly more pro's than the others..

I plan on staying here for no more than 3 years, doing my job and achieving what my career aspirations are for having the type of work my industry employs here, then moving onwards and upwards.

I am happily married and we are expecting our first child in May, we specifically did not rent an apartment downtown, but rented a villa in Nonthaburi, because its closer to my work, the neighbours are predominately employed in the same industry as I am and its more family-focused.

I visit one of the following bars, on average, 3 times a week (Dubliners, Mulligans, Aussie, Robin Hood) and golf at the weekends.

The difference between your replies and mine are as follows....

I did not assume anything about you, you made that mistake and were WAY of base.

I asked what I believe to be a valid question, based predominately on what I have seen both out and about and on this very website. You made the mistake of assuming where I had made these observations, and were WAY of base.

I asked a very general question which would appear to at least have a vein of truth running through it, based on some of the responses, You felt the need to try and deflect the question and make it personal, which begs the question why, unless I assume that you took it as a personal attack....

All I asked was what is it about you that seems to attract all these "losers" you come in contact with , I didnt call you a loser , it wasn't a personal attack . I was pointing out that for some reason you seem to meet a lot of people you consider losers , most people really don't , most people meet people they like or they go someplace else and meet different people. I am not off base it's you who say from going out and about you meet a lot of bangkok losers ..... I didnt make that up it's what you said ..... It could be as simple and inoccous as you come across as a good listner and people like to tell you their problems , I don't know what the reason is , which is why I asked. So I will ask again and this time ask an additional question , since you don't seem to like all these losers you meet and you only go to the same few places why don't you simply go somewhere different ? You don't really think everyone in Bangkok is a big whner and loser do you ?

I didn't mean to upset you but the reality is that even though perhaps they serve a nice beer where you go it would seem like their are a lot of losers there ..... according to you not me ....... If you changed your enviornment you might find a whole different group of people that are actually enjopying life , but I will go back to one thing I said and that is that you are doing what I said is foolish and that is you are going to the same places over and over with the same people who you call losers , complaining about it as if it's someone elses fault other than yours. And also insinuating it's something you don't like ..... if you really didnt like it you wouldn't keep going there or you would tell all those people you consider losers to change the subject or talk to someone else.

All your history and story about your life is nice but doesn't change the boat you seem to find yourself in on a regular basis by your own choice and I just asked why you subject yourself to it and complain about it or what it is about yourself that attracts people that you consider losers to want to engage you in conversation. ..... It is a perfectly reasonable question not an insult or personal attack

The reason it's a reasonable question is it's unusual for people to continually find themselves in the company of people they consider losers , most people would have moved on or would tell them to talk to someone else in some polite way and talk to someone they enjoyed. Your situation is unusual and my question of why is a perfectly sensible question to your story.

I don't know of the places you go but you might be confusing low class places with low prices or high class with high price ..... low class places are places filled with losers reguardless of the prices or decor , you find plenty of low class golf courses and plenty of low class bars with expensive drinks in the world , it seems you have found a few in bangkok according to your story.

No need to get defensive or offended because I asked why you chose to operate your life in the way you do resulting in your complaints and your story about being around so many losers so often.

Edited January 4, 2013 by MrRealDeal

[ScotsExpat]

All I asked was what is it about you that seems to attract all these "losers" you come in contact with , I didnt call you a loser , it wasn't a personal attack . I was pointing out that for some reason you seem to meet a lot of people you consider losers , most people really don't , most people meet people they like or they go someplace else and meet different people. I am not off base it's you who say from going out and about you meet a lot of bangkok losers ..... I didnt make that up it's what you said ..... It could be as simple and inoccous as you come across as a good listner and people like to tell you their problems , I don't know what the reason is , which is why I asked. So I will ask again and this time ask an additional question , since you don't seem to like all these losers you meet and you only go to the same few places why don't you simply go somewhere different ? You don't really think everyone in Bangkok is a big whner and loser do you ?

I didn't mean to upset you but the reality is that even though perhaps they serve a nice beer where you go it would seem like their are a lot of losers there ..... according to you not me ....... If you changed your enviornment you might find a whole different group of people that are actually enjopying life , but I will go back to one thing I said and that is that you are doing what I said is foolish and that is you are going to the same places over and over with the same people who you call losers , complaining about it as if it's someone elses fault other than yours. And also insinuating it's something you don't like ..... if you really didnt like it you wouldn't keep going there or you would tell all those people you consider losers to change the subject or talk to someone else.

All your history and story about your life is nice but doesn't change the boat you seem to find yourself in on a regular basis by your own choice and I just asked why you subject yourself to it and complain about it or what it is about yourself that attracts people that you consider losers to want to engage you in conversation. ..... It is a perfectly reasonable question not an insult or personal attack

The reason it's a reasonable question is it's unusual for people to continually find themselves in the company of people they consider losers , most people would have moved on or would tell them to talk to someone else in some polite way and talk to someone they enjoyed. Your situation is unusual and my question of why is a perfectly sensible question to your story.

I don't know of the places you go but you might be confusing low class places with low prices or high class with high price ..... low class places are places filled with losers reguardless of the prices or decor , you find plenty of low class golf courses and plenty of low class bars with expensive drinks in the world , it seems you have found a few in bangkok according to your story.

No need to get defensive or offended because I asked why you chose to operate your life in the way you do resulting in your complaints and your story about being around so many losers so often.

I will admit at not reading all your post, because it is plainly obvious you have not fully read my original post...

You have made assumptions which I took offence at..

And you continue to make the same mistaken assumption..

Where in my OP do I mention I have shared a beer with any of these people?

I have also not stated anything about price of drinks and, since you know not the places of which I speak, have to assume that you are assuming again....

So, take a breath, read my original post from start to finish, and come back to me....

Edited January 4, 2013 by ScotsExpat

[BookMan]

In short, the main problems expressed in this forum are the problems of old men with young wives they met in dubious circumstances, something very specific to Thailand

And very specific to the PI, Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia etc. as well, agreed however that the young professionals in HK exclude them from this behaviour since they are too busy working long hours to find time for it. So how can we summarise, let's just say that the older generations, having greater maturity. stability, more free time and money, are in a better situation to to atract younger attractive women than the younger generations of expats who are invariably the opposite of those things or too busy working the backsides off (and typically married with a young baby and on secondement for a limited period of time).

[NanLaew]

All I asked was what is it about you that seems to attract all these "losers" you come in contact with , I didnt call you a loser , it wasn't a personal attack . I was pointing out that for some reason you seem to meet a lot of people you consider losers , most people really don't , most people meet people they like or they go someplace else and meet different people. I am not off base it's you who say from going out and about you meet a lot of bangkok losers ..... I didnt make that up it's what you said ..... It could be as simple and inoccous as you come across as a good listner and people like to tell you their problems , I don't know what the reason is , which is why I asked. So I will ask again and this time ask an additional question , since you don't seem to like all these losers you meet and you only go to the same few places why don't you simply go somewhere different ? You don't really think everyone in Bangkok is a big whner and loser do you ?

I didn't mean to upset you but the reality is that even though perhaps they serve a nice beer where you go it would seem like their are a lot of losers there ..... according to you not me ....... If you changed your enviornment you might find a whole different group of people that are actually enjopying life , but I will go back to one thing I said and that is that you are doing what I said is foolish and that is you are going to the same places over and over with the same people who you call losers , complaining about it as if it's someone elses fault other than yours. And also insinuating it's something you don't like ..... if you really didnt like it you wouldn't keep going there or you would tell all those people you consider losers to change the subject or talk to someone else.

All your history and story about your life is nice but doesn't change the boat you seem to find yourself in on a regular basis by your own choice and I just asked why you subject yourself to it and complain about it or what it is about yourself that attracts people that you consider losers to want to engage you in conversation. ..... It is a perfectly reasonable question not an insult or personal attack

The reason it's a reasonable question is it's unusual for people to continually find themselves in the company of people they consider losers , most people would have moved on or would tell them to talk to someone else in some polite way and talk to someone they enjoyed. Your situation is unusual and my question of why is a perfectly sensible question to your story.

I don't know of the places you go but you might be confusing low class places with low prices or high class with high price ..... low class places are places filled with losers reguardless of the prices or decor , you find plenty of low class golf courses and plenty of low class bars with expensive drinks in the world , it seems you have found a few in bangkok according to your story.

No need to get defensive or offended because I asked why you chose to operate your life in the way you do resulting in your complaints and your story about being around so many losers so often.

I will admit at not reading all your post, because it is plainly obvious you have not fully read my original post...

You have made assumptions which I took offence at..

And you continue to make the same mistaken assumption..

Where in my OP do I mention I have shared a beer with any of these people?

I have also not stated anything about price of drinks and, since you know not the places of which I speak, have to assume that you are assuming again....

So, take a breath, read my original post from start to finish, and come back to me....

The OP states "never... have I met a more sorry bunch of excuses but here." and then goes on to claim he hangs out only in classy, hookerless bars that serve Kilkenny (?) and plays golf. So, if he isn't setting foot in the chome pole palaces and other venues where 'losers' are alleged to hang out, where is he meeting them? Maybe he is meeting them at work? Or while playing golf? Or maybe the OP is referring to the ones that hang out on this forum? I can see how some have become confused.

I think it's another ageism thread where the younger, smarter sexpat reckons they have some edge over the older, jaded sexpat. Maybe the coffin dodgers can blame google and internet dating for making the young studs foray into LOS less.... expensive? Or painful? The only thing they seem to have in common is loads of cynicism.

[MrRealDeal]

The answer to your question is it's not just you plenty of people find themselves in the company of people they consider losers ..... however you and those other people are in the minority of people in the world , most people don't associate with people they consider losers or onedownsmanship as you put it kind of people.

I still stand on my point that it's the places you go and the people you associate with it's not that the average expat is the kind of person you mention.

Birds of a feather flock together ........ They are complaing about there problems and you are here complaining about them , seems like a perfect fit of company now that I think about it.

[NanLaew]

Having lived in Singapore, Bangkok and then Hong Kong I agree with the OP and I think I have a couple of explanation for that.

First, the big difference is the proportion of retirees in the Bangkok expats. Expats in other countries are young professionals. A lot of problems expressed in this forum are old people problems. Most of them never moved abroad before they were in their sixties and obviously you don't have the same intellectual flexibility in your thirties and in your sixties.

Also the other days I was walking through the red light district in Wanchai, Hong Kong. We have a red light district in Hong Kong with gogo's and prostitutes but I don't know a single expat in Hong Kong who ever married one of them. I also think it's due to the fact that the expat in Hong Kong are young professional who have no problem to meet decent local ladies.

In short, the main problems expressed in this forum are the problems of old men with young wives they met in dubious circumstances, something very specific to Thailand

I have to admit that has been my initial assumption...

Dubai, Singapore, hell everywhere where there is a thriving hooker industry has its fair share of working girls, but you don't see them marrying a tom.

I strongly believe its the demographic of the expat community that 'feeds' this sad lifestyle...

The term is marrying a John... not marrying a tom. Toms and Dees are something else.

I met a topless bartender in a Wanchai club in 1980. At the prices they commanded, there's no way anyone could afford that on a daily basis.

So, where is the OP meeting all these sad expats that invest in slappers?

[MrRealDeal]

All I asked was what is it about you that seems to attract all these "losers" you come in contact with , I didnt call you a loser , it wasn't a personal attack . I was pointing out that for some reason you seem to meet a lot of people you consider losers , most people really don't , most people meet people they like or they go someplace else and meet different people. I am not off base it's you who say from going out and about you meet a lot of bangkok losers ..... I didnt make that up it's what you said ..... It could be as simple and inoccous as you come across as a good listner and people like to tell you their problems , I don't know what the reason is , which is why I asked. So I will ask again and this time ask an additional question , since you don't seem to like all these losers you meet and you only go to the same few places why don't you simply go somewhere different ? You don't really think everyone in Bangkok is a big whner and loser do you ?

I didn't mean to upset you but the reality is that even though perhaps they serve a nice beer where you go it would seem like their are a lot of losers there ..... according to you not me ....... If you changed your enviornment you might find a whole different group of people that are actually enjopying life , but I will go back to one thing I said and that is that you are doing what I said is foolish and that is you are going to the same places over and over with the same people who you call losers , complaining about it as if it's someone elses fault other than yours. And also insinuating it's something you don't like ..... if you really didnt like it you wouldn't keep going there or you would tell all those people you consider losers to change the subject or talk to someone else.

All your history and story about your life is nice but doesn't change the boat you seem to find yourself in on a regular basis by your own choice and I just asked why you subject yourself to it and complain about it or what it is about yourself that attracts people that you consider losers to want to engage you in conversation. ..... It is a perfectly reasonable question not an insult or personal attack

The reason it's a reasonable question is it's unusual for people to continually find themselves in the company of people they consider losers , most people would have moved on or would tell them to talk to someone else in some polite way and talk to someone they enjoyed. Your situation is unusual and my question of why is a perfectly sensible question to your story.

I don't know of the places you go but you might be confusing low class places with low prices or high class with high price ..... low class places are places filled with losers reguardless of the prices or decor , you find plenty of low class golf courses and plenty of low class bars with expensive drinks in the world , it seems you have found a few in bangkok according to your story.

No need to get defensive or offended because I asked why you chose to operate your life in the way you do resulting in your complaints and your story about being around so many losers so often.

I will admit at not reading all your post, because it is plainly obvious you have not fully read my original post...

You have made assumptions which I took offence at..

And you continue to make the same mistaken assumption..

Where in my OP do I mention I have shared a beer with any of these people?

I have also not stated anything about price of drinks and, since you know not the places of which I speak, have to assume that you are assuming again....

So, take a breath, read my original post from start to finish, and come back to me....

The OP states "never... have I met a more sorry bunch of excuses but here." and then goes on to claim he hangs out only in classy, hookerless bars that serve Kilkenny (?) and plays golf. So, if he isn't setting foot in the chome pole palaces and other venues where 'losers' are alleged to hang out, where is he meeting them? Maybe he is meeting them at work? Or while playing golf? Or maybe the OP is referring to the ones that hang out on this forum? I can see how some have become confused.

I think it's another ageism thread where the younger, smarter sexpat reckons they have some edge over the older, jaded sexpat. Maybe the coffin dodgers can blame google and internet dating for making the young studs foray into LOS less.... expensive? Or painful? The only thing they seem to have in common is loads of cynicism.

I always find it amusing when people embarass themselves by addmitting they hang out and listen to losers and then get offended when someone like me points out it might be a personal problem rather than everyone in Thailand being a loser like they assert. The fact is that this is just another place pretty much like every other place filled with mostly nice people and a few oddballs and losers but not markedly different than any other place. What is different is who he is listening to and hanging out with.

[HardenedSoul]

I guess this all depends on what one's criteria is for dubbing another person a "loser".

Personally, if I meet a guy who, even after 10 years here, displays the same rabid obsession with sex workers that you'd reasonably expect from a first-time visitor, I would make it my business to avoid interacting with him but I wouldn't call him a loser.

When someone genuinely considers most of the people he meets to be "losers", I'd say there are anger issues at play. Maybe the OP chose the wrong terminology

[NanLaew]

We live in times where pre-nuptual aggreements are de rigour, makes the word trust seem a bit like a cute Victorian concept. I don't know, the sensible legal precautions bit is like carrying an umbrella on a fine day, who knows, it might just rain.

Pre-nup not much use for guys buying a house or land in her name then signing a form to say none of their money was used and they will have no claim on it. I'm pretty sure that document signed at the land office will trump any pre-nup.

Never ceases to amaze me that there actually guys out there stupid enough to do this kind of thing.

It never ceases to amaze me that some forum members are repeatedly amazed that some people make bad judgement calls.

Sure, there are the 'born losers' and then there's the faithful that trot out the old 'never invest more than you can afford to walk away from' mantra.

Are we covering ANY new ground here?

[MrHammer]

I always find it amusing when people embarass themselves by addmitting they hang out and listen to losers and then get offended when someone like me points out it might be a personal problem rather than everyone in Thailand being a loser like they assert. The fact is that this is just another place pretty much like every other place filled with mostly nice people and a few oddballs and losers but not markedly different than any other place. What is different is who he is listening to and hanging out with.

Disagree. Thailand attracts A LOT of questionable characters. Criminals, hustlers, down and out people, weirdos etc. The latter don't hurt anyone, but you really have to be careful of the sociopaths who are much more numerous in Thailand than elsewhere. Always looking to make a quick buck or hustle someone.

But really, most 'expats' in Thailand are just on some kind of prolonged holiday whether as teachers, retirees or hustlers. That demographic is very different from other expat demographics. That also accounts for the general lack of expat culture in Bangkok compared to the massive number of foreigners here. Things are changing though and Bangkok will probably be a lot more civilized within 10-15 years. Thais are beginning to have a decent average income and that's actually good for most who enjoy living there since more Thais will be open to interacting with foreigners in meaningful ways besides prostitution.

[chiang mai]

And very specific to the PI, Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia etc. as well, agreed however that the young professionals in HK exclude them from this behaviour since they are too busy working long hours to find time for it. So how can we summarise, let's just say that the older generations, having greater maturity. stability, more free time and money, are in a better situation to to atract younger attractive women than the younger generations of expats who are invariably the opposite of those things or too busy working the backsides off (and typically married with a young baby and on secondement for a limited period of time).

I would have to disagree on this...

If they had greater maturity, would they necessarily get into these situations..

If they were as stable as you imply, why would they be over here in the first place..

Certainly have more spare time, but more money?

Younger, or working, expat, can't let their dick rule their head every second of every day... While they would have less spare time, they would probably use it more wisely, same with the money...

I lived in Hong Kong for many years and it was always P4P because there was no time for anything else, I was a regular visitor to Wan Chai which can be a lot of fun. Yes it was expensive but I was earning more than enough to pay for it and it suited my lifestyle at the time - the idea of marrying any one of my "temporary employees" was not even a consideration because I was in HK for one reason only, to make money and that meant working lots of hours, every day.

When I quit all that nonesence and moved to Thailand permanently in 2002 my lifestyle with regard to P4P was quite similar, over time things settled down however and I eventually began to lead a more "normal" existence. But many of my peer group continued the chase and even today some of them still do, they are an attractive proposition to any local lady because they are educated, quite wealthy and sufficently mature to be considered stable and a sound bet, unlike many others these are "retirees" who have other options but are here out of choice - I have no doubt that each of them will eventually find Ms/Mrs Right and it will be game over for them, sadly that will leave the remaining contestants to include twenty five year old English teachers, the odd misplaced thirty five year old and a handful of too early retirees who will eventually have to go home again, oh well.

[maprao]

When reading stories about Thailand remember a good analogy:

If you eat in a good restaurant you will tell a handful of people. If you eat in a bad restaurant you will tell everyone! However the ratio of good to bad is quite high in favor of the good ones.

As for me everything in Thailand can belong to my wife and son. I have no issues and I am a "hardened expat contractor". Nowhere else would I have a wife that takes care of me and loves me (perceived or true) the way my current Thai wife does. Also she grants me a certain degree of don't ask do not tell when I want to go and misbehave.

[MrRealDeal]

I guess this all depends on what one's criteria is for dubbing another person a "loser".

Personally, if I meet a guy who, even after 10 years here, displays the same rabid obsession with sex workers that you'd reasonably expect from a first-time visitor, I would make it my business to avoid interacting with him but I wouldn't call him a loser.

When someone genuinely considers most of the people he meets to be "losers", I'd say there are anger issues at play. Maybe the OP chose the wrong terminology

All I know is that I never run into these people ..... I would invite the OP to come hang out poolside with me and the 7-10 expat familys who enjoy life and never have anything to complain about or come with me for a week and see that I never run into these people anyplace , my neighborhood has 2 and this sat we have a party and we wont be sitting around complaining about life ! lol ....... All I want to know is what makes his life and people like him run into so many of these people when I never meet any of them. In the 15 or so years here I have met 1 man who sounded like a disgrunteled TV poster ....... at the airport in JAPAN ! LOL Edited January 4, 2013 by MrRealDeal