Not Another Sin Sod Question!

[Tilted Grin]

"The amount will vary due to several factors such as, the social status and wealth of the parents, the education, age, and beauty of the daughter. The cost of the ceremonies, parties, food, etc., will be paid by the parents using part of the Sin Sod."

The above quote is from the pinned "Sin Sot - An Explanation." According to the above quoted the costs of the wedding will be covered by the Sin Sot.

Others have commented that some parents will keep all of the Sin Sod money depending on her family's financial status.

So when planning to marry a Thai girl you must first find out the girl's family social status and then plan accordingly.

If she comes from a wealthy family, expect to get the Sin Sot back to cover the costs of the wedding. But if she is from a middle-class or poor family, then in addition to Sin Sod money you also have to figure the costs of the wedding as well.

Have I got a good understanding of this issue or not?

Edited January 5, 2013 by Tilted Grin

[krisb]

Suppose so. What "class" would you call her family and how much do they want?

Tell your mrs in your country the brides family pay for the wedding. And prepare for all that money going and not coming back.

Edited January 5, 2013 by krisb

[thirteenalpha]

This is just another example of Thai culture conflicting with opposing "Western" cultures. The best thing is for both people to be able to understand each other and put stupid cultures behind you and just do the smart thing. If the couple cannot come to an agreement on these things then the relationship probably won't work out anyway. I say screw culture and traditions and make room for logical reasoning and social responsibility.

[sbk]

When my nephew got married his parents paid for the wedding. The newlyweds kept both the sin sot (paid for by his parents of course) as well as the proceeds of the wedding. Normally the proceeds of the wedding are used to pay for the wedding and the sin sot is for the young couple to start their life on.

[krisb]

Or do what I did, get married outside Thailand. See ya later sin sot.

[fatfather]

Don't pay any sin sod as long as you don't understand anything about Thai culture. If your wife loves you she support you, if not..... Wait, or....

Fatfather

Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using Thaivisa Connect App

[rgs2001uk]

Your problem isnt the down payment, its the monthly repayments that will follow.

Not enough information given, what you quote is guidance not gospel, each situation will vary.

How long have you lived in Thailand and how many Thai woman have you been involved with?

Why even mention it, wait for the girl or her parents to mention it, or make your position clear from the start, then the onus is on the girl and her family.

What makes this girl so special, what is she and her family bringing to the marriage?

[Tilted Grin]

Your problem isnt the down payment, its the monthly repayments that will follow.

Not enough information given, what you quote is guidance not gospel, each situation will vary.

How long have you lived in Thailand and how many Thai woman have you been involved with?

Why even mention it, wait for the girl or her parents to mention it, or make your position clear from the start, then the onus is on the girl and her family.

What makes this girl so special, what is she and her family bringing to the marriage?

Thanks for all the helpful advice. I haven't been in Thailand long and this is my first relationship with a Thai woman. A girl who is the apple of your eye is obviously going to be special to you. It's really too early to say anything about the family yet.

[Tilted Grin]

Thanks again everyone.

[rgs2001uk]

Your problem isnt the down payment, its the monthly repayments that will follow.

Not enough information given, what you quote is guidance not gospel, each situation will vary.

How long have you lived in Thailand and how many Thai woman have you been involved with?

Why even mention it, wait for the girl or her parents to mention it, or make your position clear from the start, then the onus is on the girl and her family.

What makes this girl so special, what is she and her family bringing to the marriage?

Thanks for all the helpful advice. I haven't been in Thailand long and this is my first relationship with a Thai woman. A girl who is the apple of your eye is obviously going to be special to you. It's really too early to say anything about the family yet.

I haven't been in Thailand long

this is my first relationship with a Thai woman

A girl who is the apple of your eye is obviously going to be special to you

It's really too early to say anything about the family yet

Highlighted all the above, because to me they are all causes for concern.

First, havent been here long and you are already asking about sin sot, slow down and take things at your own pace, dont do anything here you wouldnt do back home, and certainly dont be pressurised into doing something you dont want.

First relationship with a Thai, so you have no benchmark, nothing to judge her against.

Over on another post some guy is writing he has spent 2 million baht on a girl in 3 years and she doesnt even buy him a birthday card, <deleted>.

Another guy posted in another forum after walking out the door, "I dont know why I put up with it for so long".

A girl who is the apple of your eye, are you sure its not the wrapping paper that is attracting you and not the package.

Consider this girl as a package, what is she bringing with her, does she have any baggage?

The Thais have no qualms about asking the following questions straight out after meeting you for the first time, I suggest you need to lose you inhibitions and think like a Thai, I would ask the girl straight out,

What university did you attend,

What did you major in

Where do you work

Whats your position

Whats your salary

Do you have your own house/condo or do you rent

Do you have your own car

What do your parents do for a living

Do your parents own any land, if so how much and whats the title deed

What do her brothers and sisters do for a living

The above may appear mercanary, but not asking can come back and bite you in the ass, consider the following,

You are asked to pay 300k baht for a funeral.

You are told to pay 200k baht for her brothers monk piss up party.

Granny need a hip replacement.

Her father needs a liver transplant due to his lao kao consumption.

Brother needs a ladyboy operation.

Well run dry buffalo die you pay.

She wants a nose job, a breast job, eye job, tummy tuck.

The phone you just spent 30k baht on a few months ago is now outdated, she is losing face, buy a new one.

And so the list goes on.

Final point, the Thais would already have sussed out the family by now, compatability for starters and any skeletons in the closet.

Visit the house and pay close attention, is the front yard littered with empty whisky and beer bottles, does the brother spend all day sleeping in a hamock, does the house look as if its about to collapse or need a new roof, you will be expexted to pay.

Does the father invite hits mates over for a bit of chicken fighting, does the mother spend her time looking after grandkids whilst palying cards and eating som tam?

Sorry to appear cynical, I wont change Thailand but Thailand will change me, all the above are incidents I have witnessed first hand or friends have witnessed.

[Tilted Grin]

To the member above I want to thank you for taking the time to type a very informative reply. It should be pinned for the benefit of other members.

I'm not sure if she graduated from university but she is gainfully employed at a bank in Bangkok. No sure about her position there but she was honest enought to tell me she doesn't make much money.

She doesn't have a car and rents a place with her older sis who also has a job.

Her brother is a merchant sailor. Two younger sisters at home but I don't have any info on the parents yet.

She did mention something about wanting a good life for her family. I believe she sends some of her salary home.

[Tilted Grin]

I will definately be taking things at my own pace after reading your reply. Thanks again.