Smacking Toddlers In A Bangkok School: What Would You Do?

[rgs2001uk]

I don't hit my kids and they are fully instructed that NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY lays a hand on them and should anyone hit them they will have me on them, faster than a fly on shit.

My kids are very well behaved and have NEVER BEEN BEAT so if you think you need to beat kids to make them behave maybe you need to take parenting classes to show you where you are going wrong.

As for teachers or strangers putting hand on my kids I would flip if I dont put my hands on my kids you can be damn well sure nobody else has a right too

DK

if you think you need to beat kids to make them behave maybe you need to

take parenting classes to show you where you are going wrong.

Please pray tell would such classes be available in the LOS?

How may times do you tell a child no before you discipline him/her?

I have stood too many times at a supermarket checkout out and watched and listened to these little spoilt brats bawling and screaming at the top of their lungs as they throw a tantrum wondering when the dozy parent was going to take action.

I have had the misfortune of having to endure the same useless parents and their offspring whilst travelling.

This no discipline may work for you, its us other poor saps who have to endure the results of no discipline that get pissed off.

[Almera]

^ Discipline doesn't equate to beating.

No beating doesn't equate to no discipline.

Edited March 24, 2013 by Almera

[manxninja]

The only person that will be smacking my child is myself.

If you watched your very young child get hit by a teacher and just complained to the headmaster unfortunately you are not fit to be a parent.

[SteeleJoe]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

And how do those countries compare to countries that DO have corporal punishment?

You are even CLOSE to establishing correlation, let alone causality.

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[dave111223]

I'd be interested to hear some of these alternative discipline techniques that seem to work so well?

Let me give you a specific example and see how you'd handle it?

Little boy is swinging from the curtain ties (fabric used to tie curtains to the wall)

Step 1) Ask little boy nicely to stop and explain that swinging on them will break them

Result: Continues swinging

Step 2) Repeat step #1 five times (becoming progressively more stern)

Result: Continues swinging

Step 3) Gentle remove boy from swinging area

Result: Walks back and continues swinging

Step 4) Offer an alternative (would you like to play lego or read a book together instead?)

Result: Continues swinging

Step 5) Remove the curtain ties and put them where he can't reach

Result: Starts screaming then goes to pulling the curtains themselves

Step 6) Threaten timeout

Result: Continues swinging

Step 7) Put in timeout in another room

Result: Starts screaming and kicking the crap out of the door

Step 8) After a few minutes go in to ask if they are going to behave better

Result: Glaring and starts rolling around on the floor kicking

Step 9) More timeout

Result: More screaming and kicking

Step 10) Bring out of timeout and explain that he must start behaving better

Result: Bashes sister in head with a building block

Step 11) A swift smack to the ass

Result: Screams for 5 seconds then goes to playing building blocks with sister and starts behaving properly

Can you tell me what ground breaking method would be used instead of any of these?

I have to say after repeating step 1-11 several thousand times with the same results I tend to skip to step 11 fairly early in the process.

Edited March 24, 2013 by dave111223

[Almera]

^ You don't ask your child to stop.

You tell them to.

I have to say after repeating step 1-11 several thousand times

It took several thousand times of asking your child not to do something and you still didn't realize that you didn't know what you were doing?

Edited March 24, 2013 by Almera

[dave111223]

^ You don't ask your child to stop.

You tell them to.

I have to say after repeating step 1-11 several thousand times

It took several thousand times of asking your child not to do something and you still didn't realize that you didn't know what you were doing?

There I have updated step 2 to better help you understand.

P.S. Experience starting with "GET OFF THE CURTAINS!" instead of "Please don't swing on the curtains" does not alter the overall cycle.

I'm not saying that I use all steps in this order all the time. What I'm saying is these (and other variations) are what I would consider my "discipline arsenal", and if you are missing a physical option in your toolkit then you're really bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Edited March 24, 2013 by dave111223

[rgs2001uk]

^ You don't ask your child to stop.

You tell them to.

I have to say after repeating step 1-11 several thousand times

It took several thousand times of asking your child not to do something and you still didn't realize that you didn't know what you were doing?

And after telling little Johnny numerous times to stop and being ignored, now what?

[rgs2001uk]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

And how do those countries compare to countries that DO have corporal punishment?

You are even CLOSE to establishing correlation, let alone causality.

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Well straight off the top of my head, Singapore, dont see to many hoodies hanging round street corners mugging little old ladies of their pension money.

The Middle East would be another part of the world that doesnt seem to suffer from the tree huggers malaise.

Michael Fay got a shock to the system when they whooped his sorry ass.

[FDog]

toddlers do not know reason. You can't ask or tell them. A smack is a good thing. When they get a bit older you can try and reason but if they keep playing up then another smack.

Children must know there are repurcussions for their actions.

At the present time, in the nanny state western society they do not and it comes as a hell of a shock to them when they get belted by someone.

If I had a choice between a school where teachers could cane the students and teachers that could not then my kids would be in the school that did allow it.

[Almera]

^ You don't ask your child to stop.

You tell them to.

I have to say after repeating step 1-11 several thousand times

It took several thousand times of asking your child not to do something and you still didn't realize that you didn't know what you were doing?

And after telling little Johnny numerous times to stop and being ignored, now what?

Try to go back in time to start over with him.

Edited March 24, 2013 by Almera

[SteeleJoe]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

And how do those countries compare to countries that DO have corporal punishment?

You are even CLOSE to establishing correlation, let alone causality.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

Well straight off the top of my head, Singapore, dont see to many hoodies hanging round street corners mugging little old ladies of their pension money.

The Middle East would be another part of the world that doesnt seem to suffer from the tree huggers malaise.

Michael Fay got a shock to the system when they whooped his sorry ass.

OK, so you name one country and (vaguely) one region - neither of which have the sort of government many of us would necessarily aspire to (but a nice tight rein on the populace). And you cite an apparent absence of one type of social problem in the former and - I don't know what about the latter. And that is your attempt at both correlation, causation or both?

Wow.

Well, if we are to go by such absurdly simplistic and scant evidence, pardon me for pointing out the obvious but...Thailand?

Or India - no crime there? Or the UK up until the 90's - no problems with the youth until recently I guess? I what about those approx 20 states in the US where it's used - everything going well with the kids, eh? And so on...

Surely you CAN'T believe the simplistic and half baked stuff you are putting forth? If you think you have proven something, then I have just proved the opposite (when in fact neither of us have done anything of the sort).

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[MrHammer]

It's not the spanking as such that is the major problem, no lasting harm will be done if only once in a rare while, but the problem is that parents who are in favor of spanking usually use it because they are clueless, selfish and irrational about their children. It's like how small children misbehave when dragged along for shopping after a long day. How can this come as a surprise? The problem here is not solved by a quick smack, but by not bringing the child to the supermarket. God knows that I as an adult hate shopping groceries and so does children. Let mommy do her shopping at another times and bring your child straight home instead. Another problem of wanting to stay up and watch TV. Try not being a lazy couch potato yourself and only have the TV running when there is something you actually want to watch. The kid who hangs in curtains, hangs in the curtains because he is bored or has too much energy. Solution, go play outside with your kid or play with the dog.

What many are trying to do is fix symptoms of boredom, tiredness, hunger etc with corporal punishment and that is only going to create resentment. Children, even small, have a very strong sense of fairness. They can easily accept and understand punishment if it is just. But it is not fair to get mad at your child because you neglected their needs until they begin acting out.

Don't take them shopping. Play with them actively every day. Don't let them become couch potatoes and don't be one yourself. Bake delicious cakes (children can participate) instead of buying candy.

Kids misbehave because of their parents. If your child misbehaves get your missus to cane your behind because you are the one who is not behaving.

[dave111223]

It's not the spanking as such that is the major problem, no lasting harm will be done if only once in a rare while, but the problem is that parents who are in favor of spanking usually use it because they are clueless, selfish and irrational about their children. It's like how small children misbehave when dragged along for shopping after a long day. How can this come as a surprise? The problem here is not solved by a quick smack, but by not bringing the child to the supermarket. God knows that I as an adult hate shopping groceries and so does children. Let mommy do her shopping at another times and bring your child straight home instead. Another problem of wanting to stay up and watch TV. Try not being a lazy couch potato yourself and only have the TV running when there is something you actually want to watch. The kid who hangs in curtains, hangs in the curtains because he is bored or has too much energy. Solution, go play outside with your kid or play with the dog.

What many are trying to do is fix symptoms of boredom, tiredness, hunger etc with corporal punishment and that is only going to create resentment. Children, even small, have a very strong sense of fairness. They can easily accept and understand punishment if it is just. But it is not fair to get mad at your child because you neglected their needs until they begin acting out.

Don't take them shopping. Play with them actively every day. Don't let them become couch potatoes and don't be one yourself. Bake delicious cakes (children can participate) instead of buying candy.

Kids misbehave because of their parents. If your child misbehaves get your missus to cane your behind because you are the one who is not behaving.

While I can agree with most of what you say, as kids do act out more when tired or bored; I don't agree that this is the only cause and kids "only misbehave because of parents" is flatly wrong.

You say "bring them to play outside", so we go to the park and he immediately starts running to the dog sh*tting area across the street, although all the swings and climbing stuff is on this side, and there is nothing but dog sh*t over there...no amount of telling will make him stay in the park area. Trust me I can give you an example of just about any situation you can imagine.

If you have only had a kid that's is generally well behave and responds to your telling them what to do, then count your blessings. But remember when your parents always used to say "wait until you have kids"...once you get that kid...the kid they were taking about...all children are not the same, i know this because mine are as different as could be.

[candypants]

got to be the toughest jobs in the world teaching half/half kids here. They are a real pain the ass in restaurant with dads to old to care and mums who don't care what the kids do.

there has to be a reason a teacher administers the punishment, there has to be some deterrent the teachers can use. Hardly cat of nine tails stuff. The caning of the child recently in a school in nern plab wan got more likes on the Thai vid link than dislikes. Many of our home counties its banned so there's always that solution if little precious slips out the cotton wool world.

kids.jpg

i have read your post numerous times, and my only question is, are you mildly retarded or suffering advanced senile dementia?

i would also sincerely question whether or not mr hammer has ever actually met a 6 year old.

whether or not you like it, your children are a reflection of who YOU are.

i personally adore my child, and have never had reason not to do so.

other people seem to feel the same way.

so, if you are encountering problems with your child, why not pause and take a look in the mirror, because i can guarantee you, the child is not at fault.

Edited March 25, 2013 by candypants

[Marlow999]

How about naming the school? That would be a good start.

[Ijustwannateach]

Dave- your scenario is humorous and I'm sure that it can happen in reality if the child knows that he can outlast you, but the solution is to repeat the timeout and reward good behaviour consistently, and not have less patience than the child. If *that* doesn't work, then you may need to consult a child psychologist. I have been working continuously with children of various ages the last 15 years and while I have had to use my adult size to block a child's path, separate fighting students, or force a child to surrender a contraband object, those are RARE instances, and I have NEVER had to hit a child . Usually even if things are getting out of hand, even in large groups, the worst I have to do is raise my voice a bit. If you really have to use physical force routinely, it shows that your relationship with the child is *already* dysfunctional, or the child has such serious issues that both of you need help.

Most children want to be well-regarded by those around them, and if this is not the case there may be serious problems in the child's life.

[soundman]

How about naming the school? That would be a good start.

No thank-you. No naming and shaming is allowed on Thai Visa due to Thai defamation laws.