What Women Want!

[britmaveric]

Hello ladies...

I've just read the thread, and I must say that I think all you ladies are very sensible, you seem to know exactly what you want in a man!

Now.... how many of you actually stick to that list? Or do you still go for the "bad boys" even after all these years???

Even nice guys have a dash of "bad boy" in them.... don't you guys?

Uh Yeah...

[Patsycat]

I still cant quote so bear with me -

Old Croc asked - who will tell the boyfriend?

I re-phrase my comment:-

I want MY man...getting desperate!

gottitt?

but i wouldn't say no to Khall's three!!!!

[somchai jones]

After reading this whole thread, I'm a little dissapointed and I'd even go so far as to say dejected that cunnilingus expertise hasn't once been mentioned as an important quality in a man.

I count this as one of my greatest skills, a gift.

It's a little disheartening to see that it's not on anyone's list. Oh well.

[khall64au]

After reading this whole thread, I'm a little dissapointed and I'd even go so far as to say dejected that cunnilingus expertise hasn't once been mentioned as an important quality in a man.

I count this as one of my greatest skills, a gift.

It's a little disheartening to see that it's not on anyone's list. Oh well.

My list was actually what I want in my LIFE. If I were to make a list of what I want in a MAN, well let me think about that......

Edited March 21, 2006 by khall64au

[somchai jones]

After reading this whole thread, I'm a little dissapointed and I'd even go so far as to say dejected that cunnilingus expertise hasn't once been mentioned as an important quality in a man.

I count this as one of my greatest skills, a gift.

It's a little disheartening to see that it's not on anyone's list. Oh well.

My list was actually what I want in my LIFE. If I were to make a list of what I want in a MAN, well let me think about that......

[Boo]

ahh somchai jones, it needn't be said, it is a given

[game4shame]

some of the most intelligent, successful and articulate people I know dont have degrees and, personally, I would never judge intellect on academic qualifications alone.

Thats exactly how I feel abot it. Thank you, that was the perfect way to sum it up for me as well.

my pleasure

[khall64au]

some of the most intelligent, successful and articulate people I know dont have degrees and, personally, I would never judge intellect on academic qualifications alone.

Thats exactly how I feel abot it. Thank you, that was the perfect way to sum it up for me as well.

my pleasure

I must agree with you guys - to a degree . I spent 8 years in a committed relationship with a highly intelligent man who, so it happens, never gained a university degree. I wish he had of, though. He has wasted his valuable brain on get-rich-quick schemes that never-ever worked. Some people have business savvy and some don't.

In his case, he was an egotistical, but very charming and likeable character when younger - alas now, he seems to have wasted his youth and brains and is left with not much. He is still my dear friend, but I dearly wish he hadn't gambled his intellect for short-term gains. That's all!

[eddy-ham]

Hi ,

Nice to know everybody can write down what they want..........

But thats the problem nobody is perfect and we have to adapt and change as we get older, have children, move jobs, get fatter, get more stressed,.............move homes, have more children,have the mother in law vist, buy the pets, .........lose the job,move again.

You know if you will get on with somebody within 20min........after that its all luck and by the stars...

women from Venus men from Mars?

[SophiaP]

You know, I can understand why so many people wouldn't prioritise the possession of a couple of degrees in their lover, but if that's one of the things that you value, then fair play to you.

(I pretty much assumed that you were using that as a shorthand indicator of the kind of analytical skills and shared points of reference that someone with that level of formal education was likely to have, rather than getting excited by a string of initials just for the initials' sake.)

Anyhow, hope you don't mind me chipping in (being shockingly wet behind the ears on this forum), but I thought that it was an interesting question. So...

WHAT I WANT (In no particular order):

Health

Professional development

The chance to go on learning new skills

Friends

Travel

Laughter

Finding beauty

Intellectual and spiritual growth

WHAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN ANOTHER PERSON:

Intelligence (have to be at least as smart as me, or I won't respect them enough to fall in love)

Wit

Banter

Honesty

Passion (and not just sexual passion - I'm talking about getting really excited about movies, or music, or sport, or politics, or maths, or literature or SOMETHING, ###### it)

Compassion (need to give a ###### about other people)

Kindness

Openmindedness (need to be able to see both sides of the story, and be willing to change their mind)

And then, more specifically, I tend to be attracted to people who share some of my own loves - SciFi, Shakespeare, Musicals, TS Eliot, Jazz standards, Pop Culture...basically I'm a big geeky fangirl, and I find geeky fannishness attractive in others.

Really can't tolerate racism, sexism, homophobia or any of that crap. Just - can't cope with it. And I don't suffer fools gladly. But I don't care about toilet seats or tidiness or the perfect six pack.

[SophiaP]

...ooh. Guess I should have said 'darn it', then, above? Sorry about that!

[TRIPxCORE]

WHAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN ANOTHER PERSON:

Intelligence (have to be at least as smart as me, or I won't respect them enough to fall in love)

Ok now I am not trying to give you a hard time. I really am curious about this. How exactly are you going to determine that a person is at least as smart as you? The only way I know of to measure intelligence is an IQ test. Are you going to make potential suitors take one? Please elaborate.

[kat]

TripxCore:

For someone who doesn't put a lot of stock in educational degrees, you sure seem to cling to a more artificial measure such as IQ tests. Is this because you possess a good IQ score? IQ tests are controversial as a sole measure, even among highly-educated educators. Do you see the irony of your own argument?

I don't think SophiaP's comment about someone as intelligent as her is so outlandish. One does not need to administer an IQ test to find an intellectual match. It merely means that someone can engage and match her in conversation and original thinking. Someone who can maybe also show her different ways of seeing and looking at things from time to time, and who isn't afraid to discuss and disagree. And for me, this ability does not necessarily have to be from books.

[Donz]

Im lazy

I fart really loud

i smoke

i drink

i go out with the boy alot

I cant cook

I cant clean

i leave shit all over the floor

I hate chors

I like partying

Im the perfect man

[TRIPxCORE]

TripxCore:

For someone who doesn't put a lot of stock in educational degrees, you sure seem to cling to a more artificial measure such as IQ tests. Is this because you possess a good IQ score? IQ tests are controversial as a sole measure, even among highly-educated educators. Do you see the irony of your own argument?

I don't think SophiaP's comment about someone as intelligent as her is so outlandish. One does not need to administer an IQ test to find an intellectual match. It merely means that someone can engage and match her in conversation and original thinking. Someone who can maybe also show her different ways of seeing and looking at things from time to time, and who isn't afraid to discuss and disagree. And for me, this ability does not necessarily have to be from books.

I am not saying IQ tests are important to me. I simply wanted to know how she was going to measure a potential suitors intelligence.

[game4shame]

i leave shit all over the floor

I use the toilet mate - more hygienic

[gburns57au]

I was reading through these posts and ironic as it may seem but this song came on the radio...

"to dream the impossible dream"

[Boo]

nothing wrong with having a wish list but it's when you try to find the one who fits all of your wishes is when you stay single forever

[sbk]

True boo, so true. Mine came to me when I wasn't looking

Truthfully tho, I don't think too many of the "wish list" qualities that us women have put forth are all that outrageous and if men were honest, would probably top their list of desirable qualities too (past the t & a tho )

[Sheryl]

True boo, so true. Mine came to me when I wasn't looking

Truthfully tho, I don't think too many of the "wish list" qualities that us women have put forth are all that outrageous and if men were honest, would probably top their list of desirable qualities too (past the t & a tho )

No, they are not that outrageous at all, and most of the things on them, with only a few exceptions, are within an individual's control....qualities that one can choose to have or develop. So it seems odd to me (or perhaps a less than flattering reflection of the group in question) that so many men have responded that it's a pipe dream.....

While I'm at it, here's my list in more or less descending order of priority:

Integrity, honesty, ethics

Compassion and kindness

Emotionally mature -- looking for a partner, not a mother

Intelligent, well-read, well-informed (degrees not important per se)

Good sense of humor, likes to laugh

Respects women as equals (or better yet, perceives women as generally superior!)

Has a serious spiritual life/spiritual side (not to be confused with organized religion)

Open-minded, tolerant

Doesn't smoke or drink, or drinks in minimal moderation rarely

Loves animals and nature -- or, at a bare minimum, likes my cat and vice versa

Doesn't matter what he does for a living as long as it's honest. Doesn't really matter what he looks like. And he doesn't need to protect me from anything.

Actually this list is equally applicable to women friends and platonic male friends. It's just what I look for in people and strive to be myself.

[LaoPo]

Ladies: I haven't seen Khall64au online for about 30 hours (just checked)....that's strange.

I hope she's well; I sent her a (business)-PM some 2 days ago and she didn't answer and that's not like her...

If you know anything please let me know.

Thank you.

LaoPo

[SophiaP]

WHAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN ANOTHER PERSON:

Intelligence (have to be at least as smart as me, or I won't respect them enough to fall in love)

Ok now I am not trying to give you a hard time. I really am curious about this. How exactly are you going to determine that a person is at least as smart as you? The only way I know of to measure intelligence is an IQ test. Are you going to make potential suitors take one? Please elaborate.

Yes, whenever I find myself engaged in an enjoyable flirtation with someone, before things get too heated I whip out an IQ test and a pencil and demand that they prove themselves worthy of my interest.

Or, you know, maybe not.

I'll do you the honour of believing that you're not just trying to be awkward, and try to explain myself more clearly.

I don't base my assessment of somebody's intelligence upon specific preconceived criteria like their IQ or their education (although knowing that someone has a degree or two will certainly predispose me to expect them to be reasonably bright. But that ain't always the case, alas).

Still, I'm sure that you too have found that when we're getting to know someone, it does become clear pretty quickly whether they grasp ideas as quickly as/more quickly than/less quickly than we do ourselves. (Did they get the punchline of the joke in the movie? Did they see it coming from miles away? Did they need it explaining to them?) It becomes clear whether they have specialized knowledge or skills that we lack, whether they can hold their own in a conversation, whether they can keep us on our toes with quickfire banter, whether they can disagree with our ideas or beliefs and explain their perspective using logic and reasoning in such a way that they can make us reassess our own views.

You know - whether they're as bright as we are, or brighter, or less.

Perhaps this sounds a little obnoxious of me, and I'm sorry if that's the case. I'm sure it sounds pretty arrogant, actually - but I know myself fairly well, and I know that this is something that's true of me: smart people turn me on.

Stimulating my brain and challenging my ideas is sexy in the world of me. I mean, looking like Heath Ledger or Angelina Jolie - also sexy. But there's got to be a mind in there, or the prettiest packaging in the world is just not going to cut it. Wit and brains, though - that's what wins you the brownie points.

Wit and brains and heart, and I'm in trouble.

(And if they also like The Lord of the Rings/ Buffy the Vampire Slayer/ Batman/ Musicals/ Shakespeare/ TS Eliot/ GM Hopkins, can get worked up about apostrophe use or wax lyrical about a sunset ...man, I'm in BIG trouble.)

[LaoPo]

Ladies: I haven't seen Khall64au online for about 30 hours (just checked)....that's strange.

I hope she's well; I sent her a (business)-PM some 2 days ago and she didn't answer and that's not like her...

If you know anything please let me know.

Thank you.

LaoPo

I'm (genuine) worried about Khall; still no sign of her...anybody of the Ladies have her phonenumber so you can check?

If it's ok, please post.

Thank you

LaoPo

[Patsycat]

Its strange she is usually here everyday. i shall try and pm her.

I will keep you posted.

[khall64au]

Ladies: I haven't seen Khall64au online for about 30 hours (just checked)....that's strange.

I hope she's well; I sent her a (business)-PM some 2 days ago and she didn't answer and that's not like her...

If you know anything please let me know.

Thank you.

LaoPo

I'm (genuine) worried about Khall; still no sign of her...anybody of the Ladies have her phonenumber so you can check?

If it's ok, please post.

Thank you

LaoPo

Hey thanks for the concern Lao Po and Patsycat. I did indeed take a break (from my work and the computer) and ran away to Seonai & Donna's island for the weekend - ah the peace and quiet!

Have loads to do now to compensate for a few days away and my sister arrives from Oz tomorrow morning for a holiday here - so you may not see too much of me in the coming weeks.

Cheers all!

[LaoPo]

Glad your'e OK Khall....

LaoPo

[TRIPxCORE]

WHAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN ANOTHER PERSON:

Intelligence (have to be at least as smart as me, or I won't respect them enough to fall in love)

Ok now I am not trying to give you a hard time. I really am curious about this. How exactly are you going to determine that a person is at least as smart as you? The only way I know of to measure intelligence is an IQ test. Are you going to make potential suitors take one? Please elaborate.

I don't base my assessment of somebody's intelligence upon specific preconceived criteria like their IQ or their education (although knowing that someone has a degree or two will certainly predispose me to expect them to be reasonably bright. But that ain't always the case, alas).

Now why would someone having a degree or two predispose you to thinking they are reasonably bright? Do you believe only smart people get degrees? Do you believe it's difficult to obtain one? For the life of me I will never get how people feel this strongly about degrees. A degree is about as insignificant as an award for picking your nose. It means nothing. Unfortunately the world, the job world especially, doesnt see it that way and that is one of the major problems with the world. But that is a whole other topic.

I was asking this question because unless you are going to use an IQ test, which is the only way I know of to measure intelligence, how else are you going to determine it? Now some people think I place a great significance on IQ tests. That is simply not true. I bring it up because it is the only known way to measure intelligence, supposedly. I am not saying it is the be all, end all of intelligence so don't get me wrong about that. So you said you would just use your own observations to surmise if a person was intelligent enough for you. Ok then, thats fine. What confused me was the way you originally worded it. Originally you said that someone had to be, "at least as smart as me." That sounds pretty specific and exact so I wanted to know how you would determine it.

[SophiaP]

WHAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN ANOTHER PERSON:

Intelligence (have to be at least as smart as me, or I won't respect them enough to fall in love)

Ok now I am not trying to give you a hard time. I really am curious about this. How exactly are you going to determine that a person is at least as smart as you? The only way I know of to measure intelligence is an IQ test. Are you going to make potential suitors take one? Please elaborate.

I don't base my assessment of somebody's intelligence upon specific preconceived criteria like their IQ or their education (although knowing that someone has a degree or two will certainly predispose me to expect them to be reasonably bright. But that ain't always the case, alas).

Now why would someone having a degree or two predispose you to thinking they are reasonably bright? Do you believe only smart people get degrees? Do you believe it's difficult to obtain one? For the life of me I will never get how people feel this strongly about degrees. A degree is about as insignificant as an award for picking your nose. It means nothing. Unfortunately the world, the job world especially, doesnt see it that way and that is one of the major problems with the world. But that is a whole other topic.

I was asking this question because unless you are going to use an IQ test, which is the only way I know of to measure intelligence, how else are you going to determine it? Now some people think I place a great significance on IQ tests. That is simply not true. I bring it up because it is the only known way to measure intelligence, supposedly. I am not saying it is the be all, end all of intelligence so don't get me wrong about that. So you said you would just use your own observations to surmise if a person was intelligent enough for you. Ok then, thats fine. What confused me was the way you originally worded it. Originally you said that someone had to be, "at least as smart as me." That sounds pretty specific and exact so I wanted to know how you would determine it.

Wow. Dude. You really do have issues, don't you?

Granted, there are many different kinds of intelligence - I mean, if you want to get into a big debate about multiple intelligence theory we can certainly do that, but it would be veering away from the point.

In my list of things that I find attractive in another person I cited intelligence as being extremely important. For the purposes of this list, I am using labels like 'smart' and 'intelligent' which can in fact have a number of applications; I have elaborated already, to explain how I'm using these words, but I'll recap if you like. hel_l, I'll even elaborate, because although I think you're being willfully perverse (and you seem to have a massive chip about degrees), it's still an interesting question.

So, when I said "as smart as me" I was thinking about:

People who can talk sensibly and insightfully about a range of topics. People who can think analytically and rationally, and who are willing to change their views in response to new insights. People who get the joke, see the symbolism, notice the pattern, extrapolate sensibly and accurately...people who have learned how to use their brains. People who keep me on my toes. People whose wit makes me laugh out loud. People who know stuff I *don't* know.

IQ tests are fun, but all they actually show you is how well that person does IQ tests and they have absolutely no bearing upon this conversation. I already said that possession of a degree doesn't guarantee that a person is exceptionally bright - you seem to be upset that I didn't condemn possession of a degree.

Edited March 28, 2006 by SophiaP

[game4shame]

now now people, lets keep it civilized!!!

Wow. Dude. You really do have issues, don't you?

Jerry Springer eat your heart out - but you forgot whateverrrrr and talk to the hand!!

Edited March 28, 2006 by game4shame

[SophiaP]

now now people, lets keep it civilized!!!

Wow. Dude. You really do have issues, don't you?

Jerry Springer eat your heart out - but you forgot whateverrrrr and talk to the hand!!

...can you tell I've been working with Americans for the past year? My pronunciation of the letter 't' has been erroded almost into oblivion too.