OP

Don't know your age and it doesn't really matter but whatever you do always keep the majority of your money outside Thailand and just have a monthly "salary" for yourself and GF.

If you buy a truck put it in your own name and so on.

I am not saying that there isn't good Thai girls/people here, there is. I have a fairly large house and a truck and a couple of scooters here all in my wife's name but we have a kid and I chosen to trust my wife (that the point of marriage).

I am still working and my pensions funds are overseas so if the shit hits the fan big time I can bugger off and still survive.

My point is: Don't put all your money on one horse (GF + Thailand).

Good luck

This is sound advice and well-intended.

It is great that you are happy and you have obviously been 'bitten on the arse'. Been there done that.

Enjoy all these new experiences and move forward cautiously and slowly. That is not to infer anything disparaging to your GF and family but there are too many stories of failure foryou not to at least listen to the advice of others.

You are seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses at the moment - and there is nothing wrong in that, as long as you heed the advice now being offered. Things will change and the inevitable phase of frustration with the Thais will follow (especially if you are trying to get things done) - you may even come to despise some of their traits.

All that does not matter as it leads to sense of balance in all things Thai.

Happiness (for all concerned) is the number one objective whilst controlling the amount of capital and emotion that wish to 'invest' in Thailand.

Good luck, sounds like you have made a great start.

They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

But whats the bets he paid for all the material as well ?...

Sad to say in Thailand, the least of your worries is a broken heart.....some times it other bits of you that get broken on a permanent basis that would worry me..

I don't know if he paid for the materials, because he doesn't say. If he did, it's not much for three weeks of hospitality and an interesting village/community experience.

You're right that there are risks. We all take reasonable risks; without risks, there are no adventures in life.

T

They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

But whats the bets he paid for all the material as well ?...

Sad to say in Thailand, the least of your worries is a broken heart.....some times it other bits of you that get broken on a permanent basis that would worry me..

I seriously hope your not a frequent betting person friend because you lost that one, i never paid a baht for materials, i just built it for her and enjoyed the accommodation, food, a little sightseeing in isaan and generally gracious company as well as use of tools and car while i was there and also appreciate the offer to come back and stay without monetary cost (apart from flights and train fares to get there) whenever i like

Dang those nasty Thai's and their Jedi mind tricks making the OP doing things he doesn't want to do. These aren't the driods you are looking for, move along....

Hi Rik325i (BMW fan?)

That's some nice work you've done there and your description of the process reminds me of a DH Lawrence poem "We are Transmitters"

Don't let the naysayers get you down. What's the worst that can happen? They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

A good marriage is a lot of work. A good cross-cultural marriage is even more work, but you seem to be doing ok at this juncture. Don't allow too much doubts into the relationship and go with the flow.

As long as you don't burn all your bridges back home right away, you'll be fine.

Cheers.

T

hi Thakkar, thanks for the sound advice, yes im a bmw fan, i modified mine a few years ago http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3002876/1990-bmw-3-series/

im not some young blue eyed dreamer any more, after one failed marraige to a foreign woman, not so brief stays in a couple of other countries and many bad experiences im not about to fall headlong into putting all my eggs in the thailand basket as many of the other posters seem to assume

im just starting to branch out with building some furniture in scotland to sell as well as working fitting kitchens and fully intend to keep working here, ideally i would like to reach a stage where i can split the year working to contracts between the 2 countries and enjoy the best seasons of both and obviously try to keep a home base here for the eventuality that things do go bad over there

One of her other boyfriends, will be there next week.

Great cheap labourers Farangland visitors.

i wonder if her other boyfriends might get just a little annoyed at the fact that shes sitting at her laptop messaging me every spare minute she has when not sleeping, cooking or serving customers like she has for the past 18 months without me sending any money over to her instead of spending time with them

Has her Dad got a website ric?

BTW, Thai musics great. Adds to the whole Thainess thing.

no, her dad doesnt have a website, he has many contacts through his years running a house building company he only builds furniture when hes asked to do it more as a hobby than trying to seriously try to make a business out of it

Wow, doesn't sound like much of a holiday to me, but as long as you enjoyed it!

its not about holiday, its about getting to know their way of life and integrating myself into it, hopefully enriching all our lives as i do so, im no stranger to hard work, ive done it all my life, i have no delusions about ever becoming rich, all i want is a simple life within a family where i feel respected and loved and can live comfortably with a woman that i cherish

ps do you ever get used to thai music ????

Nope, never!

Integration ?? you will be tolerated but never accepted .So with houses being built ,businesses being thought about ,brother in law wine bar etc etc,i sense your in a world of hurt within 2 yrs ,i could be wrong but good luck with all that buddy

why would he never be accepted? going by your own bad experience ?

Wow, doesn't sound like much of a holiday to me, but as long as you enjoyed it!

its not about holiday, its about getting to know their way of life and integrating myself into it, hopefully enriching all our lives as i do so, im no stranger to hard work, ive done it all my life, i have no delusions about ever becoming rich, all i want is a simple life within a family where i feel respected and loved and can live comfortably with a woman that i cherish

ps do you ever get used to thai music ????

Nope, never!

More likely to be Morlam or Kantrum where the OP stayed............................... and definitely NEVER!

Wow, doesn't sound like much of a holiday to me, but as long as you enjoyed it!

its not about holiday, its about getting to know their way of life and integrating myself into it, hopefully enriching all our lives as i do so, im no stranger to hard work, ive done it all my life, i have no delusions about ever becoming rich, all i want is a simple life within a family where i feel respected and loved and can live comfortably with a woman that i cherish

ps do you ever get used to thai music ????

Nope, never!

More likely to be Morlam or Kantrum where the OP stayed............................... and definitely NEVER!

the place i stayed was Meaung Lopburi to be fairly specific, why, does it make that much difference ??

You've had some sound advice from some smart and experienced folks so while I could claim enough time in country and experience here to expound as well, I doubt I could improve on it much, if at all.

So I will confine my comment to two things:

You seem like a good guy with a good attitude and contrary to what many will tell you, that doesn't necessarily make you a mug and as long as you don't let yourself be one, being a good guy can really have many rewards here, small and very large (not that is why you are being a good guy, because good guys do it because they are good guys!) - it did for me. BIG time.

And the other thing: I wish your GF was my neighbor - I like the sound of her and her family and more importantly I'd be after you to do some of that fine work floor me...

why are so many people so damnably negative about this whole thing, surely you cant all believe that absolutely all thai women are out for the money that can be leeched from farang, sure there are a great many people that have fallen into this trap and have had bad experiences, i can understand that

For my part however i started speaking to this woman over a year ago online and decided to visit her after being invited to do so,being over 40 and having already been through the failed marraige and relationship mill, i went over with no expectations or delusions of love at first sight etc and we got on well, being a professional kitchen fitter i redesigned and rebuilt part of her restaurant kitchen for her to make it a little more practical for them to cook in at no cost to myself apart from a little of my time and was invited to pack my things at the resort i was staying at and stay at the families home where i helped out with the daily chores of running the restaurant, did some maintenance on the families vehicles, helped her father repair a couple of his old electrical tools and generally made myself useful where i could as i understand that they have a busy life and she cant afford to just take 2 weeks away from her restaurant just because i decided to visit.

on my second visit i built her her cafe bar as she wanted to expand her business, again at no great cost to myself other than some time and a little effort and again helped out with some of the general chores of the restaurant

as thank you the family took me to a small resort near issan, khao tao i believe, showed me some of the sights had a lovely family barbecue and invited me to drink with the male members of the family afterwards, i did offer to pay some towards the costs but this was refused as i was doing so much for them already

The family genuinely didnt want me to leave and are urging me to start up a furniture business there and are very understanding of the fact that i would like to get to know them, my gf, their culture and language better before rushing in to marraige

I know that these people are not backwards country bumpkins, my gf is very intelligent, her english is extremely good, she is a trained accountant, an extremely good cook and has very definate plans for her restaurant business, her mother is a very shrewd business woman when it comes to the financial running of the small farm and im pretty sure she is going to be invaluable when it comes to negotiating furniture pricing until i am capable of handling it myself

Both parents have noticed how happy wan and i are when we are around each other and also that while im not some young fawning puppy dog i am willing to help her with anything she needs me to do and that i am more than capable of maintaining the family home, vehicles etc

Is it then so inconcievable that they might just be more interested in their single over 30 year old daughters happiness and my ability to maintain and improve what they already have whilst building a business together with her ageing father who like myself loves to build furniture and tinker with other projects, even though im not by any means rich and have never concealed the fact ??

^^^^^^^^^^^

One of my favorite TVF posts.

They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

But whats the bets he paid for all the material as well ?...

Sad to say in Thailand, the least of your worries is a broken heart.....some times it other bits of you that get broken on a permanent basis that would worry me..

I seriously hope your not a frequent betting person friend because you lost that one, i never paid a baht for materials, i just built it for her and enjoyed the accommodation, food, a little sightseeing in isaan and generally gracious company as well as use of tools and car while i was there and also appreciate the offer to come back and stay without monetary cost (apart from flights and train fares to get there) whenever i like

Dont worry there are some bitter members trolling about..

Anyhow, she decided to go with painted MDF for the majority of the construction as the material is cheap and easy to work with

.

Great story BTW ... I wish you much happiness ... ... sharing something new with the Thai Culture and Family can be a rewarding experience ... keep your eyes open though ...

May I ask why you went with an MDF in what would typically be a wet work place?

Plus using timber in a country where the termites outnumber the mosquitoes.

Did you pay for the materials?

Cheers

.

Bench joinery in 40-45oC!

Been there,tried it, evaporated after an hour.

Bit like 325i's in my rear view mirror, M5 it!!!

MDF in Thailand up North?

Nice story.

Anyhow, she decided to go with painted MDF for the majority of the construction as the material is cheap and easy to work with

.

Great story BTW ... I wish you much happiness ... ... sharing something new with the Thai Culture and Family can be a rewarding experience ... keep your eyes open though ...

May I ask why you went with an MDF in what would typically be a wet work place?

Plus using timber in a country where the termites outnumber the mosquitoes.

Did you pay for the materials?

Cheers

.

the gf decided to go with mdf as she was on a tight budget and she could get the required size of bar/shelves that she wanted within the budget, it was all painted with acrylic paint after initial construction and silicone sealed after fitting, the timber worktops and shelves were all given 3 coats of varnish both sides before fitting on her fathers recommendation.

i didnt pay for materials and quite frankly was myself unsure as to how the mdf would hold up under the weather conditions they have there although the coffee bar is built inside the house

Wow, doesn't sound like much of a holiday to me, but as long as you enjoyed it!

its not about holiday, its about getting to know their way of life and integrating myself into it, hopefully enriching all our lives as i do so, im no stranger to hard work, ive done it all my life, i have no delusions about ever becoming rich, all i want is a simple life within a family where i feel respected and loved and can live comfortably with a woman that i cherish

ps do you ever get used to thai music ????

No!.. but i'm hearing Harps and Violins right now!

Wow, doesn't sound like much of a holiday to me, but as long as you enjoyed it!

its not about holiday, its about getting to know their way of life and integrating myself into it, hopefully enriching all our lives as i do so, im no stranger to hard work, ive done it all my life, i have no delusions about ever becoming rich, all i want is a simple life within a family where i feel respected and loved and can live comfortably with a woman that i cherish

ps do you ever get used to thai music ????

No!.. but i'm hearing Harps and Violins right now!

hey, no risk no fun, if i dont try it ill never know what could have been and ive already got enough "what ifs" to look back on

Hi Rik325i (BMW fan?)

That's some nice work you've done there and your description of the process reminds me of a DH Lawrence poem "We are Transmitters"

Don't let the naysayers get you down. What's the worst that can happen? They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

A good marriage is a lot of work. A good cross-cultural marriage is even more work, but you seem to be doing ok at this juncture. Don't allow too much doubts into the relationship and go with the flow.

As long as you don't burn all your bridges back home right away, you'll be fine.

Cheers.

T

This is one of the better replies I've read on TV about dealing with relationships. Nothing is ever certain no matter how much you plan. There will always be problems at some stage. It is how you deal with them that counts.Others have said that you should never put all your eggs in one basket. That is good advice everywhere. Anyone who gambles everything they own on the turn of a card deserves everthing that might happen. It just depends on whether you can accept what happens without complaining. Big risks sometimes get big rewards, but more often it ends up in huge problems.

I don't really understand the negativism directed at this topic. If you help someone without expecting anything in return then you will be rewarded by self satisfaction in a job well done. Creating anything has its own rewards and when nothing is expected in return you can be satisfided by a job well done.

They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

But whats the bets he paid for all the material as well ?...

Sad to say in Thailand, the least of your worries is a broken heart.....some times it other bits of you that get broken on a permanent basis that would worry me..

I seriously hope your not a frequent betting person friend because you lost that one, i never paid a baht for materials, i just built it for her and enjoyed the accommodation, food, a little sightseeing in isaan and generally gracious company as well as use of tools and car while i was there and also appreciate the offer to come back and stay without monetary cost (apart from flights and train fares to get there) whenever i like

yes rik your on your way to the funny farm,why dont you get intouch with me before your next visit i need some new doors and being in the business you can do them cheap but dont tell the family they are for farang and also i love my coffee,as i live in isaan you got wheels and tools,they will do a packed lunch geez rik your not an angel are you they are few and far between in lol.this story will keep me going for a day or two its such a boreing life here.meatboy.

Having an interest other than sitting around drinking is imperitive to surviving in a rural Thai area. Creativity has its own rewards. That is why builders, gardeners, artists, photographers and journalists do so well in Thailand. They have their personel interests to keep their mind busy. Men whose only interest is drinking will quickly lose their body and mind, and disolve into bitter old men.

They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

But whats the bets he paid for all the material as well ?...

Sad to say in Thailand, the least of your worries is a broken heart.....some times it other bits of you that get broken on a permanent basis that would worry me..

I seriously hope your not a frequent betting person friend because you lost that one, i never paid a baht for materials, i just built it for her and enjoyed the accommodation, food, a little sightseeing in isaan and generally gracious company as well as use of tools and car while i was there and also appreciate the offer to come back and stay without monetary cost (apart from flights and train fares to get there) whenever i like

yes rik your on your way to the funny farm,why dont you get intouch with me before your next visit i need some new doors and being in the business you can do them cheap but dont tell the family they are for farang and also i love my coffee,as i live in isaan you got wheels and tools,they will do a packed lunch geez rik your not an angel are you they are few and far between in lol.this story will keep me going for a day or two its such a boreing life here.meatboy.

Why be such an obnoxious turd? If the OP was working:read donating his time to father ray would you be such a "£$^ .The man has donated his time and expertise to help someone ,not looking for any real reward other than a little acceptance. How come everyone is so quick to look at the negatives in every story told ?

hey rik i forgot to ask do you have a w.p.

m.m.who rattled your cage.

Hi Rik325i (BMW fan?)

 

That's some nice work you've done there and your description of the process reminds me of a DH Lawrence poem "We are Transmitters"

 

Don't let the naysayers get you down. What's the worst that can happen? They "trick" you into giving them your labor. But you enjoyed the work and learnt some things from the old man, so it doesn't matter.

 

What else? She breaks your heart—well, in love there are no guarantees. That's why it's called "falling in love" and sometimes you get hurt.

 

A good marriage is a lot of work. A good cross-cultural marriage is even more work, but you seem to be doing ok at this juncture. Don't allow too much doubts into the relationship and go with the flow.

 

As long as you don't burn all your bridges back home right away, you'll be fine.

 

Cheers.

 

T

hi Thakkar, thanks for the sound advice, yes im a bmw fan, i modified mine a few years ago    http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3002876/1990-bmw-3-series/

 

im not some young blue eyed dreamer any more, after one failed marraige to a foreign woman, not so brief stays in a couple of other countries and many bad experiences im not about to fall headlong into putting all my eggs in the thailand basket as many of the other posters seem to assume

 

im just starting to branch out with building some furniture in scotland to sell as well as working fitting kitchens and fully intend to keep working here, ideally i would like to reach a stage where i can split the year working to contracts between the 2 countries and enjoy the best seasons of both and obviously try to keep a home base here for the eventuality that things do go bad over there 

Scotchland has a "best" season!!

Good story, thanks for sharing, you had a good time with what sounds like a good girl and family - lots of us have found that combination so don't mind the naysayers.

If I had known of and read TV 14 years ago I probably wouldn't have taken the chance on a 3 month holiday in Thailand and missed out on all that I hold dear today.

Sent from life with my Chinese HiSo please excuse errors in type or judgement :-P

First of all this should be a positive thread, you didn't throw money at her, you used your skills and the outcome looks rather good compaired to some work I have seen. They will respect you more for that, than the usual Western man that thinks buying a house gains him respect.

As for getting to know the family, it will take a lot longer, I lived on a farm in Issan for 5 years with MIL, FIL, GF sisters kids and other sister next door. I help build up the farm by inputting some money but once up and running we all saw a return and we all worked our backsides off to make money.

I worked the farm out in the sticks, the police knew I was working but their attitude was I was not your average lazy 10am Chang swilling Westerner and they really do leave you alone up in Issan.

I gave the family an oportunity to make money for themselves and they took it, the relationship fizzled but I made money, they made money and we still keep in touch with no hard feelings.

Your new GF sounds like she wants to make her own money, not just borrow your credit card, if she starts asking for big money then worry but now just enjoy it and go with the flow.

scully.quote i am not your average 10am.chang swilling westerner,you must have lived by me then.

The ladies from Lop Buri are very attractive and it is a city on it's own. I was told at one time Lop Buri also known as Monkey City, was actually going to be the capitol of Siam. The Lop Buri Inn has it's own beer there and not a bad brew. Have had a few headaches there.

You enjoy what you are doing mate and have a good time in Thailand, it's how you feel not how others tell you to feel. Obviously a lot on here have had a bad experience with girls and families. That's because they are immature and will continue to have bad experiences as they are the sort that know all and don't want to take advise. They are usually upset with someone else's good fortune. They would winge if they won the lottery.