Another Awful Cross-Border Relationship Story - Need "Legal" Counsel/Advise pl...

[sfbandung]

If you are real then I don't think you really want out. You seem to have an "answer" for every suggestion.

If she has behaved as you describe and you have not developed a passionate hatred for her then you have a bigger problem than her. Who cares if she kills herself? That isn't your fault. Cut off contact. That's easy. If she turns up at your house/work call the police and get a restraining order.

But I'm guessing you'll have a reason why you can't do this or a reason why it won't work.

Admit it. You like it.

[thongsuknork]

Firstly where are u from u are soft tempered and next did you have a physical relation ship with her if yes you should have courage to face all things i think u lag courage dont worry act smart all things u have complicated by calling her number of times in the initial stages s speak with her softly and do not buy any thing for her or oblige her any needs slowly she will go through if any legal comlications arise dont worry let t her go ahead speak to her parents and tell every thing about her and put un writing as an evidence by sending RPAD .

Good luck

welcome to Thai Visa Forum

[thongsuknork]

Hey forgot to tell u i am from India

[lowushatin]

"Dude" Thai woman finds a person in the US to hack you email? you still are "hacked"? I wish I could find that person.

Here, "Dude" seriously, (not a joke) use this as a password:

xWHO,4nMPs,Htu]CL+GB

problem solved.

Be careful as she might hire a friend to kill you. You will never see it coming. Gunshot to the head from a passing motorcycle. Very inexpensive in Thailand.

how much? how do you know?

[FritsSikkink]

I don't understand what you mean by 'my fairly high-profile public company' but I'm struggling to understand why you are balking at paying a measly 5,000 baht to a Thai lawyer for discussion. It's such as small sum of money and you get to know your rights.

He thinks a gold ring is very expensive too.

[Adeeos]

Contact your local police,,, tell/show them everything,, tell them you're worried for the safety of yourself, family, friends,,, You fear she'll beat herself up,, (or have someone do it),, then claim it was YOU,, Make a trip here,, to HER local police,,, tell them SAME,,,, file a restraining order,,, , document all your moves,, get reciptes from everywhere you go,, to prove where you were at certain times,,, CHANGE ALL PHONES, PASSWORDS, ETC,,,, I had 1 similar to this also,,, (I live in BKK),,, But NOT nearly as bad,,, she finally let go,,,, Her Initials aren't,,, M A are they?

Thanks Adeeos ...

Have done that already. No she isn't M.A

Are u suggesting I complaint in BKK police and get a restraining order IN Thailand?? Can't she use money & connections to get it annulled?

I think that a restraining order in Thailand,, simply means she has to LEAVE YOU ALONE!,,, Don't see how any court would annull it, since you're there,, she here,, it's not like she could claim you both run in the same circles, and may, "bump into" each other,,, either way,,, it will at least show HER,,, you're SERIOUS!

[kriswillems]

Find a new guy for her.

Or make a false skype account, flirt with her, and later on catch her cheating on you her by checking her skype history or my installing a keyboard logger. Tell her you leave her because she cheated on you.

Move home, change phone number, change e-mail, change skype account, don't let anyone know where you live for the next few months. If she comes to see you at work, call security.

If she can somehow contact you, ignore her, don't reply. If she threatens to kill herself, just ignore her. If she comes to your home in Indian, call the police.

E-mail can not just be hacked, even not by Americans ....

If you use the same computer as her or she has access to your computer, never logon to your e-mail anymore on that computer. Change your passwords and security questions, re-install the whole system, and make sure she can't access it anymore. The computer might have a keyboard logger on it.

[Adeeos]

"Dude" Thai woman finds a person in the US to hack you email? you still are "hacked"? I wish I could find that person.

Here, "Dude" seriously, (not a joke) use this as a password:

xWHO,4nMPs,Htu]CL+GB

problem solved.

Be careful as she might hire a friend to kill you. You will never see it coming. Gunshot to the head from a passing motorcycle. Very inexpensive in Thailand.

how much? how do you know?

He doesn't have to "know",,, it's fairly common knowledge from several reading sources,,, $5000 THB will get the job done,,,, Seriously....

[NCC1701A]

"Dude" Thai woman finds a person in the US to hack you email? you still are "hacked"? I wish I could find that person.

Here, "Dude" seriously, (not a joke) use this as a password:

xWHO,4nMPs,Htu]CL+GB

problem solved.

Be careful as she might hire a friend to kill you. You will never see it coming. Gunshot to the head from a passing motorcycle. Very inexpensive in Thailand.

how much? how do you know?

i read about it in that novel "private dancer"

[FritsSikkink]

How is she entering India at without you sponsoring her?

Don't need sponsoring for an Indian 'tourist' visa - at least for Thai nationals maybe. And since someone else asked ... the 2 month gap between trip's been gone for over 6/7 months now .. again maybe only applies to select nationalities, Thai being one - of course in the light of the renewed camaraderie between the 2 nations of late. But yes that's gone now, khap.

Ok I read loads and loads of questions to ME and hardly any answers to my 'specific question'. But I shall answer anyway ...

I AM Indian, yes - no posing here. I wouldn't go into proving etc (not that it will change any opinions if I did). So request you to just trust me on that - I am not a regular on this site and I didn't spend all that time writing one dam_n long story and feverishly checking replies from all of you for no reason. I didn't have to mention my nationality, but I did becos I was seeking a quasi-legal opinion and laws change by country so ... And yes many Indians use the word "dude" though you obviously wouldn't expect a call-centre addressing a customer as "dude", c'mon!

Clarification here on email hacking : Did I say she hacked all my emails (sorry, my bad). She hacked one and I figured that if it was so easy to hack then even if I change it she could do it again - so I have simply abandoned that email ID now and use it only for useless mails like newsletters etc. And yes she has had it configured on her smartphone and has visibility to all mails that come and go on that account. Lesson learnt - I am never letting this happen again - have double secured my other email IDs - have moved my bank papers from home to a locker.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes its clear I am unable to pull out of this forcefully like I probably should - its true I am gripped with so much bloody fear!!! I haven't ever experienced such things from a woman (never come across a sick and violent woman like this one). But to tell you the truth I've tried those brazen actions before like disappearing & becoming unavailable and the only thing that that has achieved is attract more feverish actions on her part. These things are NOT working ... they will not not work.

If I lock up my home and disappear : she can land up here. Legally speaking she can feign the "hurt & deceived woman" act then to the law I become a fugitive who's on the run after have ruining her ... blah blah blah.

If I switch off phones : she will call ALL my contacts - customers/friends in the middle of the night.

And I'd never be able to assault her physically - sorry can't do that at all.

And am not going to be on the run for months etc - can't be away from work that long.

And no I am not a "director in a listed company" - lol. If I was, I would not be here on a public forum asking help In my OP I said I went through a terrible period financially last yr involving the listed company I worked for - yes I was senior management. Anyway thats got nothing to do with this point.

Thank You!

Otto, you are not an Indian

[dunque]

Click bait - job done

[tubby johnson]

1. Change you phone nr.

2. Sign up for a new email, skype, etc.

3. Don't answer the door when she comes knocking.

4. Or move house. Simple

5. Encourage her to kill herself. The world will be a better place without the burden of that psycho, believe me.

[challenger99]

You could not sale your story because it is very common in Thailand. There are books to read about, but unfortunately only in German language (to order in www.der-farang.com) . Other member here are very right, immediately stop and run run run ... a Merc and house would be only the Sin Sod and they press you as a lemon until ATM is empty. Sorry for you

Edited August 12, 2013 by metisdead
Oversize font reset to normal. Do not post using overly large font.

[Malthus101]

This is the most pathetic, Beta male story I have ever heard.

I didn't even bother to finish reading it.

I don't know where to begin.

OK, here's 1 little bit of advice. "Change the password on your email" - <deleted>.

Tell this woman to get lost.

Never call here again. Change all your contact details, numbers and passwords. Email all your friends, family and contacts that are important to you and say your old email account has been hacked so you have a new one.

Sell the ring and keep the money or send it back to her.

I mean, do you have any concept of what it means to be a man?

The most lucky outcome of this is that she tries suicide again and actually succeeds.

YOU. NEED. TO. LEARN. FROM. THIS. LESSON.

MAN UP!!!!!!!

Edited August 11, 2013 by Malthus101

[hawker9000]

Tell her you have lost your job/company/money/house. An earlier post also mentioned the dowry- nice one. Try asking her for a loan of 5millionTHB. If you don't know how to change all contact details/passwords, spend the 5000THB on lessons for

this instead. Its not that difficult.

I was thinking the same thing. Either that or the gay gambit (tell her she was an "experiment" to see if you could lead the straight life, but you've decided you can't; if you can line up some guy to play the part for her, even better - should be good for some laughs once you get it all behind you; just be careful you don't wind up with a gay version of the same problem! You might have to do some, er, emm, "acting" yourself.... LOL). Since you've circulated her amongst your family & contacts, you'll no doubt have to get some of your friends to go along with the charade, but not all - just say you weren't ready to come out of the closet. Let her tell whoever whatever she wants - you can always direct explanations wherever needed later.

'Sounds like a good movie plot, actually.

Or maybe some exotic STD, or maybe TB, something along those lines (that she should be relieved she hasn't caught from you..............yet............). 'Got any doctor friends?

Otherwise, you're gonna' either have to wait while she wears down, or just a grow a pair I think...

[tubby johnson]

6. Man up.

You're looking ridiculous in your persistent failure to deal with that woman.

[samuiman100]

Hi,

Having myself experienced scary emotional manipulation in a former relationship, I do understand the very hard situation you are in.

So, I will not join those who just send you sarcastic remarks...

This said, I think your only option is to ask around for a good civil lawyer and visit him personally, even if it might cost some money.

If a solution can be found that way, I would say that the money is well invested.

A friend of mine, suffered a similar situation and finally found support from a Thai judge who made her back off.

He was introduced to this judge by a farang legal adviser.

Unfortunately, this was a long time ago and I could not trace back any relevant information, but it just proves my case.

So, forget about the cost and find a good lawyer, ( expensive lawyers are not always the best...) and learn what your real options are.

Good luck...

[simosiam]

an honeymoon in Nigeria could be an idea...

[cybie]

Okay...

1. Change e-mail address/provider.

2. Block her number on the phone. If you have a landline change provider.

3. Don't even use skype.

4. If she threatens to kill herself. Tell her to do it. Call her bluff. Once she sees you have no interest in her she'll probably cut back her threats. Treat her like a child. Don't give her any attention.

5. Speak to a law firm in Bangkok if it petsists.

[maxcatt]

Come to Thailand and get her a HOT MERCEDES (as in STOLEN).Then have your way with her a few times on the last night..fake a call that there is a Family emergency in Indiana ( where I think you are really from) and right before your plane leaves,,Rat her out to the Coppers and be sure and tell them there is cash and drugs in her apartment...and the in the seats of her stolen Mercedes...and that she has CD's of herself doing Porn in her computers and telephone and cameras..they will "confiscate" all electronics and lock her up...lol. Thank you for the e mini-book it is the 112,000th time I heard similar cases...but always good for a laugh.

[overherebc]

I am going to have rigatoni for tea. Beat that.

I'm going to help he gardener, who I pay, to cut the grass.

[ozyjon]

I'd like to know what town she lives in ( might run into them in the future) tell her you have no money, but if you told her too much about yourself, good luck,,, in my village there is a class the girls take to do just as you described, they meet a guy on line then proceed to get money out of them, as the guy can only come to Thailand for 2 weeks,, how much time do they have to work on the others,, you are being scammed again, and the girl is working hard on you because she knows you have the means, you must have told her, now you pay, get a lawyer or go broke.

[laislica]

Mate, if this is a genuine post let me tell you this, because perhaps it is not as crystal clear to you as it is to me: you don't need legal or any other advice. You have allowed this woman to take control of your life. Now you must take control back. This is very simple to do but it requires you to be decisive, positive, proactive and methodical. Sever all contact with this harridan from hell - I mean today. Have absolutely nothing to do with her ever again no matter what special pleading she makes to you or your own mind makes to yourself. Take all necessary steps to ensure you have a functional life. As someone who has a successful business you will know what steps to take to achieve this. You may have to make sacrifices, but it is absolutely necessary. If you do not do it today it will be harder tomorrow.

Good luck.

Along with the excellent advice above, have you ever thought of placing an advert in prominent BKK newspapers, nothing slanderous but simply stating that your relationship with her is over and you never want to hear from her again. That any debt she may arrange is up to her and you will not accept responsibility etc.

You could do the same in your own country too.

Also have a word with your local police and get them to understand your situation, that the girl is possibly unwell. (Possibly your neighbours and friends too - why not, the damage has already been done)

If she shows up and starts creating a scene, call the police who may then see it as a breach of the peace rather than a domestic tiff.

[laislica]

Also try Google, here are a couple of links, there are hundreds more.

http://www.wikihow.com/End-a-Controlling-or-Manipulative-Relationship

http://www.solotopia.com/toxic-love/

[bumbles]

She's a stalker. Cut all ties. Call the police.

[marell]

Changing details not helping @pattayadingo I repeat. If I disappear it aggravates her more and she resorts to more risky/outrageous attacks.

Also must mention this ... important

I am not at all interested in attacking her or doing any harm to her in anyway - that is not what I am seeking assistance with.

She isnt a regular bad golddigger girl - doesnt drink or smoke neither does she hang out at bars. Character wise she is clean as clean can get (one of the reasons I got drawn to her in the first place). I also know that she is a "disturbed" person - highly insecure, extremely possessive, very volatile and shameless when angry. She is doing all this becos she is in love and cant get over it - I dont think money is what she is after (I have offered and its been turned down before).

So my question isn't about how to get back at her with an exotic plan of revenge. I am dealing with a person who is sick and no matter how nicely or badly I try to explain to her its simply not working. And I need to move on with my life and need to find a lasting method for restraining this constant stress from effecting my life and my health any further.

She behaves like every dumped Thai girl I ever met.

The only silliness is your failure to avoid her, which makes her think you don't want to avoid her.

Don't answer the phone, don't answer the door, never be at home.

If you know your disappearance aggravates her you're not doing a very good job of disappearing. Disappear!!!

I have been giving your compelling situation much thought. And I have to admit that my previous suggestion was made in haste and is not appropriate. My apologies.

It's obvious that you should marry her. This is the only course of action that makes any sense. Everything you have decribed indicates this is indeed a match made in heaven. She is clearly in love with you and equally clear that you love the attention she lavishes on you. This lady shows intelligence, determination, creativity, devotion and an almost limitless capacity for hard work. What more could anyone want in a woman? You have shared so much together and have established a strong foundation for a successful marriage. Great happiness and a bright future awaits you. We should all be so fortunate.

So, disregard all the naysayers and follow your heart. True love is so hard to find, don't let this opportunity escape you. Best of luck, dude.

Edited August 11, 2013 by marell

[doublephil]

Many have questioned whether the OP is genuine or not. Because of my own experience I find everything you have written perfectly believable - so if you are genuine - don't worry about the stupid comments from those who are ignorant of such matters and you have my full sympathy for what you going through. What you have experienced is so similar to the nightmare I went through with my Thai ex-wife.

IMO this girl suffers from a condition called - Borderline Personality Disorder - or BPD for short. If you don't know about this - just Google it - there is a lot of information and sources of support on the internet. It is quite a common condition here in Thailand. It is rarely diagnosed professionally but if you read about it you will know whether her behaviour
fits the BPD pattern - and other peoples' stories will help you to get insight into your current predicament.

You MUST stand up to her. The core feature of BPD is the fear of abandonment - and that is exactly what you are trying to achieve - and she knows it. If she has BPD she will do anything - literally anything - to prevent the abandonment - whether or not it is legally or morally acceptable. She will tell the most convincing stories to other people to try to gain their sympathy and get them to help her. If she has brains and money - she is virtually unstoppable - so you really have to be very careful. My ex-wife spent over 2 million baht hiring private detectives and expensive lawyers and taking multiple lawsuits against me - over a period of 3 years - all of which failed because ultimately there was no truth in her allegations that were just a product of her paranoid BPD imagination.

Her best and greatest weapon - as you have written about - is emotional blackmail - threatening self-harm and suicide - to manipulate and control you. These are usually idle threats - but not always as you know - and if she is BPD she is quite capable of self-harm and attempted suicide - you can read about it on many websites. I have multiple experiences - and how many trips to the emergency room at the hospital. It creates a very serious moral dilemma for you.

BUT - you MUST call her bluff - or she will just completely control your life. You are NOT responsible for HER life - it is up to her - and you must stand up to her. You MUST protect yourself. You MUST change everything that you can - such as phone numbers, online accounts and passwords, etc. If they are hacked - keep on changing them. She will not give up - so you must not too.

You MUST tell other people around you what is going on - so that they don't talk with her or provide her with any information that will help her - that is SO important. You MUST get the local police involved and make a report that she is harassing you with all the details - so that next time she arrives unexpectedly you can call them and get her arrested/removed. If it is anywhere outside - it is in a public place - so don't let the police make excuses - it is within
police juisdiction. If necessary - get a court order in India based on what has already happened - to prevent her from coming to your house or your relatives' houses or from doing anything that is public disturbance or harassment in the law.

If you must come to Thailand - provide other people - if you don't 100% trust them - with false information about your trip and location - just in case she talks to them and they can't keep quiet. Be very careful about who you trust and what you say to people. Getting and buying personal information in Thailand is incredibly easy.

If she finds you in Thailand - and causes any kind of problem in public - go immediately to the police in the district where it happens - and --jengkwahm-- that is make a police report detailing exactly the what when where etc of everything that happened - with witnesses if possible. If you are married to her - the police may not allow it - but public disturbance is most definitely a crime in Thailand - so take a trusted Thai friend or lawyer to help you because it must be done in
Thai. My ex-wife got a 2 year suspended jail sentence for causing a public disturbance in Lamphun so I have some experience.

You can also get a court order in Thailand to prevent public harassment - but you must make the police report first. Usually the first meeting for advice with a Thai lawyer is FREE - only after they have assessed the situation and advised you - they will require money for some specific actions that you have agreed. So you can get advice from as many lawyers as you want - and then see which one looks like they are the most competent for what you want to do - and then negotiate the fees - and NEVER pay up in full in advance - agree part payment terms.

If all else fails - and you can't stop her - change your identity - yes change your name etc - get new ID, new passport and everything. It might slow her down for a while - but not guaranteed to stop her! People with BPD are not rational in the same way as others - so it is a waste of time trying to reason and be reasonable with them - they will just take you for more rides on their emotional rollercoaster. You MUST protect yourself and family from her. If necessary - use her own tactics on her - threaten her and tell her exactly what will happen - legally of course - if she continues what she is doing.

I wish you well for the future.

[xenophon]

suspect this post is bs. But, if not, don't come to Thailand for a while or you may find yourself involved in lengthy legal/criminal proceedings, real or invented. He wrote to her parents!!! OMG who did you think they would support. Never get between a fiancee's family and a pot of money

[Huayrat]

All i can do is laugh..

[ToddWeston]

Don't shower for a month, wear used clothes and look as grubby as possible, when you're on your next Skype call have your mates call you pretending to be a collection agent.

If all else fails give her the link to this thread.