Monkey Stole My Glasses

[britmaveric]

Monkey stole my glasses

I had a very disturbing experience last week when visiting a well known local temple astride a hill. As I and my wife – we are both in our late 60s – were going from one building to another, I suddenly heard a “Whoosh” before something snatched the glasses from my face.

Peering upwards, as I am very short-sighted, I could just make out a monkey disappearing into a tree. It had apparently “whooshed” down on a very long lead and a wire which connect two trees. While we were wondering what on earth to do, the monkey reappeared on a branch wearing my glasses before taking them off and hurling them 20 feet or so on to a rubbish dump at the rear of the complex of buildings.

The problem was that I need my glasses to drive the rented car and we were completely stranded. I tried explaining to a monk what had happened but he didn’t speak any English and suggested we buy some trinkets. Eventually, my wife managed to locate the very smelly rubbish dump but was unable to find my lenses before the light failed and darkness descended.

Eventually we had no alternative but to leave the car where it was in a lane near the temple and walk down the hill until we could catch a baht bus back to the hotel. Luckily, I had a spare pair at the hotel and next morning we journeyed back to the temple only to find that the car had been stolen. We checked and double checked the lane, but it had certainly gone.

We are now in the middle of police reports and insurance agents when all we wanted was a peaceful holiday in Pattaya. This monkey completely ruined my holiday and we certainly shan’t be returning to a holiday destination which treated us so badly. Arthur and Mavis Hetherington

Ed: You would have done better to phone the rental company to come and collect the vehicle after the monkey struck.

-Pattaya Today

Letters

17 April 2006

[taxexile]

I tried explaining to a monk what had happened but he didn’t speak any English and suggested we buy some trinkets.

even the monkeys and the monks in pattaya are up for kicking a foriegner when he is down.

this is a wonderful story , full of allegory and humour and tragedy.

its almost shakespearian.

[britmaveric]

Tax - one thing I don't get why did they wait til next morning to return for the rental? I'd been back as soon as I fetched my glasses.

[karazyal]

Monkey stole my glasses

I had a very disturbing experience last week when visiting a well known local temple astride a hill. As I and my wife – we are both in our late 60s – were going from one building to another, I suddenly heard a “Whoosh” before something snatched the glasses from my face.

Eventually we had no alternative but to leave the car where it was in a lane near the temple and walk down the hill until we could catch a baht bus back to the hotel. Luckily, I had a spare pair at the hotel and next morning we journeyed back to the temple only to find that the car had been stolen. We checked and double checked the lane, but it had certainly gone.

Hmmmmmm?? The car is gone and the monkey is gone, hmmmmm?

In a crime like this one, outside, it's always the monkey that did it! Unlike crimes inside mansions, then it's the butler who always did the crime!

[taxexile]

i wondered that too , probably because it was dark , they were in their late sixties , and they needed a nap after all the excitement.

this is a wonderful story , full of allegory and humour and tragedy.

its almost shakespearian.

all it needs is for a passing heavily tattooed and pierced mini skirted transvestite prostitute to take pity on the couple and pay their taxi fare back to the hotel.

Edited April 18, 2006 by taxexile

[Mobi]

When I read this letter the other day, the thought crossed my mind that the man could have driven back very slowly without his glasses, and even had his wife to direct him. ('left a bit; right a bit; full steam ahead', etc)

He probably wouldn't have driven any more dangerously than most of the drivers on the Pattaya death tracks.

Then the thought passed in the night......

[wolf5370]

Why didn't his wife drive? Very few farang women of that age can't drive (I mean legally - whether she can drive or not is probably subjective).

I suppose he didn't cover her as a driver when they hired the car - always a dodgy plan IMO, what if he had stumped his toe and could neither driven nor walk to the bus stop?

Also, why did he not have spare glasses in the car? My dad is in his 60's and now needs glasses. He has dozens of them 'cos he leaves the bloody things everywhere.

Maybe if they'd bought the trinkets then the monk may have helped them

A monkey once stole my son's glasses and snapped the arm (with its teeth) before throwing them away. We took them to an Opticians in a mall in BKK (he had a spare pair so we didn't hurry) - they fixed them gratis - with a smile.

[Kan Win]

I tried explaining to a monk what had happened but he didn’t speak any English and suggested we buy some trinkets.

even the monkeys and the monks in pattaya are up for kicking a foriegner when he is down.

this is a wonderful story , full of allegory and humour and tragedy.

its almost shakespearian.

It's almost like Scampee- arian. The wight-tink is on the wall. His style me tink

Ohh well, back to the Forums

[lamphun]

Arthur and Mavis Hetherington

Pass the Hovis, definately a spoof letter.

[MP5]

A number of the forensic science team will be liaising on this one!

Oh! my another busy week with all this monkey business and people being shortsighted you would think people especially tourists would be more responsible especially when they have a rental car in there care.

One of the sticky points in contention is that they belived the monk was enticing them to buy trinkets!

Hmm! He didn't understand English but they understood him!

We're hoping to have an Iden-T-Kit photo of the monkey available as soon as we complete another threads requirement for a Thai male nick named only but will be obvious with his face cleanly shaved.

Our colleagues are looking at any possible connection between the car theft and the glasses!

Possible gang associations!

[astral]

I expect the police will be pursing a monkey that is making a spectacle of itself.

Edited April 18, 2006 by astral

[chuckd]

The way this letter is written reminds me of the "short story" contest. The contest was to have a short story written that had religion, sex and mystery involved in the plot.

The winner was...."My God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

[seonai]

You got it Lamphun, it's a spoof. Newspapers do it all the time

[magic]

jesus, that headline made me laugh!

I will have to call the monkey police!

I'm astonished at how low the monkeys have stooped!

That monkey should be ashamed of itself!

Shame on you monkey! SHAME!

[soi unwise]

How can he be sure it was a monkey ???

By his own admission he was blind.And a monkey woulk know that it is better to steal a pair of sunglasses than some prescription lenses,of no use to him !!!

I suspect this man works for the blackpool tourism authority and is blackballing Pattaya to recover the lost people of the tower.

Feed him to the lions,crucify him !

[MisterFingers]

This is an easy one for me.

They crashed the car.

Got rid of the car.

Dreamed up some story about a monkey.

Tried to make it look like the car got stolen by no fault of theirs.

Insurance covers the car.

And they don't pay for the damges,from the crash due to his terrible driving.

End of story.

Just a thought, I don't wear glasses.

But how many people go on vacation with two pairs of glasses?

[Pattaya_Fox]

It really was unfair of Arthur and Mavis to allow the monkey to wear glasses when it`s eyes had not been properly tested........Using the wrong prescription lenses could have damaged it`s sight.

Well at least they won`t be back again.....what good news and three cheers for the monkey hip hip.........and congratulations to the monkey for hatching such a fabulous plot in order to steal their car

By the way.....did the monkey manage to drive all the way back up to Lopburi?

[Pattaya_Fox]

Just to update you.....the monkey got safely back home to Lopburi (monkey City)...he managed to sell the car to a German who was carrying two bags........but because it was a black one he got top price.

The monkey and his family are now speaking to a man who resembles Margaret Thatcher as they have been told that he has a house and business which he wishes to give away

[penzman]

A gibbon tried to steal my camera last week in Chumphon, I think he's still blind from the multi-burst flash session he got after the attempt.

[Maigo6]

The monkey and his family are now speaking to a man who resembles Margaret Thatcher as they have been told that he has a house and business which he wishes to give away

Really?

I own a Business ?

It's amazing what one can learn on an internet forum. One day I will know as much about myself as Pattaya Fox does.

[Gary A]

A monkey stole my car in Prachuap Kirikhan. Well, he really didn't steal it. He just sat on the hood and wouldn't let me near the car. That monkey had teeth at least an inch long and bared them every time I got close. I thought about throwing rocks at him but didn't want to damage my car.

There was a fruit vendor near us so I went and bought some bananas. I went back and threw him a banana. He ignored it and a smaller monkey ran off with it. This same thing happened until I was out of bananas. I went back to the fruit vendor and he was grinning. He told my wife that if I wanted the monkey off the car I would have to throw him a bunch rather than one or two. That worked and we were on our way. I REALLY think that fruit vendor had that monkey trained and I got scammed.

[jdinasia]

This is an easy one for me.

They crashed the car.

Got rid of the car.

Dreamed up some story about a monkey.

Tried to make it look like the car got stolen by no fault of theirs.

Insurance covers the car.

And they don't pay for the damges,from the crash due to his terrible driving.

End of story.

Just a thought, I don't wear glasses.

But how many people go on vacation with two pairs of glasses?

actually I always take 3 pair of glasses when I go on vacation .... 2 regular and one polarized sunglasses

[Maigo6]

A monkey stole my car in Prachuap Kirikhan. Well, he really didn't steal it. He just sat on the hood and wouldn't let me near the car. That monkey had teeth at least an inch long and bared them every time I got close. I thought about throwing rocks at him but didn't want to damage my car.

There was a fruit vendor near us so I went and bought some bananas. I went back and threw him a banana. He ignored it and a smaller monkey ran off with it. This same thing happened until I was out of bananas. I went back to the fruit vendor and he was grinning. He told my wife that if I wanted the monkey off the car I would have to throw him a bunch rather than one or two. That worked and we were on our way. I REALLY think that fruit vendor had that monkey trained and I got scammed.

Haha...Good story Gary.

[barryofthailand]

All I can say is don't go to hua Hin. Lots of Monkey there. Yjis was a great story. I couldn't stop laughing.

Barry

[LaoPo]

A monkey stole my car in Prachuap Kirikhan. Well, he really didn't steal it. He just sat on the hood and wouldn't let me near the car. That monkey had teeth at least an inch long and bared them every time I got close. I thought about throwing rocks at him but didn't want to damage my car.

There was a fruit vendor near us so I went and bought some bananas. I went back and threw him a banana. He ignored it and a smaller monkey ran off with it. This same thing happened until I was out of bananas. I went back to the fruit vendor and he was grinning. He told my wife that if I wanted the monkey off the car I would have to throw him a bunch rather than one or two. That worked and we were on our way. I REALLY think that fruit vendor had that monkey trained and I got scammed.

I think your'e right here; isn't it great how inventive some Thais are to make a buck or two?

Good story to tell your friends though

BTW, did the monkey look like this one?

LaoPo

[kat]

It really was unfair of Arthur and Mavis to allow the monkey to wear glasses when it`s eyes had not been properly tested........Using the wrong prescription lenses could have damaged it`s sight.

Well at least they won`t be back again.....what good news and three cheers for the monkey hip hip.........and congratulations to the monkey for hatching such a fabulous plot in order to steal their car

By the way.....did the monkey manage to drive all the way back up to Lopburi?

Just to update you.....the monkey got safely back home to Lopburi (monkey City)...he managed to sell the car to a German who was carrying two bags........but because it was a black one he got top price.

The monkey and his family are now speaking to a man who resembles Margaret Thatcher as they have been told that he has a house and business which he wishes to give away

no, no I think you got it all wrong. I think the monkey stole the car as a bid to make it to Lop buri in time to register as a last-minute candidate in the recent election.

[MP5]

no, no I think you got it all wrong. I think the monkey stole the car as a bid to make it to Lop buri in time to register as a last-minute candidate in the recent election

[LaoPo]

I think the monkey had to feed his/her babies and needed more than just 1 or 2 lousy bananas

LaoPo

[Kan Win]

We love Sweetcorn

No lousy bananas for us