[Opinion. This article caused me to reflect on what we leave behind. Donnie & Bennie will go down in history, you & I won’t. In fact, most who are remembered by history are those that were most evil. 

The people on those planes and who died in the Towers are long forgotten except by their families.

My father always said that the only way we live on is when the anecdotes which marked our lives are told. When those who cannot remember those anecdotes, you are well & truly dead.

The legacy I’ve nurtured is by acting against war and injustice. I am unyielding in this pursuit but with no hate or anger in my heart. I just do what is necessary no matter the consequences.

And you? What will you be remembered for?]

What legacy do we leave behind when we die? As Sam Neill taught me, it’s more about sweetness than ego

As men we’re often taught to chase lives defined by vanity and hollow expressions. But genuine decency lasts far longer than any name on a building

Clarke Gayford

The Guardian: 18 Aug 2026

SOURCE: https://www.theguardian.com/world/commentisfree/2026/aug/18/clarke-gayford-sam-neill-death-life-legacy-of-decency

Occasionally, in our lives, there are markers that arrive with enough strength to hop us off the treadmill just long enough to remind ourselves that everyone’s race has a finish line, and none of us are getting out of this jolly for free.

One of these blots is often when someone we know passes away.

I always find the saddest part of a funeral the idea that the deceased will never hear the nice words being shared around the room in that moment. Our online world has enhanced this grieving process with posthumous accolades flowing from friends and strangers alike, creating yet more space for others to add comment as well. These modern outpourings help shape a fuller picture of the person we’ve just lost and what that person meant to others.

The recent death of the New Zealand acting legend Sam Neill is one such marker for so many of us. It was in the outpouring of words for Sir Sam after his death that we got a better glimpse of the person behind the actor, and a wonderful mosaic of a life properly lived.

In New Zealand’s Māori culture, there is a saying that “the kumara (sweet potato) never speaks of its own sweetness”, an adage Sam lived by. Those who read and listened to the many tributes for him all got to collectively enjoy this hidden sweetness, learning how he had selflessly affected those in his orbit and beyond. That’s not a legacy of ego, but a legacy of presence and genuine human decency.

Some men (and it’s nearly always men) spend their life striving for a tainted version of legacy. It presents in the extremes of authoritarianism, with insatiable desires to have names on buildings, excessive money in banks or statues in streets. Men, who may be trying to soothe the gnawing hole left by the lack of attention from their own dads, who were perhaps absent as they too chased straw deity legacies of their own.

I will be remembered by my descendents. They are the only ones that matter.

The rest is irrelevant.

Only immediate family and possibly very close friends matter.

Everyone else, it doesn't matter. Everyone's perception of you is different. And people's perceptions are often warped. And you don't care what people think.

Unless you were famous and left a legacy behind for the masses ... most of us haven't.

Fun fact: many people will remember Trump as a pedo / grifter / failed casino owner. Even if the GDP goes up 40% while he's in power.

A lot of people hate me. I don't even know why. Lol !!

Edited 3 hours ago3 hr by save the frogs

No memory for the average person lasts more than one or two generations.

I remember the name of the first Australian conscript who was killed in Vietnam. Errol Wayne Noack.

He is remembered in Wikipedia, and by AI. Even AI cannot tell me who were the second and third conscripts killed in Vietnam, even though their lives are just as significant.

Depends on whether you believe in further lives, as do Buddhists. I've warned people never to squash caterpillars etc, in case it's me in my next life....