Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

***

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

***

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?

A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

***

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

***

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?

A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

***

Q: Why do men fart more than women?

A: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

***

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

***

Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A: A woman that won't do what she's told.

***

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

A: Divorced.

***

Q: Why do men die before their wives?

A: They want to.

***

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Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man

doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

***

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

***

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I Don't Like to interrupt her.

***

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by

90%. It 's called a Wedding Cake.

***

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering

***

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

***

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

***

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for 4 days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

***

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. The all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

***

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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Kan Win:-

and the best for LAST

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

(Duh!)

Cheers

P.S. Sorry Ladies, I could not help myself in posting these.

Quote: "P.S. Sorry Ladies, I could not help myself in posting these"

and I couldn't help myself laughing at them out loud!!!!

why sorry?you have said nothing less than 100% truth.

Edited July 27, 200916 yr by babuhavas