Flirting

[meemiathai]

I think thaibebop started a very good thread. Flirting has always been one of the most contradicting issues I find in life.

How do people ever become partners, lovers or husbands and wives? If there is no flirting involved? But if you flirt, you risk being called dirty.

Also, if you are old or ugly and you flirt, you are dirty and bad. If you are good looking and you flirt, you are sexy. Oh just how contradicting!!

I very rarely flirt, actually almost never. It's not that I don't like to, it's that I'm afraid that they might not like it.

And by the way, bebop, I don't think it's necessary to lie when one flirts. One can be honest when one flirts, just telling how one feels.

[jdinasia]

gay men are masters of flirting ... on almost every level ... and it is simply social interaction

I read your two examples above and in situation #1 the behavior of the employees flirting with the customer is a bit wrong ... but only a bit :-)

Yes, wrong, that's not where they are there for.

The second situation just isn't wrong at all

Yes, it is. It assumes that I am incapable of controling my sex drive, that the second she pushes her goods in my face to convince me to help her I will not be able to say no. If a man acted this way to a woman he would be looked down upon, am I wrong?

Yes you are wrong A bit of flirtation only acts as a social lubricant ... unless you are so insecure that you think you CANNOT control yourself then it is a game only ..If you know you can control yourself and trust me she probably knows that you can too .. then no harm no foul

Though in niether example do I see it as "putting on airs" ... it's not like lying to manipulate someone ... they didn't say "I only work here for fun ... want to go out to my yacht next weekend for a day-cruise?" Oh and how about a nooner?

Waitresses flirt for bigger tips .... Customers flirt for the excitement of possibility even when they no nothing is gonna come out of it ... (and pay bigger tips often :-)

Not all.

It is entirely OK to flirt with the bosses wife at a cocktail party (ONCE! and only in the presence of the boss!)

hel_l ... I've even had bosses (VERY str8 Syrian guys) that I flirted with at company parties in front of THEIR wives ... mainly for the look on their faces ... you just gotta see it ... but they hired me knowing I was the best salesman around ... and sales is about 2 things ... getting the customer happy and off-balance :-)

I would call this unprofessinal and if I was your boss and this was something that you continued to do I would have a talk about your behavior. You don't bring sex into business.My boss and my co-workers at that time were all incorrigible ... but again your definition is wrong ... "My what a lovely dress you have on Mrs B ..." would be considered by many to be flirting ... and in a way it is ... but it is also nice ... and can have no ulterior motive

BTW, I am not trying to be insulting, please don't take it that way.

[ourmanflint]

I spend every day of my working life flirting.... it's like breathing to me... I hardly know I'm doing it, when it's natural it is just part of the everyday rhythym of life.

I think what you're talking about the contrived flirting and/or bragging for some purpose or other... is pretty sad but sad people have no life!!

[thaibebop]

I think thaibebop started a very good thread. Flirting has always been one of the most contradicting issues I find in life.

How do people ever become partners, lovers or husbands and wives? If there is no flirting involved? But if you flirt, you risk being called dirty.

Also, if you are old or ugly and you flirt, you are dirty and bad. If you are good looking and you flirt, you are sexy. Oh just how contradicting!!

I very rarely flirt, actually almost never. It's not that I don't like to, it's that I'm afraid that they might not like it.

And by the way, bebop, I don't think it's necessary to lie when one flirts. One can be honest when one flirts, just telling how one feels.

Thank you for bring up those points. I am glad to see that someone understands what I am talking about.

gay men are masters of flirting ... on almost every level ... and it is simply social interaction

I read your two examples above and in situation #1 the behavior of the employees flirting with the customer is a bit wrong ... but only a bit :-)

Yes, wrong, that's not where they are there for.

The second situation just isn't wrong at all

Yes, it is. It assumes that I am incapable of controling my sex drive, that the second she pushes her goods in my face to convince me to help her I will not be able to say no. If a man acted this way to a woman he would be looked down upon, am I wrong?

Yes you are wrong A bit of flirtation only acts as a social lubricant ... unless you are so insecure that you think you CANNOT control yourself then it is a game only ..If you know you can control yourself and trust me she probably knows that you can too .. then no harm no foul

Too much of a change to become offensive.

Though in niether example do I see it as "putting on airs" ... it's not like lying to manipulate someone ... they didn't say "I only work here for fun ... want to go out to my yacht next weekend for a day-cruise?" Oh and how about a nooner?

Waitresses flirt for bigger tips .... Customers flirt for the excitement of possibility even when they no nothing is gonna come out of it ... (and pay bigger tips often :-)

Not all.

It is entirely OK to flirt with the bosses wife at a cocktail party (ONCE! and only in the presence of the boss!)

hel_l ... I've even had bosses (VERY str8 Syrian guys) that I flirted with at company parties in front of THEIR wives ... mainly for the look on their faces ... you just gotta see it ... but they hired me knowing I was the best salesman around ... and sales is about 2 things ... getting the customer happy and off-balance :-)

I would call this unprofessinal and if I was your boss and this was something that you continued to do I would have a talk about your behavior. You don't bring sex into business.My boss and my co-workers at that time were all incorrigible ... but again your definition is wrong ... "My what a lovely dress you have on Mrs B ..." would be considered by many to be flirting ... and in a way it is ... but it is also nice ... and can have no ulterior motive

I will admit the dress comment could be flirting but only one makes it so, with tone of voice and body langauge, two things which I think we all understand but are hard to convey on-line, otherwise it's just a nice thing to say.

BTW, I am not trying to be insulting, please don't take it that way.

Kayo! You crazy, mofo!

[khall64au]

Let me get this straight Thaibebop : you don't like flirting, Yes. you don't like sex Never said that. and you don't like being young? Where did you get that idea? I started a thread about immortality even.

How did you meet your wife? Was there not a degree of flirting involved?

No. I was nothing but myself and only myself. I spoke to her as an equal and refused to treat her as something to be had. We had conversations just like the kind that occur in this forum, meaning nothing behind the words other than the meaning they were meant to convey as defined by the English dictionary.

You said these things... I know you did! Would I quote them otherwise? But, I don't have time to go searching for evidence. The TRUTH is out there, Bops! You said it, and you know it!!! In a US court of law you must now prove your innocence!

[kayo]

the truth was swiped out of guantanemo by the aliens, khall.

There´ all here at the lake at the mo`.

[Glauka]

I don´t mind some flirting if the guy is good at it i even finding amusing....but one thing i don´t like is when i guy is trying to flirt with more than one at the same time...

when they try to impress most of the girls on a room...i just get bored....

But i must admit that some people are very good at it...

however i am always attracted to men who seem mature and don´t try to impress anyone...the quiet in a party, sitting in the corner hardly talking to anyone...and looking at you with this look which makes you wonder...does he like me or does he not like me?

Edited April 26, 2006 by Glauka

[thaibebop]

Let me get this straight Thaibebop : you don't like flirting, Yes. you don't like sex Never said that. and you don't like being young? Where did you get that idea? I started a thread about immortality even.

How did you meet your wife? Was there not a degree of flirting involved?

No. I was nothing but myself and only myself. I spoke to her as an equal and refused to treat her as something to be had. We had conversations just like the kind that occur in this forum, meaning nothing behind the words other than the meaning they were meant to convey as defined by the English dictionary.

You said these things... I know you did! Would I quote them otherwise? But, I don't have time to go searching for evidence. The TRUTH is out there, Bops! You said it, and you know it!!! In a US court of law you must now prove your innocence!

I said I wished that my sex drive would go away, I never said I didn't like sex. I might be a fcked up individual but I am a MAN!!!

[meemiathai]

however i am always attracted to men who seem mature and don´t try to impress anyone...the quiet in a party, sitting in the corner hardly talking to anyone...and looking at you with this look which makes you wonder...does he like me or does he not like me?

Hey that's me! That's me! I'm like that!

Hello! "sweet as honey" Nice to see you again! You must've been very busy.

Oh, just stepped on my toes! Shit! Did I just flirt?

[ourmanflint]

I don´t mind some flirting if the guy is good at it i even finding amusing....but one thing i don´t like is when i guy is trying to flirt with more than one at the same time...

when they try to impress most of the girls on a room...i just get bored....

But i must admit that some people are very good at it...

however i am always attracted to men who seem mature and don´t try to impress anyone...the quiet in a party, sitting in the corner hardly talking to anyone...and looking at you with this look which makes you wonder...does he like me or does he not like me?

Yes that's me as well... like I said flirting is just for fun, it should be spread around liberally between a good few girls... ( not the whole room dear... I'm not a tart!! ) I wouldn't want to concentrate all my flirting on just one woman, she might just explode...... or worse still, she might actually fall for it!!

[Glauka]

however i am always attracted to men who seem mature and don´t try to impress anyone...the quiet in a party, sitting in the corner hardly talking to anyone...and looking at you with this look which makes you wonder...does he like me or does he not like me?

Hey that's me! That's me! I'm like that!

Hello! "sweet as honey" Nice to see you again! You must've been very busy.

Oh, just stepped on my toes! Shit! Did I just flirt?

hello!!!! it´s been so long How are you? Indeed i am very busy.... where have you been?

[Glauka]

Yes that's me as well... like I said flirting is just for fun, it should be spread around liberally between a good few girls... ( not the whole room dear... I'm not a tart!! )

hmmmm what? a tart? no you are not a tart you are just amusing

I wouldn't want to concentrate all my flirting on just one woman, she might just explode...... or worse still, she might actually fall for it!!

Or maybe she realize that you are not that as charming after some hours of showing off....

[Miami Bob]

Any guy who doesn't like flirting shouldn't hang around in the bars. It's the girls job to flirt with customers. Anyway it's fun. Lighten up!

[donna]

i think we ALL flirt to a degree. it can be so subtle that many people other than the flirtee would not pick up on it.

it fun. it makes you feel alive. it gives you confidence. and above all ITS HARMLESS.

flirting and sleaziness are two different things in my opinion.

on this board, there is a huge amount of flirting going on. who cares though? its just words. nobody gets hurt by it.

so, go on, all you pretty girls and spunky men (yes, its an austrlian term) go and flirt your cute butts off!

have a nice day!

[sylvafern]

i think we ALL flirt to a degree. it can be so subtle that many people other than the flirtee would not pick up on it.

it fun. it makes you feel alive. it gives you confidence. and above all ITS HARMLESS.

flirting and sleaziness are two different things in my opinion.

on this board, there is a huge amount of flirting going on. who cares though? its just words. nobody gets hurt by it.

so, go on, all you pretty girls and spunky men (yes, its an austrlian term) go and flirt your cute butts off!

have a nice day!

Totaly agree with this

[meemiathai]

however i am always attracted to men who seem mature and don´t try to impress anyone...the quiet in a party, sitting in the corner hardly talking to anyone...and looking at you with this look which makes you wonder...does he like me or does he not like me?

Hey that's me! That's me! I'm like that!

Hello! "sweet as honey" Nice to see you again! You must've been very busy.

Oh, just stepped on my toes! Shit! Did I just flirt?

hello!!!! it´s been so long How are you? Indeed i am very busy.... where have you been?

'Pusy cat pusy cat, where have you been. I have been to London to look at the Queen.'

I am good. Actually after coming back from a holiday in England and Italy in January, I lost the habit of looking into the computer for a while. Only picked it up back recently.

[kat]

i think we ALL flirt to a degree. it can be so subtle that many people other than the flirtee would not pick up on it.

it fun. it makes you feel alive. it gives you confidence. and above all ITS HARMLESS.

flirting and sleaziness are two different things in my opinion.

on this board, there is a huge amount of flirting going on. who cares though? its just words. nobody gets hurt by it.

so, go on, all you pretty girls and spunky men (yes, its an austrlian term) go and flirt your cute butts off!

have a nice day!

Totaly agree with this

ditto!

however i am always attracted to men who seem mature and don´t try to impress anyone...the quiet in a party, sitting in the corner hardly talking to anyone...and looking at you with this look which makes you wonder...does he like me or does he not like me?

Hey that's me! That's me! I'm like that!

Hello! "sweet as honey" Nice to see you again! You must've been very busy.

Oh, just stepped on my toes! Shit! Did I just flirt?

Very cute.

Actually, I totally agree with Glauka. I think we fall for the same type of men. I tend to fall for the quiet types, that hang back a little. But this presents a problem, because when I am actually really attracted to someone, I don't flirt! Well, not consciously anyway, because I'm usually too nervous. I try to work up the nerve to talk to him a few times first before any real flirting may start. It's a difficult thing, because I like the guy who is not a roving flirt, but I also need him to make a decisive move and come and get me at some point. If he doesn't flirt, and I'm too nervous, how does he know that I want him to come and get me? You see the dilemma.

But, that doesn't mean a good flirt is not appreciated, or doesn't stand a chance. I currently have a crush on someone who knows exactly how to flirt with me without being cheesy, and it's great!

*edit On second thought, the somebody that I have a crush on isn't flirting either. He's just paying me a lot of attention. So I guess I'm back to point number one.

Edited April 27, 2006 by kat

[thaibebop]

Any guy who doesn't like flirting shouldn't hang around in the bars. I don't. It's the girls job to flirt with customers. And if I did I would go to these bars. Anyway it's fun. Lighten up! No.

[khall64au]

Any guy who doesn't like flirting shouldn't hang around in the bars. I don't. It's the girls job to flirt with customers. And if I did I would go to these bars. Anyway it's fun. Lighten up! No.

Bops, I think someone has been flirting with you and you don't know how to deal with it - cos you're a married man and don't want the attention? Correct??

[thaibebop]

Any guy who doesn't like flirting shouldn't hang around in the bars. I don't. It's the girls job to flirt with customers. And if I did I would go to these bars. Anyway it's fun. Lighten up! No.

Bops, I think someone has been flirting with you and you don't know how to deal with it - cos you're a married man and don't want the attention? Correct??

Bob was flirting with me?! Ooookay.

Truth time: I never knew how to deal with it. Someone flirting with me means they want something from me. I don't trust people who want something from me. I know that sounds too genernal, and I realize this, but to get my point across I will leave it as such. Someone, I don't know real well, or at all, flirting or being nice means they think I am a mark, little do they know! I never liked it when friends of mine played that game with me either. I had many female friends in my past and they learned not to flirt with me, especially when they wanted something of me. I wanted to them to be honest and ask for what they wanted without any BS.

[kayo]

I said I wished that my sex drive would go away, I never said I didn't like sex. I might be a fcked up individual but I am a MAN!!!

:whistling

[thaibebop]

I said I wished that my sex drive would go away, I never said I didn't like sex. I might be a fcked up individual but I am a MAN!!!

:whistling

Laugh it up furball!

[Totster]

I wanted to them to be honest and ask for what they wanted without any BS.

I'm with you on this one... If a hot girl wants sex with me, I'd rather she just come straight out with it....

totster

[thaibebop]

I wanted to them to be honest and ask for what they wanted without any BS.

I'm with you on this one... If a hot girl wants sex with me, I'd rather she just come straight out with it....

totster

I wasn't quite thinking that, but yes you are right.

[donna]

if someone is flirting with you, it doesnt necessarily mean that they want sex!

i flirt with the immigration man so that he doesnt give me a hard time. i dont want sex with him!

i flirt with the girls at the market to give me a good price. i dont wan sex with them!

i flirt with my staff in a different way to get them to do things! i DEFINITELY dont want sex with them!

there are so many different ways of flirting. they dont ALL relate to sex.

[meemiathai]

there are so many different ways of flirting. they dont ALL relate to sex.

My home dictionary says - If you flirt with someone, you behave as if you are sexually attracted to them, in a playful or not very serious way. Dad's flirting with all the ladies, or they're all flirting with him, as usaul...

Different people might have a different interpretation on the word flirt, but at least this thread of thaibebop is about sexually related, I think.

So that means one simply just can't flirt with anyone who's obviously impossible to be sexually attracted.

[meemiathai]

I might be a fcked up individual but I am a MAN!!!

And a 6 foot 8 pure muscle!!!

[donna]

sure the interpretations can be different to many people. its all a matter of perception.

i can flirt with people i dont feel attracted to and have done it many times before. it can make people feel good about themselves. it doesnt have to be taken seriously but it can have a very positive effect on the 'flirtee'

[donna]

sure the interpretations can be different to many people. its all a matter of perception.

i can flirt with people i dont feel attracted to and have done it many times before. it can make people feel good about themselves. it doesnt have to be taken seriously but it can have a very positive effect on the 'flirtee'

[meemiathai]

I tend to fall for the quiet types, that hang back a little. But this presents a problem, because when I am actually really attracted to someone, I don't flirt! Well, not consciously anyway, because I'm usually too nervous. I try to work up the nerve to talk to him a few times first before any real flirting may start. It's a difficult thing, because I like the guy who is not a roving flirt, but I also need him to make a decisive move and come and get me at some point. If he doesn't flirt, and I'm too nervous, how does he know that I want him to come and get me? You see the dilemma.

Understand exactly! As I say, life contradicts itself all the time.

But I guess you just haven't yet met the one whom you would jump uncontrollably onto like a lion and start chewing. By then, everything is going to go naturally, I guess.