Face and frustration

[mmh8]

Having lived here a few years I get used to the face thing, but it so often catches me out and still does occasionally. Incredilby frustrating especially when you know the indiividuals concerned do have some intelligence.

this time I have just heard some outrageous provocative, information. Deliberately provocative, though.

In the case of deliberate provocation with a party one wishes to remain at least on diplomatic terms, would it ever help to confront the issue full on? or to do things the local way, with a smile and lies?

[beachproperty]

Having lived here for the few years you have....you obviously have learned the art of "how to talk (write) a lot and say nothing"!

Saves face all the time!

[huwgo]

If you can stay above it, stay above it. You already know that's the right course.

It's hard to divorce yourself from pride and emotion, we've all been there, but stay strong buddy

[lostmebike]

Riddles, riddles, riddles. Life is full of riddles!

[OmegaRacer]

What's the OP going on about?

[CharlieH]

Seems like you already know the solution, most wont even understand the question, unless they have been here awhile.

[Suradit69]

What's the OP going on about?

I think he's been reading too many threads on Thai Visa in which farang's feelings have been hurt, not everyone smiles at them, sometimes inlaws don't love them, a cashier doesn't curtsy or they feel they're discriminated against in some situations, someone referred to them as a farang or ... the list of whinges over loss of face by farang who feel unloved, who are frustrated that not everyone speaks English, who feel betrayed that some woman took them for a ride, etc ... it's just endless.

And one way of dealing with it all is to come to TV, the hub of farang dealing with loss of face, and find a shoulder to cry on.

[dotpoom]

What's the OP going on about?

I think he's been reading too many threads on Thai Visa in which farang's feelings have been hurt, not everyone smiles at them, sometimes inlaws don't love them, a cashier doesn't curtsy or they feel they're discriminated against in some situations, someone referred to them as a farang or ... the list of whinges over loss of face by farang who feel unloved, who are frustrated that not everyone speaks English, who feel betrayed that some woman took them for a ride, etc ... it's just endless.

And one way of dealing with it all is to come to TV, the hub of farang dealing with loss of face, and find a shoulder to cry on.

Couldn't stop laughing at the Pic. Suradit 69, just fantastic. I'v even printed it out and am going to frame it and stick it on the wall (or mirror). Here's one of my Favs....Apologize for diverting from the subject

[willyumiii]

Still trying to get a grip on the face thing!

I know people in Thailand do not steal things.

They see something they want and they just take it.

Just this morning, I went to use my electric drill.

When I opened the case, I discovered all 12 drill bits were gone.

I won't be using the drill today!

Before I left this morning, I asked the wife to show the empty case to some of the men in the village to see if they know who had borrowed the drills and ask if maybe I could use them if they were finished using them.

I may get them back.

Without a loss of face??

[SeabagsFull]

Good post, mmh8. I've run into this conundrum a couple of times, one I'll mention below.

For a Thai, how they communicate is everything. In fact, how artistically one dances around the issue while getting their point across & the way it connects to face may be the one way that Thai's truly judge others. If someone cannot pull it off (i.e., communicate their point without directness or becoming jai-ron), then they lose face & are judged as being in need of much merit. To me, the verbal dance they perform is similar to the dance Taekwondo practitioners perform with each other when sparring to certain types of music (e.g., Mortal Combat).

My wife enrolled in a special UDRU Business English program, one where she attended classes all day Saturday & Sunday rather than spread out throughout the week; this was meant for married students as well as those who worked during the week. All along, her counselor & teachers encouraged students to do well, to aim for Honors or High Honors. At the end of my wife's four years, she became the first Business English student to qualify for High Honors 1st Class Distinction. When she picked up her transcript, however, there was no mention of this.

After some back-&-forth & a couple of phone calls, the administrator told her that she didn't qualify because she attended summer school. Problem is, the special program she enrolled in required students to attend summer sessions. Her counselor, now a department head in a different department, was a friend of ours. After some consultation, she agreed to try to get this changed. She failed, saying that the dean denied the request. But I was not ready to let it go, though my wife was resolved to.

I mentioned to our friend that I was considering taking the story to the local TV station that liked to do human interest pieces. My wife's counselor said to me, "Seabagsfull, this is not how we do things in Thailand." I told her I understood, but that my wife had worked so hard for this honor, that I couldn't simply stick my head in the sand & accept her disappointment for something that was clearly not her fault. As we got up to leave, the counselor said she was on her way to a board meeting, that she'd try again to get the dean to consider the issue.

My wife got a call that night; she would graduate with High Honors. A few months later at a funeral for one of the farang teachers at the school, I met & talked with the head of the UDRU campus. When the subject of my wife's ordeal came up, she said that UDRU had changed the policy, that the weekend programs were exempt from the no-summer-school requirement.