Crazy Thai kid, need advice

[nikkoid66]

My girlfriend has a 10 year old kid who has the name of Scott. But in the village, people call him Scottzilla.

I didn't knew the reason for this name, he is slim and shy and has nothing to do with the Japanese monster.

But things became very clear when his grand mother who was in charge of him was too old and he started to stop going to school. I learned that he was making himself passing out at school when something was not going in the way he want. He could stop breathing until he pass out or knock his head on the floor!

Finally he stopped going to school, so the police contacted my girlfriend.

Apparently he was almost normal before but for 2 years the situation has degraded to the point that nobody could take care of him. We tried with a farang couple, after 1 week they kick him out from their home calling him a monster and never want to see him again.

I decided to take him with us, thinking that if he is with his mother everything will be better, even if she has to work a lot and have little time to take care him.

About 3 days being together, he tried to kill his mother with a knife. I had to separate them and throw him outside. He just got crazy crying like a 2 year old kids, breaking everything around him and after looking for a knife to kill his mother and that's when I took him outside by force.

After that, I was really shocked, I think in the past people who were doing these kind of things were burned alive! But my girlfriend told me to give him some time and she had faith she can communicate with him and made him change.

He is a very shy kid, but really really selfish, and has a superiority problem, like if think he is some God. It is something that can be seen in his attitude. He doesn't care about anything people say, and does only what he wants. His mother give him everything, and try to teach to him, I must say that she is a wonderful mother. But he does only what he likes. He is lazy to go school, he stay home. He want something, he take money and go buy it. There is no way to negotiate with him. As soon as something does not goes the way he wants, he becomes un-receptive like an autistic kid, and crazy, start to act like somebody totally insane! Impossible to talk to him, nicely or strong, he is in his world and crazy, hurting him does not work at all, he would die when he is crazy, nothing can stop him.

We are in a dead end with no solution for him. He is good at school, and smart, but very dangerous. I do not stay with them because he decided that he does not like me, so my gf is sleeping with him. Sometime she has bruises, I know he punch her or something like this. She is 40 kg and he is almost the same her.

It's been 6 months since she tried to make him change, but since we decided to take him with us: she got no progress at all. This situation is getting worse, he come where she works all the time, do nothing and annoy everybody, she has to pay people to take care him when she work because people complain about his attitude (she work in a big hotel).

What can be done so that he stay away from us? I think he is insane and cannot stay in the normal world. We cannot handle this situation anymore. Before a doctor gave him some strong medication. He was seeing a psychologist for quite a long time, but his attitude was the same, so medication was not working.

We need advice if someone is working in a hospital and know what can be done in Thailand so that is stay somewhere, but he cannot stay with us anymore.

[benalibina]

Sounds alot like my SIL. Where u live ?

[Deserted]

He needs serious help and probably medication of some kind, if he takes it. When things get that bad, there's little you can do. I don't know if they have special homes for children with behavioral problems but it sound like he needs one.

Sorry to hear of your hardship.

[Mario2008]

He clearly needs specialized help, this is beyond a point where you can do it alone.

Seek professional help.

This should give you some starting points: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/90910-mental-health-resource-list/

You could also try the pavena foundation, they might be able to direct you to the right organisation.

[Patsycat]

From what you have written it looks like he is autistic. I don't know about Thailand but i am sure you will find some sort of help. It took my family 20 years to find out that my nephew is autistic. And that's in the UK. It's a hidden problem with lots of different symtoms.

Sorry about my spelling!!

Edited December 2, 2013 by Patsycat

[nikkoid66]

Thanks for the answers, if I was in Europe I know many solutions but in Thailand ( Trat) it seems that we are a little bit on our own, I do not speak Thai and my GF is not good with Internet.

If anyone knows some specialized place so that we can find people who can help us in Trat or Chantaburi, please let me know.

[Chao Lao Beach]

If it is psychiatric care that is needed, (I am clueless) you may look here.

There are 2 big private hospitals in Chanthaburi, but I would not hold your breath.

In Trat and Chanthaburi is a Bangkok Hospital, an expensive private hospital chain.

Most expats go to Sirivej Hospital Chanthaburi, which is cheaper and Whities pay the same as Thais.

In the medical forum on this site there is info if that is the problem with an amazingly helpful mod.

Maybe he is insane?

Other than that, Welcome to Thai Inlaws

Edited December 2, 2013 by Chao Lao Beach

[Mario2008]

Call some hospitals on the list, they will now good hospitals/doctors nearer to Trat.

[AyG]

Perhaps an off-the-wall suggestion, but consider placing him with a temple as a temple boy for a few months. He'll be given the discipline and routine that he so clearly needs. He might even find some peace of mind.

[jaffacake32]

I work with autistic children and it does sound highly probable he is somewhere on the autistic spectrum. Contacting a local doctor or hospital sounds like some good advice to try and get the support that he needs

[96tehtarp]

I am very sorry to hear of the boy's problems. Both you and your girlfriend must be feeling quite helpless by now.

Start going to government hospitals, like the big ones mentioned here previously in Chantaburi. It will probably require a few visits but eventually they will put you in the right direction to find the care the boy needs.

I recommend the govt. hospitals because most specialist Doctors in Thailand work in both the private and public systems for multiple hospitals.

Hopefully a big part of the solution will be your knowing what you are dealing with in terms of the boy's problem. Better get him some help now or he's going to end up in prison for a good portion of his life.

[CWMcMurray]

If it is a medical problem , then definitely go the hospital route...

But if it just may be an attitude / discipline option, would check out the below...

Have watched some episodes and the things she recommends really do work... Although your wife would need to watch with you and be on board for it to be at all effective

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OmCAWAC9fy0&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DOmCAWAC9fy0

http://www.supernanny.com

[nikkoid66]

Thanks all for your answers, we will be trying the temples if things are not getting better this week.

The latest news are not good at all.

He didn't go to school all last week, and several days my girlfriend had to escape to sleep with me and left him alone because he was crazy. Last Friday, an even required the action of a police officer.

He decided that his mother was a bitch who like Farang money (who told him that?) and took a big empty bottle of Chang beer, and knocked her down. She fight with him to take the bottle and got a serious bite in the back. She tried to escape but he hold her in a way she could not and ended outside, both sitting on the floor. That's when she called me and I came asap.

I tried to separate them but he won't let her go so I had to be strong had hurt him so that he stop holding her, then he tried to fight with me and got my feet in the chest. He then ran in all the place crying 'help help help' waking up all the people who of course though I was doing something wrong.

We called the police who came and my girlfriend explained everything. She was devastated and could not find any solution to fix the problem. The police just listened, was nice but his advice was to search on Google... thanks.

This week end she tried to be as nice as she possibly can, buying the food he likes, giving him her iPhone so that he can play. And he said that he will go to school Monday.

Couple of hours about (at 11pm) he decided that his mother MUST absolutely buy him a new telephone, NOW. And got crazy again. Now he does not want to go to school anymore and wants the phone...

We are very tired. We also learned that he changed about 1 year about and started to fight with the familly in Ubon (his grand' ma who is 82 because he has only his mother and her, my girlfriend has no parents)...

So here we are. I read all your comments and I thank you for everything. We decided to try this week, with the hope he will not be violent again with his mother, but if he continues like this by the end of the week we will try the temple solution.

The hospital is the last scenario, because they usually give them a lot of medics and I think it is like a last resort, but if the monks don't want him, we will have to check this solution as well.

I hope to have good news soon.

Edited December 8, 2013 by nikkoid66

[wooloomooloo]

Couple of hours about (at 11pm) he decided that his mother MUST absolutely buy him a new telephone, NOW. And got crazy again. Nowhe does not want to go to school anymore and wants the phone...

Buy him an iPhone, it's worth a try.

[96tehtarp]

The hospital is the last scenario, because they usually give them a lot of medics and I think it is like a last resort, but if the monks don't want him, we will have to check this solution as well.

Before the hospitals start giving the boy drugs they will do a comprehensive diagnosis. That's a very good thing because then you will know what you are dealing with. If they find the boy is schizophrenic, bipolar or something else they can teach you how best to cope with it. Hospitals should not be a last resort IMO.

For centuries, the Thai Buddhist temple has been a place for mentally ill people to stay who had no other option.

Previously in Thailand there were no better options than the wat. Now there are much better options. The problem is most Thai people don't know that better options exist now. Also it should not be a "one or the other" option for your boy. Maybe the solution will be a combination of both professional psychiatric care and some time at the temple.

The Thai Ministry of Public Health operates the following Public hospitals specializing in mental health in your general area:

Galaya Rajanakarindra Institute - Bangkok

Rajanukul Institute - Bangkok

Somdet Chaopraya - Bangkok

Srithanya Hospital - Nonthaburi

Sa Kaew Rajanakarindra Psychiatric Hospital - Sa Kaew

Yuwaprasart Waithayopathum Hospital Psychiatry - Samut Prakan

Most on the list don't have English websites. Your girlfriend can call 1133 to get the telephone numbers, or here: http://phonebook.tot.co.th/wss/ or try googling in Thai Language, or get a referral from a local hospital in Chanthaburi.

Any medical Dr. in your town will know the best psych facility in your area.

Make sure to use a public hospital, the drugs are free and so is the care. Most specialist doctors work at both the expensive private hi-so hospitals and the public ones. Only the price and amenities will be different.

I don't know your situation, however if I were you I would prefer the boy get a psychiatric evaluation while he's still outside of the criminal justice system and still outside of the correctional system. It sounds like it's only a mater of time before that system gets him.

Edited December 9, 2013 by 96tehtarp

[nikkoid66]

Thanks 96tehtarp,

Very interesting answer.

The teachers are impressive here. Without saying anything his teacher came to the room where he hides and she bring a friend of him. They talk and he agreed to go school tomorrow (%100 sure he said).

However tonight he got crazy and changed his mind. Of course it is 1am and he don't want to sleep... it is hell for the mother who is working at 8am!!!

We talk to the Temple, but they say he must want to come, and also he must go to school... the monk was very nice too, but he don't want, so this option is not possible because we cannot force him.

We will check the hospital too, but how much does it costs?! We are not rich...

If he was older we would dump him in the middle of BK, that's how bad our feeling is now, after 6 months of fighting and trying all the solutions.

The thing is that everyone has always many good ideas. Last week I put 2000 baht on the table to anyone who will convince him to go school 1 time. They are still mine.

We are tired to listen people saying "do this, do that" and at the same time thinking, "she must be a bad mother, if it was my son I would do like that"... well I can tell, I had 2 'normal kids' and raising them was not too much work but no one is prepared to deal with such a problem, specially not a loving mother!

I will update this thread if something happen. Thanks to all.

[96tehtarp]

We will check the hospital too, but how much does it costs?! We are not rich...

If the boy's nationality is Thai then the hospital care will be at no cost to you. Medication will also be free.

Hang in there, and good luck.