Sinsod maybe the end

[johnnycthedog]

Now I've only just read the OP post and there's maybe some good information in reply which I will read after I post my comment.

Don't be a bloody fool and pay any sin sod. You are already supporting your Thai GF and her daughter and the parasitic mother.

You are not marrying some Thai virgin of high class and a rich family. You are marrying a Thai girl who has a daughter to support and this will cost you enough throughout your life. No matter how nice the girl and her daughter are I hope you are not ready to be done over by the stupid Thai idea of sin sod. <deleted> you say you are paying for a big wedding - that's enough - and that will cost you a small fortune for all the parasites that will come along to that.

Get real. Grow some balls. The mother is trying to rip you off. The mother is already getting part of the benefit of your 1500 USD payment each month. The mother is playing you for a sucker. I state again the mother is playing you for a sucker.

Say no to sin sod. Explain that you are paying for the wedding and that's all. Call her bluff. Call off the wedding? - I don't think so. The mother still wants to suckle on your breast and your bank account. Why would she cut off the hand that will fed her in the future.

If you pay the sin sod you are ruined financially and emotionally forever. Once they know you're weak that's the end of you and it will end in tears. You can say NO. You should say NO. You are a fool if you don't say NO.

You will face an eternity of financial troubles if you don't say no.

[johnnycthedog]

Yes she has a girl whom I also love. Prior marriage. But I know my fiancé will listen to mom. Thai way.......

I must post again. This is all a bluff. 1500 USD a month is HUGE money for a Thai family. The mother is playing you for a sucker. You met on the Internet? Perhaps the mother is looking for a richer sucker than you, or maybe multiple suckers/sponsers.

Rather than pay sin sod I would walk away from the relationship. As soon as the tap is turned off they'll come running back to you.

<deleted> after this (sin sod) she'll want a house built for her mother. Then the mother can live the rest of her life more comfortably then you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For Pete's sake think with your brain and not your heart. If this girl truly loves you and knows you are a good man that will provide for her and her daughter then she will understand about no sin sod. Surely you can explain that it will ruin your future together.

Worse case scenario - you say no to sin sod and she walks away from the relationship. Then her true colours will be shown.

Don't join the cast of thousands of farangs that have been duded financially.

You CAN SAY NO! If she truly loves you and wants you for her husband and not for your bank account she will understand.

[johnnycthedog]

As you were paying even before you met her I imagine the whole lot of them see you as a soft touch. Your girl is old enough to make her own decisions. No crappy wedding party, no sinsod at all.

I feel quite strongly about this topic. If you are weak the family will walk all over you and bleed you dry.

We (TV members) do not want you to become another penniless farang, stuck in their home country, unable to afford anymore holidays and working to pay off debt incurred in supplementing a parasitic Thai family.

In reality if she's on the Internet she's willing to meet up with any John err sorry falang. She needs to sort out the wheat from the chaff ie who can provide for her family and who can provide the MOST MONEY. You talked to her for about four months. OK and how many other farangs do you think she was talking to as well. You wouldn't have been the only one. But she won't mention that.

Love is a transient thing. To generalise somewhat - Thai girls may love you and love you wholly and sincerely, but they've always got one eye on the ATM meter.

Edited January 9, 2014 by johnnycthedog

[johnnycthedog]

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll

Gee I post again.

I'm sure all the TV posters who gave you a wake up call were not writing garbage (as you put it). They were writing their posts trying to stop you making a complete arse of yourself. They were writing so that you didn't get ripped off. They had your best interests at heart. They've seen it all and know it all. Most of the posters have experience living in Thailand and have dated many Thai girls. Most are married to Thai girls and have gone through the sin sod and wedding caper.

To say what they write is garbage is an INSULT. If you are making big mistakes then it takes a big stick to smack you into some form of reality - to let common sense enter your brain.

Their brutal comments (and mine) are required. You are in airy fairy land with your payments. You put yourself under pressure to perform financially. All the posts are to try and knock you back to reality.

For the record the Thai girl I married did not want nor expect sin sod nor a big wedding. She was just grateful to find a nice, decent, working falang to take care of her and her child. And I knew her and lived with her for 12 months before I knew she was a good girl to marry.

You have only known your girl for a relative "minute".

Edited January 9, 2014 by johnnycthedog

[FiftyTwo]

For the record the Thai girl I married did not want nor expect sin sod nor a big wedding. She was just grateful to find a nice, decent, working falang to take care of her and her child. And I knew her and lived with her for 12 months before I knew she was a good girl to marry.

You have only known your girl for a relative "minute".

My Thai girl isn't different, she would have squeezed me dry if given the chance.

She tried for Sin Sot (got 100k), tried for a big wedding (got 300bht), got a house (the deposit).

But I'm old and she's young, so I had to give in a little bit.

Anyway, back to the OP, you're bonkers mate, and the demands will never end.

[johnnycthedog]

@ Gowolfpack77 - "This is not always the case... but is a typical scmmer case as I was told by my Thai-American law firm attorney in Bangkok. In your case the odds are at least 20 to 1 that you are being scammed with the mother orchestrating and advising her daughter every time your name comes up in converstation to take you financially as a fool whether you end up together at all or may actually have a future together."

In your long and convoluted post I think you've got the odds you quoted wrong. I think what you meant to say was odds of being scammed were 2 to 1. That is to say a 50/50 chance of being scammed. The odds you quoted mean it a long shot that he's being scammed and that's not what your post was about.

[johnnycthedog]

Uptheos

I'm not a troll.

Sdshaman is back already! Incredible.

Haha I was just thing the same

[/quote

Well if so he's certainly got me biting hard and often!

Edited January 9, 2014 by johnnycthedog

[johnnycthedog]

Uptheos

I'm not a troll.

Sdshaman is back already! Incredible.

Haha I was just thing the same

If he is he's got me biting hard and often!

[johnnycthedog]

This reminds me of my experience with Jeab in Udonthani. We spent 4 days together, but never alone. I returned home and we communicated on YM. When I returned, I wanted to take her to Phuket for a week to bang her and get to know her better. She said "cannot - must marry first - then go anywhere." I thought, how much can it cost for a marriage party - $400 maybe? So I agreed. She said, "don't forget about the wedding portion." I replied, "you mean dowry?" She said, Yes!" I'm already thinking NO WAY, but I ask her, "how much?" She says, "300,000 Baht." Hmmmm. So you want me to pay for a wedding party, a trip to Phuket, your visa and travel expenses to join me in the USA AND $10,000 for your parents?? You are ting tong, bitch - bye.

Good decision dude, only wish I had red this thread before I married, lost most of my money and when the money goes, so do the wife :-(

@ Bander - well I hope you are living the good single life in Pattaya and paying by the night only. Most times it's cheaper that way.

[Donnie Brasco]

Ok (blows whistle)

How many of us on this thread are simply trolling each other at this stage ;-?

I know I am.

[Nayet]

Kick the moocher to the curb, move to Bangkok and bury yourself in an avalanche of snatch.

[Bpuumike]

Mobile on this site sucks.

Ting yes I agree. Yes I do send that much. Yes it is mom that is greedy or her wanting to make sure she saves face for mom.

The whole save face thing is crazy.

That is nothing to do with saving face, it's pure ripping you off.

4K - 5K Thb/month max for the parents and no sin sod if she was previously married and has a child. Sounds like she has a mother I wouldn't want to get involved with and you do marry into The Family.

As suggested above, cut off the payments for a month or two and see what develops.

Separate love from lust and don't get married in a hurry, certainly not legally, beyond a Buddhist ceremony.

You might have realised by now that everyone (well almost)is giving you advice based on experience.

Good luck.

Edited January 9, 2014 by Bpuumike

[epicstuff]

Money can buy affection but not love... if you buy affection your bride will feel like she is earning her money and will see the extraction of as much money from you as possible like business as usual....

When yo find real love, it can happen even if you are poor and have no money...( being handsome and a great lover , like me often helps) but there is generally less of a pick out here in those circumstances, But if it does happen your bride will be loyal, undemanding financially, and would even be happy to support you....

Trouble is most women especially from poor areas know the story too well that marrying a farang is the easy way to avoid poverty or having to work too hard. so thats what most men find, and that is why they are quick to close the trap door by convincing you marriage is the only way forward.

[stedyedy]

Who does she want to marry her mum or you give her the choice,if the mother senses she may not get anything full stop I bet shell change her tune pretty quick I mean where else is she going to get that sort of help from,gotta be the agressor some times.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[SPIKECM]

You can do all the good work you like by telling this guy (if he is not a troll) to wake up and smell the coffee, but you'll go blue in the face before you succeed. You'll also get no thanks. I got my posts removed before trying to warn some guy... he was basically asking "how do I kill myself" and I answered "don't do it" and that seemingly was off topic so removed.

If you told a Thai this story, they would just tell you that "if that he is that stupid, he deserves all he gets". I can't be so cruel, but you get zero thanks for any efforts to warn these Mr Nice Guys that this seductive country eats such guys for breakfast instead of bacon and egg.

They think they have worked out Thailand within two days of arriving.

[ghworker2010]

I do question if this is another guy writing a book or something...

If it is a true story then OP is a fool. Have you ever thought exactly what is being said about you behind closed doors in the mother tongue. They think your a fool for parting with your money and so do I...

[age4short]

US $1500 month? Only met her a couple of times? He's got to be having us on, who would pay that to a girl in your own country? No one, these girls good or bad have been supporting themselves & their families with 10 -15K A month for donkey years, the posts from Khun per & takeover relate more to my own experience having just negotiated my own future.

500 k all refundable except for 40 or 50 k (who cares) in recognition of taking care of parents when elderly

5 Baht gold for the misses

Help with paying for the wedding including the donations from guests

Of course it's all about face, the family & the wife as well as my own, everybody happy.

Why be in a hurry to marry? We been commuting etc between our countries for over 2yrs & if she wants to buy a car or house in her own country she's quite happy to work and pay for it the same way I have too. When I croke it what's in Thailand is hers & what's here is mine as I have 2 kids from another marriage.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[SPIKECM]

He's has about 5 days experience of Thailand and he says he got garbage posts. In other words the stuff he didn't want to hear. I don't know why so many bother to help this poor guy. As the Thais say, the stupid bugger deserves all that is coming to him.

[SPIKECM]

I've got one old witch trying to smooth talk some money from me for an operation... she refer to me as "aye hoa laan" (baldy bastard) behind my back. Kindest is a weakness to these Isaan people..to be brutally exploited if at all possible.

I do question if this is another guy writing a book or something...

If it is a true story then OP is a fool. Have you ever thought exactly what is being said about you behind closed doors in the mother tongue. They think your a fool for parting with your money and so do I...

Edited January 10, 2014 by SPIKECM

[SPIKECM]

It wouldn't have made any difference if you read it then! Then was then and now is now! We all do stupid things in Thailand.... but some more stupid than others... and we can't be helped it seems.

This reminds me of my experience with Jeab in Udonthani. We spent 4 days together, but never alone. I returned home and we communicated on YM. When I returned, I wanted to take her to Phuket for a week to bang her and get to know her better. She said "cannot - must marry first - then go anywhere." I thought, how much can it cost for a marriage party - $400 maybe? So I agreed. She said, "don't forget about the wedding portion." I replied, "you mean dowry?" She said, Yes!" I'm already thinking NO WAY, but I ask her, "how much?" She says, "300,000 Baht." Hmmmm. So you want me to pay for a wedding party, a trip to Phuket, your visa and travel expenses to join me in the USA AND $10,000 for your parents?? You are ting tong, bitch - bye.

Good decision dude, only wish I had red this thread before I married, lost most of my money and when the money goes, so do the wife :-(

[Izbbroke]

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

[bigdod]

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

There you go mate...now that you've stopped the ball rolling and taken your stand, you'll at least get some time to catch your breath and evaluate the situation. There's been a lot of good advice passed your way throughout the thread, so it's got to be worth the rest of your (financial) life to take the time to sort through it all, do a bit of research of your own then discuss all that with wifey. If she aint happy, bin her and go have a look for a new one. They're not difficult to find.

Good luck...

Edited January 11, 2014 by bigdod

[RoyEngland]

I'm glad to read that as well. You sound a generous person, however in Thailand this would be abused at a blink of an eye.

Your not a fool or a sucker, just the same as many people on this forum. My advice is never show your chips, always stay in control. Your money, your decision.

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

[SPIKECM]

Well the bit that is really hard to swallow is that she doesn't love you. I know, I know. What does anyone else know? Well, once you've been in Thailand a while...you get to know shit. She doesn't love you. She might in time, just might if she is a real good one. The other thing is that she'll have a boy friend. Guaranteed if you send her 1,500 dollars a month. They'll be round her like flies on shit. Get that through your head. Not nice I know. You are a fool. Thailand does that to men. It did it to me and at least a million others.

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

Edited January 11, 2014 by SPIKECM

[rsokolowski]

I don't know how to say this in a constructive manner, but you are ignorant to send $1500 per month to your girl friend. A large amount for sinsod for a divorced woman with a child is also a warning sign. I am not saying that you cannot find a nice Thai woman that is divorced and has a child, but you are likely being used. I wish you the best, but you should proceed very carefully because you are likely being used.

[petermik]

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

You asked the question and been given many opinions by EXPERIENCED members-in the main saying NO sinsod to be paid plus your giving TOO much money now and your being a fool-its up to you now grow a pair of BALLS and act like a man-if not regret it for the rest of your life simple.

[SPIKECM]

I just re-read the OP. It is definitely a wind up. Just one good troll of a post. He's laughing his guts out at these replies. For sure.

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

You asked the question and been given many opinions by EXPERIENCED members-in the main saying NO sinsod to be paid plus your giving TOO much money now and your being a fool-its up to you now grow a pair of BALLS and act like a man-if not regret it for the rest of your life simple.

[Izbbroke]

She's agreed to no sinsod after a week of fighting about it. Her mom thinks having a full wedding is just a waste of money, better saved for other things. I wonder if she thinks this due to no sinsod being shown.

Still plan on marrying just will not have the huge wedding. Prepping to bring her and her daughter here is just financially tough. Will be easier now that the monthly help is half what it was.

[Mario2008]

What is a common practise is to give the sin sod for show and get it back after the ceremoney. Tradition is up-held, faces saved.

[gazwa]

What is a common practise is to give the sin sod for show and get it back after the ceremoney. Tradition is up-held, faces saved.

That's what I did! It was the wifes' idea...Mother in law got face (and some cash) ..we kept the cash and gold..great wedding! 6 years later.....still very happily married! It happens! Not to say some guys get ripped, but......Don't gamble what you cant afford to lose...good luck!