Apartment Rental Hell Over Deposit

[wym]

I'm sorry, but the "hobby" I've chosen to do in my retirement puts me in contact with 4-5 resident expats newly diagnosed with terminal diseases each month here in Chiang Mai. Some don't have the opportunity or resources hire an elder care specialist who is not their current bedmate. And then there are those where the resident foreigner had already been abandoned by his Thai partner after years of non-communication because neither learned the other's language, and/or had failed to develop a mature ability to handle financial decisions.

All I'm thinking as I read the OP is what this couple is going to be like in 20 years time when the poor guy is diagnosed with cancer. Is he going to trust this woman to make the decisions about which hospital, which doctor, should they do chemo or not, is a living will in place, etc, etc, If he can't trust her to spend 5000 baht, how can he trust her with his life? Don't guys think about these things when they get married?

Odds are pretty good they won't be together in 20 years. Finding someone who is both clever and trustworthy is just not in the cards for most of us.

Misery at the end of your life is just part of being on the planet for most, trying to prevent that by being "sensible" will IMO just bring the misery forward.

You have some fun and then you die.

[fifthcolumn]

It's actually a good lesson for you to learn.

Rule 1

Never allow a Thai to do anything on their own, especially when it affects you.

Rule 2

Never let your Thai woman buy (or arrange a purchase) anything on your behalf.

I learnt that my first week here.

Gee, let me guess. You are not married. Perhaps you were but you nagged and nitpicked your wife and she left you.

My wife is pretty good about handling money and situations. She took.care of our last two trips (in Thailand), one was a breeze, the other quite complicated. I can trust her judgement for most things. Wish she didn't trust her friend on the Olympus camera tip though.

Sorry cynics. She sounds like a keeper. Just trying to do the right thing.Perhaps she is a bit new to responsibility and handling money. Also sounds like she wanted to please. She also trusted someone who is to be your landlord. All my landlords have been decent folk, can't see any not giving back the month, even keeping the 3k.

Either that or she doesn't care where she sleeps, it's only until the divorce and payout.

I moved in to a tiny flat with my then gf now wife. Clean little place but it was hot and was also on 5th floor. I knew it wasn't going to be forever. We would make it or I would move on.

But yeah, Thailand and the 90% law.

Tell the guy you are moving in, get the keys - then say yeah...for a month. Maybe he will wise up, when nothing to gain and a flat to re-clean (and few lost days rent). Have a go at the flat, leave the windows open all month. Make sure they have to clean it again

[n210mp]

One or two posters have suggested telling lies to the Police about misrepresentation ETC.

Others have suggested dirtying the place, leaving old Prawns to create stink.

<deleted>!!!!!!!!

The OP seems to be a genuine and reasonable person and doesn't need to be advised to tell lies by idiots who want to seeming escalate this situation and create more havoc or invest in what could be a nasty retaliation on the part of the Landlord for any senseless act on the part of the OP!

The OP understands that He or his Thai lady made a mistake in paying all the money up front.

Thats it then the bottom line, Their mistake, learn from it and move on.

Now be the man and take the money offered because legally they dont need to give you anything back!

As far as those who seem to delight in "generally" making stupid malicious and bitter remarks about Thai women in general.

Please dont judge all the Thai ladies on the basis of your own experiences, you see there is always two sides to a story and we on this forum unfortunately only ever get one!

Most of my peers even in sin city, thank God have experienced a happy and harmonious long term marriage with their Thai partners, most of them would say that their marriage to their partner, same as myself was the best thing they ever did.

But then again I and my friends dont spend all our evenings propped up on a bar stool touching up the local ladies and believing that their smoke contaminated lungs and the fat beer bellies together with conversation at the level of a ten year old makes them seemingly attractive.

Actually having thought about my last remark it does of course make them attractive but only to the wrong woman!

Oh shizer!

last paragraph makes me guilty of generalising doesn't it! So Sorry!

[oogster8]

maybe lady is getting back at op in her own way.....lol. 5 flights of stairs is just shit...............lol. op thinks it will be fun..........................hahahaha!

[cashpower]

when traveling to exotic locales it is expected that on some occasions the available lodgings may not meet your usual standards and you will need to adapt to the circumstances. in a situation like this surely you can just have a staff member or doorman carry you up the stairs?

[wym]

^ class clown, village idjit

I purposely chose the fifth floor for my private bedroom in the row house I've rented the past six years, partially to get away from the noise and traffic below, but to make sure I got a bit of extra exercise throughout the day.

Have never regretted it, still fat but my blood pressure's well below normal.

Edited January 15, 2014 by wym

[FiftyTwo]

I'm sitting here shaking my head at the guys who are advising against trusting a Thai wife to make a decision that involves less than 10,000 baht. Yet these are the same women who will some day be making decisions about your life and responsible for your care when you're diagnosed with cancer, disabled by a stroke, dementia, etc. Do you trust them to manage your finances, maintain your visa, run your household, obtain the best medical care possible for you? Ever thought about the responsibility the little woman will have to assume on your behalf guys? Especially if there's a big age difference between you and your Thai wife?

Would you trust a prostitute to manage your money Nancy?

This may not be the OPs situation, but it is a lot of guys situation.

[n210mp]

maybe lady is getting back at op in her own way.....lol. 5 flights of stairs is just shit...............lol. op thinks it will be fun..........................hahahaha!

Maybe she was doing him a favour, 5 flights of stairs is great for exercising and keeping fit and of course the OP knows that every time He climbs those stairs He is doing his body great good!

It all depends on which way you look at it doesnt it....Half full or in your case half empty.

As long as you are fit and reasonably healthy the stairscould be a bonus for a person who would normally not get any other exercise.

One thing it does though it makes you do a complete shopping list correctly.

[n210mp]

maybe lady is getting back at op in her own way.....lol. 5 flights of stairs is just shit...............lol. op thinks it will be fun..........................hahahaha!

Maybe she was doing him a favour, 5 flights of stairs is great for exercising and keeping fit and of course the OP knows that every time He climbs those stairs He is doing his body great good!

It all depends on which way you look at it doesnt it....Half full or in your case half empty.

As long as you are fit and reasonably healthy the stairscould be a bonus for a person who would normally not get any other exercise.

One thing it does though it makes you do a complete shopping list correctly.

PS double post not of my doing

Edited January 15, 2014 by n210mp

[fifthcolumn]

I'm sitting here shaking my head at the guys who are advising against trusting a Thai wife to make a decision that involves less than 10,000 baht. Yet these are the same women who will some day be making decisions about your life and responsible for your care when you're diagnosed with cancer, disabled by a stroke, dementia, etc. Do you trust them to manage your finances, maintain your visa, run your household, obtain the best medical care possible for you? Ever thought about the responsibility the little woman will have to assume on your behalf guys? Especially if there's a big age difference between you and your Thai wife?

Would you trust a prostitute to manage your money Nancy?

This may not be the OPs situation, but it is a lot of guys situation.

Yes Nancy, I will trust my Thai wife to make the right call. I figure I have about thirty years before the shtf and if she's still about, well I'm the lucky one. Sorry you feel so out of place here with all the hotties running about.

52: Sorry things just don't work out with the opposite sex for you. It didn't back home and it does not sound like much for you here either.

My wife is absolutely lovely and every month that goes by is a reminder of how I am the weak link in the relationship. She is ever patient and ever understanding. We have been together for four years. The moment I met her I stopped screwing around.

She is educated, has a decent job, job itself sounds impressive, she's fun and a joy to be with 100% of the time. Again, I'm the weak link. She has a decent family that has never been a problem, her extended family are good people as well. We split most expenses these days. I will pick that up in time (+60).

She has never ever engaged in any sort of p4p situation. Yeah, being her a few decades and living in Pattaya some of that time, I consider myself an extremely good judge.

My wife is no model. She's cute, but no glamor girl. Still, it's very unusual I see a farang with a better looking woman.

I tell her each day randomly I love her.

Most of the men who are dissuaded from marriage, abandoned some horse back in the home country. The balance of you are social misfits that the sole purpose of being in Thailand is you can actually have sex with something other than your right hand. You pay for it gladly. For some, it's fun and games, for you lot it's psycho-social therapy. You can have a female in your presence, talking to you even. Wow.

I put off marriage because I'd never found the right person. I found her. She just happened to be Thai.

For the record, yeah if you marry an exhooker, you might have a number of issues - excess baggage shall I say. As opposed to standard baggage we all carry. But, I think many older women would love to hang it up. The trick is to find them after they have washed out, have come to the realization snd smart enough to know a good thing when they see it. I bet many, many guys marry women who are not prostitutes and have even worse time of it.

You just come off as so bitter and so sad 52.

Some of us have spent our lives attracting women who are not prostitutes. I'm sure you find this hard to fathom as your life has been spent waving money at women for attention. Maybe I'd be bitter too if I spent my life having to pay for sex.

If your only perspective on women is what prostitutes behave like, that is not healthy nor even fair way to look at 50% of the worlds population. But hey, it's Pattaya.

[FiftyTwo]

I'm sitting here shaking my head at the guys who are advising against trusting a Thai wife to make a decision that involves less than 10,000 baht. Yet these are the same women who will some day be making decisions about your life and responsible for your care when you're diagnosed with cancer, disabled by a stroke, dementia, etc. Do you trust them to manage your finances, maintain your visa, run your household, obtain the best medical care possible for you? Ever thought about the responsibility the little woman will have to assume on your behalf guys? Especially if there's a big age difference between you and your Thai wife?

Would you trust a prostitute to manage your money Nancy?

This may not be the OPs situation, but it is a lot of guys situation.

She has never ever engaged in any sort of p4p situation. Yeah, being her a few decades and living in Pattaya some of that time, I consider myself an extremely good judge.

My wife is no model. She's cute, but no glamor girl. Still, it's very unusual I see a farang with a better looking woman.

So, one wonders what she saw in you?

Amazing' the number of guys whose wife/gf never did p4p. Glad yours is different.

But,

I've yet to actually meet one (foreigner wife) that didn't have the usual dodgy past, else why would they be hooked up with a foreigner?

Some foreigner guys with the most outrageous hooker wives will swear blind, they never were, it's just not credible.

And guess what,

It's always the old, bald, sweaty fat foreign guys (pick any two from four) that don't know a word of Thai and behave in a totally anti-Thai-culture way that have these special wives, despite not having anything at all to attract such a woman, well, apart from cash. But you ask "miss special" what she is doing with "mister fat wallet" and they are happy to tell you, and arrange a naughty date.

I once had a guy sit at my table and tell me how different his wife was, I almost choked, I had shagged her the night before, and she phoned me up after he had gone to bed, "I can come round to see you now".

Then another guy, telling me and my friend how he had spent 10M on his wife and he could trust her with everything, and my friend was having an affair with her.

Then yet another foreigner guy, married to a lady for 10 years, my wife knew her Thai husband who lived round the corner from them.

Not bitter, just realistic.

Edited January 15, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[glassdude007]

Ive rented many places here in Thailand with mostly good landlords.....

but

I have never gotten my deposit back...NEVER..

even after I clean the place spotless before my departure same as when I moved in ...deposit gone bye bye..TIT

[YeahSiam]

I'm sitting here shaking my head at the guys who are advising against trusting a Thai wife to make a decision that involves less than 10,000 baht. Yet these are the same women who will some day be making decisions about your life and responsible for your care when you're diagnosed with cancer, disabled by a stroke, dementia, etc. Do you trust them to manage your finances, maintain your visa, run your household, obtain the best medical care possible for you? Ever thought about the responsibility the little woman will have to assume on your behalf guys? Especially if there's a big age difference between you and your Thai wife?

Would you trust a prostitute to manage your money Nancy?

This may not be the OPs situation, but it is a lot of guys situation.

She has never ever engaged in any sort of p4p situation. Yeah, being her a few decades and living in Pattaya some of that time, I consider myself an extremely good judge.

My wife is no model. She's cute, but no glamor girl. Still, it's very unusual I see a farang with a better looking woman.

So, one wonders what she saw in you?

Amazing' the number of guys whose wife/gf never did p4p. Glad yours is different.

But,

I've yet to actually meet one (foreigner wife) that didn't have the usual dodgy past, else why would they be hooked up with a foreigner?

Some foreigner guys with the most outrageous hooker wives will swear blind, they never were, it's just not credible.

And guess what,

It's always the old, bald, sweaty fat foreign guys (pick any two from four) that don't know a word of Thai and behave in a totally anti-Thai-culture way that have these special wives, despite not having anything at all to attract such a woman, well, apart from cash. But you ask "miss special" what she is doing with "mister fat wallet" and they are happy to tell you, and arrange a naughty date.

I once had a guy sit at my table and tell me how different his wife was, I almost choked, I had shagged her the night before, and she phoned me up after he had gone to bed, "I can come round to see you now".

Then another guy, telling me and my friend how he had spent 10M on his wife and he could trust her with everything, and my friend was having an affair with her.

Then yet another foreigner guy, married to a lady for 10 years, my wife knew her Thai husband who lived round the corner from them.

Not bitter, just realistic.

I agree with most of that. I HAVE met foreigner wives who haven't been prossies before

[YeahSiam]

just to comment on the deposit 1000 baht is not much deposit but do remember the word deposit is not meant in the same way it is in the west thai's never return deposits

I wish people would include a disclaimer with generalizations as stupid and inaccurate as this. Something like, "This ismy experience after being stupid enough to take an apartment while drunk and forgetting to ask for a contract"

A deposit here is treated in the same way as it is in the West if you have a contract that SAYS it is. Ok, there'll always be chancers who will have a go at not returning it but this tends to be a problem at the sub-THB8,000 per month market. Above that, you won't usually have to worry about it.

I've never had any bother getting deposits returned at the end of tenancies in Bangkok and I've had a few condos

[JLCrab]

So some guy on here now speaks of screwing his friend's otherwise faithful wife -- and in the News Forum there is a topic of someone being shot to death in Florida because the guy was texting during a movie.

[nottocus]

Ive rented many places here in Thailand with mostly good landlords.....

but

I have never gotten my deposit back...NEVER..

even after I clean the place spotless before my departure same as when I moved in ...deposit gone bye bye..TIT

Always got my deposit back from the places I rented.

[Naam]

reading what you have written, the issue is between you and the Mrs, nothing to do with the condo owners, the fact she handed over the "full whack" basically means you (she) accepted the contractural conditions, even though the written contract wasnt signed at that point, there is a verbal agreement/intent in place.

Therefore to me the condo owners are well within their rights not to give you anything back...I would take the THB 3000 on offer and right the rest off as a lesson learned...

ie only hand over the amount of cash asked for in a deposit situation

let's hope the OP doesn't administer a "full whack" to his Mrs.

[fifthcolumn]

I don't want to hijack the thread honestly, but the retorts are so pathetic.

Why you? Well, you sure seem to know why it's not you!

I could rattle off a list but that would be scoffed at as well.

My wife - oh, I just lie to her in a daily basis. I wear a mask when I am with her so that I look like Brad Pitt. I keep a printing press in the next room running full tilt printing money. And what if that did make her happy? How superficial.

The guy came her looking for a bit if advice and gets his companion called a hooker. Great.

Just because you Pattata duds have never run accross anything good or positive in Thailand, does not mean it doesn't exist. And by Pattaya, I could include all the crusty old foul guys in CM as well as the many of the guys on Phuket as well as the sad guys who still have not figured out that PatPong, Nana and Cowboy were long done a decade ago.

Crusty, sad broken men. Self absorbed and utterly self serving. If yiu have such a low opinion of 50% of the Thai population why are you even here? You are here because unlike the hard hookers of Amsterdam, the Thai women will make even you feel a little more human in your desperation for a moment of physical intimacy.

Too funny, I never knew anyone. This one guy I met.

Yeah, I have a million sad stories of lonely guys doing the right thing for the wrong person. Doesn't mean I'm that guy, nor the OP.

Just because all the women the float about in your little world are hookers hardly means that all women are. That is illogical and just myopically retarded.

[wym]

Yes, the real takeaway from all this seems to be there are as many different Thailands as there visitors, no single statement that starts with "All Thais" or "every time" can be accurate.

Unfortunately the vast majority of white guys seem to find their way to the dark side, and obviously being older increases the odds we need to look for love in all the wrong places.

But as long as we learn to navigate these shark-infested waters and make sure we protect our financial security properly, get good value for money spent as we go along and are willing to lie in the beds we've made for ourselves, no one can say we've made bad decisions, it's our lives.

Those fortunate few that (believe they) have avoided such dodgy waters (so far) are certainly to be commended and should consider themselves lucky - I know for a fact it is possible to find sincere non-golddigger SOs and honest landlords in the LoS.

To each their own. . .

[watcharacters]

Get a new wife.

.

That could be even more expensive...

[FiftyTwo]

@5L

Crikey!

@wym

I'm just happy if my shark doesn't take too big a bite in one sitting.

Edited January 15, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[watcharacters]

reading what you have written, the issue is between you and the Mrs, nothing to do with the condo owners, the fact she handed over the "full whack" basically means you (she) accepted the contractural conditions, even though the written contract wasnt signed at that point, there is a verbal agreement/intent in place.

Therefore to me the condo owners are well within their rights not to give you anything back...I would take the THB 3000 on offer and right the rest off as a lesson learned...

ie only hand over the amount of cash asked for in a deposit situation

.

I'm always happier to pay as little up front as possible until I want to finalize everything.

[thaibeachlovers]

Ive rented many places here in Thailand with mostly good landlords.....

but

I have never gotten my deposit back...NEVER..

even after I clean the place spotless before my departure same as when I moved in ...deposit gone bye bye..TIT

My wife had no problem getting our deposit back, but the fact she had a good relationship with the landlady might have helped. It's harder to screw someone over if they are a friend.

[thaibeachlovers]

So some guy on here now speaks of screwing his friend's otherwise faithful wife -- and in the News Forum there is a topic of someone being shot to death in Florida because the guy was texting during a movie.

Texting during a movie is full justification for shooting them, inconsiderate *^^^&&*((.

[JLCrab]

So some guy on here now speaks of screwing his friend's otherwise faithful wife -- and in the News Forum there is a topic of someone being shot to death in Florida because the guy was texting during a movie.

Texting during a movie is full justification for shooting them, inconsiderate *^^^&&*((.

Well you may think it's funny but sometimes it takes just a little bit to push someone right over the edge.

[newatthis]

I'm sitting here shaking my head at the guys who are advising against trusting a Thai wife to make a decision that involves less than 10,000 baht. Yet these are the same women who will some day be making decisions about your life and responsible for your care when you're diagnosed with cancer, disabled by a stroke, dementia, etc. Do you trust them to manage your finances, maintain your visa, run your household, obtain the best medical care possible for you? Ever thought about the responsibility the little woman will have to assume on your behalf guys? Especially if there's a big age difference between you and your Thai wife?

Would you trust a prostitute to manage your money Nancy?

This may not be the OPs situation, but it is a lot of guys situation.

She has never ever engaged in any sort of p4p situation. Yeah, being her a few decades and living in Pattaya some of that time, I consider myself an extremely good judge.

My wife is no model. She's cute, but no glamor girl. Still, it's very unusual I see a farang with a better looking woman.

So, one wonders what she saw in you?

Amazing' the number of guys whose wife/gf never did p4p. Glad yours is different.

But,

I've yet to actually meet one (foreigner wife) that didn't have the usual dodgy past, else why would they be hooked up with a foreigner?

Some foreigner guys with the most outrageous hooker wives will swear blind, they never were, it's just not credible.

And guess what,

It's always the old, bald, sweaty fat foreign guys (pick any two from four) that don't know a word of Thai and behave in a totally anti-Thai-culture way that have these special wives, despite not having anything at all to attract such a woman, well, apart from cash. But you ask "miss special" what she is doing with "mister fat wallet" and they are happy to tell you, and arrange a naughty date.

I once had a guy sit at my table and tell me how different his wife was, I almost choked, I had shagged her the night before, and she phoned me up after he had gone to bed, "I can come round to see you now".

Then another guy, telling me and my friend how he had spent 10M on his wife and he could trust her with everything, and my friend was having an affair with her.

Then yet another foreigner guy, married to a lady for 10 years, my wife knew her Thai husband who lived round the corner from them.

Not bitter, just realistic.

I must getting very old or have been [and am] associating with the wrong people, but boasting about shagging another man's wife doesn't seem to fit in an acceptable norm.