do you have a with your wife listening to you

[wym]

It doesn't even take a Thai wife or girlfried, just a Thai friend would do.

When I talk with my friend, who comes here only once a week and while we talking, sometimes his sister living next door walks over and starts ejecting oral diarrhea half way.

She does it every time and other female neighbor act the same. And what? Yes my friend drops our conversation on spot and reacts to that sh#t.

First it just stopped talking for a long while. My friend had totally forgotten that and what I was talking. At a point I said to him: "Don't answer. Just ignore IT." He had no idea what I was talking about.

Than I explained it to him this behavour is upmost rude.

So when this happens now I raise my voice and shout: "XXX mai wang"...well, I have do do it EVERY time because it is forgotten instantly.

After that I also say that bad behavour is the easiest to lose face. (In the view of a farang of course....)

How incredibly rude.

I mean you, much more so than the Thais.

Trying to "educate" people in their own country as to what is considered rude in your own irrelevant POV, telling people e.g. they shouldn't ask your salary or how old you are, or they shouldn't be asking for a dowry or prices should be marked and the same for all

can't you see how rude that is?

[northernjohn]

this is something Thai do all the time...put it down to ignrance...or just plain thick

Or lack of understanding the culture you come from. They obviously know about as much of it as you do theirs.

[quiuvo]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

Yep someone who has only associated with bar girls. My wife took a few steps down the social latter to marry me. Her family has a hell of allot more money then mine.

Incredible. One step down ok but a few?? Wow dude you are Mr. Galaxy. I salute u and some lower echelon ladies.

[tetleythedog]

I was just driving back from the market. There were 5 adult thais, 2 children and myself. There was at least 3 conversations going on most of the time. I was not part of it. As usual the volume level was quite high, but no one was deaf. They were all interrupting each other, - jIt's the culture, yes annoying but not rude to them.

It's the way here, annoying ! The worst thing , the one i really hate is that they spend half of their time with their finger wedged up their nose, even in restaurants, and they think we are rude when we blow our nose.

[wym]

It's the way here, annoying ! The worst thing , the one i really hate is that they spend half of their time with their finger wedged up their nose, even in restaurants, and they think we are rude when we blow our nose.

Exactly, and the solution is to accept or at least ignore their nose-picking, and to go to the bathroom if you want to blow your nose.

Anything else is just rude.

Exceptions would be a partner or student context, either back in farangland, or if in Thailand only when they explicitly ask to be taught about our culture's expectations of etiquette.

[Docno]

I kind of experience the opposite. My gf will sometimes try to start a conversation with me as one of my friends is in the middle of talking to me. But I noticed it's only with friends she doesn't know well and I suspect it's got something to do with her being a little uncomfortable with them. Never noticed what you're experiencing.

[thefamilyjules]

It seems to me that, in some ways, Thais are socialized to not value personal space and boundaries, and I think part of this phenomenon is that it's not important to give full attention to or to respect an individual speaker. If you've ever seen the typical structure of, say, a classroom lecture or a meeting here, there is usually one person (the 'phuu yai' - the teacher, professor, supervisor) talking at great length in the style of a monologue rather than a dialogue. There is usually very little actual discussion, give and take, turn-taking, or having to wait one's turn to speak. Then there are situations where Thais don't seem to really listen or try to listen, and I would guess it's because they're so used to tuning out or being bored to death by the speaker.

An example I've observed is when I was teaching at a school for young children and they had a ceremony for Father's Day where fathers were invited to the school. Some of them were asked to give a speech, with a dreaded microphone of course, but even then not one single person was listening. Some two hundred people in the crowd were either talking to each other, on their phones, playing with their devices, or both/all at the same time. The din of the crowd was as loud as the amplified volume of the speakers, so no one actually wanting to listen could have heard them anyway. It was completely ridiculous. For many Thais, talking on and on or simultaneously without much care for what is being said is valued behavior, but listening the way that most westerners would appreciate and expect is not.

Personally, being interrupted without an apology or acknowledgment is very irritating if it's done constantly by the same person, and I agree that it happens often here in public situations. I get pissed especially if the person also physically cuts me off or pushes past me.

Edited January 15, 2014 by thefamilyjules

[wym]

Yes, we are conditioned in school to be quiet and pay attention to the teacher, and that carries over to other similar contexts.

Here once you're no longer threatened with a beating you're free to ignore the speaker and converse amongst yourselves in the audience.

It's not considered rude here. . .

[Torrens54]

May have to do with your GF not knowing when you've finished. I have the same problem when I cut-in over a conversation in Thai.

One thing that does annoy me is around the dinner table after our daughter gets home from school and I ask her about her day, she and my wife launch into THAI. They both speak perfectly good English.

Okay, so I'm living in Thailand!!!

[Wavnarok]

I had a thai GF once. She was from BKK, at the time she had just finished school for nursing. To make a long story short, we had gotten in a taxi one night to go somewhere nice for dinner and we were talking in english until the taxi driver said something in thai and then they continued to talk in thai the remainder of the way to our destination. I told her what she had done was very rude and she apologized and said she understood. Of course after dinner and a movie, we got another taxi back home and she spoke to the taxi driver in thai the whole way back. I realized trying to make her understand was like hitting my head against a brick wall. That's when I knew the bar girl life was for me and packed up and moved it on down to pattaya. Best decision I ever made.

This is other history , but ,

I use to ask myself what part of their lifes they didnt had already told to a random taxi driver . Its more than usual to stablish a conversation when having a taxi ride , but not in the crazy way that i saw those womans speaking with a random taxi driver

Just remember i asked one of my ex-TGF what they where talking about ? And she provided the driver more information about me ( like where i am from , which hotel i am staying , even what the fuc_k i like to cook .... ) than i will ever provide to a random person

Edited January 15, 2014 by Wavnarok

[wym]

Realise that we are truly aliens here to the average upcountry poor person. They are curious about our hygiene and mating habits etc, and here they have one of their own with direct experience of the legendary farang, so they want to know as much as they can.

[quiuvo]

I like the fact that they really don't care about the farts and other things we, some, consider not appropriate.

[MW72]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

Crap.

+1. The describing of Thailand as a 'third world country' is a routine error on TV - can only ever be said by people who have no idea at all what a genuine 'third world country' is like.

Never a truer word spoken. I've worked in Ethiopa and Afghanistan and the folks there would think that life in Thailand was a dream.

[wym]

I like the fact that they really don't care about the farts and other things we, some, consider not appropriate.

If you don't get a reaction from the Thais you hang out with when you let a big wet one rip,then. . .

Well it could go either way, maybe they're advanced enlightened monks or something!

http://narrative.ly/so-funny-it-hurts/the-fart-party-really-stinks/

Edited January 15, 2014 by wym

[quiuvo]

Thailand is a third world country, most Thai ladies behave accordingly. If you think anything different you are fooling yourself, for them farangs are there for topping up their family income, you are an ATM, how dare you speak

Crap.

+1. The describing of Thailand as a 'third world country' is a routine error on TV - can only ever be said by people who have no idea at all what a genuine 'third world country' is like.

Never a truer word spoken. I've worked in Ethiopa and Afghanistan and the folks there would think that life in Thailand was a dream.

A developing slowly country?

[socksy01]

Yes. And the interrupting person also has no idea that they are being rude in doing so. I just put it down to their "culture", whatever that is.

I told the 'woman who should be obeyed' that it was downright rude but she stated "no rude - Thai culture", so I told her yes but f*****g rude culture. When I speak with her (not often) and my five-year-old daughter interrupts she corrects her and tells her to wait whilst we have finished talking. <deleted> is all that about?

[Robininbkk]

It's not about Thai culture, impoliteness/rudeness is not a Thai cultural thing. In fact, Thai people are in general very polite, compared to other Asians, Especially compared to Chinese people from China, they are realy realy rude compared to western standards. The only rudeness I have witnessed is from bargirls or farmers without education.

OP, your GF does not have repsect for you that is clear. You are allowing her disrespectful behaviour as well, so she will not change her behaviour. It could also be the fact that you are farang, and she does not respect farangs. If she would act the same way with a Thai guy, the Thai guy would slap the shit out of her for being so rude.

I like what Costa2008 said, just nudge her and she will learn and not do it again.

[Robininbkk]

Oh and was the person who interrupted, a foreigner or Thai? If it was a Thai then again it's about the lack of respect for farangs. I've seen it too often when a Thaigirl/farang couple is having a conversation, having cofee or eating at a table and then some Thai guy just walks by and talks with the Thaigirl. The OP is farang, so they don't care. They might have a simple mindset of, ''this is my country and she is a thai girl, i have the right to interupt you and talk with her''

If it was a farang, then you should have told him in plain English to GTFO and that his interruption is very rude.

[Ghostnigel]

Or is it that the OP is just plain boring?

You're boring....why put someone down for no reason?

[Ghostnigel]

I always say

'So you not want that 10,000 baht, okay'...and move away.

555...i say the same thing, baht is such a magical word!!!

[wym]

Yes. And the interrupting person also has no idea that they are being rude in doing so. I just put it down to their "culture", whatever that is.

I told the 'woman who should be obeyed' that it was downright rude but she stated "no rude - Thai culture", so I told her yes but f*****g rude culture. When I speak with her (not often) and my five-year-old daughter interrupts she corrects her and tells her to wait whilst we have finished talking. <deleted> is all that about?

Thai society is strictly hierarchical, impossible for any one individual to be considered "equal" to another.

Obviously she is above you in your family (as you state yourself), but she is teaching your daughter to "do as I say not as I do", in reminding her that she (the daughter) is below you as the father and it would be shamefully against Thai etiquette for her to be cheeky to you.

This superficial status ordering of course doesn't reflect her own family priorities, underneath it all in private the farang is usually absolutely bottom of the pecking order.

Only way to avoid this is to maintain the upper hand from the absolute outset of the relationship, takes constant vigilance, and as soon as you've removed her from her family via the marriage ceremony - which is what you pay the sin sot for - you take her physically away and only allow occasional visits.

If you stick around anywhere near her family, you end up being a mere appendage to it, irrelevant other than as a source of funds.

My rule of thumb is at least eight hours travel away, and no more than once a month visits in either direction no more than 3-4 days.

[smotherb]

Since most of the complaints seem to come from falangs who are admittedly wallets for their women, if it bothers you, just close the wallet.

[cashpower]

you take her physically away and only allow occasional visits.

My rule of thumb is at least eight hours travel away, and no more than once a month visits in either direction no more than 3-4 days.

absolutely! and if i can also just add that a weekly preemptive beating does wonders to assert your authority as well. nothing too harsh - just a few lashings and then confined to their quarters for 12 hours usually does the trick

[johnmarhall]

Or is it that the OP is just plain boring?

so you know what i am like do you get a life

[johnmarhall]

Thais care about themselves first, family second and other Asians third. If you want loyalty, love and companionship, get a dog.

have a dog already

[johnmarhall]

Without reading further,

and without getting into silly "culture" stuff (gosh how do I love this incompetent excuses)

the answer is very simple

She is not interested in what you say, hence, neither in you! Full Stop.

I strongly suggest you look for someone how is. This relationship is a cul-de-sac, meaning, a one way. One need to give, the other is the receiver. Guess, again, who'll need to give!

Good luck

i have been with her for many years and she is very interested in me as we do really love each other it is not the a.t.m or my wallet it is me and we are very happy together

[Africanteacher]

Not news. Staff at work pick up their phones in a meeting without excusing themselves and begin jabbering to our amazement. They hang up and get back to business like nothing happened, several slides into the presentation.

[tsnyder]

I was just driving back from the market. There were 5 adult thais, 2 children and myself. There was at least 3 conversations going on most of the time. I was not part of it. As usual the volume level was quite high, but no one was deaf. They were all interrupting each other, - jIt's the culture, yes annoying but not rude to them.

Drove 4 Vietnemese women to the airport last night; they would give the Thai's a run for their money with load multiple conversations. They got the hint when I cranked up some George Thorogood on my 800 watt car system.

You cranked up who?

The Master of the Slide Guitar, George Thorogood.

An appropriate selection of his for the occasion of being a lone guy in a car packed with noisy women:

On the day I was born

The nurses all gathered 'round

And they gazed in wide wonder

At the joy they had found

The head nurse spoke up

Said "leave this one alone"

She could tell right away

That I was bad to the bone

(it'd be good to hear this on an 800 watt stereo)

[mesquite]

Yes. And the interrupting person also has no idea that they are being rude in doing so. I just put it down to their "culture", whatever that is.

I told the 'woman who should be obeyed' that it was downright rude but she stated "no rude - Thai culture", so I told her yes but f*****g rude culture. When I speak with her (not often) and my five-year-old daughter interrupts she corrects her and tells her to wait whilst we have finished talking. <deleted> is all that about?

Thai society is strictly hierarchical, impossible for any one individual to be considered "equal" to another.

Obviously she is above you in your family (as you state yourself), but she is teaching your daughter to "do as I say not as I do", in reminding her that she (the daughter) is below you as the father and it would be shamefully against Thai etiquette for her to be cheeky to you.

This superficial status ordering of course doesn't reflect her own family priorities, underneath it all in private the farang is usually absolutely bottom of the pecking order.

Only way to avoid this is to maintain the upper hand from the absolute outset of the relationship, takes constant vigilance, and as soon as you've removed her from her family via the marriage ceremony - which is what you pay the sin sot for - you take her physically away and only allow occasional visits.

If you stick around anywhere near her family, you end up being a mere appendage to it, irrelevant other than as a source of funds.

My rule of thumb is at least eight hours travel away, and no more than once a month visits in either direction no more than 3-4 days.

Should be mandatory reading for any farang man considering a relationship with a Thai woman. Knowing this BEFORE a relationship starts would be invaluable.

Edited January 16, 2014 by mesquite

[Neeranam]

Yes!

But they all get quiet when my 5 year old daughter interrupts me and I tell her that she is only half Thai and is not required to be rude and interrupt people who are already talking.

"Wait until there is a break in the conversation then ask your question."

Suddenly there is a break in the conversation..they all shut up!

So, you are reinforcing the idea that half of your daughter is not perfect? This will have psychological consequences in years to come.

Op - have you told your gf that you don't like it and consider it rude?

My wife used to until I told her not to.