Thai Massages are the opposite of soothing, it has emerged.

Professor Henry Ballbaker of the Institute for Studies said “Having a massage is more worrying than being falsely accused of murder.Studies show that levels of the stress hormone cortisol increase by up to 400% when the subject is pummeled.

“You are half-stripped and helpless while a stranger with immense upper body strength hurts you. It’s bullying set to laos music.”

Pattaya expat J.W.Bobbitt said: “I’ve only ever had one massage, and I was so nervous that I sweated off all the unguents that were being applied to me.

“I had no idea what to do with my hands. Or my face. Or anything.

“I was frightened to enjoy it too much and be mistaken for an old pervert, but I didn’t want to be rude so I talked about the migration habits of birds of prey. For 60 minutes.”

Masseuse Porn Tingtong said “I love my job. It’s the perfect profession for a committed sadist.

“Everything you fear is true. We think your pallid back is weird and disgusting, like a hairy gibbon.

“Clearly your ‘stiff shoulder’ isn’t going to be cured by having being bent at an impossible angle. The real objective is to make you yelp like a snared cock erall.”

I just love the oil massage it sends me off into deep relaxation. Truly a great way to de-stress. And before some joker kicks off, when I want something else, it would not be during quality deep relaxation time.

you forgot the Happy ending

To be honest I think the massage thing is just a money maker.

To be honest I think the massage thing is just a money maker.

It does have some therapeutic values. It takes knots out of muscles, and gets the blood flowing, along with cycological values.

Edited February 14, 201412 yr by Thongkorn

Is this not the nation

J Bobbit? And yes, I hate thai massage. Its not relaxing in the least?

To be honest I think the massage thing is just a money maker.

It does have some therapeutic values. It takes knots out of mussels, and gets the blood flowing, along with cycological values.

Knots in mussels?

You should call RSCPA !

It used to be relaxing.

Now they all want to claim health benefits, so they go hard on you, so it looks professional.

Problem is no one is qualified, and girls are doing it while talking to their colleagues: so it's uncomfortable, you feel like you should not be there listening to a full blown convo, you have no idea if it's contains comment about you, it's painful and stressful.

Just avoid it

To be honest I think the massage thing is just a money maker.

It does have some therapeutic values. It takes knots out of mussels, and gets the blood flowing, along with cycological values.

Knots in mussels?

You should call RSCPA !

dyslexic kicking in again thanks.

This should be in Pub.

The people who took this article seriously should read it again slowly.