"mismatched couples" - definition?

[thailiketoo]

Thai women are like fragile tropical flowers and wilt in other countries.

Noooooooooooooooooo ... say it isn't so ...

note to self ... cancel Shrimp Girl's Visa application with the Embassy on Monday.

Thanks thailiketoo ... you've just saved me from a world of hurt ...

Compare and contrast Thai women with women from the Philippines.

3.4 million Filipinos in America. 69% born in Philippines.

234 thousand Thais in America.

Apples and oranges my friend. The Philippines was a US colony and had close ties even after independence. Many Filipinos served in the US forces, which gave them entrance to the US. Over the long colonial and independent period, many US-Filipino marriages evolved. Additionally, the economy in the PI is so bad, even well-educated Filipinos cannot find work. Consequently, Filipinos of all socio-economic standings want out and the US is the first choice. None of that can be said for the Thais.

I would agree. It is easier for women from the Philippines to move to America. The women from the Philippines also move everywhere else for employment or living. But they have to want to go. Thai women don't want to go. That's why my original point about Thai women don't date a man for a visa is accurate. Thai women want to date men for money and homes sure but not a visa.

Thai women want the man to come to Thailand and Philippine women want to go to another country.

A lady a while back said Thai women date men to get out of Thailand and that is not correct. Thai ladies will only leave as a last resort and not a first choice like people from the Philippines.

If it was easy for Thai women to go to another country it would make no difference. They don't want to leave Thailand unless they have to.

Edited March 1, 2014 by thailiketoo

[HalcyonDays]

I don't think human beings need to be "matched" in superficial aspects like age appearance class race religion, as if they were furniture or part of a cutlery set.

It's this kind of judgmental attitude that "just isn't right".

Who people choose to get together with and their reasons aren't for others to judge or make snide comments about.

Western women have known for a long time they are on the losing side when looking for a mate, it's been a buyer's market for a long time for men.

Those of us left with only stale goods for choices go to another market is all.

far from being judgmental i simply believe there should be a modicum of commonality there.

given your remarks about western women in the next two sentences, id have to call you a hypocrite.

Well observed. This "WYM" guy posts often. He preaches tolerance but strikes me as one of the this forum's least tolerant contributors. He seems unable or unwilling to accept points of view that differ from his own.

Describing western women as "stale goods" speaks volumes.

[kimbathewhitelion]

I don't think human beings need to be "matched" in superficial aspects like age appearance class race religion, as if they were furniture or part of a cutlery set.

It's this kind of judgmental attitude that "just isn't right".

Who people choose to get together with and their reasons aren't for others to judge or make snide comments about.

Western women have known for a long time they are on the losing side when looking for a mate, it's been a buyer's market for a long time for men.

Those of us left with only stale goods for choices go to another market is all.

far from being judgmental i simply believe there should be a modicum of commonality there.

given your remarks about western women in the next two sentences, id have to call you a hypocrite.

Well observed. This "WYM" guy posts often. He preaches tolerance but strikes me as one of the this forum's least tolerant contributors. He seems unable or unwilling to accept points of view that differ from his own.

Describing western women as "stale goods" speaks volumes.

Can't comment on WYMs history but reading through this Topic, seems you do quite the same. Psycho-analyzing another member is baiting & outright insulting. Seems better to just keep on topic & allow others to express their opinions. If the opinion is outside your values, better to just ignore it & move on. If you're just bored, comment but without insult. I won't reply back case you do but it had to be said. Western Psychology & Asia do not mix & thus absolutely irrelevant, but in most cases whether or not educated, Shrinks, Psychologists and Therapists are generally more messed up than the rest of us. However if indeed your affiliation is not in anyway related to Psychology in a professional manner, than scratch that & replace it with 'the world needs less bullies'.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Mudcrab]

how many readers believe their girlfriend / wife would have still choose them for a partner had he had to openly compete in the west in the real world?

None, unless they're deluded, in which case we will soon find them in the " The Thai wife left me the minute she got her visa/after stealing all my money" section.

just realized you are female, does this mean you are totally pissed because no westerner wants to be with you for what ever reason. It always seems that the women and men that have had failed relationships like to bag anyone that is having a good one simply because they are jealous as sh*t they cannot snare someone. Dont worry, I feel sorry for people like you that have to try to denegrate others because they failed, I am sure you will find a fat, old and ugly thai for yourself if you look hard and offer enough money. Have a nice day now .

Yeah I am so jealous I wish I could have a red neck husband twice my age, that can't spell "denigrate" and need to ask Thaivisa how to live with me.

look who's spitting the dummy, you cant decide if your a man or woman but doesnt matter because with your attitude no one would want to be with you anyway. All you are is another reason to read posts in here, takes all kinds to make tv a great place to be and when we get someone that is loveless such as yourself that cant decide if they are male or female but just want to abuse everyone it makes for a great laugh. I am older than my wife, only by 17 years and she earns way more than me and could have a choice of men way wealthier than me but she chose me over them all. That must piss people like you off heaps because you are not able to say the same so you need to come in here and try to denigrate those that do, definitely feel sorry for you now especially when you start picking on their spelling(ps, you should check your own grammar/spelling before commenting on anyone elses)

And so, it would appear, should you, .

Edited March 1, 2014 by Mudcrab

[momtaz]

Mistmatch : it's a broad concept, for some ppl is about age gap, for some other about personality, manners, bahviour and life style etc, it dpend on everyone how they look at it,

for me, match or mismatch is about brain skill and how far can understand each other, you may match up yourself with someone elder or younger.. etc,

[Kitsune]

how many readers believe their girlfriend / wife would have still choose them for a partner had he had to openly compete in the west in the real world?

None, unless they're deluded, in which case we will soon find them in the " The Thai wife left me the minute she got her visa/after stealing all my money" section.

just realized you are female, does this mean you are totally pissed because no westerner wants to be with you for what ever reason. It always seems that the women and men that have had failed relationships like to bag anyone that is having a good one simply because they are jealous as sh*t they cannot snare someone. Dont worry, I feel sorry for people like you that have to try to denegrate others because they failed, I am sure you will find a fat, old and ugly thai for yourself if you look hard and offer enough money. Have a nice day now .

Yeah I am so jealous I wish I could have a red neck husband twice my age, that can't spell "denigrate" and need to ask Thaivisa how to live with me.

look who's spitting the dummy, you cant decide if your a man or woman but doesnt matter because with your attitude no one would want to be with you anyway. All you are is another reason to read posts in here, takes all kinds to make tv a great place to be and when we get someone that is loveless such as yourself that cant decide if they are male or female but just want to abuse everyone it makes for a great laugh. I am older than my wife, only by 17 years and she earns way more than me and could have a choice of men way wealthier than me but she chose me over them all. That must piss people like you off heaps because you are not able to say the same so you need to come in here and try to denigrate those that do, definitely feel sorry for you now especially when you start picking on their spelling(ps, you should check your own grammar/spelling before commenting on anyone elses)

I suggest some reading lessons, did you skip grammar school ?

[seajae]

look who's spitting the dummy, you cant decide if your a man or woman but doesnt matter because with your attitude no one would want to be with you anyway. All you are is another reason to read posts in here, takes all kinds to make tv a great place to be and when we get someone that is loveless such as yourself that cant decide if they are male or female but just want to abuse everyone it makes for a great laugh. I am older than my wife, only by 17 years and she earns way more than me and could have a choice of men way wealthier than me but she chose me over them all. That must piss people like you off heaps because you are not able to say the same so you need to come in here and try to denigrate those that do, definitely feel sorry for you now especially when you start picking on their spelling(ps, you should check your own grammar/spelling before commenting on anyone elses)

Yeah I am so jealous I wish I could have a red neck husband twice my age, that can't spell "denigrate" and need to ask Thaivisa how to live with me.

how many readers believe their girlfriend / wife would have still choose them for a partner had he had to openly compete in the west in the real world?

just realized you are female, does this mean you are totally pissed because no westerner wants to be with you for what ever reason. It always seems that the women and men that have had failed relationships like to bag anyone that is having a good one simply because they are jealous as sh*t they cannot snare someone. Dont worry, I feel sorry for people like you that have to try to denegrate others because they failed, I am sure you will find a fat, old and ugly thai for yourself if you look hard and offer enough money. Have a nice day now .

None, unless they're deluded, in which case we will soon find them in the " The Thai wife left me the minute she got her visa/after stealing all my money" section.

I suggest some reading lessons, did you skip grammar school ?

there there luvie, the last thing I worry about when writing in here is my spelling and grammar but I was just pointing out that you are the one that was picking on someone for it but cant get it right yourself. I offered you a suggestion only as you seem to have your nose a bit too high to see sense. As for me, I suffer from fat fingers and often hit the wrong key or more than one key(also dont use spell check, have big nostrils too ) especially when it isnt for work, as for grammar etc lets see, I have a diploma in writing from university(and a press pass too) and my tefl certificate(which means bugger all anyway) but for tv I simply let it flow and dont bother checking it, just look at my posts and you will see this is a fact. I also dont give a sh*t if I mis-spell or drop my grammar, this is not a job but a way to have a bitch/release tension, the only ones that really care are those like you, self deluded.

fat finger syndrome, bugger

Edited March 1, 2014 by seajae

[Kitsune]

look who's spitting the dummy, you cant decide if your a man or woman but doesnt matter because with your attitude no one would want to be with you anyway. All you are is another reason to read posts in here, takes all kinds to make tv a great place to be and when we get someone that is loveless such as yourself that cant decide if they are male or female but just want to abuse everyone it makes for a great laugh. I am older than my wife, only by 17 years and she earns way more than me and could have a choice of men way wealthier than me but she chose me over them all. That must piss people like you off heaps because you are not able to say the same so you need to come in here and try to denigrate those that do, definitely feel sorry for you now especially when you start picking on their spelling(ps, you should check your own grammar/spelling before commenting on anyone elses)

Yeah I am so jealous I wish I could have a red neck husband twice my age, that can't spell "denigrate" and need to ask Thaivisa how to live with me.

how many readers believe their girlfriend / wife would have still choose them for a partner had he had to openly compete in the west in the real world?

just realized you are female, does this mean you are totally pissed because no westerner wants to be with you for what ever reason. It always seems that the women and men that have had failed relationships like to bag anyone that is having a good one simply because they are jealous as sh*t they cannot snare someone. Dont worry, I feel sorry for people like you that have to try to denegrate others because they failed, I am sure you will find a fat, old and ugly thai for yourself if you look hard and offer enough money. Have a nice day now .

None, unless they're deluded, in which case we will soon find them in the " The Thai wife left me the minute she got her visa/after stealing all my money" section.

I suggest some reading lessons, did you skip grammar school ?

there there luvie, the last thing I worry about when writing in here is my spelling and grammar but I was just pointing out that you are the one that was picking on someone for it but cant get it right yourself. I offered you a suggestion only as you seem to have your nose a bit too high to see sense. As for me, I suffer from fat fingers and often hit the wrong key or more than one key(also dont use spell check, have big nostrils too ) especially when it isnt for work, as for grammar etc lets see, I have a diploma in writing from university(and a press pass too) and my tefl certificate(which means bugger all anyway) but for tv I simply let it flow and dont bother checking it, just look at my posts and you will see this is a fact. I also dont give a sh*t if I mis-spell or drop my grammar, this is not a job but a way to have a bitch/release tension, the only ones that really care are those like you, self deluded.

fat finger syndrome, bugger

I am not interested in your life sorry.

Please stop mentioning mine, you don't know me.

[peecee]

Just for the record , I am Scottish and we are all good looking... must be the water....

Or complete absence of mirrors!

[wym]

you are coming across like a bitter Western or Westernized female, perhaps living in Thailand, that frequently observes older Western men with much younger Thai women, and this bothers you.

Many, if not most older Western men have settled or visit Thailand (not for the culture, infrastructure, climate, or scenery) but to be with younger females who adhere to the traditional (pre women's lib) values of women taking care of the home, children and physical needs, while the man is the breadwinner and provides home, food and money. Most men are not so self-deluded to believe they are God's gift to these women in the physical sense. Both parties benefit from this arrangement. After a period of time, genuine affection may occur between these "mismatched" couples

To paraphrase "in a relationship based in financial disparity and support hoping dysfunction will evolve into function (affection)

Excellent summary, however I have no idea why you equate a perfectly valid transactional basis to be dysfunctional. Maybe you think that "love" is the only basis for couples getting together? I don't.

[wym]

I don't think human beings need to be "matched" in superficial aspects like age appearance class race religion, as if they were furniture or part of a cutlery set.

It's this kind of judgmental attitude that "just isn't right".

Who people choose to get together with and their reasons aren't for others to judge or make snide comments about.

Western women have known for a long time they are on the losing side when looking for a mate, it's been a buyer's market for a long time for men.

Those of us left with only stale goods for choices go to another market is all.

far from being judgmental i simply believe there should be a modicum of commonality there.

given your remarks about western women in the next two sentences, id have to call you a hypocrite.

As a fat old bald unattractive guy who isn't rich, the women that are available to me back home just don't do it for me. Perhaps you think I should just lie down and die, but for me, no thanks.

The only "commonality" required is that those involved agree that their needs are complementary - if there's no coercion or deception involved, the fact that they are together answers that.

You're judging according to your "standards" as to age difference, race/nationality/class/religion whatever criteria you like are fine for YOU and YOUR relationships, but nothing to do with others'.

Regarding my own ethics, I always make sure there is a fair exchange of value that I give as well as ensuring my getting the same. Sometimes it's just money, more often in the past decade it's a lot more than that. I don't let myself get ripped off, and I do my best to ensure that when they're ready to go, they're better off for the relationship than when they came to me.

[Tmymaimee]

I don't think human beings need to be "matched" in superficial aspects like age appearance class race religion, as if they were furniture or part of a cutlery set.

It's this kind of judgmental attitude that "just isn't right".

Who people choose to get together with and their reasons aren't for others to judge or make snide comments about.

Western women have known for a long time they are on the losing side when looking for a mate, it's been a buyer's market for a long time for men.

Those of us left with only stale goods for choices go to another market is all.

far from being judgmental i simply believe there should be a modicum of commonality there.

given your remarks about western women in the next two sentences, id have to call you a hypocrite.

As a fat old bald unattractive guy who isn't rich, the women that are available to me back home just don't do it for me. Perhaps you think I should just lie down and die, but for me, no thanks.

The only "commonality" required is that those involved agree that their needs are complementary - if there's no coercion or deception involved, the fact that they are together answers that.

You're judging according to your "standards" as to age difference, race/nationality/class/religion whatever criteria you like are fine for YOU and YOUR relationships, but nothing to do with others'.

Regarding my own ethics, I always make sure there is a fair exchange of value that I give as well as ensuring my getting the same. Sometimes it's just money, more often in the past decade it's a lot more than that. I don't let myself get ripped off, and I do my best to ensure that when they're ready to go, they're better off for the relationship than when they came to me.

I always pictured you as looking somewhat normal. Can't hit the gym a few times a week? Girls will not be crushed by your heft and you no longer need "supplements". Plus you'll live longer. Fat is a leading cause of diabetes.

What do you consider a fair exchange of value? Is this based on your own assumptions alone? 4000 baht a night wouldn't be unreasonable for someone of your girth, I would think.

Pity the small girls… Maybe better off financially but feeling worthless and ashamed inside afterwards.

[Tmymaimee]

When they're ready to go? What, are you fattening livestock? Who are you to determine something so vulgar? Some kind of perverted finishing school you run up in Issan? Jesus, I thought this forum was weird but my God….

[Tmymaimee]

Relationship? I think you've been in Isaan a little too long to even fathom what an adult relationship entails. Its not a relationship…you're paying young single moms to choose between sleeping with you in order to feed their kids or work 12 hours a day in a normal job. That's called living in a third world country to buy flesh. At least I try to get them close to my own age and there is often no money exchanging hands for a real relationship.

[thailiketoo]

Relationship? I think you've been in Isaan a little too long to even fathom what an adult relationship entails. Its not a relationship…you're paying young single moms to choose between sleeping with you in order to feed their kids or work 12 hours a day in a normal job. That's called living in a third world country to buy flesh. At least I try to get them close to my own age and there is often no money exchanging hands for a real relationship.

Do I have this right? They get you and no money and still have to work 12 hours a day in a sweat shop in addition to taking care of your needs and that is a real relationship?

[SiamSato]

Why do I date / marry Thai girls despite the cultural gaps? I am 42, look a lot older than 42, short, bald and fairly unattractive. I also have a lot of money. Thailand is perfect for me because back home, money means nothing and will not get you the same level of girlfriend you can achieve in Thailand. I would love to date the truly gorgeous, hi-so models I see around Paragon but they look for guys with way more money than me, as well as guys who are attractive (which I am not).

I would like to meet someone who is at the same level as me (income, education, etc.) but of course I want her to be 35 or younger and sexy as well when in fact I am not physically desirable (42, years old, not fat, but bald and short). These women don't give me the time of day. Most I got was a wave from a beautiful girl driving a Porsche 911 in my neighbourhood.

[wym]

When they're ready to go?

No, they decide when they're ready, not me. Obviously I'd prefer they stay longer.

What do you consider a fair exchange of value? Is this based on your own assumptions alone? 4000 baht a night wouldn't be unreasonable for someone of your girth, I would think.

Pity the small girls:( Maybe better off financially but feeling worthless and ashamed inside afterwards.

They also determine the value, as in other aspects of life, mostly depends on what they put in, I just facilitate make resources available. Self-confidence is a key part of that, they ALWAYS leave with a lot more of that than when they arrive, and not just "positive thinking" style, but based on real skills of value and for most pretty much certain prospects for achieving their goals.

Not an explicit pay for play arrangement, and believe me, most end up with a far better future as a result of their time with me.

Especially considering where they were headed before. . .

PS Not that it's relevant, but I don't live in the Isaan

Edited March 1, 2014 by wym

[somchaismith]

A thread which every potential Thai spouse hunter should read.

[thailiketoo]

Do men really come to Thailand looking for a wife? I've never met one. They came for a lot of things but I have never met a man who came here looking for a wife.

[Kitsune]

They don't adhere to traditional values, they just want a ticket out of here.

Why do you think we have so many stories about men being dumped the minute the wife gets full visa?

I meet hundreds of younger Thai women every month looking for a farang, not talking about sex workers but ordinary girls

Fewer than 5% of them would be willing to leave Thailand, probably more like 1 out of a hundred.

They would never dream of asking their man to share in the housework, change nappies etc.

So how does that fit with your viewpoint?

Sorry forgot the second reason : They want a ticket out of her OR poverty

there you go

[HardenedSoul]

They don't adhere to traditional values, they just want a ticket out of here.
Why do you think we have so many stories about men being dumped the minute the wife gets full visa?

I meet hundreds of younger Thai women every month looking for a farang, not talking about sex workers but ordinary girls

So how does that fit with your viewpoint?

I'm sure it would fit very well were it not for the fact that, in a mere 2 months, you've made close to 2400 posts so forgive me for being blunt, but, you're full of shit. You've probably run a hose from your cock to the toilet so you don't have to leave the screen.

"Hundreds of younger Thai women" my arse

When the man have a lot more money than the girl. Then he get a young girl in nearly every country.
How many 60 year old men in Thailand have a young girlfriend/wife with more money than they have?

That's bullshit too. The percentage of women in the West who place the size of a man's wallet above his looks/personality/sense of humour etc is nowhere near as high as it is in countries like Thailand.

It doesn't matter if you're a millionaire in the West; if you're a prick, you're a prick and the majority of women will tell you as much, before throwing their drink in your face and telling you to piss off.

[somchaismith]

Do men really come to Thailand looking for a wife? I've never met one. They came for a lot of things but I have never met a man who came here looking for a wife.

I feel that you;re being cynical and joking, because in reality there are lots of fellas who come here. looking for a wife. Though, I can't say the same about women coming here looking for husbands.

[wym]

Do men really come to Thailand looking for a wife? I've never met one. They came for a lot of things but I have never met a man who came here looking for a wife.

May not have been their original intention before arriving, but I know LOTS of guys that are currently here actively looking for one, including three of my long-time friends at the moment.

Sorry forgot the second reason : They want a ticket out of her OR poverty

there you go

Exactly, and of course getting out of poverty's a perfectly admirable goal isn't it.

However few are capable of doing so without a lot of risk and unpleasantness, have to admire those that figure out how.

[wym]

"Hundreds of younger Thai women" my arse

Sometimes that many in one day when the conditions are right.

For example, I attend a lot of upcountry weddings, often bring a few farang friends along for the party. When the village knows ahead of time, the party usually at least doubles in size, people that the family hardly knows show up from all over. They're very happy to have us for that reason, and of course we make a contribution to the expenses ourselves as well.

And even when I'm not actively looking, I've constantly got girls coming to me asking if I have any suitable friends, or for advice on how to proceed. Most have no interest in working the bar scene.

PS and what's the frequency of my posting got to do with anything? I most likely read and type a bit faster than you. . .

Edited March 1, 2014 by wym

[HardenedSoul]

"Hundreds of younger Thai women" my arse

Sometimes that many in one day when the conditions are right.

For example, I attend a lot of upcountry weddings, often bring a few farang friends along for the party. When the village knows ahead of time, the party usually at least doubles in size, people that the family hardly knows show up from all over. They're very happy to have us for that reason, and of course we make a contribution to the expenses ourselves as well.

And even when I'm not actively looking, I've constantly got girls coming to me asking if I have any suitable friends, or for advice on how to proceed. Most have no interest in working the bar scene.

PS and what's the frequency of my posting got to do with anything? I most likely read and type a bit faster than you. . .

My point was that you're on here 24/7. That's up to you of course but how the hell do you get out to meet anyone when it appears your entire life is lived on TV's forum?

[danmarnj]

The scenerio that impresses me the most is the fat old fart with the young good-looking girl on his arm has a smile and pep in his step in Thailand as opposed to similar guys in the US following the misses with the shopping cart at the Food Lion

[wym]

My point was that you're on here 24/7. That's up to you of course but how the hell do you get out to meet anyone when it appears your entire life is lived on TV's forum?

Circumstances are such that I'm on a break from my usual routine.

It's less than 10% of my time, just check in periodically working on more productive stuff in other windows at the same time.

[HalcyonDays]

When they're ready to go? What, are you fattening livestock? Who are you to determine something so vulgar? Some kind of perverted finishing school you run up in Issan? Jesus, I thought this forum was weird but my God….

I've just checked the rules for this forum.

26) Not to create multiple accounts. Any member found to have more than one account on the ThaiVisa Forum will be suspended. Suspended or banned members found creating additional accounts will be banned immediately.

WYM is someone who posted in the past and was banned. It's definitely him. I remember how he talked about "preparing" uneducated farm girls for a life of prostitution.

[HardenedSoul]

When they're ready to go? What, are you fattening livestock? Who are you to determine something so vulgar? Some kind of perverted finishing school you run up in Issan? Jesus, I thought this forum was weird but my God….

You comments about WYM's finishing school are interesting. I've seen posts like this before on this forum.

I'm now 100% sure that WYM posted on this forum in the past and was banned.

I remember he talked about coercing little farm girls into lives of prostitution.

I know I'm not wrong. There really was a guy a while back who talked about his "finishing school".

You're absolutely correct. Wym is the poster formerly known as BigJohnnyBKK who ran a "program" for girls he claimed were on their way to Pattaya to become prostitutes. He even claimed that mothers would come from far and wide to bring their daughters to his sordid little finishing school.

He purported to groom them to be good little domesticated Thai women who could cook, wash and iron to the standards a Western wife-hunter would expect and to submit sexually on cue. He claimed it was a more preferential option for them than going to Pattaya.

In return for this "grooming", the poor girls had to accommodate his crippled chopper for free as part of the "bedroom practical".

The man is an utter disgrace and ought to be lined up and shot

Edited March 1, 2014 by HardenedSoul

[wym]

I think there's a bit of confusion there, and I'm sure management is perfectly capable of deciding what's best for the forum.

As for myself, certainly no coercion involved in anything I've ever been involved with. I also definitely do my best to discourage any of my ex's from pursuing sex work, when it pays so little and is so risky compared to what they're capable of doing - finding a genuinely nice guy, maybe not rich but certainly comfortable enough and looking for long-term marriage.

But of course in the end, their choice what they want to do with their lives once they've left, and I'm not going to judge them, nothing wrong IMO with sex work from a moral POV.