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My gf wants to have an abortion.


advancebooking

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It never ceases to amaze me when the 'abortion' (infant murder) topic comes up how every man/woman and his/her dog tries to justify the logic behind it all.

1. Years of research have found that ripping an unborn baby apart (aka abortion) can cause serious injuries to it and probable death.

1. Years of research have found that ... (an) abortion can cause serious injuries to it (the fetus) and probable death.

I stopped reading after that gem of a statement ... coffee1.gif

.

I know, right!! ..face palm moment if ever i saw one!

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The worry is that the herbal poision that she drank for 12 days might cause defects / abnormalities and that this can only be determined at 16 to 20 weeks with the scans. It that stage of the babies growth its just too cruel to proceed with an abortion

This is one of the hardest things Ive ever had to deal with and probably the same for her. Its another one of life's lessons to be learnt the hard way.

I can imagine this is a very tough situation if you are both now considering to go through with the pregnancy.

I hope you can find out more information about this herbal medicine she took and if it could have potential side-effects or not.

If you do decide to go ahead, i hope you both have a healthy child and a happy relationship.

If however it is decided to abort, i hope you both can build on your relationship together and this does not fracture it. For, from what you described about your parter and how you come across, it sounds like you have all the right ingredients for a good relationship. You obviously are a caring person.

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LaraC ... my apologies ... this referencing system had me attribute 'once were warriors' observation to you ... sorry.

" It never ceases to amaze me when the 'abortion' (infant murder) topic comes up how every man/woman and his/her dog tries to justify the logic behind it all"

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Im the OP who wrote this thread.

Today my gf talked about 2 things.....

1. get on the internet and research sources regarding the herbal stuff she took and see if there is any proof or evidence of birth defects after ingestion. She did this and told me that she read one forum where a dr stated many thai women drink the drug when the first find out they get pregnant. The source states that they ended up having a healthy baby. I might try to contact the manufacturer.

2. meeting my gf's brother and his partner who is a pharmacist. My gf says her brother is a lovely guy and I thus thought it would be a good strategy for us to tell him about the pregnancy as he might positively influence his sister. If we meet and have a meal where there is wifi I thought that my gf could show the information to the pharmacist and see what her opinion is.

I respect and love my gf so much and know that its a womens choice. I can only have hope that a positive outcome comes out of this situation as Im finding all of this very upsetting - as my gf is as well.

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<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Im the OP who wrote this thread.

Today my gf talked about 2 things.....

1. get on the internet and research sources regarding the herbal stuff she took and see if there is any proof or evidence of birth defects after ingestion. She did this and told me that she read one forum where a dr stated many thai women drink the drug when the first find out they get pregnant. The source states that they ended up having a healthy baby. I might try to contact the manufacturer.

2. meeting my gf's brother and his partner who is a pharmacist. My gf says her brother is a lovely guy and I thus thought it would be a good strategy for us to tell him about the pregnancy as he might positively influence his sister. If we meet and have a meal where there is wifi I thought that my gf could show the information to the pharmacist and see what her opinion is.

I respect and love my gf so much and know that its a womens choice. I can only have hope that a positive outcome comes out of this situation as Im finding all of this very upsetting - as my gf is as well.

To be blunt it sounds as if you are causing much of the g/f's upset. Read Sheryl,s post above.

Then reflect.

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Hey dude

it is unfortunate that you are going through this situation but i would suggest both of you to sit together and take wise decisions. as you sad above she is a very intelligent girl i dont think you both would take a wrong decision and why would you resent her for this decision, i mean i respect your beliefs abut she is not ready for a baby now because of all 3 reasons and these 3 reason sounds genuine to me. other thing is rather than taking medicines i suggest you to go for an abortion and make sure this mistake wont happen again. you can have a baby when ever you want but time is not right now.

make wise decisions.


Lalit Verma

Edited by Sheryl
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In aspect on religion there are many bad thing will follow :

1) The fetus have spirit already, if she is Thai she should know will follow and make her ill always, this the good point to talk to her not to do that before too late.

2) The unborn cannot reborn waiting many years which really unfair to treat your own child this way.

3) If you not ready give up for adoption mix farang and Thai many people wanted to be the baby parent

4) Stop taking Chinese medicine as will have bad affect on the baby brain

5) Gift from God don't refuse even you can be single parent yourself if she need go for study.

6) Take tofu drink good for the baby.

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<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

In aspect on religion there are many bad thing will follow :

1) The fetus have spirit already, if she is Thai she should know will follow and make her ill always, this the good point to talk to her not to do that before too late.

2) The unborn cannot reborn waiting many years which really unfair to treat your own child this way.

3) If you not ready give up for adoption mix farang and Thai many people wanted to be the baby parent

4) Stop taking Chinese medicine as will have bad affect on the baby brain

5) Gift from God don't refuse even you can be single parent yourself if she need go for study.

6) Take tofu drink good for the baby.

Judging by this comment (above) it would appear this topic has run its course and should be closed down.

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Killing a baby is a very sensitive topic.

why should she want to kill a baby..

Let's dispense with the highly charged terms, shall we?. The OP's GF is about 5 weeks along. It's a collection of cells, not a baby.

5-weeks-pregnant-getting-things-in-order

As to the OP's situation, IMO he should make his position on the matter clear and then come to terms with the reality that she is going to do whatever she wants to do.

It's the beginning of a NEW LIFE, of a human being.

It is a living creature - like a dung beetle or an ant - but it is only a potential human being. A five-week-old fetus does not feel pain, let alone the full range of human experience.

Also, if the OP's religious convictions preclude abortion, I would like to know how his lady got pregnant in the first place. I don't know of any religions that endorse pre/extra-marital sex but condemns abortion.

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I think your Girl Friend is right. This is not the right time to have a baby. You should support her. In this period support from pratner is really essential. If you want to take baby than wait for 2-3 years and try againg.

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In aspect on religion there are many bad thing will follow :

1) The fetus have spirit already, if she is Thai she should know will follow and make her ill always, this the good point to talk to her not to do that before too late.

2) The unborn cannot reborn waiting many years which really unfair to treat your own child this way.

3) If you not ready give up for adoption mix farang and Thai many people wanted to be the baby parent

4) Stop taking Chinese medicine as will have bad affect on the baby brain

5) Gift from God don't refuse even you can be single parent yourself if she need go for study.

6) Take tofu drink good for the baby.

ok, there we have it then. the voice of reason.

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Perhaps as a "mature" gentleman you might want to practice safe sex next time with a partner you don't want to have a baby with.

The gentleman wants to have a baby. Get your facts correct. Besides that point,

I paid an accumulated bill close to 1 mil to have a baby ( test tube) and was unsuccessful.

And I would suggest that the op try talking to gf and tell her his point of view.

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Perhaps as a "mature" gentleman you might want to practice safe sex next time with a partner you don't want to have a baby with.

The gentleman wants to have a baby. Get your facts correct. Besides that point,

I paid an accumulated bill close to 1 mil to have a baby ( test tube) and was unsuccessful.

And I would suggest that the op try talking to gf and tell her his point of view.

Did you read a different thread to me?

As far I can see, they'd only been "dating" a short while, the baby was an accident and is with a girl that doesn't want a baby, hence my comment.

And what has a test tube baby got to do with anything?

Yes, he should be talking to her.

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Mechai Viravaidya's Foundation would be a good place to go. It's in Sukhumvit Soi 12 (next to Cabbages & Condoms). They can provide good, legal advice and can also provide solutions should your GF decide to proceeed.

http://www.pda.or.th/e_index.asp

A friend just asked me about a similar problem - is the Meechai Viravaidya's foundation in the same building as the PDA headquarters ? Do you know how much they charge?

Thanks

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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I believe the foundation is in the same building, yes. But it sounds like what you are concerned about is not the foundation but the PDA clinic.

Their charges are minimal - under 1,000 baht for most things -- and are waived in case of inability to pay.

Be forewarned though that it is a very "no frills" place. Perfectly safe but no hand-holding or amenities. Farangs are usually fine with it (some male TV members have opted to have vasectomies there, and a number of female TV members have used their FP and other services). But I find that middle/upper class Thai women sometimes react negatively to it.

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I believe the foundation is in the same building, yes. But it sounds like what you are concerned about is not the foundation but the PDA clinic.

Their charges are minimal - under 1,000 baht for most things -- and are waived in case of inability to pay.

Be forewarned though that it is a very "no frills" place. Perfectly safe but no hand-holding or amenities. Farangs are usually fine with it (some male TV members have opted to have vasectomies there, and a number of female TV members have used their FP and other services). But I find that middle/upper class Thai women sometimes react negatively to it.

Thanks Sheryl

Yes I think my friend needs the PDA clinic

Do you know if this is the address

Population and Community Development Association (PDA)

6 Sukhumvit 12, Klongtoey, Bangkok 10110

Tel : (+66)2229-4611-28 Fax : (+66)2229-4632

E-Mail : [email protected]

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

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I can't add much to this discussion because, like said, it's up to the gf to decide.

But I do believe a father can take care of a baby. I took care of our son most of the time (like 90% of the time), since he was born, because my wife was busy with work. Much depends on your personality. But it might be an option to take into account - you taking care of the baby.

It's strange how our lives can be so different. We went through hell for getting a baby, 6 years long, we tried everything. And you're going through hell because you get one. I wish my wife and I were in your situation. Life is unfair to many of us.

Good luck.

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Maybe a bit of information about the Chinese medicines she took.

The full bottle (750 gram) has the following herbs in it :

Aglaia pyramidata Hance 15 gram

Leonurus cardiaca 10 gram

Chinese foxglove (root) 15 gram

They are said to stimulate the uterus (and cause menstruation).

My wifes family has been selling traditional herbs for years and nobody ever got sick from them, but I didn't seem them get better either. It think most herbs just have a placebo effect.

I think it's impossible to say if these herbs did something to the baby, but for sure you wouldn't want to take them if were pregnant and wanted to have a baby.

Edited by kriswillems
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I'm the OP that raised this thread.

The latest is that my gf has decided to keep the baby. From the beginning I told her I would support her decision- whatever it was. She confided in her 'senior' at work and another friend and changed her mind thankfully.

I have since met her parents a few times and obviously we have not told them about the pregnancy.

I told my gf that I would support her studying her residency next year. I will partake in raising the child with help from a nanny whilst she studies.

I have done research on the herbal medicine product that she consumed at the early stages (refer photo) and an experienced Obstetrician mentioned yesterday that many thai women take it when their period does not come. The dr said that in most cases there are no birth defects.

When I raised this topic it was a difficult time and I appreciate all the opnions posted above- especially Sheryl the moderator. The boss of TV should be giving her a pay rise.

I'm ok for this thread to be closed but its up to Sheryl.

cheers

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