Shocking use of violence and force on my Norwegian son and Thai students at Thai primary school

[paulrobertlane]

you're wasting your time.

corporal punishment is common in gov schools,

seen it firsthand, thai kids know and expect it, sometimes its at an acceptable level, sometimes brutal.

whether you agree or want to call in the hague

wont change a thing

I can assure you it is not a waste of time oif you follow due procedure. Yes, it will not stop it in the big picture but it is quite simple to ensure your own kids are not the ones who will be on the receiving end.

[wolfmanjack]

I haven't read all the responses here so I may be repeating what others have said, but this is my advice. First of all, you need to speak with the mother and really and truly understand where she stands on this issue. If she is perfectly OK with what is happening to your son then she is not going to take him out of that school and you have a very big decision to make. You could end up in a situation one day when your son is visiting his mother where they deny you access to your son FOREVER!

If you think this could happen then you need to see if your son is OK with him living with you in Norway until he is 18 and finished with school and never go back to Thailand. This is the only way you can protect him and give him a good education. Any legal battles that arise will take a long time to resolve and your son will be protected that much longer. Thailand is 100% biased in favor of its citizens as well as being a third world backward country when it comes to the "rule of law" and "what's right" and a falang can never expect justice. A Luk Krueng (half-Thai) is not Thai until they want him to be Thai for their own selfish purposes.

Once you are in Thailand and if the mother and family try to keep him from you I think your son will be lost to you. I seriously doubt any Thai court will award you custody of your son and while any battle is going on your son will still be in that school.

I do not know about other parts of thaiand but the judges in chaing mai seem to take the child's best interest into account when making decisions.

I personally know 3 falang fathers that have 100% custody awarded to them by thai judges.

[CMBob]

Whether legal or not or accepted practice or not, there's no valid reason for an adult to hit a kid with a stick. Cowardly adults in my view.

My only advice to the OP is to do or say nothing until you talk it over with a Thai lawyer. Presuming you can find a reasonable Thai lawyer, it'd be wise to find out from him/her if he/she believes there was wrongdoing here and, even if that's the case, whether it would be prudent/wise/effective to take any other further action. If the lawyer might say that any action you take would likely be a waste of time or might even result in some action, legal or otherwise, back against you, then I'd suggest to do nothing (other than, of course, keeping your son away from those creeps).

[RedQualia]

I am very close to my son as up to last year we lived alone in Norway for a couple of years. Before that he lived about 60% with me from he was 2 1/2. From what I ve heard it was more of this in Thailand before but today most most schools doesnt dicipline their studenst this way. I think if you ask around with your really good Thai friends or older people and they will tell you teachers diciplined Thai students often this way before. But to what degree or with what force each teacher used their sticks on a kid I dont know.

You dont really have to wonder if it happens or not, its enough videos on youtube covering this problem in thai schools

"Thai teacher canes student for no home work"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt_3mDPJbR0

"Cell Phone Video: Thai Teacher Hits Students?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFSDlm0lHBc

"Teachers dicipline students in rural Thailand"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfO_qfPBapI

This was exactly what my son told me happened to other students if they didnt do homework. My son was never diciplined though as he always had done his homework.

My daughter always seemed to like to just torment her mother. Alas, her mother would usually take it. But there was a time when my daughter was about five years old, and she had done something particularly egregious. Sorry, I cannot remember what it was. I only know it was quite bad, because I decided to spank her. Because it was so bad, and because she had never been spanked before, I made quite a production out of it. I first let her know that it was unfortunate, but that I was going to have to beat her. I let her think about that for a good long time. Maybe two hours or so, while we had dinner, and etc. But finally, it was time. I asked her what I should use to beat her. She had no recommendations, of course, and so I proceeded through a list of possible items, finally settling on a bristle hairbrush. Which of course, I asked her to go and get for me. She returned with it, looking quite fearful and worried. I then asked her to bend over, across my lap (she had to do all the work in this). And then I proceeded to "lay into her," saying all sorts of nasty, angry, concerned father sorts of things in the process. And she cried, and screamed, and carried on something fierce. Only thing was, the hairbrush barely touched her at all. It was all theater. She was in no way physically harmed or hurt. But she certainly remembered it for the rest of her childhood. Now and again, she would ramp back up and start to torment her mother again. Often in play that had gotten out of hand, with the child turning to meanness, and the mother unable/unwilling to defend herself. In those times, all I had to do was utter her name in a certain way, with a certain tone, and all problems would immediately stop. I never spanked/beat her again, after that, though I did slap her once, when she was about age 14. Not all that hard, but she'd done something incredibly stupid, and I was intent on getting her attention.

Flash forward 30 years. The child we reared is now grown, with children of her own. Her mother and I divorced some number of years back, and I live in Thailand now. For a few different reasons (professed by the daughter), she dislikes her mother enormously. Makes me pretty sad when I think about it, really. I do not dislike her mother. I just can't live with her anymore. The daughter and I get along, however... Fairly well.

Living in Thailand, I of course decided to try my hand at teaching at a nearby government school. Not much money involved, really. More like "favor for a friend," and/or, "getting my feet wet." The students in question were ages 4-7 years. The students 4 and 5 years old were quite nice, charming, willing to respectfully play teacher games, etc. But something had happened to the six year olds... They were less supervised, I guess. More prone to peer pressure, and so "showing off," less interested in "playing teacher games," and more interested in publicly challenging the teacher over whatever little thing was at hand. This sort of behavior increased by an order of magnitude in the seven year olds. There was an interesting variety of students as well... There were the two or three young girls sitting right in front, always with their homework done, always ready with the answers for the teacher's questions. And not to be completely rude, really, but there were several dumb ones, too. There were the 5-6 boys sitting together in the corner who were much more interested in playing with one another under the desks, no matter what teacher might do. Even separating them to different parts of the room didn't work, because hey -- there are more young boys in every area. And too, there were some I would call mean. Always looking for meanness to perform. I take it that these students didn't have terribly great home lives. I had little luck disciplining/controlling my students. Perhaps it would have been better if I wasn't "the roaming farang teacher," spending only so much time with one group of 30 odd students before going to the next group. I did send several students to see the headmaster at different times, and now and again, they would return sobbing. I have no idea what he may have done with/to the different students. Sending them outside didn't work well, however. And you bet -- there were times when I simply wanted to smack the little shits. But I never hit the first one.

In the end, I lasted one term. I didn't need the money at all, and I simply wasn't up to the task of trying to educate 30 odd students at a time who had absolutely no interest in learning. Perhaps if I had had a ruler to bash little hands with, it would have been different. Or maybe a cane. I do remember getting paddled now and again back in elementary school. I believe my thinking at the time was something along the lines of how "any student who didn't get paddled simply isn't trying." He "isn't doing his job of elementary school student properly." Would I teach again, here in LOS? I don't know... I wouldn't teach elementary school anymore. That's a tough job. And I have heard nothing to make me think teaching older primary school students would be any easier or more rewarding. I've considered teaching university, on the assumption that there, I might finally find students who were actually more interested in learning than in horseplay and peer pressure. But the things I've actually heard and read on the matter make me very much skeptical. Again, I don't need the money. Unless and until I do, I will probably forgo further teaching efforts, unless specifically asked. I'm just not up to working so hard for so little learning and so much drama.

All these things being said, then what I most wish to say that I see no abuse in these videos, though I do see teachers disciplining school children. Too, there is caning, and there is caning. All the children in the videos are "being caned" through their school clothes, and clearly in front of the other students. It's not quite like Muslims tying the opposition politician/harlot to a stake, stripping their clothes and giving them 40 brutal lashes with a fully frayed, long cane whip. Those students watching are actually intended to witness the affair, in the interests of embarrassing the student being disciplined, and in all students knowing what will happen if they misbehave. Does it hurt? Probably, with the pain ranging in severity. It would depend in part on how much the student(s) may have pissed off the teacher, and in part, on how brutal the teacher might be as a person. From "I am sorry, Khun Lek, but this is all for show" to "damit Somchai, this is the sixth time you've forced me to do this, and the first month of the school term isn't even over yet!!!"

Teaching can be a really, really tough go. Anywhere, but especially here in LOS. Who knows... If I had felt comfortable with a cane in a Thai classroom, and too, had the will to use it (no small thing for some of us), then who knows... I might still be teaching the little buggers.

But then, wait... No... I forgot. I'd have to deal with that snot-nosed buffalo Somchai's parents, coming to complain that someone actually tried to discipline there worthless child in one way or another. Hell no... It just ain't worth it, and I ain't gonna do it no more.

One more thought occurs, relating to another comment somewhere here... I do recall from my childhood that mothers wielding wire coat hangers were generally incapable of inflicting pain. Although, my mother did get my attention somewhat when she hit me over the head with my guitar.

Edited March 29, 2014 by RedQualia

[mimi9000]

For love of your son and the poor ability of Thailand to protect people, do not send your son to Thailand for any reason. If he schools in Norway, that's great, but still do not send him to thailand, even to visit his mom, because the risk will be to never see him outside of Thailand again.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[paulrobertlane]

I am very close to my son as up to last year we lived alone in Norway for a couple of years. Before that he lived about 60% with me from he was 2 1/2. From what I ve heard it was more of this in Thailand before but today most most schools doesnt dicipline their studenst this way. I think if you ask around with your really good Thai friends or older people and they will tell you teachers diciplined Thai students often this way before. But to what degree or with what force each teacher used their sticks on a kid I dont know.

You dont really have to wonder if it happens or not, its enough videos on youtube covering this problem in thai schools

"Thai teacher canes student for no home work"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt_3mDPJbR0

"Cell Phone Video: Thai Teacher Hits Students?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFSDlm0lHBc

"Teachers dicipline students in rural Thailand"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfO_qfPBapI

This was exactly what my son told me happened to other students if they didnt do homework. My son was never diciplined though as he always had done his homework.

My daughter always seemed to like to just torment her mother. Alas, her mother would usually take it. But there was a time when my daughter was about five years old, and she had done something particularly egregious. Sorry, I cannot remember what it was. I only know it was quite bad, because I decided to spank her. Because it was so bad, and because she had never been spanked before, I made quite a production out of it. I first let her know that it was unfortunate, but that I was going to have to beat her. I let her think about that for a good long time. Maybe two hours or so, while we had dinner, and etc. But finally, it was time. I asked her what I should use to beat her. She had no recommendations, of course, and so I proceeded through a list of possible items, finally settling on a bristle hairbrush. Which of course, I asked her to go and get for me. She returned with it, looking quite fearful and worried. I then asked her to bend over, across my lap (she had to do all the work in this). And then I proceeded to "lay into her," saying all sorts of nasty, angry, concerned father sorts of things in the process. And she cried, and screamed, and carried on something fierce. Only thing was, the hairbrush barely touched her at all. It was all theater. She was in no way physically harmed or hurt. But she certainly remembered it for the rest of her childhood. Now and again, she would ramp back up and start to torment her mother again. Often in play that had gotten out of hand, with the child turning to meanness, and the mother unable/unwilling to defend herself. In those times, all I had to do was utter her name in a certain way, with a certain tone, and all problems would immediately stop. I never spanked/beat her again, after that, though I did slap her once, when she was about age 14. Not all that hard, but she'd done something incredibly stupid, and I was intent on getting her attention.

Flash forward 30 years. The child we reared is now grown, with children of her own. Her mother and I divorced some number of years back, and I live in Thailand now. For a few different reasons (professed by the daughter), she dislikes her mother enormously. Makes me pretty sad when I think about it, really. I do not dislike her mother. I just can't live with her anymore. The daughter and I get along, however... Fairly well.

Living in Thailand, I of course decided to try my hand at teaching at a nearby government school. Not much money involved, really. More like "favor for a friend," and/or, "getting my feet wet." The students in question were ages 4-7 years. The students 4 and 5 years old were quite nice, charming, willing to respectfully play teacher games, etc. But something had happened to the six year olds... They were less supervised, I guess. More prone to peer pressure, and so "showing off," less interested in "playing teacher games," and more interested in publicly challenging the teacher over whatever little thing was at hand. This sort of behavior increased by an order of magnitude in the seven year olds. There was an interesting variety of students as well... There were the two or three young girls sitting right in front, always with their homework done, always ready with the answers for the teacher's questions. And not to be completely rude, really, but there were several dumb ones, too. There were the 5-6 boys sitting together in the corner who were much more interested in playing with one another under the desks, no matter what teacher might do. Even separating them to different parts of the room didn't work, because hey -- there are more young boys in every area. And too, there were some I would call mean. Always looking for meanness to perform. I take it that these students didn't have terribly great home lives. I had little luck disciplining/controlling my students. Perhaps it would have been better if I wasn't "the roaming farang teacher," spending only so much time with one group of 30 odd students before going to the next group. I did send several students to see the headmaster at different times, and now and again, they would return sobbing. I have no idea what he may have done with/to the different students. Sending them outside didn't work well, however. And you bet -- there were times when I simply wanted to smack the little shits. But I never hit the first one.

In the end, I lasted one term. I didn't need the money at all, and I simply wasn't up to the task of trying to educate 30 odd students at a time who had absolutely no interest in learning. Perhaps if I had had a ruler to bash little hands with, it would have been different. Or maybe a cane. I do remember getting paddled now and again back in elementary school. I believe my thinking at the time was something along the lines of how "any student who didn't get paddled simply isn't trying. He "isn't doing his job of elementary school student properly." Would I teach again, here in LOS? I don't know... I wouldn't teach elementary school anymore. That's a tough job. And I have heard nothing to make me think teaching older primary school students would be any easier or more rewarding. I've considered teaching university, on the assumption that there, I might finally find students who were actually more interested in learning than in horseplay and peer pressure. But the things I've actually heard and read on the matter make me very much skeptical. Again, I don't need the money. Unless and until I do, I will probably forgo further teaching efforts, unless specifically asked. I'm just not up to working so hard for so little learning and so much drama.

All these things being said, then what I most wish to say that I see no abuse in these videos, though I do see teachers disciplining school children. Too, there is caning, and there is caning. All the children in the videos are "being caned" through their school clothes, and clearly in front of the other students. It's not quite like Muslims tying the opposition politician/harlot to a stake, stripping their clothes and giving them 40 brutal lashes with a fully frayed, long cane whip. Those students watching are actually intended to witness the affair, in the interests of embarrassing the student being disciplined, and in all students knowing what will happen if they misbehave. Does it hurt? Probably, with the pain ranging in severity. It would depend in part on how much the student(s) may have pissed off the teacher, and in part, on how brutal the teacher might be as a person. From "I am sorry, Khun Lek, but this is all for show" to "damit Somchai, this is the sixth time you've forced me to do this, and the first month of the school term isn't even over yet!!!"

Teaching can be a really, really tough go. Anywhere, but especially here in LOS. Who knows... If I had felt comfortable with a cane in a Thai classroom, and too, had the will to use it (no small thing for some of us), then who knows... I might still be teaching the little buggers.

But then, wait... No... I forgot. I'd have to deal with that snot-nosed buffalo Somchai's parents, coming to complain that someone actually tried to discipline there worthless child in one way or another. Hell no... It just ain't worth it, and I ain't gonna do it no more.

One more thought occurs, relating to another comment somewhere here... I do recall from my childhood that mothers wielding wire coat hangers were generally incapable of inflicting pain. Although, my mother did get my attention somewhat when she hit me over the head with my guitar.

Whatever your personal views, and the arguments for and against cp will go on forever, the teachers in those videos are breaking the law. Likewise, any teacher you witnessed doing similar (assuming it was after 2005).

Regardless of peoples view on corporal punishment do you think it is "ok" for teachers, of all people, to break the law? Especially criminal law.

We are constantly bemoaning the lack of respect for the law here! it is hardly surprising is it? Kids know the teachers are breaking the law but will assume it is acceptable to do so.

Edited March 29, 2014 by paulrobertlane

[bkksiam]

There is a website that focuses on exposing and eradicating corporal punishment in thai schools. see http://thaiteachers.wordpress.com/thai-teachers/

The site has a contact page that you can use to report the abuse suffered by your child.

[belg]

bi-linugal private school ... cheaper than international and faaaaaaaaaaaaaar better than no use governemental

[GAZZPA]

Clearly you are a decent father, if you weren't you wouldn't be posting here and writing such post. So, I am sure that you have already though of this but my view is firstly get your son out of there, immediately. Then investigate what is going on. I am sure your son is being truthful and in which case it's disgraceful behavior, luckily your son seems to have his head squarely on his shoulders and is strong enough to simply tell you what is happening.

The chances of you changing anything at the school are very slim, simply because the Thai's just don't listen, especially to a single, foreign father. However, that doesn't mean that you cannot apply some pressure. Talking to other parents is a good idea, and putting together a few more parent names will help a lot. Then take it to the school head and the school board with a clear threat of action via the legal system if they don't satisfactorily deal with your complaint. The fact that your son remembers the teacher names (not surprised he does though if they are so cruel) will make a huge difference.

Good luck to you and your son, I am sure that it will all work out for the best.

[Dannyboy6]

Nothing compared to going to Catholic School in The States, back in early sixties, I had a pointer broken over my leg in second grade by the nuns and then went to Military Academy was beaten with paddles , one day got 32 swats, and being in push-up position for 1/2 hours or more, I graduated in 72, yeah I hated school, and then the bullies after school, another story to tell...

[gemguy]

I have had a short talk with him today where I specifically asked him about what his mother said when he told her. He said she told him it is this way in Thailand so students will behave and remember. When he then told her that it really hurts, he said she didn’t answer.

His mother definitely accepts a more violent way in child raise. Last year after he moved to her I can recall he told me his mother had hit him with those thin metal clothes hangers and I confronted her with it. Her answer was that he was not behaving well. My son told me this again now and that she had hit him several times with them but not so often. More often she had hit him hard on his butt and arms till he cried.

Just to understand, his mother and I have had terrible communication since last October so I never really understood what was going on at the school. Because I felt I lost communication with my son is also the reason for why he is back to live with me now. For me its totally inacceptable to use a kid as a tool if two parents have disagreements. Even we had one incident when we lived together and where she attacked me with her nails all over my body I didn’t think of her being violent towards our son could be a problem. The few years we lived together I always told her that violent behaviour towards any kid when raising them would not be ok ok and that they could be dealt with a different way.

About getting in touch with other parents there and I think its almost impossible for me to do or gain something from it. It’s a pretty closed community of 300 people and with no luk-krung kids. I don’t know anyone there other than my sons grandmother (who also have hit him sometimes he told me) and his uncle who is just is nice to him. I have also only been there once in my life. I think a small thai community would never support my case if I showed up out of nowhere to give the local school some beating. But for sure, had I lived there and I would have made it very clear towards the schools teachers and its management that they are not allowed to hit my son.

As I up to recently lived 10 years in Thailand I have heard some similar stories. Some from media, on Youtube and also heard from a few Thai friends about similar punishment and corrections. Still I choose to believe this school is one of few that has more of it. Maybe this school have developed a bad culture there. I don’t know. He also told me one teacher threw a chair in the wall while screaming. They got really scared.

For sure all this its illegal and not according to the Thai Ministery of Education; my thai fiancé and I have talked about it and she told me she have seen many stories in the media about this and where some teachers actually have end up in jail too.

My wife is very concerned about our child being educated in the Thai education system which does not have a good reputation anyhow.

Best to put him in another school .....if you can..... or better yet in a international school so that he is not brainwashed to "think like a Thai"...which is a really scary thought, come to think of it.

[eezergood]

In the current school I work at the teachers have no problem hitting the kindergarten students. Canes, rulers anything goes. I have tried to bring it up with the head foreign teacher but nothing gets done. Its border line, if not completely abusive.

Where do you work???

I can live, from the parents, with a measure of physical discipline for kids NOT infants - that is plain wrong.

In order to put this into perspective, I would like to visit your workplace & observe your colleagues. When they make a grammatical mistake, or any mistake, I would take to them with my fists. Within days that should teach them!

[richthai]

I am a teacher in a bilingual school. The Thai Ministry of Education (MOE) has made it against the law to hit a student. It is even illegal to emotionally torment a student. That includes embarrassing a student in front of the class by ridicule.

Get a lawyer and press charges against the school and the teachers.

Corporal punishment is NOT Effective for disciplining children - either in the school or in the home. It teaches children the wrong lesson. It is because people are too lazy to spend the time in more constructive forms of discipline to develop their student or their child.

[rudolfvaselino]

That is the reason I left Thailand with my kid. I am divorced from my Thai wife, have 100% custody for 6 years already. The latest 'schoolparty' at my kids Thai Public School was the limit for me. While youngsters are doing a dance performance, one of the teacher stands next with a cane in her hands. Once I collected my child and all pupils were lined up at 15.30. Like a military drill which is not so bad, but I noticed from a distance one teacher (who thought she was out of sight) hitting a young boy until he dropped on his knees.

Behind the ever lasting smiles is a cruel, often Medieval Education system. And if the skin color is dark(er) you are being told your perspectives are lower anyway.

My child got teased a lot at school but the teacher did not dare to touch her, knowing I would take action. The teasing was mainly about him having a foreign father and no mother around.

If you want the best for your child, offer education in Norway. If you do not have custody; take action and get it arranged if possible even if you have to pay the mother a 'ransom'. Any tips needed, let me know I have been through it all.........

[Traveler19491]

You have indicated that your son comes to stay with you in Norway, and that he is part Norwegian by birth. I am not at all familiar with Norwegian law, but I would assume that having a Norwegian father would make him a Norwegian citizen. If so, the solution seems quite clear to me. You take him to Norway with you, and he never sees Thailand again, until he has finished his schooling. Several downsides to this solution. One, he would not see his mother, or his mother's family for several years. However, you have also indicated that his mother has no problem with his being abused, and apparently she has no problem abusing him herself. In my opinion, this immediately disqualifies her as a fit mother. I agree with previous posters that, due to the nature of Thai culture, it is highly improbable that your objections, either to her or to the school administrators, will do anything to remedy this situation. Two, his mother would, I assume, object strenuously to her not being able to see her son. However, her only recourse, once your son is in Norway, is to appeal to the Norwegian authorities. Should she choose to do that, it would seem fairly easy to demonstrate to the Norwegian courts the conditions your son has been forced to endure, and I would believe that, being as enlightened as the Scandinavian countries are, they would be very hesitant to send your son back into the hands of his tormentors. Three, your son may eventually miss his mother and wish to see her. If that happens, you pay for her flight to Norway, and her expenses while there (certainly no more expensive than you visiting Thailand), and she can visit with him, supervised, for as long as she wishes. So, pack your son up, catch the next flight to Norway, and give him the loving, calm, rational environment that he so deserves.

[Traveler19491]

Nothing compared to going to Catholic School in The States, back in early sixties, I had a pointer broken over my leg in second grade by the nuns and then went to Military Academy was beaten with paddles , one day got 32 swats, and being in push-up position for 1/2 hours or more, I graduated in 72, yeah I hated school, and then the bullies after school, another story to tell...

So your mistreatment in the past makes current abuse of students OK? "Nothing compared to..." would seem to indicate that this father should just overlook his son's abuse and not worry about it.

[phanangpete]

Your exwife seems to agree with this sort of action, which by the way is appalling. its not entirely her fault , thai women ,especially non educated ones tend to shy away from issues that involve officials of any sort including teachers. I have a seven year old daughter and my partner is still with me after 9yrs hard labour !so i know a bit about what goes on.

Luckily enough ,daughter is at a very small school, country type school and this dosen't go on. I don't know about the senior one yet ,but ill will check, im a bit a

of a tough guy myself and woul'nt tolerate it.

If i were you id go see a lawyer, take son evidence if poss , i take no it bruises now, ask him what course of action , but don't hold out on your hopes too highly, its truly a third world ,complex society.

Ps the native American Indian did'nt beat their children and thats a long time ago .

[Dannyboy6]

Nothing compared to going to Catholic School in The States, back in early sixties, I had a pointer broken over my leg in second grade by the nuns and then went to Military Academy was beaten with paddles , one day got 32 swats, and being in push-up position for 1/2 hours or more, I graduated in 72, yeah I hated school, and then the bullies after school, another story to tell...

So your mistreatment in the past makes current abuse of students OK? "Nothing compared to..." would seem to indicate that this father should just overlook his son's abuse and not worry about it.

of course not, but parents are little soft nowadays , I've never been to a Police Station...

[boglarviri]

Hi,

I'm a teacher in an international kindergarten and to have my Thai teacher license I had to attend a few seminars touching this topic as well.In the next couple of days I will give you the exact way and person to talk to and start the procedure what you plan to do. It is not hopeless, there is a section in the Thai Educational Ministry who take care of such problems and they take their job seriously. Will back to you in a couple of days, I need to find my notes of these seminars. Hope it will help. Shame on them.

[Beetlejuice]

So, what's wrong with a bit of punishment? We've all gone through it and it has made (the most of) us into upright, honest and good citizens. I'd congratulate any teacher in Thailand (on any other country for that matter) for teaching my kids a bit of discipline.

Why have we gone soft in the West?!

I think you will light a fire in the "Family and childrens" section if violent punishment seen in these videos is your choice of dicipline. Hard to believe someone having kids suporting this, so I assume you dont have any kids living with you.

You asked for some advice and here it is.

I am always saddened to hear of cases like this where the children have to bear the brunt of their parent’s problems. It appears the poor child has been pushed from pillar to post. One time he is in Norway and then the next instant he is in Thailand pushed into an all-Thai school, probably totally confused, feeling alienated, miserable and not having a sense of belonging neither here nor there or to whom. I am not surprised that the situation has become out of control, especially with a father like you who has to ask on an open forum what to do about his kid. This really doesn`t give the lad much hope, does it?

Also if the mother is caring for your son in Thailand and you are only on the scene on occasions, you cannot expect the mother to consider your opinions regarding the child if you are not there to give any support and oversee yourself as to what is going on.

There is no point in complaining to that Thai school just yet, that should be secondary as your first mission should be to get your son settled and out of that school, never having to send him back. Plenty of time to take action against the said school later on.

You have 3 choices:

1. You keep your son in Norway and apply for full custody rights, and making arrangements for his care if or while you are away working,

2. You go and talk with your ex-wife, explain your concerns and what you expect for your son in Thailand and send him to an International school, giving your complete support, including all expenses when required, the whole time your son is in Thailand.

3. You return your son to Thailand and leave his welfare completely at the discretion of the child’s mother.

These are the only options you have and I ask; so what’s it to be? It`s that simple.

Edited March 29, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[benalibina]

So, what's wrong with a bit of punishment? We've all gone through it and it has made (the most of) us into upright, honest and good citizens. I'd congratulate any teacher in Thailand (on any other country for that matter) for teaching my kids a bit of discipline.

Why have we gone soft in the West?!

I think you will light a fire in the "Family and childrens" section if violent punishment seen in these videos is your choice of dicipline. Hard to believe someone having kids suporting this, so I assume you dont have any kids living with you.

You asked for some advice and here it is.

I am always saddened to hear of cases like this where the children have to bear the brunt of their parents problems. It appears the poor child has been pushed from pillar to post. One time he is in Norway and then the next instant he is in Thailand pushed into an all-Thai school, probably totally confused, feeling alienated, miserable and not having a sense of belonging neither here nor there or to whom. I am not surprised that the situation has become out of control, especially with a father like you who has to ask on an open forum what to do about his kid. This really doesn`t give the lad much hope, does it?

Also if the mother is caring for your son in Thailand and you are only on the scene on occasions, you cannot expect the mother to consider your opinions regarding the child if you are not there to give any support and oversee yourself as to what is going on.

There is no point in complaining to that Thai school just yet, that should be secondary as your first mission should be to get your son settled and out of that school, never having to send him back. Plenty of time to take action against the said school later on.

You have 3 choices:

1. You keep your son in Norway and apply for full custody rights, and making arrangements for his care if or while you are away working,

2. You go and talk with your ex-wife, explain your concerns and what you expect for your son in Thailand and send him to an International school, giving your complete support, including all expenses when required, the whole time your son is in Thailand.

3. You return your son to Thailand and leave his welfare completely at the discretion of the childs mother.

These are the only options you have and I ask; so whats it to be? It`s that simple.

Readingskills are not an asset you posess. At least on this topic. I suggest you read the OP again. All the points/options you are making/suggesting are totally ignoring the reason of this topic. He never asked about that.

So be a good boy and read the OP and consequent comments again.

[ThaiTbone]

There is a website that focuses on exposing and eradicating corporal punishment in thai schools. see http://thaiteachers.wordpress.com/thai-teachers/

The site has a contact page that you can use to report the abuse suffered by your child.

thanks, I`ll have a look at it

[ThaiTbone]

bi-linugal private school ... cheaper than international and faaaaaaaaaaaaaar better than no use governemental

If we continued to live in Phuket my son would have attended Kajonkiet Bi-lingual school. Its reputation is very good. I think they have about 120-130 foreign teachers there. If I am not wrong, in 2011 they planned to build another school in Kathu. so might be even more foreignn teachers there now

Edited March 29, 2014 by ThaiTbone

[Beetlejuice]

So, what's wrong with a bit of punishment? We've all gone through it and it has made (the most of) us into upright, honest and good citizens. I'd congratulate any teacher in Thailand (on any other country for that matter) for teaching my kids a bit of discipline.

Why have we gone soft in the West?!

I think you will light a fire in the "Family and childrens" section if violent punishment seen in these videos is your choice of dicipline. Hard to believe someone having kids suporting this, so I assume you dont have any kids living with you.

You asked for some advice and here it is.

I am always saddened to hear of cases like this where the children have to bear the brunt of their parents problems. It appears the poor child has been pushed from pillar to post. One time he is in Norway and then the next instant he is in Thailand pushed into an all-Thai school, probably totally confused, feeling alienated, miserable and not having a sense of belonging neither here nor there or to whom. I am not surprised that the situation has become out of control, especially with a father like you who has to ask on an open forum what to do about his kid. This really doesn`t give the lad much hope, does it?

Also if the mother is caring for your son in Thailand and you are only on the scene on occasions, you cannot expect the mother to consider your opinions regarding the child if you are not there to give any support and oversee yourself as to what is going on.

There is no point in complaining to that Thai school just yet, that should be secondary as your first mission should be to get your son settled and out of that school, never having to send him back. Plenty of time to take action against the said school later on.

You have 3 choices:

1. You keep your son in Norway and apply for full custody rights, and making arrangements for his care if or while you are away working,

2. You go and talk with your ex-wife, explain your concerns and what you expect for your son in Thailand and send him to an International school, giving your complete support, including all expenses when required, the whole time your son is in Thailand.

3. You return your son to Thailand and leave his welfare completely at the discretion of the childs mother.

These are the only options you have and I ask; so whats it to be? It`s that simple.

Readingskills are not an asset you posess. At least on this topic. I suggest you read the OP again. All the points/options you are making/suggesting are totally ignoring the reason of this topic. He never asked about that.

So be a good boy and read the OP and consequent comments again.

Before you accuse me of not possessing any reading skills, please learn how to spell the words first.

The theme of this topic is the shocking treatment and violence used against the said child regarding his attendance at a Thai school in which I am addressing. The way the OP has described this school makes it appear more like a juvenile correctional facility rather than an educational establishment.

My main concerns is for the child`s welfare that is keeping within the theme of this thread, according to the situation of the child the way the OP has described. In answering the OP`s questions, as I said, the OP has 3 options, therefore I am asking the father what future plans he has for his son so that the child never has to suffer such a traumatic experience again.

Again I will repeat myself; making a complaint to the school has to be secondary to the future well being and settlement of this child, meaning; the father has to set his priorities right first, which in this case is the happiness of this child and getting him into a permanent, caring, secure and safe environment.

Otherwise how else would you like me to explain this in a way that even you may understand ?

Edited March 29, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[ThaiTbone]

You have indicated that your son comes to stay with you in Norway, and that he is part Norwegian by birth. I am not at all familiar with Norwegian law, but I would assume that having a Norwegian father would make him a Norwegian citizen. If so, the solution seems quite clear to me. You take him to Norway with you, and he never sees Thailand again, until he has finished his schooling. Several downsides to this solution. One, he would not see his mother, or his mother's family for several years. However, you have also indicated that his mother has no problem with his being abused, and apparently she has no problem abusing him herself. In my opinion, this immediately disqualifies her as a fit mother. I agree with previous posters that, due to the nature of Thai culture, it is highly improbable that your objections, either to her or to the school administrators, will do anything to remedy this situation. Two, his mother would, I assume, object strenuously to her not being able to see her son. However, her only recourse, once your son is in Norway, is to appeal to the Norwegian authorities. Should she choose to do that, it would seem fairly easy to demonstrate to the Norwegian courts the conditions your son has been forced to endure, and I would believe that, being as enlightened as the Scandinavian countries are, they would be very hesitant to send your son back into the hands of his tormentors. Three, your son may eventually miss his mother and wish to see her. If that happens, you pay for her flight to Norway, and her expenses while there (certainly no more expensive than you visiting Thailand), and she can visit with him, supervised, for as long as she wishes. So, pack your son up, catch the next flight to Norway, and give him the loving, calm, rational environment that he so deserves.

His mother will not try to have him stay with her. She knows its impossible as I dont give my consent to a visa for my son to live with her where she now lives. She lives outside of Thailand and is married to a new man. My son is both Thai and Norwegian citizen but only holds a Norwegian passport and always will. I refused to let him have a Thai passport last year and it proved to be smart. Its impossible for her to travel with him to countries outside of EU. Its more of a private matter but it was actually his mother who brought him back to Norway and actally by a surprise. I had informed her that I was going to pick him up in April and bring him home with me after our holiday.

Also I have a statment from the Norwegian government (BUFETAT) that he lives with me as she didnt show up here during our divorce. In a divorce here if only one parent show up at this meeting they automatically reward that parent to live with the kid. So what goes for Norway and it is impossible to remove him from me here.

In 2012 I paid a trip for her to come here on holiday. I moved out and they had a good 2 weeks alone just mother and son. He loved that and she was kind to him like before. It was only this time in her village with her family around and drinking some every day that she was more violent than before to him he has told me.

About holidaying in Thailand and its no problem. I am there 4 times a year now and we went there before and he stayed with his mother for a couple of weeks.

Me and son loves Thailand by our hearts and will never stop to go there. Thailand at the moment feels more home and our future is there. When work and other practical things in life will let us do and we will live there. We just want to see the beating of students to end in Thailand. if I can participate with our story on the way for this to happen and I`ve done mine. One story more is one story more on the weight. One day I belive the beating will stop..

Edited March 29, 2014 by ThaiTbone

[Skint]

OP, I wouldn't bother wasting money on Thai lawyers you already know what the outcome will be, You would not get this in your home country that is your answer. Take your kid and give him the proper education he deserves back home forget the dreamer expat teachers and the private schools of Thailand they just do not come up to standard.

Edited March 29, 2014 by Skint

[ThaiTbone]

Hi,

I'm a teacher in an international kindergarten and to have my Thai teacher license I had to attend a few seminars touching this topic as well.In the next couple of days I will give you the exact way and person to talk to and start the procedure what you plan to do. It is not hopeless, there is a section in the Thai Educational Ministry who take care of such problems and they take their job seriously. Will back to you in a couple of days, I need to find my notes of these seminars. Hope it will help. Shame on them.

I would appreciate that very much. Please send to me in mail box also

[affen02]

I have experienced much the same as you and your kid. From beeing a happy kid the first three years at our school in kindergarden 1, 2 and 3, with philliphino teachers, he startet 1 klass same school. English program. I realized soon something was wrong as the boy started to cry before going to school, i tried to get hold of the class room teacher, but she sure did her best to avoid me. The boy told me much like a regime u described. It took me awhile to get to talk to the matron or director or whatever she is called, and i made it clear that nobody was to hit my child. Typical thai, the head of the English program avoided me because she could not speak so well English. One must laugh. Anyway, we changed class, got a younger lovely teacher and my boy is happy again, no slapping with hands or sticks. I am so sorry to hear that your boy is traumatized by this experience. I also thought about writing to the education department, and i probably will, but who is at hand there to take on problems like this. Slapping and beating kids with sticks is a part of Thai culture, will take a generation to change this, if ever. Good luck to you and your boy.

[DiamondKing]

I went to a parents meeting and my wife said the teacher just asked if it was ok for them to hit the kids if they misbehave out of the WHOLE ROOM I was the only one that objected and made clear that I dont hit my kids and neither will anyone else including any teacher at the school.

They complied with my wishes while EVERY OTHER PARENT gave verbal permission to the teacher she could beat their kids

SHOCKING

and this was not a goverment school

[alphaboy123]

If a child needs to be smacked to get her bad behaviour corrected, then

she must be smacked.

But for this to work (i.e., to guide her towards a morally acceptable pattern

of behaviour), it must be done in a completely controlled fashion & under

a carefully thought-out set of rules.

For starters, physical punishment is a last resort, to be used only after

other methods have failed.

Second, the child must be in full knowledge of what the consequences

will be (i.e., physical punishment) should her misdeed be repeated. And

she must herself agree to such a deal.

The guardian/educator will administer said punishment just as agreed, for

he is no liar ... & among other things, hopefully, she'll be able to pick up

honesty from him & trust in him as well.

The punishment can only target non vital areas of the body such as thighs,

calves or buttocks, never ever chest, tummy, abdomen, neck or face. Under

no circumstances can a fist be used; only an open palm or a stick are

acceptable.

The child, having been warned at least twice in the past, must be reminded

of the agreement previously made, must be brought to clearly understand

her wrong-doing & accept the consequences.

Then, the punishment is to be applied nonchalantly, with no drama at all;

whatever needs to be said is said in a calm, low voice. No black looks, no

sarcasm, no reproaches, no angry overtones. But it must hurt if you are

to eradicate the unwanted behaviour, or else the child will merely laugh at

you.

Once the punishment has been meted out, not a speck of resentment

will be allowed in the heart of the parent/teacher. On the contrary, he will

remain lovingly close to the child, watching over her, and will see to it that

she understands that she is loved, that a behavioural improvement is for

her own good, that one hopes never to have to resort to such punishment

ever again, & that one is hurt just as much as the child is by such methods.