Has anyone adopted Partners Thai Children?

[stament]

I started this under the ask a lawyer question but to be honest it's no clearer to me how this process works and how difficult/long it takes.

I'd appreciate it if someone who has been through the experience of adopting their partners' son/daughter could explain the process, etc.

Many thanks

[ableguy]

looks like you are on your own, do not do it, you can care for them and love them without giving yourself future nightmares.

[avander]

For some strange reason when my wife divorced her ex she got custody of their son and the ex, their daughter however, both children lived with my wife... In any case when we looked into my adopting them here in LOS, it was only practical to consider my adopting her (now 'our') son as neither of us think the father would give up legal 'custody' of his daughter.

Following that and subsequently finding out that my wife would lose all parental rights to her son should we go through my adoption of him we decided we would not go ahead as it seems ridiculous that I would end up the only legal parent. Crazy stuff and this came from the Thai Social Welfare Department when we fronted for a discussion on the whole thing. Apparently the law here.

[danfields]

My wife and I went through the adoption process, which took us nearly two years. The primary reason it took so long was that we wasted 20K on an incompetent lawyer. His sole job was to guide us through the process, and he was clueless. For example, one of the requirements was that I get a complete physical. When I submitted this, I was asked "where is the psychiatric evaluation?". The lawyer had no clue it was a requirement.

The law is written as if a foreign couple is adopting a Thai orphan. Silly, but that's the way it is. So essentially my wife also had to adopt her own children and go through nearly the same process. I say nearly because she wasn't required to get certified sane! btw, they did not find it amusing when I suggested I couldn't be sane if I was adopting these kids!

Another indicator that the law is written as if it's a foreign adoption is that we were required to submit photographs of our house in the U.S. Explaining that we had no intention of moving to the U.S. was a waste of breath. Still not sure what would have happened if I hadn't owned a house in the U.S.! In this instance, the list of documents we had said only to provide pictures of the house where the children would live. We provided the photos. Surprise, they said they needed pictures with the children in the house. So we went back home and took pictures of the kids in every room of the house. When we provided those, that's when we were told to supply pictures of the house in the U.S. My wife had been there on vacation, so we were able to provide pictures with her in front the house, so they gave us a break on supplying pictures of the kids in that house (even though we had no intention of moving there).

I'm presently in the U.S. and all of the documentation is in our house outside of Bangkok. I'll be there in June and will be happy to provide you with any assistance I can. Just be prepared for endless bureaucracy and red tape.

We did get a pleasant surprise at the end, which was a hearing before a committee of blue-haired ladies. Once they knew I spoke fluent Thai, the rest of the session was spent with them berating the boys for not speaking better English.

[KevinB]

One of my friends is trying to adopt his wife's elder son aged 8 (they have another child together aged 3) and want to move to the Europe for 5 years for work purposes - it is a major hassle and looks like it may become real difficult if not impossible because the father of the child and his family have become involved. Good Luck. Biggest Problem here in Thailand is getting a Straight answer and decent advice on how to proceed with anything out of the ordinary.

Edited April 25, 2014 by KevinB

[stament]

One of my friends is trying to adopt his wife's elder son aged 8 (they have another child together aged 3) and want to move to the Europe for 5 years for work purposes - it is a major hassle and looks like it may become real difficult if not impossible because the father of the child and his family have become involved. Good Luck. Biggest Problem here in Thailand is getting a Straight answer and decent advice on how to proceed with anything out of the ordinary.

We don't have any of those problems at all as the real father is perfectly fine and will sign anything we want. However, based on what Danfields said it seems like an awful lot of red tape and time, and I'm beginning to think that the cons outweigh the benefits.

[MrDetUdom]

I know this is an old thread, but was wondering if you went through with the process? Was it ultimately worth the effort?

[ChangMaiSausage]

I just completed the adoption process last year, below is some background (my circumstances are probably a lot different to most)

 

• I'm a UK citizen
• Wife's daughter was seven years old when we started the process.
• I lived and worked in Qatar (Doha) / Taiwan at the time.

When I married my wife I decided that I wanted my wife's six year old daughter to live with us, we had spent some time together as a family over a couple of the years and I felt that it was the right thing to do.  We completed all of the required paperwork required by the Thai Child Adoption Centre in Bangkok, her biological Father had agreed and understood that she would have a better life if she was adopted by myself so he willing agreed to sign over responsibility to her mother prior to starting the adoption process  (Note: he had to provide an official letter to allow her to travel outside of Thailand). 

 

We made an appointment to see a case worker at the Child Adoption Center in Bangkok.  They explained what documentation was required to start the adoption process, this was relatively straight forward.  THEN we hit a problem one of the requirements was a Home Study Report, basically they required someone to come and see/interview us at our home in Qatar.  Unfortunately Qatar does not recognize inter-country adoptions, I had letters written by solicitors, Thai embassy and UK embassy stating this fact to the Thai Adoption Board however they refused to accept this (we even had the Qatar Thai Embassy visit and provide a report)

 

We then moved to Taiwan with my Company I thought this would be an ideal opportunity for us to complete the home visit, guess what Taiwan fell into another governmental bucket.  Taiwan is not recognized as its a Republic of China??  We then returned back to Qatar to face the same problem! 

 

Cut a long story short her adoption was completed in 2016, its taken ten (10) years to complete the only reason that it was finalized was because the majority of the adoption board members knew us by first name/face as most of them had played a part in her adoption (prior to their promotion to a more senior position) eventually we received an email saying that we had to be in Bangkok on a specific date/time so that the adoption could be completed.

 

End of the story is that it was worth it but she will never have a UK passport as she has not resided in the UK for any significant duration.

 

Ps. and I have sole responsibility for her (even over her mother)

 

 

[nss70]

Did this 20 odd years ago for my daughter. We completed the Thai adoption in approx. a year followed by the UK one (Thai one was not accepted by consulate or UK system) which also took about year.

 

Under the UK system, back then, we BOTH had to adopt her.

 

It was all pretty straight forward, just follow the rules.

[Toscano]

I do not recommend adopting one's wife's children , unless you are planning to take them to live in your country .  Bringing up Thai children is difficult enough without being totally responsible for them . 

[isitworthit]

Just sounds like a headache 

Great if want to adopt them to make your family complete.

Just remember you will have financial obligations for the rest of your life.

Also concider if you and your wife divorce you have a legal obligation to the children 

[Tchooptip]

My wife's daughter her husband and their two little sons 3 and 5 years old had all adopted me, without asking for my consent by the way

[Andycoops]

I haven't but 2 friends of mine tried. 1 Aussie and 1 Brit.

Both gave up over the amount of bureaucracy involved and the time taken. 

We are talking  years at least back then.

[Rob W]

Got my wife's 2 kids over here in the UK with us and I looked in to it 12 years ago and decided it wasn't worth the effort in our particular case. 

I just used a deed pole to change their names.
I've been "Dad" since pretty much the 1st day I met them anyway, wife says they're more mine than her's now lol

 

[catman20]

5 hours ago, Toscano said:

I do not recommend adopting one's wife's children , unless you are planning to take them to live in your country .  Bringing up Thai children is difficult enough without being totally responsible for them . 

Why do some sad farangs feel the need to do this ?

[MrDetUdom]

Thanks for details ChangMai Sausage. Our situation will be different as I am currently living in Thailand, so I guess we won't have to worry about home study in a foreign country.

 

nss70, if the Thai adoption is not recognized in my home country (Australia), then it would be semi-pointless. Step-child adoption in Australia needs the kid to be at least 5 years old, but he is only 2.5 at the moment. Plus, he is not an Australian citizen. (Although citizenship by adoption is possible, which requires the adoption first. So it's a chicken and egg problem).

 

For the haters, one of the major reasons for adoption is so we can all have the same last name. Currently, mum and first child have mum's last name, while me and second child have my last name. Any kind of air travel without both parents then requires us to carry around birth certificates and translations, and I cannot travel alone with just the first child because I am not legally connected to him despite the fact that I've been his father since he was 6 months old.

[geordiel]

On 11/11/2017 at 1:44 PM, MrDetUdom said:

Thanks for details ChangMai Sausage. Our situation will be different as I am currently living in Thailand, so I guess we won't have to worry about home study in a foreign country.

 

nss70, if the Thai adoption is not recognized in my home country (Australia), then it would be semi-pointless. Step-child adoption in Australia needs the kid to be at least 5 years old, but he is only 2.5 at the moment. Plus, he is not an Australian citizen. (Although citizenship by adoption is possible, which requires the adoption first. So it's a chicken and egg problem).

 

For the haters, one of the major reasons for adoption is so we can all have the same last name. Currently, mum and first child have mum's last name, while me and second child have my last name. Any kind of air travel without both parents then requires us to carry around birth certificates and translations, and I cannot travel alone with just the first child because I am not legally connected to him despite the fact that I've been his father since he was 6 months old.

One interesting point you raised  "cannot travel alone with just the first child because I am not legally connected to him despite the fact that I've been his father since he was 6 months old."   I regularly traveled in Thailand alone with my two young step kids. It never occurred to me before but now we are  all living in Australia  I would  probably have trouble booking  into hotels etc. I was thinking of taking them for a short holiday in Bali as the mother doesn't want to go...... I guess that is out. Makes sense I suppose..

[Preacher]

You can travel with the child. But you need permission from the mother, that is all.

 

Permission is always advisable, as nowadays immigration and airline can ask for it for fear of human trafficking.

[ChangMaiSausage]

Yes we (my wife) had to carry a letter signed by her ex husband saying that her daughter could leave Thailand with her.

 

I also had to have a letter saying that she could travel with me without either of her parents (I was asked once for a letter at the airport)   

[Been there done that]

On 10/31/2017 at 11:12 AM, catman20 said:

Why do some sad farangs feel the need to do this ?

Luv.

[catman20]

On 12/9/2017 at 9:52 AM, Been there done that said:

Luv.

 sad

Edited December 10, 2017 by catman20