Dating tips thread

[fitfalang]

Hi,

I'm moving to Thailand soon for a graduate job, to Chiang Mai to be precise and I am asking you for any friendly tips for dating Thai girls.

I've been reading this forum for a few years and here are some general tips I've already picked up:

-Be clean and dress decently (how can I dress decently when I'm already sweating like a pig on a grill, when I'm only wearing shorts and a t-shirt?? )

-Learn Thai as this will significantly increase the amount of people you can interact with

-Don't try to meet a girl in a bar

-Don't expect a good Thai girl to sleep with you after only a couple of dates

Please add some good tips to the list if you have some, but please leave comments like "have a big wallet" out as this thread is about dating GOOD Thai girls and not those farang hunters who are only after your money.

Also some Chiang Mai specific tips and comments would be greatly appreciated.

I am 23 myself and looking to date girls in the 18-24 brackets. My advantages are that I'm ok looking, fit and healthy, hygienic and a sociable person. My disadvantages are that I will have a pretty low salary, I don't speak any Thai (will try to fix this asap) and most of all I lack experience in interacting with good Thais!

Do Thais girls generally like fitness? Do you see many young girls in commercial gyms in Thailand? This could be a good idea for a place to meet girls, as it's one of my main personal interests. Would be something in common to talk about

Do Thais use Tinder? (I'm sure some of you are thinking is dafuq is Tinder o_O?, but for those who don't know, it's a phone dating app that basicly tracks your location and matches you with people nearby. It uses your facebook profile to check for common likes, friends and interests. You simply swipe through people and either swipe right to "like" and left to "not like". If two people click like for each other a match is created and they can chat to each other. This app is used my many young people in Europe and it's actually quite fun to meet people!)

But yeah please all you experienced guys share some good tips and hopefully this thread can be an interesting read for other people too.

Cheers!

[NeverSure]

First, you sound a bit insecure so just be yourself. After all, you want a gal you likes the real you, don't you?

About 1/2 of your post is regarding meeting women. An expat who's lived in Thailand many years and who does speak Thai gave me this answer about finding a Thai woman:

"You don't find them. They find you."

[rhythmworx]

If you date 1 stick with her unless you want to carry your penis to the reattachment clinic after girl number 2 pops up on the scene.

Edited April 29, 2014 by rhythmworx

[benalibina]

What is your intention by dating girls.....love, friendship or sex ?

[fitfalang]

First, you sound a bit insecure so just be yourself. After all, you want a gal you likes the real you, don't you?

About 1/2 of your post is regarding meeting women. An expat who's lived in Thailand many years and who does speak Thai gave me this answer about finding a Thai woman:

"You don't find them. They find you."

Hmm wonder what in the post made me sound insecure? I'm really not, and have no trouble finding girls in my home country just by being myself. Reason I'm asking is that as it's a different culture perhaps different things are valued by girls there in Thailand than here in Farangland. Just want to arrive there prepared

That's true, should have named it "Where to meet Thai girls and tips for dating thread" instead, perhaps a mod can change it.

Thanks for the tip though.

What is your intention by dating girls.....love, friendship or sex ?

Any of the three, depending on circumstances. Finding a girlfriend would be great.

Edited April 29, 2014 by fitfalang

[benalibina]

Ok. As you are young and will go to work in Chiang Mai, just be yourself. There must be many girls in the agebracket that would like to have a normal, not moneyspecific related, relationship with a foreigner. If i were you, i would focus on universitystudents who can communicate on a good english level. Just be aware of yourself there and strive for a similar relationship as you would do back home.

[DP25]

I am 23 myself and looking to date girls in the 18-24 brackets. My advantages are that I'm ok looking, fit and healthy, hygienic and a sociable person. My disadvantages are that I will have a pretty low salary, I don't speak any Thai (will try to fix this asap) and most of all I lack experience in interacting with good Thais!

I was 23 the first time I lived in Thailand (almost 10 years ago). Trust me, your disadvantages aren't a big deal at all. Young farang, good looking, polite, and in shape, you'll have plenty of interest. You're lack of money is irrelevant, I met plenty of girls that would share the cost of the dates or just pay for everything themselves. You should be able to meet plenty of girls with decent jobs who have a bit of their own money and aren't just looking to sponge off you. Maybe even some rich ones.

-Don't try to meet a girl in a bar

Nothing wrong with meeting a girl in a bar, there are different kinds of bars. Thai university students and office workers go to bars to have fun too, just like home. A bar full of university students on a Friday night and you the only farang there can be a good place to meet girls. A bar in the farang red light district, where all the girls are employees looking for customers, is entirely different, and I don't think you should bother with those places at all.

[CraigSchuler]

Be an as*hole......Chicks love it!

[Andyfez]

wearing shorts on a date?????

[ezzra]

I'll start with a joke to illustrate my point, the new Spitfires fighters were delivered to RAF

boys in WWII, standing in front of the new shining machines they were told: these are new planes

and that's how you start the plane, the rest you will learn on your

mission over enemy lines.... best advise any one can give you on how to date a Thai girl....

[Phoenix1312]

Have lots of money and an ATM card. That's all you need.

[duanebigsby]

OP, the sweating like a pig goes away after you've been here awhile.

No, Thais don't generally use Tinder, and they use their phones, apps,

and Facebook, etc in their own language not English. Not only do you need to learn to speak Thai but if you want to communicate on the computer you need to learn how to read the Thai noodle writing.

[Thai Travel Bug]

Go to a bar, pretend your in an office, pay the office manager a bribe to date her young associate, then take her home, have a great time with the girl from the office, then when

you have run out of things to talk about, take her back to the office (Bar) and then next time you feel like trying it find another bar (Office) and try your luck there. Once you have

had enough practice, and you learn some Thai, maybe you will find a girl in YOUR office, and you can ask her on a date to a bar. Just make sure it is none of the offices (Bars)

you have visited earlier. Same Same But Different.

[LawrenceN]

Re: Learning to speak Thai: Enroll in a course, and learn to read while you learn to speak. Reading gives you the advantage of picking up new vocabulary as you go about town reading signs, etc., as well as a huge advantage with pronunciation. If you run into a teacher who thinks you can't learn to read Thai, walk away. Reading is easy, compared with re-training your brain to speak tonally.

[smileydude]

Thai girls are like all girls in the world with an exception being they may have pre-conceived ideas of how a farang (foreigner) is like.

1.Some may assume all farang men are rich and thus you may automatically seem more attractive here.

Don't let it get to your head. Use your judgement on why they may be interested in you.

2. Some may assume you are a sex-pat and feel uncomfortable because thai women holding hands with a farang are often automatically assumed to be involved in the trade. Treat her respectfully and if she is confident you are SINCERE AND SERIOUS and do not have that attitude that all women can be bought then you can open yourself to a whole new crowd of girls.

3. Some may assume you don't have manners (thai manners) and thus will not consider you as being presentable to family (more applicable to educated upper class girls who need family approval).

Show her you understand thai customs and cultures and that not all farangs are neanderthals.

In the end, like many have advised, you have to be yourself, but we all could be a better version of ourselves if we understood the mind of Venus, but then again we're from Mars so good luck and watch out for the "Adonis syndrome."

Edited May 1, 2014 by smileydude

[recom273]

Presuming you are looking for a nice, sweet, (relatively stress free) young lady.

Decide what you want first, look before you leap, the Thai people in your apartment / 'hood will love to talk (read gossip) about your activities.

Get out and about, network. Badminton is a great way to meet nice people, there will always be an office group who play one of twice a week, after a session you will be invited for food, people will ask to add you on social media, your profile will spread, maybe those guys hang out at the weekend or want to take you somewhere.

Internet dating can be quite acceptable .. facebook is often a preferred way for some Thai girls to communicate, so develop a nice FB/instagram page that shows you off to be a nice guy.

Yeah, learn some Thai, but sometimes its just endearing being culturally unaware, but dont be an uncouth idiot. The language will come after a while.

Appearance is everything here, decide who you are, if you turn up stinking of smoke on your first date, order 2 large beers before before food, maybe the girl isnt going to return your next phone call.

Behave like a gentleman, open doors for young ladies, they never presume anything, and ask her first .. some will disagree, but a lot of girls dream of the guy they see on a Thai soap opera, well heeled, handsome, polite. Maybe worth a shot.

Edited May 1, 2014 by recom273

[stickylies]

-Don't expect a good Thai girl to sleep with you after only a couple of dates

Not too sure about that... Some good girls like a GOOD piece of wood too u know

[benalibina]

Thai girls are like all girls in the world with an exception being they may have pre-conceived ideas of how a farang (foreigner) is like.

1.Some may assume all farang men are rich and thus you may automatically seem more attractive here.

Don't let it get to your head. Use your judgement on why they may be interested in you.

2. Some may assume you are a sex-pat and feel uncomfortable because thai women holding hands with a farang are often automatically assumed to be involved in the trade. Treat her respectfully and if she is confident you are SINCERE AND SERIOUS and do not have that attitude that all women can be bought then you can open yourself to a whole new crowd of girls.

3. Some may assume you don't have manners (thai manners) and thus will not consider you as being presentable to family (more applicable to educated upper class girls who need family approval).

Show her you understand thai customs and cultures and that not all farangs are neanderthals.

In the end, like many have advised, you have to be yourself, but we all could be a better version of ourselves if we understood the mind of Venus, but then again we're from Mars so good luck and watch out for the "Adonis syndrome."

Not understanding another countrys customs and culture=being a neanderthal........wooowww, always thought they looked weird....thanks for explaining.

[potters]

BEST TIP

Short arms

Long pockets

[charlieboz]

Try the app Skout, my mates (who are single and in the mid 20's to early 30's age bracket) have met and dated a lot of thai girls on that

[empireboy]

Take your time

[poweratradio]

Meet her online first on dateinasia.com chat for a year offer her money when the topic come up of her need and when she refuses your offer of money you will know you found a keeper. I did.

[Old Stud]

I've been living in Chiang Mai for three years and still haven't figured out how to meet a good girl. But my handsome son in Seattle can't figure out how to meet a good girl there either. You may be the exception, but most Thai gals in that age range (maybe all age ranges) want more than a casual relationship with a farang. They want marriage and security; your money. But on a positive note, go to Meetup. There are a lot of group meetings in Chiang Mai - good place to meet people. Maybe you'll find a good western gal there and spare yourself of the hard life lessons of wading through the layers and layers of cultural differences/requirements with a Thai woman. The reality here is much different than the fantasy. Good luck.

[Greg Nixon]

Purchase the lonely planet book titled Thai - fits in your shirt pocket. Has tips and language for every occasion.

Attend services at the Buddhist temple. Be nice to the grandmothers and mothers. They will find you good dates for you, if you tell them you are looking for good Thai girls to date. Meet the girl at the temple with her mother /grandmother and if you approve, you can ask her out. If not, nothing ventured , nothing gained.

You should make a list of attributes you are looking for in a Thai girlfriend and stick to it. There are so many choices here for a foreigner you will be easily distracted. That is why it is so important to have a list. Do you want to date a University grad who is about to become a doctor ? Hang out at the universities. Do you want to date an athlete. hang out at the girls volleyball tournaments, etc. Be specific as to your wants. If it is wealth you seek, you must be lost at the doorstep of a large house with a beautiful girl inside.

Leave the popular tourist destinations off your list of PLACES to look, if it is good girls you want. Filtering out the wheat from the chaff might be difficult.

I gave similar advice to my son at age 20. He is now married to a beautiful gastroenterologist with a 6 figure income and they have 3 wonderful sons.

The longest journey begins with a single step.

[eastcanje]

Sign up on Thai Friendly. You'd be surprised at the response you get. I chose to date (I say "chose" because so many girls and women of all ages and backgrounds contacted me, although I'm old and far from handsome) a wonderful woman, who is hard working, isn't interested in my money, often insists on sharing costs when we go out, and seems very caring.

[Pkl]

I have been active on the Thai dating scene, mainly in Chiang Mai, and I found this article to be very valuable: https://www.thaiyak.com/13-point-checklist

[Old Stud]

I have been active on the Thai dating scene, mainly in Chiang Mai, and I found this article to be very valuable: https://www.thaiyak.com/13-point-checklist

Thank you Pki - this list should be handed out to every 'single' man who enters Thailand. When I came to Thailand I learned the three most important rules: 1. Never fall in love with a bar girl. 2. Never fall in love with a bar girl. 3. Never fall in love with a bar girl. Every day hundreds of western men are breaking one of those three rules. With sad consequences. Thank you for these 13 more reasons to be careful.

[kinmaew]

Don't forget to bring your wallet as you will be paying for everything. Bar or normal girls it seems to be the same with a few very rare exceptions. I went to see a girl once and she said she only wanted to be friends, she brought a friend along and when we split the bill, a few days later she asks why I did not pay for all. Be prepared for money, money and more focus on money. For Buddhists its amazing how materialistic they all seem to be and don't forget to wear a rubber for safety and also there are enough single mothers in this world.

[Old Stud]

I met this western man here in Chiang Mai. He spoke fluent Thai and wanted to marry a good girl. He met a Thai woman doctor. He dated her steadily for six weeks before she let him hold her hand. Sex was way down the list with her. It was a long slow process over a few years, including full acceptance from her family, before she agreed to marry him. Courting a woman is always the best way to go, no matter what country you're in. Find someone you like, who shares your interests, who you can have a good conversation with, who has like values, and then take it slow. Why western men think they can find happiness with a woman they can't even have a conversation with is beyond me. OP - just be clear what you do and don't want and learn to say no thank you.

[Choonpon]

Men tend to be attracted to bad women and vice versa.