Living in a Thai Village (revisited)

[cnx37]

I have been running another topic - Living in Fang region.

There have been many opinions. I have read the Thai Village (archived) topic - 99+% love it! Any bias here?

Briefly, I have been living in CNX for about 12 years. My "wife" & I have been living in a condo for about 10 years.

I HAD a very full life - golf 3 days/week & AA 3 days/week; eating, shopping etc.

My wife's parents live in Fang. My wife is an only child. They are a very close family - visit every fortnight - very welcome. The parents are not bludgers - the father works 7 days/week.

I have stage 4 throat cancer - very nasty business - am in remission - after-effects of radiotherapy - terrible. Diet - vegetable soup for the past 5 years.

We have decided to move to Fang - my age, pollution, traffic etc of CNX. There is a lot/block with a garage already constructed upon it. Parents live in a house about 500m from the garage.

It was mutually agreed that we would construct a big house on the "garage" property. Close to work; security of stock; together (Thai style) - communal living.

PROBLEMS/QUESTIONS:

a)The local moobahn - average home - say B1.5-2m. Ours - B4-5m - 250-350sqm (2 storey) - 4 people - we have discussed this matter - local jealousy, difficult to sell, waste of $$$ etc. Jealousy - not our problem. Difficult to sell - I will be dead within 10 years? Wife wishes to spend her life there.

2nd storey - 3 beds - 1 for me; Buddha room.

1st storey - bedroom for me (planning for the future), kitchen (there will be an interior & external kitchen), lounge room, entertainment room (TV etc), dining room (inside & out).

I hear that houses in Fang vary from B400k to B10m.

option 2 - buy another plot - build another home - smaller - 2 of us.

c) ???

Life experiences - recommendations - all welcome!

[pigeonjake]

it would be nice to have your wife family around with you and your wife in these troubled times,

good luck with your fight,,

jake

Edited June 1, 2014 by Rooo
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[citizen33]

I would not worry too much about local jealousy about houses. In the Isaan village where I've lived a few months a year for 12 years (plus one extended stay of 18 months) there are probably about twenty Western-style houses. A few are owned by westerners, but most belong to civil servants or local government employees who have had access to cheap loans. The village has consistently voted for TRT/PPP/PTP. Research suggests that the strongest support for that party actually comes from upwardly-mobile working-class people - the kind who aspire to have such houses.

[Schmackos]

are you saying that you want to live with your wifes parents, in the same house?

you want to build a big house, twice as big as any other house?

I wish you luck my friend.

[cnx37]

Schmackos

Thank you for your "blessing". Your experience & wisdom is much appreciated! Say hi to the b/f.

[Robby nz]

There is a topic going in health that if you have not seen it may be some help to you : http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/720183-throat-cancer-stage-iv/

Not with the house but with the cancer.

[marko kok prong]

Mate wish you all the best,i live in a village too,but i chose to extend my wife,s house and improve it rather than building a new one,not perfect,but ok,i am sorry to hear of your illness,and sincerely wish you all the best.

[cnx37]

Thanks Robby

In fact, it was only recently that I researched this topic on TV. The BIG problem is the PAIN now - not the actual cancer. I was on morphine for quite some time! If you wish to "screw" up your life, I suggest cancer - far more interesting than a local lass. Far more demanding. Never leaves in a huff. Costs plenty - for me - so far - B2-3m.

I am extremely thankful that I was/am in a quality relationship - so caring, so supportive. Golf - gone . Reasonable eating/diet - gone! "The great remover".

Thanks for your thoughts.

[cnx37]

Thanks Marko

Many ways to get from(a) to (.

Nothing is perfect (to my knowledge). A dream - release me from cancer; ability to eat a real meal again. After 5 yrs on vegetable soup, eating can get rather boring. During the critical time, I had a feeding tube (nasal feeding), some gadget stuck down my throat, lessons on how to eat again.

Morphine is not a good substitute for som tam - too spicy & no solids. In a place like Thailand where eating is such a varied & enjoyable part of life - there is a big component missing. Forget all the BS about "better than death" - I have had my moments.

Enough of reality, I am living the dream. Transitioning out of CNX - I will not miss it. It has been good - wonderful. CNX has had its day (for me). In a year, I may be back - tail between my legs.

If so, I can always start another thread!

Edited May 31, 2014 by cnx37

[Robby nz]

Thanks Robby

In fact, it was only recently that I researched this topic on TV. The BIG problem is the PAIN now - not the actual cancer. I was on morphine for quite some time! If you wish to "screw" up your life, I suggest cancer - far more interesting than a local lass. Far more demanding. Never leaves in a huff. Costs plenty - for me - so far - B2-3m.

I am extremely thankful that I was/am in a quality relationship - so caring, so supportive. Golf - gone . Reasonable eating/diet - gone! "The great remover".

Thanks for your thoughts.

Been there done that but at the other end, rectal, had a bit chopped out and been OK for 6 years now.

Might consider what they say on the health topic about being close to where you can get pain relief and hospice care when it gets real bad.

Stick with it mate, all the best.

[cnx37]

Thanks Robby nz

Rectal, throat, breast cancers - they are all disasters. My biggest "bitches" - cannot eat - vegetable soup & chocolate milk for 5 years now. Had nasal feeding & a device stuck down my throat, remedial eating lessons. Ceased golf - let my driving licence lapse. By default, I am almost bed-ridden. I am very "lucky" to have such loving & supportive Thai wife, FIL & MIL.

I was on morphine treatment (various styles) for a number of years - started hallucinating. Went to Oz in a wheelchair & oxygen tank - I was travelling real well!

In the end, I ceased it all. Moving to Fang - not really a problem - brand new hospital - quality of medical services??? Staff at RAM hospital (CNX) - more morphine,sir? Morphine use - an added benefit - chronic constipation. It is such fun (for nurses & me) have fingers & other gadgets stuck up your anus- enough, enough "pleasure".

Surgery - unsuitable. Chemo - unsuitable. Radiotherapy - 35-40 times. My mouth is "burnt" to a cinder. Loss of 70+% of teeth, dental decay (cannot extract), hyperbaric chamber - sensitive to spicy food.

If the cancer re-occurs, please telephone Dr Nitscke (Oz) or Switzerland etc (I am now very pro- euthanasia).

Good luck with your journey. Good to hear of success stories - had an Oz acquaintance with rectal cancer - full recovery - living a "normal" life. Others- DEAD!

[MobileContent]

I would suggest to the OP go for it. You have caring in-laws and a great wife.

I had (ALL) Acute Lymphoid Leukemia at the age of 4 years and a relapse at the age of 41 years (7.5 years ago). Thankfully, I had the money to get me fixed up again at a good hospital in Bangkok and I survived it twice. Cancer is in my family as both my father and three sisters passed away. Two of my sisters lost the fight against breath cancer (41 years and 48 years) and my other sister on a brain tumor. My dad died on ALL and TBC in 1967. My Grandfather died on Oral cancer in his mouth and he never smoked in his life.

I moved three years ago to Isaan and build a small but comfortable bungalow next to my in-laws. Their is jealously but we don't really care what the people say in our village.

The best thing that could happen in my life is my wife and baby-boy but we do keep a close eye on the development of our boy, specially between the age of 3-4 1/2 years and we save good money for our boy either for medical or an international school.

I wish you all the best. Don't give up. God bless you.

[chiman]

One detail to keep in mind: Keep your stress levels low, so your body can fight off the cancer cells. Building a house, STRESSFUL and not good for your fragile health. I would do what you can to just be peaceful ... Good Luck with everything.

[callaway]

cnx37, I live in a village in Isaan and jealousy is a big issue. It odesnt affect me because I dont give a sh#t. Wife has heard some talk but she can stand her ground. Wasnt too bad with the house but installed a big swimming pool and the villagers would be looking throught the gate as they walked by. We do not invite others to swim there. The jealousy started then. Having said that I am sure this is not the same as many other villages. Have been to friends villages and those around them seem great people. Our village is special, as the type of people in the village, tend to have a dit of grass. If they dont they should as the word "kwai" comes into play when describing them. Best of luck buddy with your fight. Stay positve and beat the bastard.

[q1goldcoast]

Sorry to hear about your illness I would like to suggest you google cannabis oil cancer treatment it is legally available in Colorado and several other states. Good luck!

[bob strutt]

golf finished, what do we do now, i know how you feel, , it has been good , never look back , only at the good days there is only one way to go, go easy bro and the best of luck bobs

[maybefitz]

CNX, we have corresponded in the past. If anything like my experience, you'll do fine in Fang. I moved in with my wife's mother and 2 sons 12 years ago - we all got on famously. With the Thai idea of 'family'; I'm related to half the village, they accepted me unconditionally. No obvious jealousies around. MIL died a year ago, sadly missed. Now, the house is a half timbered split level bungalow, 3 bedrooms; just my wife and I here now. When I first moved up here to Phrao area, I built a guest-chalet in the garden, just for visitors. You might like to consider that as an option instead of a large house. Suggest you stick to a bungalow type.

Re medical, I use the local Phrao hospital, (similar to yours in Fang). I can only say, 1st class would be the envy of any hospital in the West. Now, I don't know if its an exception, but my wife (ex nurse, CM Ram) managed to work the system to get me fully registered at Phrao hospital. I have a quarterly check-up, (blood pressure, lipid profile) had a stay for a few days (bronchitis) and a minor surgical procedure on my foot - all at no cost.I suggest first thing in Fang, get your tambien bahn yellow book, and get wifey to see if Fang hospital will put you on the books. I know of another farang in MaeJo who is on a similar arrangement at SanSai hospital, so it can be done. I think that the larger hospitals (like CM Ram) jack up their income by pushing expensive drugs, especially to farangs. I have encountered nothing like it in the cottage hospital. Drop me a line if you want to discuss it more,

[ggt]

Thanks for sharing...it gives us pause...to reflect on the many blessings we have in our lives...not least of which...is our health and families...I wish you all the best...

[CMCMANGOMAN]

Colloidal Silver my friend. There's even a guy up in chiang mai that sells it. Works amazing. At this point, nothing to lose right? God bless friend.

http://www.ganesh-colloidal-silver.com

[cnx37]

CMCMANGOMAN

Just emailed the contact - thanks!

I am "desperate" - quality of life - what is that?

[banker44]

cnx37--I had cancer years back that had metastasized. Surgery and months of harsh chemo followed. While I agree with the stress level issue, I actually think designing and building a house would be exactly what you need. It will give you something to focus on, something to do and most importantly, something to look forward to. And stress for sure. But maybe in a good way. The other thing that would have helped me, weirdly, is a puppy. I no fan of soi dogs in this country and believe that a soi dog and pigeon eradication program would go a long way to improving life overall, but I digress.

[cnx37]

banker44 - really I cannot help myself re the house construction. It is just a matter of how much involvement! I anticipate that I will enjoy the journey - enjoy the pain of problem resolution etc. A dog - team effort - it has been a very long time since I have owned a dog - say 60 years.

Suggestion #1 - will take on board

Suggestion #2 - pass - I will buy a bicycle & learn to ride a m/c! Compromise?

[sirchai]

Wish you the best from lower northeast, and I know where you're going through now. Try to think positive and avoid people you can't stand.

My wife''s always with me, in good and in bad times.Being alone in such a hard time, would completely change all. I hope you'll find the right hospital, with doctors who're capable to deal with cancer.

Don't worry about taking morphine, as it doesn't damage your health at all. Why don't you just buy an already existing house, before you get any problems from workers, architects and so on?

You'll have to do all to think positive, even when that might sound difficult for you. See it from another perspective. There're people who can't even eat vegetable soup, nor can they drink chocolate milk.

Can't help you much, but wish you only the best from lower Isaan. Get well soon. -

Meditation seems to be a good way to help your immune system to recover and fight all the medical bs.

[cnx37]

sirchai

a) avoiding people I cannot stand. I have been "culling" for some time. Recently, another "got the chop". Farang family - severely "cut" - 100%!

my wife - same, same. A real blessing! Young in years - maturity - well beyond her years. I very much appreciate her support.

c) doctors/hospitals - I should watch what I say. I have been to RAM in CNX - purportedly the best - definitely the most expensive for medication. At RAM, I had an oncologist & a pain management doctor - morphine & morphine. After a while, I was hallucinating & had severe constipation. Suandok - oncologist.

d) morphine did a job on me. I ended up returning to my home country - wheelchair, oxygen & escort. Home country doctors - useless - primitive withdrawal from morphine - no substitute.

e) existing house v new house. There are not a lot of existing houses for sale. This will be accommodating the "whole family" - Wife, self, FIL & MIL. It will be 2 storey - reasonable size to "breathe". FIL & wife will have prime responsibility. I will take a back-seat but put in my 2 bobs worth when it suits.

f) think positively - I am a member of AA (& try to follow the principles in all my affairs).I even try a little prayer - I will try anything!

g) meditation - tried a little - I would NOT say that I gave it a good try - a feeble attempt!

[Johpa]

The Fang area is a great region of the north. You have great day trips to the mountains to the north and to the west. There are now paved roads where I first trekked in that region decades ago. (Yes, one use to trek to places like Wawi). Check out the thread over at GT-Rider for tips on places to eat in Fang, perhaps you can find a few that make a good veggie soup. It is a short distance to Thaton where there are always western tourists passing through so if you get village fever just head up towards the Kok River for an evening meal or just a fruit shake. You can also take the boat ride down the Kok to Chiang Rai for a night and then back again for a weekend break.

The folks in the region are pretty tolerant as it is a real mix of Northern Thai, upland minorities, and mellowed out KMT Chinese who aren't as abrasive as the Teo Chiu speaking Bangkok Chinese. If you are not living in the city then your wife's village will be one of the above. And it has been a long time, a very long time since I lived in that region, but you might still be able to find a pain killer chemically very similar to what your doctors are prescribing for you at one of the KMT villages to the west of Fang.

[arjunadawn]

I regret I've nothing for you- no wisdom, no pearls, no experience to guide you. But I deeply wish for you my heartfelt peace and comfort. It's so courageous for ppl like me to see and hear in you your awareness of the love around you, how precious it is, and your respect for her family. Yes, you love her and it is back into their care you surrender her in the future. I think your wise and sound like a lovely person. May you be blessed and protected, brother.

[rhodie]

I would try to get 2 smaller houses close to each other. That way you have the best of both worlds.

Good luck with the C. I hope you find something to help you have a better quality of life.

[F4UCorsair]

cnx37, I can offer you no advice on housing arrangements, but it was good to see your mention of Philip Nitzchke, a true humanitarian.

Check his website via google if you haven't already, good info, and from what I read, you're getting close.

Good luck for your remaining time on the planet, and best wishes for when you embark on your final journey.

Edited June 1, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[cnx37]

Arjunadawn

Really it is TOO simple. Choices are extremely limited!

Edited June 1, 2014 by cnx37