Is this a real relationship or have I bought a girlfriend?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I have courted a number of Thai women in similar fashion ... not as much money spent but still quite similar - one thing I did notice was this story about just learning English - then they move ahead quite well with English advancing nearly every day. Some gals who know more English than you realize or are told -- do in fact know quite a bit of English - learned from another Farang or in bars... They simply do not want you to know or to think that they have had a Farang boyfriend before or in bars so they fake it for many weeks - learning English at a much faster rate than you can learn Thai... Actually there may be nothing worse than she did have a Farang boyfriend - so big deal. Or that she did work in a bar. I have met bar maids in small towns who did not turn tricks... So - you just might let her know that her past is the past --- and same with you ... you too are together now ... and now is what counts ... But getting the full story (both stories) out could make for a better future ...

.

Two things,

1. You think it's OK for a girl to lie in a relationship, I don't.

2. You know girls in bars that don't do tricks, I know girls in bars that say they don't do tricks. Bars don't employ girls out of charity.

PS

I met a girl that works in Pattaya, isn't a sex worker but slept with me the night I met her.

Come on, who yer kiddin?

Edited September 4, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Sigurris]

I have courted a number of Thai women in similar fashion ... not as much money spent but still quite similar - one thing I did notice was this story about just learning English - then they move ahead quite well with English advancing nearly every day. Some gals who know more English than you realize or are told -- do in fact know quite a bit of English - learned from another Farang or in bars... They simply do not want you to know or to think that they have had a Farang boyfriend before or in bars so they fake it for many weeks - learning English at a much faster rate than you can learn Thai... Actually there may be nothing worse than she did have a Farang boyfriend - so big deal. Or that she did work in a bar. I have met bar maids in small towns who did not turn tricks... So - you just might let her know that her past is the past --- and same with you ... you too are together now ... and now is what counts ... But getting the full story (both stories) out could make for a better future ...

.

Two things,

1. You think it's OK for a girl to lie in a relationship, I don't.

2. You know girls in bars that don't do tricks, I know girls in bars that say they don't do tricks. Bars don't employ girls out of charity.

PS

I met a girl that works in Pattaya, isn't a sex worker but slept with me the night I met her.

Come on, who yer kiddin?

You also slept with her the first night! So in your twisted logic that makes you a whore too. Welcome to their world

[AnotherOneAmerican]

You also slept with her the first night! So in your twisted logic that makes you a whore too. Welcome to their world

That would make me a John (John buys, Whore sells).

Where did you learn logic?

Edited September 4, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Sigurris]

You also slept with her the first night! So in your twisted logic that makes you a whore too. Welcome to their world

That would make me a John (John buys, Whore sells).

Where did you learn logic?

Only if she charged you. Since you said she stated she was not a sex worker I can only presume she didn't charge. Not logic just what you wrote.

But lets face it, who cares. You seem to have a clear view of what Thai girls are and I will never change that, nor would I want to.

[ttthailand]

OP, I think you are fine. Just be careful with the money flow and get her back to work as soon as possible.

I am in a similar situation. My gf works reception at a hotel 5 days a week and goes to school all day on Sunday for hotel management. She earns about 13k a month counting bonuses etc. She pays out about 4k a month just on transportation so her real net is about 9k a month. It may not be much but she is getting more experience in the field she is studying, has insurance, gets paid holidays, and it keeps her down to earth regarding the value of money. I help her out when she falls short but I refuse to make her dependent on me. I could easily support her and maybe in the future I will but for now I think it would send the wrong message. She is 30+ years younger then me (21years old) and very lovely. I know she is not staying for the money but is staying because she really cares and hopes to have a future with me. She's a keeper as I think your gf may be too.... Good luck !

[AnotherOneAmerican]

But lets face it, who cares. You seem to have a clear view of what Thai girls are and I will never change that, nor would I want to.

It ain't brain surgery!

[geronimo]

It's real!!!

[geronimo]

Wow. Thank you to everyone who have wished us luck. I was expecting a 50/50 split between the good and the bad.

I suppose I have made her dependent on me but if we are to stay together that is, inevitably going to be part of it as I earn in a month what she earns in a year. And my lifestyle is one that she will grow accustomed to. However her determination to master English and get her dream job (in a pharmacy) tell me that she will have a measure of independence.

She has never asked me for anything for herself or her parents (she doesn't have children) and will often go to the market on her way home to buy food, fruit etc from her money. Never asking for it to be repaid. She is clean and tidy and is always pushing me to teach her to cook farang food so that she can cook for me.

It just shows that they are out there guys. How do you know when you have found a gem? That I don't know but time is the thing. Or is she playing the long game some of you will be thinking. If she is I will find out sometime and let you know. Otherwise I am enjoying the ride. And after the psychotic, insecure, jealous nutcase I had before, this is heaven. No stupid jealousy, sulking or walking on eggshells.

A relationship is like a small plant. It needs to be nourished (and cherished), not left out in the sun with no water!! I am sure you will be OK if you remember that.

[geronimo]

Wow. Thank you to everyone who have wished us luck. I was expecting a 50/50 split between the good and the bad.

I suppose I have made her dependent on me but if we are to stay together that is, inevitably going to be part of it as I earn in a month what she earns in a year. And my lifestyle is one that she will grow accustomed to. However her determination to master English and get her dream job (in a pharmacy) tell me that she will have a measure of independence.

She has never asked me for anything for herself or her parents (she doesn't have children) and will often go to the market on her way home to buy food, fruit etc from her money. Never asking for it to be repaid. She is clean and tidy and is always pushing me to teach her to cook farang food so that she can cook for me.

It just shows that they are out there guys. How do you know when you have found a gem? That I don't know but time is the thing. Or is she playing the long game some of you will be thinking. If she is I will find out sometime and let you know. Otherwise I am enjoying the ride. And after the psychotic, insecure, jealous nutcase I had before, this is heaven. No stupid jealousy, sulking or walking on eggshells.

A relationship is like a small plant. It needs to be nourished (and cherished), not left out in the sun with no water!! I am sure you will be OK if you remember that.

Oh I almost forgot, when the plant is big it doesn't take so much looking after.

[hotsoup]

Hotels? I once, when young and easy under the apple boughs, stayed in a hotel in Hat Yai that employed more hookers than maids. I think you just do what makes you happy...and never stop 'wondering'!!

Edited September 4, 2014 by hotsoup

[blueyeshk]

I even make it shorter not even reading the post . You bought her!

[Halfie]

Not every Thai woman who can speak some degree of English is out to scam a foreign man. C'mon people!

[hellohello123]

OP, I think you are fine. Just be careful with the money flow and get her back to work as soon as possible.

I am in a similar situation. My gf works reception at a hotel 5 days a week and goes to school all day on Sunday for hotel management. She earns about 13k a month counting bonuses etc. She pays out about 4k a month just on transportation so her real net is about 9k a month. It may not be much but she is getting more experience in the field she is studying, has insurance, gets paid holidays, and it keeps her down to earth regarding the value of money. I help her out when she falls short but I refuse to make her dependent on me. I could easily support her and maybe in the future I will but for now I think it would send the wrong message. She is 30+ years younger then me (21years old) and very lovely. I know she is not staying for the money but is staying because she really cares and hopes to have a future with me. She's a keeper as I think your gf may be too.... Good luck !

Wow You must be really hansum if you are 50+ and she is 21

I cant even pick up a girl 8 years younger in my own country

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Not every Thai woman who can speak some degree of English is out to scam a foreign man. C'mon people!

Reality Check!

We are talking about a 30 year old Thai woman sleeping with a 55 year old white foreigner in Pattaya.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

OP, I think you are fine. Just be careful with the money flow and get her back to work as soon as possible.

I am in a similar situation. My gf works reception at a hotel 5 days a week and goes to school all day on Sunday for hotel management. She earns about 13k a month counting bonuses etc. She pays out about 4k a month just on transportation so her real net is about 9k a month. It may not be much but she is getting more experience in the field she is studying, has insurance, gets paid holidays, and it keeps her down to earth regarding the value of money. I help her out when she falls short but I refuse to make her dependent on me. I could easily support her and maybe in the future I will but for now I think it would send the wrong message. She is 30+ years younger then me (21years old) and very lovely. I know she is not staying for the money but is staying because she really cares and hopes to have a future with me. She's a keeper as I think your gf may be too.... Good luck !

This joke ...........

[kannot]

up 2 u as they say HOWEVER, Id make her do all the housework, cleaning cooking etc, personally I think you acted too soon, Id have waited a good 6-8 months and kept her away from your place.

[hellohello123]

I have courted a number of Thai women in similar fashion ... not as much money spent but still quite similar - one thing I did notice was this story about just learning English - then they move ahead quite well with English advancing nearly every day. Some gals who know more English than you realize or are told -- do in fact know quite a bit of English - learned from another Farang or in bars... They simply do not want you to know or to think that they have had a Farang boyfriend before or in bars so they fake it for many weeks - learning English at a much faster rate than you can learn Thai... Actually there may be nothing worse than she did have a Farang boyfriend - so big deal. Or that she did work in a bar. I have met bar maids in small towns who did not turn tricks... So - you just might let her know that her past is the past --- and same with you ... you too are together now ... and now is what counts ... But getting the full story (both stories) out could make for a better future ...

.

Two things,

1. You think it's OK for a girl to lie in a relationship, I don't.

2. You know girls in bars that don't do tricks, I know girls in bars that say they don't do tricks. Bars don't employ girls out of charity.

PS

I met a girl that works in Pattaya, isn't a sex worker but slept with me the night I met her.

Come on, who yer kiddin?

You also slept with her the first night! So in your twisted logic that makes you a whore too. Welcome to their world

Not referring to the OP but its interesting the absolute arrogance of a high proportion of expats/tourists/TV members from the western world

and how they think their culture is superior or are they are more intelligent/sophsiticated,

thats why there are so many threads such as "I want to take her back to my country for a better life" or "I want the kids to have a better education overseas" or "why dont they have a good steak like back home"

[benalibina]

I have courted a number of Thai women in similar fashion ... not as much money spent but still quite similar - one thing I did notice was this story about just learning English - then they move ahead quite well with English advancing nearly every day. Some gals who know more English than you realize or are told -- do in fact know quite a bit of English - learned from another Farang or in bars... They simply do not want you to know or to think that they have had a Farang boyfriend before or in bars so they fake it for many weeks - learning English at a much faster rate than you can learn Thai... Actually there may be nothing worse than she did have a Farang boyfriend - so big deal. Or that she did work in a bar. I have met bar maids in small towns who did not turn tricks... So - you just might let her know that her past is the past --- and same with you ... you too are together now ... and now is what counts ... But getting the full story (both stories) out could make for a better future ...

.

Two things,

1. You think it's OK for a girl to lie in a relationship, I don't.

2. You know girls in bars that don't do tricks, I know girls in bars that say they don't do tricks. Bars don't employ girls out of charity.

PS

I met a girl that works in Pattaya, isn't a sex worker but slept with me the night I met her.

Come on, who yer kiddin?

You also slept with her the first night! So in your twisted logic that makes you a whore too. Welcome to their world

Not referring to the OP but its interesting the absolute arrogance of a high proportion of expats/tourists/TV members from the western world

and how they think their culture is superior or are they are more intelligent/sophsiticated,

thats why there are so many threads such as "I want to take her back to my country for a better life" or "I want the kids to have a better education overseas" or "why dont they have a good steak like back home"

Differences not superiority.

[ttthailand]

Hellohello123 and AnotherOneAmerican ... There are some of us guys who are in that 5 or 10% that attracts women of all ages. Handsome perhaps but I would say more like confident, in shape, look smart and fun to be with ... Hopefully it lasts a bit longer as my life has been great so far....

The OP is perhaps also in the same boat and can attract great girls.

Don't be jealous just work on yourself and your game....

Just saying

[benalibina]

Hellohello123 and AnotherOneAmerican ... There are some of us guys who are in that 5 or 10% that attracts women of all ages. Handsome perhaps but I would say more like confident, in shape, look smart and fun to be with ... Hopefully it lasts a bit longer as my life has been great so far....

The OP is perhaps also in the same boat and can attract great girls.

Don't be jealous just work on yourself and your game....

Just saying

No offense to OP....only semantics.....he had a nutter before....as he wrote....now he comes on here with this topic......but ....you wrote....perhaps.....

I hope for him it all works out well and that he may become a happy man.

[hellohello123]

Hellohello123 and AnotherOneAmerican ... There are some of us guys who are in that 5 or 10% that attracts women of all ages. Handsome perhaps but I would say more like confident, in shape, look smart and fun to be with ... Hopefully it lasts a bit longer as my life has been great so far....

The OP is perhaps also in the same boat and can attract great girls.

Don't be jealous just work on yourself and your game....

Just saying

Confidence attracts a lot of women, good for you (seriously), not many women like a wimpy, self conscious man unless she is a dominant character

Feel free to disagree with me (no offence will be taken) but

for a 50-60 year old to get with a 21 yr old in thailand are one of:

- You must look like richard gere or George Clooney

- You must look seriously younger

- You have the charm and sales skills to sell Ice to Eskimos

- She is damaged goods and has to settle for you

- You and her both give gollum a run for his money in an ugly competition

- You are stinkinging rich (or stinking rich in their eyes)/have a visa to a country they want out

The majority of the people seem to be in the last half

Just my opinion

[ttthailand]

No offense to OP....only semantics.....he had a nutter before....as he wrote....now he comes on here with this topic......but ....you wrote....perhaps.....

I hope for him it all works out well and that he may become a happy man.

We can all go in the wrong direction once in awhile. The secret is knowing it before you go too far and making the correction before it's too late. Edited September 4, 2014 by ttthailand

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Hellohello123 and AnotherOneAmerican ... There are some of us guys who are in that 5 or 10% that attracts women of all ages. Handsome perhaps but I would say more like confident, in shape, look smart and fun to be with ... Hopefully it lasts a bit longer as my life has been great so far....

The OP is perhaps also in the same boat and can attract great girls.

Don't be jealous just work on yourself and your game....

Just saying

And I repeat,

[sipi]

You have found a gem. God bless and enjoy eternity in each others company. PS. I haven't read a single post, so am responding ad-lib from your topic.

[hellohello123]

Two things,

1. You think it's OK for a girl to lie in a relationship, I don't.

2. You know girls in bars that don't do tricks, I know girls in bars that say they don't do tricks. Bars don't employ girls out of charity.

PS

I met a girl that works in Pattaya, isn't a sex worker but slept with me the night I met her.

Come on, who yer kiddin?

You also slept with her the first night! So in your twisted logic that makes you a whore too. Welcome to their world

Not referring to the OP but its interesting the absolute arrogance of a high proportion of expats/tourists/TV members from the western world

and how they think their culture is superior or are they are more intelligent/sophsiticated,

thats why there are so many threads such as "I want to take her back to my country for a better life" or "I want the kids to have a better education overseas" or "why dont they have a good steak like back home"

Differences not superiority.

Not correct, if you didnt think you were superior, you would embrace the differences, not complain/point out how unsophisticated the thais are for not doing the way you are used to

[benalibina]

No offense to OP....only semantics.....he had a nutter before....as he wrote....now he comes on here with this topic......but ....you wrote....perhaps.....

I hope for him it all works out well and that he may become a happy man.

We can all go in the wrong direction once in awhile. The secret is knowing it before you go too far and making the correction before it's too late.

Believe me...i know....i know...

[AnotherOneAmerican]

for a 50-60 year old to get with a 21 yr old in thailand are one of:

- You must look like richard gere or George Clooney

- You must look seriously younger

- You have the charm and sales skills to sell Ice to Eskimos

- She is damaged goods and has to settle for you

- You and her both give gollum a run for his money in an ugly competition

- You are stinkinging rich (or stinking rich in their eyes)/have a visa to a country they want out

The majority of the people seem to be in the last half

Just my opinion

1. Their millions $$$$, big houses and fast cars doesn't help them at all.

2. Or seriously delusional.

3. No help at 50+

4. Maybe, but unlikely.

5. Ugly girls don't have lower standards.

6. back to Richard Gere.

I would say 99.99% of old foreign guys are in the last one (number 6), come to think of it, most of the young foreign guys are in that one too.

Edited September 4, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Not correct, if you didnt think you were superior, you would embrace the differences, not complain/point out how unsophisticated the thais are for not doing the way you are used to

And you are including me in your quote because?

[ttthailand]

Confidence attracts a lot of women, good for you (seriously), not many women like a wimpy, self conscious man unless she is a dominant character

Feel free to disagree with me (no offence will be taken) but

for a 50-60 year old to get with a 21 yr old in thailand are one of:

- You must look like richard gere or George Clooney

- You must look seriously younger

- You have the charm and sales skills to sell Ice to Eskimos

- She is damaged goods and has to settle for you

- You and her both give gollum a run for his money in an ugly competition

- You are stinkinging rich (or stinking rich in their eyes)/have a visa to a country they want out

The majority of the people seem to be in the last half

Just my opinion

Ok.... Hahaha... I don't want to blow my own horn but I would say your first three are near the mark and perhaps the perception of the last.

But really.... Confidence without arrogance is the key to success in most everything in life. Without it you are just another joe....

Just saying...

[96tehtarp]

I think I was not clear in my original post. Because she started staying with me (I live in the far end of Jomtien) it was costing her much more with motorbike taxis to get to me. Originally she had a room by the hotel. So I got her to give up her job and concentrate on learning English. To compensate I now give her 2,000 baht a week so that she has some independence financially and doesn't need to ask me for money for lunch and song teaws and all the bits that women buy. So she is slightly better off that her previous badly paid job and has the time to spend with me and do her studying. She wins and I get to spend time with her so I win.

The easy solution to her transportation problem is to help her get a motorcycle. Deposit 1000/2000 baht, monthly payment about 2000 baht, problem solved. She can do it in her own name. Tomorrow send her to Mityon shop. She can keep her job. You can make her payments for her and she's still got her job. Win win.