The Extended Thai Family - Love it or Hate it?

[benalibina]

The inlaws.......i have always seen them as decent people from a rural background who were fond of the kids....now i have seen through the veneer....Family, Self, Face and Money matters......at all costs. My bad...but not only.

[smotherb]

Extended family, hmmm. I am an only child, my step-father was in the Air Force, so we moved away from any extended family. I am a career expat, who rarely returns to his home country. I've been married three times, but had only one child. For the vast majority of my life, I have been out of touch with any remaining blood relatives and never lived in a household of more than three people--my parents and me when I was young, and my lady, our son, and me as an adult. However, now we are in Thailand, I have more extended family than I thought comfortable, and my wife is not Thai. My wife's brother and his wife are teachers here; they have four kids. My wife's niece also teaches here. Our only son is here with his Thai wife and their newborn son. My daughter-in-law's parents, sister, brother-in-law, and their three kids are here. We all get together at home on holidays--Thanksgiving being celebrated this Saturday.

Got to admit, I like it. However, it never lasts more than a couple of days and then they all go back to their homes, jobs, and lives. I think that is the best part of my extended family. They are not extended dependents.

[Gringogazzer]

Lao not Thai, but just the same.

Father & mother dead before we met, just aswel as "Ohhhwa Papa kill me die marry farang".

3 brothers & 2 sisters.

1 sister married to Thai man in Chiang Rai, never see.

The rest of us are split up on about 8 rai of land.

Father's & Mother's house still stands with the youngest brother in.

Next youngest brother has built himself a mansion with a karaoke machine just as big. Wife & 2 kids. Also another house 5k's away for Mia noi & kid. Couple weeks here, couple weeks there. Bloody hard worker that boy & funny as hell I think.

Next down is our house, the youngest sister lives in there as we spend more time in Thailand or the UK than Lao & she keeps it well.

Then the eldest brother as far from everyone as could be with his wife & 1 kid. 1 kid works in Vientiane. He doesn't interact to much with anyone, but nice bloke.

Her father's Mia noi (second mother) about 10k's away with step brother & step sister not to far. We do the journey every time we're there, me because the roads are no good so ride the bike. Bores the hell out of me but just smile all day.

Have some great nights with the 2 youngest brothers, the karaoke machine & few bottles of Lao Khao for them, beer for me. My Mick Jagger to their bells & whistles Lao music has them in tears.

Only being there 3 months a year keeps it fresh, but yer, would miss the little blighters. Tight family.

[sdanielmcev]

I'm from a big family, so I like having relations around. Gfs' family couldn't be nicer.

Tomorrow she gets to meet my family for Thanksgiving. Only 55 will be there.

[Blackfox]

David, if you are seeking for privacy, build your own house and stop complaining while you are living in your inlaws house.

Not only they care for your children but you have to moan on top.

Please, up there.......give me strength.............................

Greek, since English is not your first language, I'll give you a little pointer; he wasn't complaining...dick.

[atyclb]

Extended family. Love them to bits. We (wife, son and I) in our house. Sister and family next door. Mum and Dad other side. Brother and family across the road. Next door to him is his ex~wife and her family (only in Thailand can that happen). Down the road another brother and sister and their families. Various Aunts and Uncles and cousins scattered within a km either way.

it is quite normal for people in any country to want to live near the ATM

[Blackfox]

Wifes parents both dead ( blessing) before i met her.

9 sisters and brothers. id say 2 were "reasonable" and 7 were a waste of oxygen, see my Wife as a bank although it was broken a long time ago now.

Now they see her as "blackheart"

Mostly idle scroungers though some evil cunning in there too.

The best one is her eldest Brother, retired teacher about 60, Wife killed in car crash re married 38 years old woman, all the family stick their noses in and say she is no good, I said why dont they mind their own effin business........which is doing bugger all, all day everyday.....well from what Im told by the Wife.

Have almost nothing to do with them they are almost all in Loei.

Thinking you married into one of those poorly bred families.

[David48]

Do you usually bring your wallet with you to these sojourns if so what % of it do you leave with on average? Just out of interest.

Are you asking me?

If yes

'Do you usually bring your wallet with you' ... I live there a little bit more then half the year.

The other half (a little less on average) is in the West.

[Blackfox]

Faaaarking unbelievable.

You settle in Thailand where family is everything and you distance, or limit yourselves from your Thai family, albeit your wife's/gf's family.

So why the faaaark did you even come here.....and then marry?

Yeah, Thailand's great, "land of smiles", "the family integration is like nowhere else", I bet you say to people from your own country.

I wonder what the family and locals really think of you? Be honest with yourselves.

Not much I bet.

You can handle the family in moderation because you're certain they'll eventually want something.

Perhaps you married into same class.......it's just they don't have the coin.

As a result, you can only tolerate them so much.

Living the dream.

Edited November 28, 2014 by Blackfox

[sipi]

Extended family. Love them to bits. We (wife, son and I) in our house. Sister and family next door. Mum and Dad other side. Brother and family across the road. Next door to him is his ex~wife and her family (only in Thailand can that happen). Down the road another brother and sister and their families. Various Aunts and Uncles and cousins scattered within a km either way.

it is quite normal for people in any country to want to live near the ATM

For sure, it suits me. I borrowed 1000 baht off the wife yesterday.

[sfbandung]

Sister in law next door to the right, was married to UK guy but he has bailed. Teenage daughter. Great people, like a real sister to me.

Parents in law next door behind us. Great people, like real parents to me and most importantly real grandparents to my daughter from a previous relationship. Cannot speak highly enough of them. Hard working decent people who have been excellent parents to 7 children.

Sister in law next door to parents. Interesting lady, first born and has spent time in prison (ex husband a drug dealer, still inside), makes her quiet and keeps to herself.

Brother in law who stays with various of the above. Nice bloke. Part electrician, part plumber, part carpenter and builder. Keeps all of our places working and we feed him. Drinks too much and keeps hurting himself in motorbike crashes. But is only trouble to himself.

Various aunties and uncles close by. Some good some bad but they don't really affect us.

I love it.

[sipi]

Extended family. Love them to bits. We (wife, son and I) in our house. Sister and family next door. Mum and Dad other side. Brother and family across the road. Next door to him is his ex~wife and her family (only in Thailand can that happen). Down the road another brother and sister and their families. Various Aunts and Uncles and cousins scattered within a km either way.

I take my hat to you, your a braver man than me.

It is actually a lot of fun. They are all good. They never ask for money, although we enjoy buying the kids school-shoes and the occasional toy. It comes in handy if we need a baby-sitter, or if I am wandering the streets and suddenly need to use the loo. There is no shortage of someone to have an impromptu beer with. I really do enjoy it.

Please don't ask me about my family.......

[BritManToo]

Sister in law next door to the right, was married to UK guy but he has bailed. Teenage daughter. Great people, like a real sister to me.

Parents in law next door behind us. Great people, like real parents to me and most importantly real grandparents to my daughter from a previous relationship. Cannot speak highly enough of them. Hard working decent people who have been excellent parents to 7 children.

Sister in law next door to parents. Interesting lady, first born and has spent time in prison (ex husband a drug dealer, still inside), makes her quiet and keeps to herself.

Brother in law who stays with various of the above. Nice bloke. Part electrician, part plumber, part carpenter and builder. Keeps all of our places working and we feed him. Drinks too much and keeps hurting himself in motorbike crashes. But is only trouble to himself.

Various aunties and uncles close by. Some good some bad but they don't really affect us.

I love it.

Do decent families have jailbirds and drug dealers in them these days?

[soalbundy]

Faaaarking unbelievable.

You settle in Thailand where family is everything and you distance, or limit yourselves from your Thai family, albeit your wife's/gf's family.

So why the faaaark did you even come here.....and then marry?

Yeah, Thailand's great, "land of smiles", "the family integration is like nowhere else", I bet you say to people from your own country.

I wonder what the family and locals really think of you? Be honest with yourselves.

Not much I bet.

You can handle the family in moderation because you're certain they'll eventually want something.

Perhaps you married into same class.......it's just they don't have the coin.

As a result, you can only tolerate them so much.

Living the dream.

........where family money is everything

[Sydman]

Sister in law next door to the right, was married to UK guy but he has bailed. Teenage daughter. Great people, like a real sister to me.

Parents in law next door behind us. Great people, like real parents to me and most importantly real grandparents to my daughter from a previous relationship. Cannot speak highly enough of them. Hard working decent people who have been excellent parents to 7 children.

Sister in law next door to parents. Interesting lady, first born and has spent time in prison (ex husband a drug dealer, still inside), makes her quiet and keeps to herself.

Brother in law who stays with various of the above. Nice bloke. Part electrician, part plumber, part carpenter and builder. Keeps all of our places working and we feed him. Drinks too much and keeps hurting himself in motorbike crashes. But is only trouble to himself.

Various aunties and uncles close by. Some good some bad but they don't really affect us.

I love it.

Do decent families have jailbirds and drug dealers in them these days?

One black sheep doesn't make the whole family bad

[sfbandung]

Sister in law next door to the right, was married to UK guy but he has bailed. Teenage daughter. Great people, like a real sister to me.

Parents in law next door behind us. Great people, like real parents to me and most importantly real grandparents to my daughter from a previous relationship. Cannot speak highly enough of them. Hard working decent people who have been excellent parents to 7 children.

Sister in law next door to parents. Interesting lady, first born and has spent time in prison (ex husband a drug dealer, still inside), makes her quiet and keeps to herself.

Brother in law who stays with various of the above. Nice bloke. Part electrician, part plumber, part carpenter and builder. Keeps all of our places working and we feed him. Drinks too much and keeps hurting himself in motorbike crashes. But is only trouble to himself.

Various aunties and uncles close by. Some good some bad but they don't really affect us.

I love it.

Do decent families have jailbirds and drug dealers in them these days?

They do actually, as this experience proves. However in her defence it was her (now ex) husband that was doing it without her knowledge. She was in the house when the bust went down and got a custodial sentence much shorter than his. She has nothing to do with drugs and will choose future partners more carefully. It is a sad thing really because when it happened she was too ashamed to contact anyone in the family and effectively disappeared for two years. We only found out she has been inside when she re appeared.

[David48]

Do decent families have jailbirds and drug dealers in them these days?

Umm ... I'm always try and explain things as I see them.

The middle sister, mentioned in the OP.

She had a bf who delt drugs and did time.

Before I met my gf, he used to live and work at the Farm.

He couldn't have deal there, the Farm is to far remote.

From the few interactions I had with him, really nice guy, I liked him a lot ... ignoring what he did.

I met him after he got out because he is the Father of one of the kids.

Super respectful when he came to the Farm, cared about his boy, heck, he even bought me a cake one time, because he knew I occasionally bought some small gifts for his son.

.

[sfbandung]

Sister in law next door to the right, was married to UK guy but he has bailed. Teenage daughter. Great people, like a real sister to me.

Parents in law next door behind us. Great people, like real parents to me and most importantly real grandparents to my daughter from a previous relationship. Cannot speak highly enough of them. Hard working decent people who have been excellent parents to 7 children.

Sister in law next door to parents. Interesting lady, first born and has spent time in prison (ex husband a drug dealer, still inside), makes her quiet and keeps to herself.

Brother in law who stays with various of the above. Nice bloke. Part electrician, part plumber, part carpenter and builder. Keeps all of our places working and we feed him. Drinks too much and keeps hurting himself in motorbike crashes. But is only trouble to himself.

Various aunties and uncles close by. Some good some bad but they don't really affect us.

I love it.

Do decent families have jailbirds and drug dealers in them these days?

One black sheep doesn't make the whole family bad

Thanks Sydman, correct. I replied to BMT above ...

[MJP]

A flame post has been removed.

[johninbkk]

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Sounds a nightmare!

Sounds like a pack of bludgers.....

[David48]

Sounds a nightmare!

Sounds like a pack of bludgers.....

John, if you are referring to my OP with the 'Sounds like a pack of bludgers' ... how do you figure that?

Just curious like ...

[Kudel]

And most posters do not like the extended family,but give that lovely thai darling money every month,so youre paying for it...

[David48]

And most posters do not like the extended family,but give that lovely thai darling money every month,so youre paying for it...

I happily contribute to the cost of running the Farm.

No Question

No Pressure.

Bring out the Haters ... I'm ready ...

Bring it on.

[BritManToo]

And most posters do not like the extended family,but give that lovely thai darling money every month,so youre paying for it...

What's wrong with paying for it?

I pay for coffee too, does that make coffee wrong in some way?

[elgordo38]

And most posters do not like the extended family,but give that lovely thai darling money every month,so youre paying for it...

I happily contribute to the cost of running the Farm.

No Question

No Pressure.

Bring out the Haters ... I'm ready ...

Bring it on.

We all contribute in different ways in my case I give my g/f a monthly allowance and she in turn sends money home. She contributes the most among her 4 siblings as they want new cars and other materialistic things first before their parents welfare. We base our contribution on what we can afford and also our family life. If we are not happy in our environment we tend to contribute less. Congratulations you have found what works for you as I have.

[Blackfox]

What's wrong with paying for it?

Hahahaha.....you're essentially paying for sex.

Farang man with money pays the girls family (parents) up country.

Love......right.

[Kudel]

I payed for it when working as an engineer on certain ships and sailing in to port in certain country's still pay for it as an offshore worker nothing wrong with paying for it i am just honoust about paying for it .