Parent Dialogue #3

[thaibebop]

This is a tricky one for all parents, and it seems more so for parents with girls.

So, what are the right ages to discuss these issues with your children?

Do you think safe sex should be addressed by the parents or the school system?

Do you think boys and girls should be treated equally when it comes to your rules on dating? What are/was/will be your rules on dating?

I know that with certain topics some people take the "can never start to early" is this one of them? What about the idea that if the child is old enough to ask the question they are old enough for an answer?

Does Homosexuality belong in the discussion of sex education whether it's a class at school or in the conversation between you and your child?

It seems many parents wait until the child comes to them with questions, is this wise, and what if they never come to you?

[Thaiboxer]

My son has a LONG way to go before he even thinks about dating/sex; he's less than a year old. I would not wait until the kids come to you with questions as they may never come or may come when it's too late (such as if your boy already got his girlfriend pregnant, etc). The schools I attended in the States did provide sex education starting around the 5th grade. However, I think that parents shouldn't just let their kids get all their info from the schools. This is perhaps even more so nowadays with the advent of the internet and mass communication. Information on websites such as the one run by the CDC (Center for Disease Control) in Atlanta, GA is constantly being updated as new information becomes available. In regards to sex education, schools may be be teaching stuff that is outdated or will become so in the near future.

As for the age at which to discuss these issues, you just have to get a feel for when your own kids are ready to grasp these issues. This will vary from family to family and very often from guys to girls...girls tend to mature at an earlier age than boys of course. The homosexuality issue should fit in with the rest of it I think and can be discussed at the same time.

[Jasmine]

As for the age at which to discuss these issues, you just have to get a feel for when your own kids are ready to grasp these issues. This will vary from family to family and very often from guys to girls...girls tend to mature at an earlier age than boys of course. The homosexuality issue should fit in with the rest of it I think and can be discussed at the same time.

I come from a family where non of this was ever discussed and wanted my daughter to be able to come to me if need be to discuss things openly. I feel that by doing so you establish an atmosphere where hopefully they will feel they are able to talk to you.

To bring this topic up with my daughter who had asked me how babies are made I got some age appropriate books about sex from our local library, they explain what it is at a level that the child can understand. TBH most kids seem to go 'oh ok' then carry on playing. My daughter has been back to ask other questions and I'm hoping this will continue into her teens. I've also eliminated the need for an excrutiating time of having to sit her down as an older child to discuss the birds and the bees, she knows basically what it is now.

We have gay friends who have been together for years and who just got married, they've always been around so it was easy to explain that they are a couple who love each other - again done at a level she can understand

Edited August 8, 2006 by Jasmine

[thaibebop]

I think both you guys are approaching these issues in really effective ways. My wife surprised me when we talked about what we should do. She told me that when our girl is old enough she is getting the pill and is going to make sure that she carries condoms, "Because she can not trust the guys to be smart enough." Says my wife. She also told me that covering stds and pregnancy will be covered and all the bad stuff that goes with it. I was afraid that since my wife comes from a conservative background in Thailand we wouldn't see eye to eye, I was very wrong.

[Thaiboxer]

Sounds like your wife is concerned about the STD issue and rightfully so. STD's have always been an issue in the States, but here it's even more of an issue; there are probably as many AIDS cases here in Thailand (63 million people) as there are in the USA (300 million people). In addition to this, you have Hepatitis B and C; about 15% of all Southeast Asians carry Hepatitis B or C in their blood and can easily pass it on. As far as not trusting the guys, it's pretty much the same everywhere...teenage guys tend to think with their other heads so to speak Tell your daughter to keep her wits about her and she'll be fine.

Edited August 9, 2006 by Thaiboxer