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Thai Silence


petedk

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IMHO its more complicated than that. I think Thais don’t like to say no and don’t like to not please. Its not just about loosing face.

It's more about not wanting to be a bearer of bad news and not wanting to upset anyone than about face.

Thais do not like to say no and do not like to disappoint guests. Remember Thailand is basically a facade, all nice and pretty on the outside but many times a chaotic madness that works itself out in the end on the inside.

Many times it is also a case of not knowing the reaction of the falang when bearing disappointing news, like 'no Heineken', how many times and how much are falangs stereotyped as 'loud, aggressive, arguementitive, and with no language skills'?

A young waitress or waiter must be just terrified of this white giant who wants beer, Now, and we don't have it. I don't need that aggro.

This idea of 'face' is a lot more complex and delicate than not having the right kind of beer.

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Ok, I am going to sit on the fence here (with my great fat (built for comfort and fence sitting) farang arse).

firstly I agree with GuestHouse that in my experience I have found there is a tendency for Thai's to not want to admit mistakes. A tendency, some have apologised (at work) before. It can be maddening, doubt you can change it, so (Simon) best roll with it.

secondly my Thai partner, absolutley gets stuck into bad service and incorrect dishes. No smiley smiley, don't make waves, she is FIERCE!

Calls them over, goes through practically every ingredient until they get it right. Same with the bill, every minute item is checked, rechecked and calculated. Most times there is some small mistake.

She never gets any blow back, in fact they seem to run around after her, so it makes me wonder about different methods of getting service in Thailand. I have noticed she speaks very calmly but looks very scary> anyone else have similar experience?

My fiancee gets furious also when they stuff our orders, she look really pissed and sometimes i have to calm her down, she is a real bitch to them too, she will have this (i want to kill someone) look on her face until we leave the place.

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Why do farangs expect Thais to behave like farangs?

This is Thailand, here when someone have made an obvious mistake they know it, you know it, they know you know it and you know they know it, so what's the problem? Usually a nice hint will fix, if possible, whatever whent wrong.

Why do farangs always make a big production of someone being wrong?

Here in Thailand it's us farangs behaving different, not the other way around.

This isnt a case of as a farang, I want Thais to act like me. This is all about correcting things that are wrong. Like some of these examples have pointed out. If a restaurant doesnt have a certain item, then tell the person. If you as a customer order one thing and get something completely different, you should be able to tell them about it and have it corrected. This is about getting wrong things done correctly. It mostly applies when it's a business that is wrong about something and you are the customer than has been wronged. You have every right to make some noise until it gets done to your satisfaction or else you can take your money elsewhere.

No one should be allowed to hide behind an excuse, be it a Thai person or anyone else for that matter. This isnt something where I only hold Thais to this standard but they are the only ones that do it to me for the most part. Things that are wrong factually need to be corrected. In order to be corrected, attention must be brought to it. This is the only way. Sweeping it under the carpet because you're worried about someone's "face" is ridiculous.

Actually the topic is: Thai Silence, Why don't Thais admit there is a problem?

Of course you should correct the wrong but often when farangs are involved correcting the wrong comes second to making the Thai publicly say he was wrong.

Many farangs seem to thrive on making Thais loose face. When everyone knows something is wrong this serves no purpose what so ever, just concentrate on correcting the problem and you are much more likely to get good service next time.

If a farang finds a fly in his soup in a restaurant in EU land he will point this out and ask for a new bowl of soup. If a farang finds a fly in the soup in Thailand he will try and blame someone for this before asking for replacement. A bit exaggerated maybe but, quite often, this is the way it seems to work down here.

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Why do farangs expect Thais to behave like farangs?

This is Thailand, here when someone have made an obvious mistake they know it, you know it, they know you know it and you know they know it, so what's the problem? Usually a nice hint will fix, if possible, whatever whent wrong.

Why do farangs always make a big production of someone being wrong?

Here in Thailand it's us farangs behaving different, not the other way around.

This isnt a case of as a farang, I want Thais to act like me. This is all about correcting things that are wrong. Like some of these examples have pointed out. If a restaurant doesnt have a certain item, then tell the person. If you as a customer order one thing and get something completely different, you should be able to tell them about it and have it corrected. This is about getting wrong things done correctly. It mostly applies when it's a business that is wrong about something and you are the customer than has been wronged. You have every right to make some noise until it gets done to your satisfaction or else you can take your money elsewhere.

No one should be allowed to hide behind an excuse, be it a Thai person or anyone else for that matter. This isnt something where I only hold Thais to this standard but they are the only ones that do it to me for the most part. Things that are wrong factually need to be corrected. In order to be corrected, attention must be brought to it. This is the only way. Sweeping it under the carpet because you're worried about someone's "face" is ridiculous.

Actually the topic is: Thai Silence, Why don't Thais admit there is a problem?

Of course you should correct the wrong but often when farangs are involved correcting the wrong comes second to making the Thai publicly say he was wrong.

Many farangs seem to thrive on making Thais loose face. When everyone knows something is wrong this serves no purpose what so ever, just concentrate on correcting the problem and you are much more likely to get good service next time.

If a farang finds a fly in his soup in a restaurant in EU land he will point this out and ask for a new bowl of soup. If a farang finds a fly in the soup in Thailand he will try and blame someone for this before asking for replacement. A bit exaggerated maybe but, quite often, this is the way it seems to work down here.

Thats also true, many farangs seem to think they are more important then Thai people and should get special service like they do get anyway

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

I have read a number of posts about not giving up your Farang values and always stay true to your origins. These posts are usually received well. When a Farang tries to embrace Buddhism in exchange for Christianity or becomes a Muslim it think it is in general frowned upon.

There was an American military man who lived here 40 years ago and embraced the fighting style of the hill tribe people he lived with and married a local princess of the tribe. He was roundly criticized by his peers and the enemy although his methods were very effective. There are numerous British examples of the same thing happening.

It is OK to assimilate the surface actions of the culture but when one internalizes the elements of a foreign culture that are not approved in the West he becomes a pariah. See Tony P, Apocalypse Now.

Very few people are able to be objective about long time held values.

I spent the evening last night with a new Farang visitor to Thailand. He was telling me what he expected in his new girlfriend he was in love with after a week.

He said truth and openness were necessary for a successful relationship.

I told him he might just as well get on a plane back to Farang land tomorrow. If his Thai bride to be was upset he very well might not know it and that serenity and was far more important than truthfulness.

He seemed to have a difficult time trying to grasp that truthfulness was not a priority.

I don’t tell my Thai lady the truth and she does not tell me the truth and we both don’t admit if we are angry.

I have adapted to the Thai culture well and caused no friction.

I have experienced Western culture and I have experienced Thai culture. When in Rome!

In Thailand I pay a sin sot in India I get a dowry. In Italy I express my anger and in Thailand I remain quiet and sharpen my knife.

I guess it is ironic that a Thai with superior English writing ability would never debate the issues on this forum. One, they could never debate issues that are perceived as negative in a realistic manner and things that are supposed to be treated discretely would not be openly debated especially with a Farang.

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

I have read a number of posts about not giving up your Farang values and always stay true to your origins. These posts are usually received well. When a Farang tries to embrace Buddhism in exchange for Christianity or becomes a Muslim it think it is in general frowned upon.

There was an American military man who lived here 40 years ago and embraced the fighting style of the hill tribe people he lived with and married a local princess of the tribe. He was roundly criticized by his peers and the enemy although his methods were very effective. There are numerous British examples of the same thing happening.

It is OK to assimilate the surface actions of the culture but when one internalizes the elements of a foreign culture that are not approved in the West he becomes a pariah. See Tony P, Apocalypse Now.

Very few people are able to be objective about long time held values.

I spent the evening last night with a new Farang visitor to Thailand. He was telling me what he expected in his new girlfriend he was in love with after a week.

He said truth and openness were necessary for a successful relationship.

I told him he might just as well get on a plane back to Farang land tomorrow. If his Thai bride to be was upset he very well might not know it and that serenity and was far more important than truthfulness.

He seemed to have a difficult time trying to grasp that truthfulness was not a priority.

I don’t tell my Thai lady the truth and she does not tell me the truth and we both don’t admit if we are angry.

I have adapted to the Thai culture well and caused no friction.

I have experienced Western culture and I have experienced Thai culture. When in Rome!

In Thailand I pay a sin sot in India I get a dowry. In Italy I express my anger and in Thailand I remain quiet and sharpen my knife.

I guess it is ironic that a Thai with superior English writing ability would never debate the issues on this forum. One, they could never debate issues that are perceived as negative in a realistic manner and things that are supposed to be treated discretely would not be openly debated especially with a Farang.

Maybe most of the debates arent realistic in the first place and are more on the subject that im superior to you because of this or that, and my way is better etc, ive seen it on other Thai forums

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'Very few people are able to be objective about long time held values.'

so true, our own core values are difficult to see past. These our deepest (earliest) held beliefs often exist almost subliminally .

outside our own turf, these values are not necessarily the norm, and may get offended, you then see a variety of behaviour from acceptance to getting pi__ed about it.

Gosh. Im' boring, wheres terry57's take on it?

PS: Lord Donz,

Thanks mate, nice to know someone elses missus has the stink eye, to be honest it kind of turns me on (I like watching women argue!) :o

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Why do farangs expect Thais to behave like farangs?

This is Thailand, here when someone have made an obvious mistake they know it, you know it, they know you know it and you know they know it, so what's the problem? Usually a nice hint will fix, if possible, whatever whent wrong.

Why do farangs always make a big production of someone being wrong?

Here in Thailand it's us farangs behaving different, not the other way around.

This isnt a case of as a farang, I want Thais to act like me. This is all about correcting things that are wrong. Like some of these examples have pointed out. If a restaurant doesnt have a certain item, then tell the person. If you as a customer order one thing and get something completely different, you should be able to tell them about it and have it corrected. This is about getting wrong things done correctly. It mostly applies when it's a business that is wrong about something and you are the customer than has been wronged. You have every right to make some noise until it gets done to your satisfaction or else you can take your money elsewhere.

No one should be allowed to hide behind an excuse, be it a Thai person or anyone else for that matter. This isnt something where I only hold Thais to this standard but they are the only ones that do it to me for the most part. Things that are wrong factually need to be corrected. In order to be corrected, attention must be brought to it. This is the only way. Sweeping it under the carpet because you're worried about someone's "face" is ridiculous.

Actually the topic is: Thai Silence, Why don't Thais admit there is a problem?

Of course you should correct the wrong but often when farangs are involved correcting the wrong comes second to making the Thai publicly say he was wrong.

Many farangs seem to thrive on making Thais loose face. When everyone knows something is wrong this serves no purpose what so ever, just concentrate on correcting the problem and you are much more likely to get good service next time.

If a farang finds a fly in his soup in a restaurant in EU land he will point this out and ask for a new bowl of soup. If a farang finds a fly in the soup in Thailand he will try and blame someone for this before asking for replacement. A bit exaggerated maybe but, quite often, this is the way it seems to work down here.

What I said before was not meant to make a Thai lose face. The subject of whatever went wrong though must be brought out in the open to the offender so they know what it is thats wrong. Now I dont mean you scream at them and let the whole room hear you. You just tell the person face to face, no need to get angry about it. The reason you have to make the person admit their wrong is because if you point out a problem to them, they will try to blow it off or blame someone else. The goal is to make sure said problem is corrected.

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I don’t tell my Thai lady the truth and she does not tell me the truth and we both don’t admit if we are angry.

I have adapted to the Thai culture well and caused no friction.

The complicating factor is that, although friction is avoided at the time, the feelings of anger, resentment, fear etc. are still there under the surface. Your lady may go and unload her frustrations on a friend and have a good moan about you.

The tendency of Thais to subdue their immediate feelings emotions can lead to a build up of emotion that can bring about problems later on. Without some kind of vent, things can be bottled up until there is a huge emotional eruption that can seem all out of proportion to the situation.

In the restaurant situation, if a worker encounters a large number of arrogant farangs and over a period of time subdues their own emotional responses, I would bet that such feelings would be manifested in some other way outside of the work environment.

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For those of you who employ Thais, why not offer some *incentive* for them to let you know when there's a problem?

Make it a game. Let them compete with one-another on it. Give them some baht.

That would never work, you may have to pay them more than you intended to :o

Better stick to the current system of coming up with as many ways to "fine" them as possible, then they will keep quiet and don't come up with any new inventive ideas that could interfere with the normal way of running things. :D

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

I dont think so

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

I dont think so

As usual...an annoying one sentence reply.

You "could not agree more" with someone that stated that "A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others ..."

Ar$e.

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

I dont think so

As usual...an annoying one sentence reply.

You "could not agree more" with someone that stated that "A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others ..."

Ar$e.

Well in my experience with Thailand yes, im usually hang out in the touristy places and see it alot, even had a tangle with one british guy over it.

If you dont like my one sentence replies then dont reply, simple as that :o

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

I dont think so

As usual...an annoying one sentence reply.

You "could not agree more" with someone that stated that "A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others ..."

Ar$e.

Well in my experience with Thailand yes, im usually hang out in the touristy places and see it alot, even had a tangle with one british guy over it.

If you dont like my one sentence replies then dont reply, simple as that :o

Problem is Donz that most of us who live in Thailand know that in fact this is not the case.

I've yet to see one post from you that has been contructive or useful. I'm sure the we love Donz brigade will jump to your defence again not that I really care. As I mentioned to you in another thread when you finally move and live here you'll see that most peoples gripes are accurate, and its nothing to do with farang feeling superior, far from it. Agreed some people embelish the stories a little bit, but they all have some truth in them.

Bact to the topic, when I first came here transitioning a department from the UK office to BKK I had issues with "Thai Silence". In business, especially the industry I work in, its important that if you have made a mistake or find a problem that it is raised so it can be put right. I'm not going to blame anyone when they come to me with an issue either caused by them or found by them, its more important to get it fixed. It also bugged me that no one would ask questions during meetings or training. In the end I worked through my Thai counterpart to get them to report issues and problems to him, then he would inform me....this worked really well and once they realised that they were not going to get into trouble they come to me directly now, they also ask questions during meetings too :D My experience of course is purely in a business environment I haven't really encountered the problem outside of work, or maybe I have but been unaware :D Thailand isn't perfect, I could rant on about lots of things I dislike (and its not about comparing with home, more to do with improving things for Thais'), but I still wouldn't want to live anywhere else, this is my home now and long may it be so :D

Edited by moonoi
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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

I dont think so

As usual...an annoying one sentence reply.

You "could not agree more" with someone that stated that "A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others ..."

Ar$e.

Well in my experience with Thailand yes, im usually hang out in the touristy places and see it alot, even had a tangle with one british guy over it.

If you dont like my one sentence replies then dont reply, simple as that :o

Problem is Donz that most of us who live in Thailand know that in fact this is not the case.

I've yet to see one post from you that has been contructive or useful. I'm sure the we love Donz brigade will jump to your defence again not that I really care. As I mentioned to you in another thread when you finally move and live here you'll see that most peoples gripes are accurate, and its nothing to do with farang feeling superior, far from it. Agreed some people embelish the stories a little bit, but they all have some truth in them.

Bact to the topic, when I first came here transitioning a department from the UK office to BKK I had issues with "Thai Silence". In business, especially the industry I work in, its important that if you have made a mistake or find a problem that it is raised so it can be put right. I'm not going to blame anyone when they come to me with an issue either caused by them or found by them, its more important to get it fixed. It also bugged me that no one would ask questions during meetings or training. In the end I worked through my Thai counterpart to get them to report issues and problems to him, then he would inform me....this worked really well and once they realised that they were not going to get into trouble they come to me directly now, they also ask questions during meetings too :D My experience of course is purely in a business environment I haven't really encountered the problem outside of work, or maybe I have but been unaware :D Thailand isn't perfect, I could rant on about lots of things I dislike (and its not about comparing with home, more to do with improving things for Thais'), but I still wouldn't want to live anywhere else, this is my home now and long may it be so :D

And some day you may love me too, like i said i am talking about my experience, and its usually in the touristy areas, patong, khoasan rd, cheweng etc.

And alot of stories I believe doesnt have much truth in them, not saying all the stories are made up here, but figures of 99% etc of thais NEVER admit there wrong is BS

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

I dont think so

As usual...an annoying one sentence reply.

You "could not agree more" with someone that stated that "A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others ..."

Ar$e.

Well in my experience with Thailand yes, im usually hang out in the touristy places and see it alot, even had a tangle with one british guy over it.

If you dont like my one sentence replies then dont reply, simple as that :o

Problem is Donz that most of us who live in Thailand know that in fact this is not the case.

I've yet to see one post from you that has been contructive or useful. I'm sure the we love Donz brigade will jump to your defence again not that I really care. As I mentioned to you in another thread when you finally move and live here you'll see that most peoples gripes are accurate, and its nothing to do with farang feeling superior, far from it. Agreed some people embelish the stories a little bit, but they all have some truth in them.

Bact to the topic, when I first came here transitioning a department from the UK office to BKK I had issues with "Thai Silence". In business, especially the industry I work in, its important that if you have made a mistake or find a problem that it is raised so it can be put right. I'm not going to blame anyone when they come to me with an issue either caused by them or found by them, its more important to get it fixed. It also bugged me that no one would ask questions during meetings or training. In the end I worked through my Thai counterpart to get them to report issues and problems to him, then he would inform me....this worked really well and once they realised that they were not going to get into trouble they come to me directly now, they also ask questions during meetings too :D My experience of course is purely in a business environment I haven't really encountered the problem outside of work, or maybe I have but been unaware :D Thailand isn't perfect, I could rant on about lots of things I dislike (and its not about comparing with home, more to do with improving things for Thais'), but I still wouldn't want to live anywhere else, this is my home now and long may it be so :D

And some day you may love me too, like i said i am talking about my experience, and its usually in the touristy areas, patong, khoasan rd, cheweng etc.

And alot of stories I believe doesnt have much truth in them, not saying all the stories are made up here, but figures of 99% etc of thais NEVER admit there wrong is BS

I never said I didn't love you :D

and as the saying goes "there are lies, damned lies and statistics" :D However whilst 99% is of course overblown...what it really means is "the majority of"

It is a pretty high percentage and when I first came here I was as sceptical as you are now. It suprised me how true many of the so called "negative" posts are. However I don't see those posts as negative or "thai bashing" (a favourite phrase of yours). Rather I see some posters who have a had a bad experience and sharing that with everyone. Maybe it is padded out a bit, but as I said before there is a lot a truth in what is being said.

In your case, you admit that your experience is limited to tourist areas....so when you make a comment why don't you qualify your statement by saying so? Certainly tourist areas are not anywhere close to what Thailand really is.

As for noisy, loud mouthed brits who think they are superior to all (you mentioned you "even had a tangle with one british guy over it" earlier) I have to agree. But that attitude is limited to a specific type of Brit tourist (I would call them working class, but then Britain is supposedly a classless society so I won't :D I'll call them Pikeys' or Chavs' :D) and they are the same wherever they go, be it Thailand, France or Bognor. When I lived in Paris they wound me up no end, to such an extent that in a McDonalds on the Champs Elysees I also had a tangle with one of these "tourists". They make life hel_l for genuine tourists and expat Brits who live abroad.

Edited by moonoi
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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

couldnt agree with you more

Are we reading the thoughts of the two Founder Members of the "Sweeping Statement Society" or what?

Most - if not all of us - know our place here and realize we are only guests in this fascinating country.

Catch up!

I dont think so

As usual...an annoying one sentence reply.

You "could not agree more" with someone that stated that "A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others ..."

Ar$e.

Well in my experience with Thailand yes, im usually hang out in the touristy places and see it alot, even had a tangle with one british guy over it.

If you dont like my one sentence replies then dont reply, simple as that :o

Problem is Donz that most of us who live in Thailand know that in fact this is not the case.

I've yet to see one post from you that has been contructive or useful. I'm sure the we love Donz brigade will jump to your defence again not that I really care. As I mentioned to you in another thread when you finally move and live here you'll see that most peoples gripes are accurate, and its nothing to do with farang feeling superior, far from it. Agreed some people embelish the stories a little bit, but they all have some truth in them.

Bact to the topic, when I first came here transitioning a department from the UK office to BKK I had issues with "Thai Silence". In business, especially the industry I work in, its important that if you have made a mistake or find a problem that it is raised so it can be put right. I'm not going to blame anyone when they come to me with an issue either caused by them or found by them, its more important to get it fixed. It also bugged me that no one would ask questions during meetings or training. In the end I worked through my Thai counterpart to get them to report issues and problems to him, then he would inform me....this worked really well and once they realised that they were not going to get into trouble they come to me directly now, they also ask questions during meetings too :D My experience of course is purely in a business environment I haven't really encountered the problem outside of work, or maybe I have but been unaware :D Thailand isn't perfect, I could rant on about lots of things I dislike (and its not about comparing with home, more to do with improving things for Thais'), but I still wouldn't want to live anywhere else, this is my home now and long may it be so :D

And some day you may love me too, like i said i am talking about my experience, and its usually in the touristy areas, patong, khoasan rd, cheweng etc.

And alot of stories I believe doesnt have much truth in them, not saying all the stories are made up here, but figures of 99% etc of thais NEVER admit there wrong is BS

I never said I didn't love you :D

and as the saying goes "there are lies, damned lies and statistics" :D However whilst 99% is of course overblown...what it really means is "the majority of"

It is a pretty high percentage and when I first came here I was as sceptical as you are now. It suprised me how true many of the so called "negative" posts are. However I don't see those posts as negative or "thai bashing" (a favourite phrase of yours). Rather I see some posters who have a had a bad experience and sharing that with everyone. Maybe it is padded out a bit, but as I said before there is a lot a truth in what is being said.

In your case, you admit that your experience is limited to tourist areas....so when you make a comment why don't you qualify your statement by saying so? Certainly tourist areas are not anywhere close to what Thailand really is.

As for noisy, loud mouthed brits (you mentioned you "even had a tangle with one british guy over it" earlier) I have to agree. But that attitude is limited to a specific type of Brit tourist and they are the same wherever they go, be it Thailand, France or Bognor. When I lived in Paris they wound me up no end, to such an extent that in a McDonalds on the Champs Elysees I also had a tangle with one of these "tourists". They make life hel_l for genuine tourists and expat Brits who live abroad.

Yes but alot of the posts can be labelled as Thai bashing as alot of the posters only post negative responses and overblow in nearly all there posts, we all go abit overboard with our posts and you could also say there is some truth in my posts now couldnt you. Plus alot of us here are just here for abit of fun and getting info that we need from other members

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Yes but alot of the posts can be labelled as Thai bashing as alot of the posters only post negative responses and overblow in nearly all there posts, we all go abit overboard with our posts and you could also say there is some truth in my posts now couldnt you. Plus alot of us here are just here for abit of fun and getting info that we need from other members

Like to have the last word don't you :D

Yes indeed you are correct....but as I said, your truth is limited to touristy areas. But you choose not to mention that and instead base your whole view of thai society on those experiences and what your gf tells you (and she may only be telling you what you want to hear so that you'll move here too, have you ever thought about that? :o)

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I see all the Thai bashers are loving this thread, telling all these funny STORIES so they can have a good old bash at the Thai ppl.

Good for a laugh though

This thread will be knocked on the head real soon.

Forum Rules:

"or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated"

Not necessarily its just making observations on what goes on, hardly ext. negative views on thailand.

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Yes but alot of the posts can be labelled as Thai bashing as alot of the posters only post negative responses and overblow in nearly all there posts, we all go abit overboard with our posts and you could also say there is some truth in my posts now couldnt you. Plus alot of us here are just here for abit of fun and getting info that we need from other members

Like to have the last word don't you :D

Yes indeed you are correct....but as I said, your truth is limited to touristy areas. But you choose not to mention that and instead base your whole view of thai society on those experiences and what your gf tells you (and she may only be telling you what you want to hear so that you'll move here too, have you ever thought about that? :o)

I know alot of Thai people and know someone who lives in phuket and they love it, I want toi move there for a different lifestyle and just experiece a different lifestyle, maybe not permanently, plus i do have a few Thai business parnters and Thai employees who work with me here in sydney, Also do hang out with them every once in awhile. But these thais are very well educated and I find them to be just as good as anyone to work with.

My gf has definately told me about what thailands about etc I will also be working with the father in-law soon as partner to help get the farang business in.

I bet you i will love the place as im not easily a guy who gets depressed

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Yes but alot of the posts can be labelled as Thai bashing as alot of the posters only post negative responses and overblow in nearly all there posts, we all go abit overboard with our posts and you could also say there is some truth in my posts now couldnt you. Plus alot of us here are just here for abit of fun and getting info that we need from other members

Like to have the last word don't you :D

Yes indeed you are correct....but as I said, your truth is limited to touristy areas. But you choose not to mention that and instead base your whole view of thai society on those experiences and what your gf tells you (and she may only be telling you what you want to hear so that you'll move here too, have you ever thought about that? :o)

I know alot of Thai people and know someone who lives in phuket and they love it, I want toi move there for a different lifestyle and just experiece a different lifestyle, maybe not permanently, plus i do have a few Thai business parnters and Thai employees who work with me here in sydney, Also do hang out with them every once in awhile. But these thais are very well educated and I find them to be just as good as anyone to work with.

My gf has definately told me about what thailands about etc I will also be working with the father in-law soon as partner to help get the farang business in.

I bet you i will love the place as im not easily a guy who gets depressed

I'm sure you will, as do 99% of expats that live here

I came here initially just for a year, now I now "own" a house (well I pay my gfs' mortgage...its cheaper than renting :D but she isn't allowed to live with me so she stays with her parents!), a car and for the first time thinking of settling down and making Thailand my permanent base......before arriving here I was a bit of a Nomad :D

Edited by moonoi
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Yes but alot of the posts can be labelled as Thai bashing as alot of the posters only post negative responses and overblow in nearly all there posts, we all go abit overboard with our posts and you could also say there is some truth in my posts now couldnt you. Plus alot of us here are just here for abit of fun and getting info that we need from other members

Like to have the last word don't you :D

Yes indeed you are correct....but as I said, your truth is limited to touristy areas. But you choose not to mention that and instead base your whole view of thai society on those experiences and what your gf tells you (and she may only be telling you what you want to hear so that you'll move here too, have you ever thought about that? :o)

I know alot of Thai people and know someone who lives in phuket and they love it, I want toi move there for a different lifestyle and just experiece a different lifestyle, maybe not permanently, plus i do have a few Thai business parnters and Thai employees who work with me here in sydney, Also do hang out with them every once in awhile. But these thais are very well educated and I find them to be just as good as anyone to work with.

My gf has definately told me about what thailands about etc I will also be working with the father in-law soon as partner to help get the farang business in.

I bet you i will love the place as im not easily a guy who gets depressed

I'm sure you will, as do 99% of expats that live here

I came here initially just for a year, now I now "own" a house (well I pay my gfs' mortgage...its cheaper than renting :D but she isn't allowed to live with me so she stays with her parents!), a car and for the first time thinking of settling down and making Thailand my permanent base......before arriving here I was a bit of a Nomad :D

Well good luck with everything, if you want a house built next year message me :D

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A lot if not most farangs behave like they are superior to others but they will not admit. Why?

I have read a number of posts about not giving up your Farang values and always stay true to your origins. These posts are usually received well. When a Farang tries to embrace Buddhism in exchange for Christianity or becomes a Muslim it think it is in general frowned upon.

There was an American military man who lived here 40 years ago and embraced the fighting style of the hill tribe people he lived with and married a local princess of the tribe. He was roundly criticized by his peers and the enemy although his methods were very effective. There are numerous British examples of the same thing happening.

It is OK to assimilate the surface actions of the culture but when one internalizes the elements of a foreign culture that are not approved in the West he becomes a pariah. See Tony P, Apocalypse Now.

Very few people are able to be objective about long time held values.

I spent the evening last night with a new Farang visitor to Thailand. He was telling me what he expected in his new girlfriend he was in love with after a week.

He said truth and openness were necessary for a successful relationship.

I told him he might just as well get on a plane back to Farang land tomorrow. If his Thai bride to be was upset he very well might not know it and that serenity and was far more important than truthfulness.

He seemed to have a difficult time trying to grasp that truthfulness was not a priority.

I don’t tell my Thai lady the truth and she does not tell me the truth and we both don’t admit if we are angry.

I have adapted to the Thai culture well and caused no friction.

I have experienced Western culture and I have experienced Thai culture. When in Rome!

In Thailand I pay a sin sot in India I get a dowry. In Italy I express my anger and in Thailand I remain quiet and sharpen my knife.

I guess it is ironic that a Thai with superior English writing ability would never debate the issues on this forum. One, they could never debate issues that are perceived as negative in a realistic manner and things that are supposed to be treated discretely would not be openly debated especially with a Farang.

Do you want to assimilate or integrate?

It sounds like you're an "assimilator".

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I don’t tell my Thai lady the truth and she does not tell me the truth and we both don’t admit if we are angry.

I have adapted to the Thai culture well and caused no friction.

-------------

This is SO difficult to do. It makes me sad to try and guess what is upsetting my Thai partner when I know I'll never get a direct answer to a question. And it is even harder for me to keep my questions and irritations under control. I'm not sure it is healthy for westerners to do this.

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