Thai Wife

[wisher15]

Your situation is not all bad. Ride it out and perhaps things will improve with time. No relationship is perfect and don't let anyone try to tell you that theirs is. If she is hitting all the other areas vital to a marriage then live with it. Communicate and let her how you feel, push for the threesome action and keep being the man you are. If things go totally south in the romance department then get yourself a side chick. Life and romance in general is never as it is in the movies. Best of luck.

thanks good advice , real not like some idiots who write judgemental statements thanks

[wisher15]

I think I may be able to give you some advice as a gay man which have had many bisexual partners and know many gays in the closet.

Either she is bisexual or she is lesbian trying to fit in society, the story about "forgiving easy" is all bulls.

If the first is true, to a bisexual one gender can never be truly satisfying. For no matter how much they love someone, hormones tell them differently, they need that other side of their sexuality. As you know, sex is a very difficult urge to resist. Of course she will not be able to talk to you because she knows how you feel. About affection, Thai are not known to be very emotional in that sense. I know of married couple that never hug and kiss.

If your wife is homosexual and she is in the closet, she is doing as an attempt to have a normal life. She cannot love you. I know a guy near my home, gay, married with 3 children. His wife complains of the exact things as you do.

Personally, from what you describe, I think we are looking at case n.2 but I could be wrong.

I could suggest lot of ways to get to the truth, but do you really want to know the truth? If she is lesbian you cannot change her. Are you wiling to leave her or you prefer just to take what she can give you?

About her sexuality, I don't think her age should be a problem if she is really attracted to you.

Personally I would not want to live a lie, but I am young and have my whole life in front of me.

This is something you have to decide, but be aware that pushing the topic further may cause her to break up with you.

I also would try to do everything you can to better your look, work out, become slim, maybe wax your body hairs and try to look more attractive, that should help with sex a lot. Men sometime take for granted women should like them the way they are with no efforts, but they expect women to be beautiful. Well it doesn't work that way, just because you are married you don't have to let yourself go. Keep things as they would be if you were just engaged, keep that passion alive, don't let your relationship turn into a faded marriage.

Just remember, if she is homosexual you cannot do anything about it.

One of the most helpful contributions I've ever witnessed on TVF, Nakajima. Nice work.

I am politely working on my wife and finally got some facts out of her , when I go Thailand to be with her then I can be positive with her make her fill good about finally opening up . I also heed your advice on fixing my image , herv Sister married yankke guy and he told me he had to lift his game which inturn made his wife more attracted to him , then she put more effort in . Yes I agree Thais do not show much emotion , she told me her family are a bit cold in the emotional stakes , its just they not fussed and hide their feelings so not to bother each other , me I am Europen decent wear my heart on my sleeve;

Just remember lesbian/bisexual may have different taste in what they consider attractive. Things that normal women value such as masculinity, muscles and hairs may be a turn off to her. I know it's a hard advice but: try to make yourself look as attractive TO HER as possible, which may require for you to abandon some characteristic men deeply care for.

Most homosexual couples also have defined roles, for gay we call "top" and "bottom" which identify us as mostly active male partner or the passive female, that usually goes for both sex and life.

I do not know if lesbians use the same terminology, assuming so, if she is a "top" maybe you should try to let her be more dominant both in life and sexually.

I also advice you to get in touch with groups better qualified to help you. Facebook has "groups" that support all kind of people, sometime groups are "hidden" or "private" and may be not easy to find and join. It would be very useful to hear what another bisexual/ homosexual female would advise.

However it goes I really wish you good luck and I think is admirable for you to have the courage to come to ask for advise at this forum, potentially exposing yourself to trolls and all sort of cynics.

You are a cool guy!

Isn't it just amazing how many things we'll always learn from life and each others as long as we keep sharing?

Thanks for positive feedback I wish people were more open minded , I wrote my story to better my own life in marrige but also as to make my wife happy , and its slowly coming with her opening up , and good marriages come from understanding and patience no one is right or wrong in marriage , it be nice if they just keep off ..

easy for idiots to make uneducated statements,

[Docno]

I have successfully converted two thai lesbians. The trick is to play the role properly physically and emotionally. It appears that you don't have what it takes. Your choices are put up with it (turn a blind eye) as some have suggested or walk away. If you've handled it for this long perhaps keep going as you have. As some suggested she's married to u for a) financial security save face c) child. Unfortunately for u love/sex were not included. She'd figured it out when she married u (keep the gf) to complete her overall needs but it seems u just figured it out. Good luck.

Studies have shown a person sexual orientation cannot be changed, not matter what. Not hormones, not chemicals, no behavioral modification can do it.

Either the 2 women you are referring to were not lesbians, or they just let you think you converted them.

Women can fake arousal they don't have erections that clearly show their state of mind.

Sure, but studies also show that sexual orientation is not either/or, black and white. People can be at different points along the spectrum. Some people will be exclusively heterosexual or homosexual in their preferences and some can fall at various points in-between. I once had a gf in Canada who went through a 'gay period' of several years in his 20s. He'd been popular with girls in high school and when I met him, he had a beautiful wife and two kids and apparently was very happily married. I suspect that women are even more 'ambisexual' than men ... a lot of my female friends have explored things with girl friends in their past in a way that most straight guys wouldn't consider for a second. Maybe the OP's wife lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. She can love a man but feels a relatively greater sexual attraction to women...

[sir charles IV]

In principal it doesn't matter if she has a male or a female partner besides you. It is deception. It's quite common for thai women to marry a farang for reasons stated and keep their thai partner. It's wrong and inconsiderate. Not knowing enough about your background it is reasonable to assume that you married her for the right reasons (love, company, family etc). But she hasn't. I don't buy into she's a lesbian and there's nothing you can do. You have the rights to demand from her what you have given her (honesty, loyalty etc). If you're not happy about it take her to her home in thailand and in front of her family discuss your grievances and give her (them) an ultimatum. If they don't accept threaten to divorce her in thailand and tell them u won't give them anything. I know she can return to your home country and claim something but it will be complicated and some give up. Be tough if u want changes otherwise carry on and think about walking into bedroom while she's with her partner and see if u get invited to join. We will hate/envy you for satisfying many men's fantasies.

[English 1]

She is Thai!

Of course she lies it's inbred.

Regardless of her being a good housewife YOU are only an ATM Machine.....

That is why she married you.

She is obviously a Lesbian though.

If she wants women tell her to find a Bi one and enjoy your Libido!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Menage a trois then

More like "menage a troll"

[ScotBkk]

I have successfully converted two thai lesbians. The trick is to play the role properly physically and emotionally. It appears that you don't have what it takes. Your choices are put up with it (turn a blind eye) as some have suggested or walk away. If you've handled it for this long perhaps keep going as you have. As some suggested she's married to u for a) financial security save face c) child. Unfortunately for u love/sex were not included. She'd figured it out when she married u (keep the gf) to complete her overall needs but it seems u just figured it out. Good luck.

I converted THREE young Thai women. Cost me 20,000 - nigh on 10 yrs ago. This was Soi Nana where I picked up 3 stunners. What a night BTW my mates started calling me the Beast of Asia hahahaha .....

[Nakajima]

I have successfully converted two thai lesbians. The trick is to play the role properly physically and emotionally. It appears that you don't have what it takes. Your choices are put up with it (turn a blind eye) as some have suggested or walk away. If you've handled it for this long perhaps keep going as you have. As some suggested she's married to u for a) financial security save face c) child. Unfortunately for u love/sex were not included. She'd figured it out when she married u (keep the gf) to complete her overall needs but it seems u just figured it out. Good luck.

Studies have shown a person sexual orientation cannot be changed, not matter what. Not hormones, not chemicals, no behavioral modification can do it.

Either the 2 women you are referring to were not lesbians, or they just let you think you converted them.

Women can fake arousal they don't have erections that clearly show their state of mind.

Sure, but studies also show that sexual orientation is not either/or, black and white. People can be at different points along the spectrum. Some people will be exclusively heterosexual or homosexual in their preferences and some can fall at various points in-between. I once had a gf in Canada who went through a 'gay period' of several years in his 20s. He'd been popular with girls in high school and when I met him, he had a beautiful wife and two kids and apparently was very happily married. I suspect that women are even more 'ambisexual' than men ... a lot of my female friends have explored things with girl friends in their past in a way that most straight guys wouldn't consider for a second. Maybe the OP's wife lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. She can love a man but feels a relatively greater sexual attraction to women...

Sure sexuality is not black or white.

But you said you converted two lesbians. They were not. If they were they could not be converted no matter what you did.

The examples you described fall in other categories: bisexual or bi-curious.

To a homosexual the opposite sex is disgusting as the same sex is to a heterosexual.

It is also a false perception that females experiment more than guys. To most men experimenting is just a problem of lost masculinity but during teenagers years, it is very common for heterosexual males to experiment especially with some close quarter best friend.

Females do have to fear society judgement as much as men but they can also get less physical satisfaction from same sex experimentation.

I don't have the exact statistic but I don't think there would be much difference, especially in Thailand where bisexuality among young men is really really really common.

[Suradit69]

You could propose that the past lesbian lover move in with the two of you...buy a King size bed so you have room for the three of you...seriously a lot of Thai women are bisexual and they are more comfortable with the cuddling, caressing and sharing with their girl friend than they are with fulfilling the needs of a dick. What have you got to lose? You already feel like she is going through the motions so nothing ventured nothing gained from your current perceived lost status...who knows the availability of a dick now and then in place of a dildo for the lesbian girls may work out in your favor... plus Thai society is very accommodating to sleeping arrangements

"....seriously a lot of Thai women are bisexual..."

The Farang Fantasy Factory is working overtime. What's " a lot" and how could you possibly know what even 0.0001% of Thai women are?

Farang Fantasy Factory running 24/7.

[CapeThai]

It is what it is.... If she fancy woman as well get another lady to join you in the bedroom and spice things up !!

Simple as that.

[sir charles IV]

Nakakima and donco. My dear friends I sympathise with your assessments but unfortunately I've proven you wrong. Hihihi. It can be done. I understand you probably can't do it. Am I a better man than you? Hmmmmm rather not say. Hahaha. Ps-for every study there is another study with the opposite conclusion. I'm qualified to testify to that. Believe me!!!!!

[wisher15]

In principal it doesn't matter if she has a male or a female partner besides you. It is deception. It's quite common for thai women to marry a farang for reasons stated and keep their thai partner. It's wrong and inconsiderate. Not knowing enough about your background it is reasonable to assume that you married her for the right reasons (love, company, family etc). But she hasn't. I don't buy into she's a lesbian and there's nothing you can do. You have the rights to demand from her what you have given her (honesty, loyalty etc). If you're not happy about it take her to her home in thailand and in front of her family discuss your grievances and give her (them) an ultimatum. If they don't accept threaten to divorce her in thailand and tell them u won't give them anything. I know she can return to your home country and claim something but it will be complicated and some give up. Be tough if u want changes otherwise carry on and think about walking into bedroom while she's with her partner and see if u get invited to join. We will hate/envy you for satisfying many men's fantasies.

well written have to agree and get on with life , my friends live in Thailand for 30 years now , they said if my my wife not satisfy my needs just go out get one that does and soon enough the wife will change attitude and hopefully put out not just sex but passion cheers

[sir charles IV]

Scotbkk you son of a .....three women? Young ones too? You beast. I wet my pants thinking about being in bed with two lesbians. But 3? It gives it a whole new dimension. Now I gotta start thinking (fantasizing) about it. Damn u man!!!!!

[Nakajima]

Nakakima and donco. My dear friends I sympathise with your assessments but unfortunately I've proven you wrong. Hihihi. It can be done. I understand you probably can't do it. Am I a better man than you? Hmmmmm rather not say. Hahaha. Ps-for every study there is another study with the opposite conclusion. I'm qualified to testify to that. Believe me!!!!!

I am more qualified than you because I am a gay man and no way any woman could ever convert me and I know thousands of homosexuals both males and females. Sure that does not make me a "better man" (whatever that means) but I know way more than you about homosexuality.

I don't know what you have done, but trust me is not what you think you did. Those you think you converted had their reasons to make you believe so. As I said, a woman can fake whatever she wants.

[sir charles IV]

Wisher I think you are on the right track and hit the nail on the head. Once she realizes that you too have other options besides her and are thinking about exercising your options I bet you'll see quick and significant changes from her. I bet she'll drop her gf before u put On Your disco shoes to go out. Nonesense she's a lesbian and you have to accept it. You can accept it only if u want to and u can change it ( leave, find new sex partner etc)

[CapeThai]

In principal it doesn't matter if she has a male or a female partner besides you. It is deception. It's quite common for thai women to marry a farang for reasons stated and keep their thai partner. It's wrong and inconsiderate. Not knowing enough about your background it is reasonable to assume that you married her for the right reasons (love, company, family etc). But she hasn't. I don't buy into she's a lesbian and there's nothing you can do. You have the rights to demand from her what you have given her (honesty, loyalty etc). If you're not happy about it take her to her home in thailand and in front of her family discuss your grievances and give her (them) an ultimatum. If they don't accept threaten to divorce her in thailand and tell them u won't give them anything. I know she can return to your home country and claim something but it will be complicated and some give up. Be tough if u want changes otherwise carry on and think about walking into bedroom while she's with her partner and see if u get invited to join. We will hate/envy you for satisfying many men's fantasies.

Excuse me my Sir'ness, but you have absolutely no consideration for what would happen to their son do you ?

Do you really think this would solve the OPs bedroom situation.......after all she is in fact lesbian so stop talking through your hot hole as your advise will not do the OP any good, it will only distroy his life further.

[micmichd]

Don't worry about female hormones too much. Pregnancy doesn't kill libido, but giving birth to a child affects the vagina, of course.

You should know that a woman's g spot is not necessarily where males would like it to be. Let her show you where it is, women love orgsams, too.

[sir charles IV]

Nakajima son. You seem very uneducated, young and have a lot to learn. Being gay is not a qualification. I was referring to academic qualifications. You've undone what homosexuals have fought many years to remove stereotyping them. Anyhow that's your choice. It's a bit like saying Japanese men prefer thai women because they have small private parts and thai women have small private parts. Yet Japanese women prefer foreigners because they have larger private parts (women too). Now I don't know how true it is but its stereotyping and wrong. Here's a scientific fact for u. Bananas are better for health when eaten!!!

[CapeThai]

Wisher I think you are on the right track and hit the nail on the head. Once she realizes that you too have other options besides her and are thinking about exercising your options I bet you'll see quick and significant changes from her. I bet she'll drop her gf before u put On Your disco shoes to go out. Nonesense she's a lesbian and you have to accept it. You can accept it only if u want to and u can change it ( leave, find new sex partner etc)

So your saying the OP must o sleep around and this will CURE his wife from being Lesbian ? What nonsence you are talking..... Dont you think finding an solution which will work for both is better than starting an WAR ?

The OP has been married to this lady for 7 years and has a Son and by the looks of it loves her, so for him things might be different than go to WAR like you....

If personaly think its a bit selfish and arrogant of you to advise the OP to follow a Path which will end his marriage and loose his family while your sitting getting pissed in a bar on cheap Thai whiskey somewhere not having all the facts.

[micmichd]

Don't worry about female hormones too much. Pregnancy doesn't kill libido, but giving birth to a child affects the vagina, of course.

You should know that a woman's g spot is not necessarily where males would like it to be. Let her show you where it is, women love orgsams, too.

[sir charles IV]

Cape thai. I understand and accept what u say. However he's concerned otherwise he wouldn't bring it up. My advise is if he's happy with the way things are end of story. If he's not which he had every right to be then he can do something about it. She's in the wrong not him. She laid her own bed and has demonstrated that she's not a loyal wife. Many people leave miserably for rest of their lives because of the kids. You can manage your life well including taking care of kids without a cheating wife. Need balls and determination. Some lack one others lack both.

[micmichd]

Of course she might be Lesbian and will remain Lesbian, that's not a disease.

You might be able to find out what she's after, maybe read Part II chapter I of Kamasutra, and then draw your conclusion.

Nobody else but yourself will be able to do your very personal conclusion about your very personal relationship with a very individual woman.

[Nakajima]

Nakajima son. You seem very uneducated, young and have a lot to learn. Being gay is not a qualification. I was referring to academic qualifications. You've undone what homosexuals have fought many years to remove stereotyping them. Anyhow that's your choice. It's a bit like saying Japanese men prefer thai women because they have small private parts and thai women have small private parts. Yet Japanese women prefer foreigners because they have larger private parts (women too). Now I don't know how true it is but its stereotyping and wrong. Here's a scientific fact for u. Bananas are better for health when eaten!!!

First: don't call me son.

Second: you don't know anything about me or my education.

Third: so you are more qualified talking about homosexuals than one that is living it and have thousands of homosexuals friends? All you are qualified to talk about are your pathetic rants, probably just fantasies, about converting lesbians that, if ever happened anywhere besides your squalid imagination, was probably out of some direct material gain they had from you.

You say I have undone what my brothers and sister fought for, do you know how insulting it is to any of us gays saying that we can be converted? What if I try convert you? or your son? Would you like that?

Also, you maybe think to be funny, but you really aren't, pretty much pathetic.

It is not stereotyping saying that homosexuals like the same sex, it is just the way it is. You compare sexual identity with liking bigger penis? Are you even aware how does that sound?

You know nothing about all of this topic, stop talking about things you don't go, go out and pay someone to laugh at your jokes if you like to feel funny, or be a clown at some child birthday.

You are wasting my time, the poster time and possibly make fun of a situation that is obviously very serious to this man and probably his wife too, plus being very insensitive to the whole LGTB community.

Edited January 16, 2015 by Nakajima

[wvavin]

wisher15, Why not solve the whole problem by having a threesome? Everybody is happy.

[prolm2810]

yeah - I tend to agree with those here who say that you should "buy a king size bed" and invite her lesbian gf to share it with you and your wife- of course you'll be the king.

Rather live like that then with a wife/gf addicted to sex, and cheating on you with other men. I know this is like swearing in the church, but the fact is most men enjoy threesomes (If you can't beat them, join them - I would:)

[sir charles IV]

First: Can I call u sunshine?

Second: I've figured u already. No need to know more

Third: yes I know more about homesexuals than some. Being homosexual is not a qualification. I felt I had to repeat myself in case it was necessary. U don't know my qualifications as I have told u. Yes I converted two genuinely. They did not gain any financial or similar benefits. They gained a ?? Inch hmmm.

Are your brothers and sisters gay too? How many are there? Ohhhh is it just a euphemism? So u can call each other brothers and sisters but we can't use terms of endearment. Now who's pathetic sunshine?

My mum thinks I'm funny. Has she been lying to me all these years? Has she had a lesbian partner too and not told my dad? How dare she?

I know about the topic as it is about a man with a lesbian partner. In my case she became an ex-lesbian. It is safe to say that you don't know anything about this topic as the chances of you having a lesbian woman as a partner are slim. Or are they? Perhaps a Gogo girl will convert u into a heterosexual. Don't say it can't happen. I suggest u try it and u l

[sir charles IV]

And u may convert. I'm not stereotyping. I have many gay friends. In fact I think I'm a lesbian as I love eating ........ Tata

[Nakajima]

First: Can I call u sunshine?

Second: I've figured u already. No need to know more

Third: yes I know more about homesexuals than some. Being homosexual is not a qualification. I felt I had to repeat myself in case it was necessary. U don't know my qualifications as I have told u. Yes I converted two genuinely. They did not gain any financial or similar benefits. They gained a ?? Inch hmmm.

Are your brothers and sisters gay too? How many are there? Ohhhh is it just a euphemism? So u can call each other brothers and sisters but we can't use terms of endearment. Now who's pathetic sunshine?

My mum thinks I'm funny. Has she been lying to me all these years? Has she had a lesbian partner too and not told my dad? How dare she?

I know about the topic as it is about a man with a lesbian partner. In my case she became an ex-lesbian. It is safe to say that you don't know anything about this topic as the chances of you having a lesbian woman as a partner are slim. Or are they? Perhaps a Gogo girl will convert u into a heterosexual. Don't say it can't happen. I suggest u try it and u l

Being homosexual is qualification enough to be talking about homosexual life and nothing else can qualify you for that, not school, not studies, nothing.

I don't have a lesbian woman as a partner and infact I told the man to look for a more qualified advise from some lesbians or bisexual woman. That's what I do when I do not know things I don't just open my mouth hoping to saying something smart and funny.

But I am qualified to speak about life as a homosexual. In that matter, man or women does not change the prospective.

How do you even know I have never tried to have sex with a female? Did you read that somewhere in my post or my Facebook page? You still talk about things you know nothing about. By now, the fool-o-meter is already almost at maximum.

Fact is: if you are not an homosexual you don't know anything about us.

Can you be converted? Did you ever try having sex with a male? If not, why did you not? I suggest you try a nice young teenager hung boy, and I maybe one step more: how about becoming a trans? Some make up cannot do anything but good for you old tired look, dad!

Don't say it can't happen sweetheart. Actually the way you talk... uhmmm do I have you in one of my Facebook gay groups already? Is that why you feel so compelled to talk regarding gays?

Are we a little in the closet? Are we?

[Wat dee]

A very difficult situation here.

Not for you or your wife but for your kid.

What I would suggest talk to her and try to convince her to change her habits.

It will not be easy, but if you both love your child you should be able to both compromise.

I wish you every luck and I hope things change and this child has a mother and a father to look up to.

Change her habits? Tell OP where he can buy fix gay tablets.

[Dukeleto]

It sounds to me that if you had just hired a full time house keeper (with benefits) you would have been better off. The question is, if you did not love the house keeper and she was not performing, would you keep her on? The problems is you are possibly "in lust" due to the fact that you know deep down you don't really have her 100% which can be a great aphrodisiac even if you don't recognise it as such. It appears she is control as she is not emotionally attached to you. All of this however falls to naught when you factor in your son and his happiness. This unfortunately is your Achilles heel in this and you are probably one of millions of men who won't break up their home for the sake of their children. If she is lying and having an affair, just do the same on the quiet. Who knows, you stopping having sex with her may throw the balance in the opposite direction. You are responsible for your own happiness, not someone else, so go out and make yourself happy. Lord knows, she seems to be.