Can a Thai person get custody for a child?

[tartempion]

My Thai gf's brother is the biological father of a 4 year young girl.

Not married but His name is on the birth certificate and he lived with the mother for 3 months until he was thrown out of her house with the baby.

We sent him to Taiwan to work and get his life together, but he screwed up two years later, seems he was on yaba and was put on a plane back.

He then disappeared for some time.

We took the girl in and acts as parents and we are very happy doing this, until this week that is.

The father came back to live with his mother, just 1 km from where we live.

He is nothing more than a parasite living off his mother.

Over the last 10 days he has come to pick-up his daughter 3x.

My gf said "you can not oppose, he is the biological father"

Saturday it became clear he his using the girl as a token to lure the mother, she came over to see her daughter.

The grandfather here died two years ago, but he told the mother to never come to the village, which she never did until last Saturday that is.

It seems my gf has tried in the early months to ask the mother to give up her rights to the child, but it was never agreed upon.

Thus Saturday my gf went to talk to the child's mother at her mothers house and asked to get custody again. Mother answered she needed to consult her own mother. Note the child's mother was only 14 when the girl was born, the parasite father 33.

Now this morning the parasite came to our place to bring the girl to the grandmother's house again at exactly the moment we were leaving our home to get there.

My gf exploded and told the parasite:

1) he was not welcome at our place to take the girl any more, but the little one went with him.

2) she wants to know NOW if the mother is willing to sign some documents to give up her rights to the child.

In the negative they should take care of their child as of today....

I went to the village and assisted to the village drama unfolding there.

My gf is shouting like hell there.

Seems the father took a mobile to talk to the biomother.

I don't know how the day is going to end, but any advice welcome.

First question is what type of document can be signed, with a judge? And what's the value of that document.

I doubt the mother wants the father and the child back, but where the little one will sleep tonight remains an open question.

I guess the real parents don't give a dime for the girl's life and future, she is (was?) so lucky to be with us.

It is my understanding the father has no rights at all to the child, is that correct?

I don't know if there is a middle way, but we want her to have a passport and travel with us, thus the mother will need to sign some papers and we don't like to remain in the uncertainty the girl could be taken away from us any day.

Edited June 1, 2015 by tartempion

[offset]

If he not married to the mother of the child he has no rights over the child unless he has obtain parental right via the Children Court or at the Ampher

I think the mother might have to get the police involved if she not want him to have access to the child

[harryfrompattaya]

When he get the baby if he does you will be supporting the 2

I think you get a pair of running shoes.

Please read the mess you wrote about

[think twice act once]

Offer money to the childs mother. they will sign but dont pay before they sign other wise it will be an ongoing saga to get more abd more. Sign in front of a legible witness too. Like a lawyer or police or they will say the paper is bullshit and ask for more money. Good luck. Sounds like your trying to do the right thing. If this doesn't work go to your local court and apply for custody due to unfit parents. Though be prepared for hard work and a long process.

[AlQaholic]

what offset said is correct. I have been involved in a similar case and the Biological father in Thailand has not the same rights/responsibilities as in the west. He only assumes these rights/responsibilities when he legally marries the Mother.

Only way he can gain access to the child is by court order, and the court will always decide in favor of the Mother unless there are some serious circumstances such as harm to the child if the child stays with the Mother. In this Context, if you get involved in the fight to keep the child with the Mother expect some accusations towards you of child abuse by the circus surrounding the Biological Father.

One option is you can go to court and plead that the Mother has willingly abandoned her Child, in this way you can become the sole legal Guardians of the Child. This line of action will be easier of course if there has been no contact between the Mother and Child after the Child came to your house to stay. But this road is probably long and exhausting.

The best option would be if you can convince the Mother to sign a document giving you the status of legal guardians. A Thai lawyer can arrange this for you for little cost. This actually is quiet common in Thailand when Mothers leave their children with the Grandparents to pursue job or career.

Edited June 1, 2015 by AlQaholic

[offset]

what offset said is correct. I have been involved in a similar case and the Biological father in Thailand has not the same rights/responsibilities as in the west. He only assumes these rights/responsibilities when he legally marries the Mother.

Only way he can gain access to the child is by court order, and the court will always decide in favor of the Mother unless there are some serious circumstances such as harm to the child if the child stays with the Mother. In this Context, if you get involved in the fight to keep the child with the Mother expect some accusations towards you of child abuse by the circus surrounding the Biological Father.

One option is you can go to court and plead that the Mother has willingly abandoned her Child, in this way you can become the sole legal Guardians of the Child. This line of action will be easier of course if there has been no contact between the Mother and Child after the Child came to your house to stay. But this road is probably long and exhausting.

The best option would be if you can convince the Mother to sign a document giving you the status of legal guardians. A Thai lawyer can arrange this for you for little cost. This actually is quiet common in Thailand when Mothers leave their children with the Grandparents to pursue job or career

I do not think that signing in front of a lawyer is the complete answer because the mother could always change her mind and take the child back at any time

The best way would be for the mother to agree to give you full custodian rights in front of a judge in the Childrens Court he will then make a decision that is final

[greenchair]

Inform the mother that you would like to move away for a while. Ask her for a written consent to take the child.

Move far far away from the father.

Any legal documents you would like will take months and months. The damage will be irreparable by then. I had a Thai child for a couple of years. The father and mother fell in love again right there at the adoption office. I gave the child back. The father left after a month. The mother called after 2 months. That was 9 years ago. My little child shines now and I would not let him go again.

The point is, if you try to force the mother to sign papers, you will make the situation worse. A long holiday is best.

Be calm. Offering the mother a nice sum of compensation also goes a long way. A simple letter saying the girl can go to live in ----- should be alright.

Then when things are calm, you can gently get something more concrete.

[catman20]

my friend had a similar situation a few 100,000 baht should get you custardy and a trip to a lawyer for everyone one to sign the agreements.

Edited June 2, 2015 by catman20

[Mario2008]

The mother has all the legal rights and she determines the place where the child stays. Right now she allows her child to stay with ythe gf, but she can demand her child at any time.

The only way to get parental rights for your gf would be to adopt, but normally this requires that a person is married and it is a long way.

Saying that the child has been abandont might work in getting custody over the child, but the mother seems to have an intrest in her daughter again.

[AlQaholic]

Inform the mother that you would like to move away for a while. Ask her for a written consent to take the child.

Move far far away from the father.

Any legal documents you would like will take months and months. The damage will be irreparable by then. I had a Thai child for a couple of years. The father and mother fell in love again right there at the adoption office. I gave the child back. The father left after a month. The mother called after 2 months. That was 9 years ago. My little child shines now and I would not let him go again.

The point is, if you try to force the mother to sign papers, you will make the situation worse. A long holiday is best.

Be calm. Offering the mother a nice sum of compensation also goes a long way. A simple letter saying the girl can go to live in ----- should be alright.

Then when things are calm, you can gently get something more concrete.

The mother has all the legal rights and she determines the place where the child stays. Right now she allows her child to stay with ythe gf, but she can demand her child at any time.

The only way to get parental rights for your gf would be to adopt, but normally this requires that a person is married and it is a long way.

Saying that the child has been abandont might work in getting custody over the child, but the mother seems to have an intrest in her daughter again.

Greenchair makes very good sense, that is probably the most sensible thing to do in this particular case, even though moving far away might not be an easy option.

[tartempion]

Thanks for the replies, but nothing new under the sun

I just went to the village that afternoon to pick up the girl who was playing with other children at some neighboring house (from the grandmother's house)

What really baffled me is my gf claims she would simply drop the little one at the grandmother's house and let the biological father deal with it. At that time i found her at the barber shop and told her I would pick up the girl, she did not look happy I was intervening in the way she would handle the situation.

Last Friday late afternoon the father came to pick her up again, to bring her back 1 hour later. We learned the father called his ex-gf and asked the little one to talk to the mother. He is clearly using his daughter to lure the ex back for his pleasure. He is a parasite with zero income, he would not be able to pay food for his family, let alone for himself. Wat does he expect? For his ex to come living with him and have her work to get some income in a village where there is nothing?

Note the ex-gf has her own house 100kms from here offered to her by her mother who married a farang, I would like to see him leave the village and get his ass over there and leave us alone.

So the latest news is that the ex-gf landed in the village yesterday (Saturday) with a bag, staying over at least for the night.

I have no idea in which way this situation will evolve, I doubt the mother wants the girl back, but all is possible.

If she moves in with the grandmother in the village here I do consider renting a house at least 40kms away and putting all our properties here for sale. That should be ample to buy a house somewhere else.

I do not want a situation where the girl has to live between 2 fathers and two mothers.

I don't think the girl's life and future is of any consideration in this situation for the biological parents, I wonder if they are discussing how much money (x00.000 baht) they could ask me for the girl

Thus we decided no money will be handed over for the girl to stay with us, the father still owes me 70K baht from the 140k I paid to get his ass to Taiwan, if I add 3 years of interest....We did help out some other family members in the past and this will remain so: PAST.

I do give a small allowance to the grandmother, but if they both will live at her house that will be ended as well. I clearly told the grandmother so.

I am not going to feed parasites.

Edited June 6, 2015 by tartempion

[think twice act once]

good work. I feel sorty for the lil girl but your heart will only be used as an ATM for the family. It sounds like you've given enough. Cut back on the funds and you will see who really loves you in that family. Good luck

[think twice act once]

*sorry

[tartempion]

Update:

Sunday morning The father came at my place to take the little one to see his mother at the grandmother's place.

I was worried all day wondering what would happen, but at 17.30 he brought her back.

From what we heard the mother would prefer the girl to stay with us, the girl also told her mother so.

All I can do is wait and see and hope the father will move to the mother's village, soon.

[greenchair]

Update:

Sunday morning The father came at my place to take the little one to see his mother at the grandmother's place.

I was worried all day wondering what would happen, but at 17.30 he brought her back.

From what we heard the mother would prefer the girl to stay with us, the girl also told her mother so.

All I can do is wait and see and hope the father will move to the mother's village, soon.

Still sorry to say moving far away from the family is still best.

My stepdaughter is always welcome to come and see her son. But she never does because of the distance. I send pictures on the phone sometimes ,but not often. I am careful to send pics of my boy on his own so as not to cause jealous feelings.

Every now and then I go to meet her at the shopping mall and we all go to a movie and dinner.

In my experience, shutting the birth parents out hurts everybody including your child.

Letting them in to much also hurts everybody including the child. Find the balance.

But you should never be so near that any one of the family members can take at their convenience (and they will ).

The struggle will go on for years, and when she grows to be a troublesome child, they will dump her right on your doorstep.

MOVE.