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Farting


Vespa

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All you brave macho men who enjoy lettin' 'em rip......................

..........go to some of those dodgy hotels that offer buffet food...................

.......eat the re-heated fish pieces that are covered in a white sauce, or the re-heated beef covered in a thick gravy......................

...........wait until your stomach starts to rumble as the food with no use-by date enters your intestines.............

..........and THEN let 'em rip if you are still brave. :o

Before you do, please warn others to put on their rain coats. :D

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What a bunch of animals!

I rarely fart when in company and never when there are wimmin about :D

Impressive! So then while you're feeling bloated from the internal buildup of noxious or audible gasses, you prefer leaving all the floral-scented noise making to the ladies?

Of course a quick step outside to relieve the pressure can help. Rotten luck though if a group of ladies are out there just as you cut loose with a loud rapping one. No problem. Just go back and review some of the handy-dandy techniques to deal with such matters. You'll feel the confidence of farting like a pro no matter where you are.

:o

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When in bed I usually part my but cheeks this keeps it silent every time. My GF thinks its funny to pull the duvet up over my head before letting one rip.

I was watching TV laying on the sofa the other day when she bent over infront of me pretending to pick up some plates and let one rip on my face.

Some one taught her well

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Surprise

Involves the release of an SBD when you are alone on an elevator (lift). When the doors open at a crowded floor simply exit the lift as others get on. Feel secure knowing that the unexpected 'surprise' will likely rise to nose height of the trapped passengers as soon as the doors close.

AmeriThai you must have been visiting my condo building! Management has taken farting to elevated heights, it has decided to act against those that fart in elevators, it is now banned! A warning has been placed in the lift. Photo attached.... :o

post-5966-1158627445_thumb.jpg

Edited by bmanly
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Surprise

Involves the release of an SBD when you are alone on an elevator (lift). When the doors open at a crowded floor simply exit the lift as others get on. Feel secure knowing that the unexpected 'surprise' will likely rise to nose height of the trapped passengers as soon as the doors close.

AmeriThai you must have been visiting my condo building! Management has taken farting to elevated heights, it has decided to act against those that fart in elevators, it is now banned! A warning has been placed in the lift. Photo attached.... :o

post-5966-1158627445_thumb.jpg

Not a problem, just rely on the Escape Artist technique. No one will be the wiser and think it was someone else. In the meantime, you'll be long gone from the scene of the stench.

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When eating with friends, always blow the heavenly trumpet as loud as possible and immedeately look under the table with a frown/scowl for the offending dog. In terms and matters of the heart, an old UK penny is the key for a long term loving relationship. Brew up a good one in the nuptual bed as early as possible, stealthily place the old coin between the cheeks, let rip and if possible drop the penny on the tummy of the beloved. If she stands by you after that, laughs like a dray horse and insists on having a go herself, your long term happiness is assured.

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