Post A Punch-line

[suegha]

Here's the gen, Post a punch-line and see who can guess the joke. No rules, just punch-lines and guesses.

Here's the first one:

It's the cobblestones...

[kayo]

So martha and gene were walking down the street one day when gene said to martha, is it just me, or are your breasts larger...

no love.... It`s just the cobblestones...

Next:

My left pinkie

Edited September 26, 2006 by kayo

[steveromagnino]

Here's the gen, Post a punch-line and see who can guess the joke. No rules, just punch-lines and guesses.

Here's the first one:

It's the cobblestones...

One nun is riding back to the nunnery, and the mother superior yells out to her from the 2nd floor 'Sister O'Dell, hurry up, the Lord is waiting.'

Sister O'Dell calls back, 'don't wory Mother, I am coming as fast as I can.'

Mother Superior says, 'It's the cobblestones'.

OK...that is my best effort.

Here is my punchline.

'The Aristocrats.' - old punchline, with plenty of room for improvisation, similar to the line above.

[steveromagnino]

My left pinkie

Hmmmmm tough one.

ok.... here goes. And this is in no way casting aspersions on people who like feeling around other people's bottoms.

A certain bitter homophobe poster here on TV decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 100,000b at Yanhee, and feels quite proud of himself, sure that he will be able to secure more babes at Nana Plaza, and probably even some private university booty to boot.

After 3 days of recovery, on his way home he stops at 7:11 and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonald's for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29". "I am actually 47". This makes him feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop he sees another patient from the hospital, and despite hearing two opinions, he wants to be sure.

'Kit wah pom ah yoo tao rai na khun' he arrogantly asks the other patient.

'I can speak english yalon,' says the patient confidently. 'I am actually a spiritual guidance consullor and feng shui expert, pleed allow me to examine your body with my thermometer , as my extensive experience allows me to identify age to with +/- one year using body temperature calibrated with the aura coming off your soul na ka.'

The TV poster is a bit skeptical, but figures, what harm can it do, after all, he has to know whether this guy will think he is what age.

So he agrees, and the patient starts groping around, and seems to insert the thermometer into his bottom for around 10 minutes, moving it around from time to time.

Ten minutes later the patient says, "OK, it's done. You are 47." Stunned the man says, "That is amazingly brilliant! How did you do that?"

The man replies, "I was behind you in McDonalds. And that was no thermometer. That was my left pinky."

Thank you, I'll playing here at the casino all week, no cover charge.

[suegha]

Funny replies, don't get 'The Aristocrats.' anyone?

Here's another punch-line.

Two in the front, two in the back!

[game4shame]

scraping the barrel for topics these days!!!

[suegha]

scraping the barrel for topics these days!!!

Sorry, don't know this joke!

[kayo]

I reckon that m,angarino dude`s been smoking something funny....

[macb]

Funny replies, don't get 'The Aristocrats.' anyone?

Here's another punch-line.

Two in the front, two in the back!

'I told you it was possible' 'What is possible' ' Four elephants in a mini silly two in the front two in the back'

macb

[Vespa]

A gay Catholic priest gets a job teaching English in Bangkok !

[suegha]

A gay Catholic priest gets a job teaching English in Bangkok !

Anothere strange punch-line to a joke that I just don't know!

[steveromagnino]

Funny replies, don't get 'The Aristocrats.' anyone?

Here's another punch-line.

Two in the front, two in the back!

The aristocrats joke goes something like this.

Man walks into a casting house. Casting director says, ok what you got to show us.

Man says, OK I got an act for your show. I come out onto the stage. My wife comes out naked. Our chidren then come out with a wide range of fruit. They take turns inserting them in my anus, and I shoot them into my wifes mouth; she chews them, then swallows, then regurgitates the fruit into my son's mouth. He then poos, stirs it with the masticated fruit, and then uses a funnel and my daughter swallows the lot.

We then take turns at beating the daughter with a rod, and we pelt the son with rotten tomatos. Due to the arousing nature of the show, I then acheieve an erection, and my wife allows me to ejaculate semen into her hand, which she rubs in my sons face. Then as the grand finale, my son performs a dirty sanchez on my wife, while she is giving me oral, and my daughter is receiving some scat from me.

Absolutely shocked the casting director says.... oh mi god, that is the most foul and outrageous thing I have ever heard. So what do you call yourselves?

'The Aristocrats'

Obviously, the foulness prior to the punchline can be anything; apparently according to the film about it, Bob Saget tells it the best.

Two in the front, two in the back.....hmmmm.....

OK, here goes.

The British royal family are pulled over travelling through the south of Spain, by bandits. At the time, it would seem that they are going to lose everything, but unfortunately, both Camilla and Prince Edward have just bought large faberge eggs, and don't want them to be stolen.

Prince Edward quickly swallows his egg, and almost chokes, but in the robbery, is able to get away with losing his pride, his rolex and his pants. Afterwards, he proudly vomits it back up (I am big on bodily functions in jokes) and says to Camilla, 'one must be a royal to know how one can get away with robbery'.

Says Camilla, 'Well check this out; I have managed to avoid theft with not just 1 but 4 eggs!!!!'

Edward asks, 'how the hel_l did you do that?'

She Replies,' oh I hid them on my personage, knowing they wouldn't check my orifices; two in the front and two in the back'

wahahahaha ....NEXT!

[Backpack_thailand]

Punch Line:

"One is short, fat, has a moustache and smells of fish.. the other one's a walrus!"

Edited October 2, 2006 by Backpack_thailand

[suegha]

Right, the two in the front, two in the back punch-line:

How do you get four elephants in a mini?

However, well done on the imaginitive reply - bodily functions and all!

Here's another one:

I don't know, he was wearing a nylon stocking on his head.

[lampard10]

And that's who Siam Superfly really is..........................................

[suegha]

And that's who Siam Superfly really is..........................................

[Khun Yak]

Punch Line:

"One is short, fat, has a moustache and smells of fish.. the other one's a walrus!"

...I would love to raed the joke for this punchline. Anyone?

[Cigarette Burn]

It works with a turtle!

[Cigarette Burn]

Punch Line:

"One is short, fat, has a moustache and smells of fish.. the other one's a walrus!"

...I would love to raed the joke for this punchline. Anyone?

What is the difference between a walrus and an Essex girl? One is

wet, has a moustache and smells of fish - the other is a walrus!

[suegha]

Punch Line:

"One is short, fat, has a moustache and smells of fish.. the other one's a walrus!"

...I would love to raed the joke for this punchline. Anyone?

What is the difference between a walrus and an Essex girl? One is

wet, has a moustache and smells of fish - the other is a walrus!

[LaoPo]

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

STUDENT: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!!

and:

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today

that we didn't have 10 years ago.

WILLY: Me!!

and:

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid

mistakes in one day?

STUDENT: I get up early.

LaoPo

[Backpack_thailand]

Punch Line:

"One is short, fat, has a moustache and smells of fish.. the other one's a walrus!"

...I would love to raed the joke for this punchline. Anyone?

What is the difference between a walrus and an Essex girl? One is

wet, has a moustache and smells of fish - the other is a walrus!

Well done Cigarette Burn. You from Essex by any chance???

[suegha]

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

STUDENT: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!!

and:

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today

that we didn't have 10 years ago.

WILLY: Me!!

and:

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid

mistakes in one day?

STUDENT: I get up early.

LaoPo

Yo Laopo, I think you missed the point of the thread! Although these are funny...

[farangconnection]

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

STUDENT: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!!

and:

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today

that we didn't have 10 years ago.

WILLY: Me!!

and:

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid

mistakes in one day?

STUDENT: I get up early.

LaoPo

Yo Laopo, I think you missed the point of the thread! Although these are funny...

OK I'll do it for him.

1) George

2) Me

3) I get up early

[Khun Yak]

How about using names of TV members as punchline... of course respectfully

Thinking about

e.g. : Ijustwannateach

KY

[LaoPo]

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

STUDENT: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!!

and:

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today

that we didn't have 10 years ago.

WILLY: Me!!

and:

TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid

mistakes in one day?

STUDENT: I get up early.

LaoPo

Yo Laopo, I think you missed the point of the thread! Although these are funny...

Yes.....I realized that after posting..........

LaoPo

[suegha]

How about using names of TV members as punchline... of course respectfully

Thinking about

e.g. : Ijustwannateach

KY

Okay, how about...

...Khun Yak

[Khun Yak]

How about using names of TV members as punchline... of course respectfully

Thinking about

e.g. : Ijustwannateach

KY

Okay, how about...

...Khun Yak

I wouldn't mind, although using the rather "private" names as a punchline might offend someone - Ijustwannateach could be considered as a sentence - hence my suggestion.

Go ahead and tell me good joke with the punchline Khun Yak though.

[suegha]

How about using names of TV members as punchline... of course respectfully

Thinking about

e.g. : Ijustwannateach

KY

Okay, how about...

...Khun Yak

I wouldn't mind, although using the rather "private" names as a punchline might offend someone - Ijustwannateach could be considered as a sentence - hence my suggestion.

Go ahead and tell me good joke with the punchline Khun Yak though.

What do you call a wind-up merchant?

Here's another punch-line...

Kayo

[kayo]

Yo Laopo, I think you missed the point of the thread! Although these are funny...

OK I'll do it for him.

1) George

2) Me

3) I get up early

:D Nice one Lampy!

Dam.n, I think the tiger has it in for me.

I'm not the one who brought up your age man. You just assumed. One should never ASSUME.

you'll only make an ASS of U and ME.... Or a donkey... Or a tiger.... or....

Annyho's ....

Life moves on, and we got Khun Yak... = KY

Mr bojangles = BJ

Farang connection = FC

Khall = Fetish Princess

Patsycat = the obvious aside, aside, we'll go with her melons.

Totster = He'll give you all manual pleasure

add your own folks.

BTW Dr. PP Is charging Bar at the Door.