Ladies - Support Required

[Disco]

Hi Laides

It's taken a long time to post this (the few drinkie poo's helps a tad to say the least), but it's all starting to go tits up for me.....Been married to a Thai guy for many years, but it's not looking good to say the least. While my girls outside Thailand try to be supportive they don't fully understand the cultural differences and I don't want to involve those close friends who have thai partners cos I don't want people to put in a difficult sittuation....so catch 22...

[Sheryl]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. We're here to lend a sympathetic ear and moral support...so vent away!

You are going to need your friends all the more if your marriage breaks up so I would suggest you go ahead and confide in the close friends you referred to. You can do that without asking them to take sides, if that is what concerns you.

Chin up!!!

[fruittbatt]

If I can help, I will: located in Chiang Mai. Please feel free to PM me or to post any relevant info to all on this thread. As Sheryl has said, stay strong, and know you are among sympathetic women here.

[eljeque]

As mother would say:

Make sure that you have enough money to take care of yourself in Thailand or to return home.

Don't worry about leaving things behind that are not of great importance.

There are more fish in the sea.

[sbk]

Hi Disco, sorry to hear things aren't working out. If you feel the need to talk, but don't want to do so openly you are welcome to PM me.

I, too, am married to a Thai man. Happily, fortunately, but you are right, it is difficult to involve other farang women who are married to Thais. I have seen the dissolution of a few friends marriages. But, luckily for me, my husband is capable of seeing the difference between a decent guy whose marriage doesn't work out and a sh!theel who treats his wife like dirt.

Good luck to you and remember to take care of yourself!

[Disco]

Hi All

Thanks for your messages (and pm's from meme) was having a bit of a bad day yesterday and feeling sorry for myself

Had a long chat with one of my BF's from Farang land and feel much better (under the circumstances), your support is v. much appreciated

[meme]

Hi All

Thanks for your messages (and pm's from meme) was having a bit of a bad day yesterday and feeling sorry for myself

Had a long chat with one of my BF's from Farang land and feel much better (under the circumstances), your support is v. much appreciated

Girl friends can be the best medicine! Glad to hear you are feeling better.

Take care,

Meme.

[Bellatrix]

Sorry to hear things aren't looking good, I hope they work out whichever way is best for you.

In the mean time, do a google image search of ducklings, that always helps me!

[MiG16]

disco...I do hope you are doing ok? let us know if u need some venting or if theres anything else we might be able to help with

stay strong

a hug.......

[Disco]

disco...I do hope you are doing ok? let us know if u need some venting or if theres anything else we might be able to help with

stay strong

a hug.......

Hi Girls

Thanks for checking up on me, to be quite honest I was more than a little embarrassed that I'd made a post in the 1st place (not very good at sharing this kind of stuff) and then I saw a post saying that maybe these kind of posts were from Trollers......

Anyway, no word from said husband, still gutted, know I have to move on, but as I didn't have any control over the situation it makes me feel pretty pants to say the least....really thought it would last and last.....blah, blah, blah

I need to keep myself busy so have enrolled at Chulongkorn University for the Intensive Thai Program starting 8th Jan which I was going to do anyway but have just moved it forward. This means moving to Bangkok and trying to start all over again but hey, I gotta start somewhere.

Don't suppose any of you know how I can find out about apartment/house share? I hate living on my own and am looking at the high end of the market so any advice would be appreciated.

Then of course, there's the visa renewal, which I can't do without my husband. Home is/was (not so sure at the moment) on one of the Islands which means having to immigration every month for 5-6 months with my husband before they give me the 1 year renewal so that's out of the question it seems....is there are visa agency that I could pay to arrange it for me without having to take my husband. I'm a bit p'd off as I managed to get him the farangland passport and whole 9 yards....

Wish I could be stronger, normally I am but this has just turned my whole life upside down. When it 1st happened I couldn't eat, sleep, think or generally do anything, it was just hard to even breathe but now I try not to think about it as much as possible. There's still times when it just overwhelms me and sometimes it's at really inappropriate time. The people at work (currently working in another part of Asia) don't know and most of the people on the Islands in Thailand always ask where my husband is so it's always in my face...

I have bad PMS at the moment so maybe just feeling worse, I have however been using this as excuse to consume as many free chocolate truffles at the hotel as possible

[girlx]

it might sound silly but you should try taking a yoga course while you are in bangkok too. yoga has helped me deal with stress in an amazing way. i learned tantra yoga, which isn't as sleazy or sex-oriented as it has a reputation for being in the west, but rather is combined with a lot of intensive meditation and breathing. works wonders. i know there is a good one near chitlom, yoga elements i think it is?

[Disco]

it might sound silly but you should try taking a yoga course while you are in bangkok too. yoga has helped me deal with stress in an amazing way. i learned tantra yoga, which isn't as sleazy or sex-oriented as it has a reputation for being in the west, but rather is combined with a lot of intensive meditation and breathing. works wonders. i know there is a good one near chitlom, yoga elements i think it is?

That's a great idea, thanx, I shall try all ideas posted here. The yoga will also help to eliminate said chocolate truffle overdose as well

p.s. think I may be turning into Bridget Jones.......

[sbk]

disco, do you have any children? there is a possibility of extension based on caring for one's Thai children. Check the visas forum for more info if applicable.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out, hopefully you can get your life sorted and carry on with a minimum of difficulty

[Sheryl]

it might sound silly but you should try taking a yoga course while you are in bangkok too. yoga has helped me deal with stress in an amazing way. i learned tantra yoga, which isn't as sleazy or sex-oriented as it has a reputation for being in the west, but rather is combined with a lot of intensive meditation and breathing. works wonders. i know there is a good one near chitlom, yoga elements i think it is?

That's a great idea, thanx, I shall try all ideas posted here. The yoga will also help to eliminate said chocolate truffle overdose as well

p.s. think I may be turning into Bridget Jones.......

In a similar vein, I highly recommend a Vipassana meditation retreat. Offered twice a month at an excellent facility in Prachinburi. If you are interested go to website www.dhamma.org for general information, for the Thailand schedule click on Asia then Prachinburi, Thailand.

It will give you a whole new perspective and start.

[sparkle]

I am very sorry for you. The same happened to me (including breathing problems, sudden homelessness and all). I just hope that your in-laws don't make your life more miserable - as was the case with me. For me it helped to tell myself I was at a low point of my life. So I did not fight feeling miserable, but now things are improving. I so much hope the best for you.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

disco, do you have any children? there is a possibility of extension based on caring for one's Thai children. Check the visas forum for more info if applicable.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out, hopefully you can get your life sorted and carry on with a minimum of difficulty

It is the same as a visa for a guy married to a Thai. New regulations are 40,000 baht per month income, and formal evidence of parenthood.

[Disco]

I am very sorry for you. The same happened to me (including breathing problems, sudden homelessness and all). I just hope that your in-laws don't make your life more miserable - as was the case with me. For me it helped to tell myself I was at a low point of my life. So I did not fight feeling miserable, but now things are improving. I so much hope the best for you.

Well Ladies

It never rains but only pours.......

Your gonna like this, I've just been told that due to corporate cost reduction requirements I've lost my contract and have only been given 2 weeks notice......

Absolutely bl**dy fantastically marvelous……

p.s. If I was a troll I couldn’t make this stuff up….

[bina]

dr. pp where did u get this 'new' requirement info from....

sorry disco ....

bina and anon

[sbk]

bina, this is for supporting Thai children, it is not the same if you are married to a Thai man. No income requirements there.

That is terrible, disco, a cliche, but true, it never rains but it pours. My sympathies.

[donna]

oh disco. you poor love. i cant say how sorry i am for you with all of this sh!t going on in your life at the moment.

you know, sometimes everything happens for a reason. maybe someone is actually looking after you by ending your contract and before you know it another door may just open.

try to deal with the immediate devastation you must be feeling today, put out the feelers for new work, and talk to your HR department. you never know. maybe there is something bigger and better than what you have now just waiting for you.

easy to say, i know, but look ahead at what life is yet to offer you rather than dwelling on the crap that it has dealt you at the moment.

storms dont last forever. and after the rains finish, there is a lot of new, lovely growth.

[nonthaburial]

sad story made worse by loss of income. been there got the T Shirt, but one piece of advice if I may. Do not let your life spiral out of control. Keep away from the booze and focus on stopping the spiral.

You dont mention your work history but if you were legally employed then you are entitled to severence pay. For example over 3 years work entitles you to 180 days salary on severence. Check it out please !

[bendix]

You dont mention your work history but if you were legally employed then you are entitled to severence pay. For example over 3 years work entitles you to 180 days salary on severence. Check it out please !

Wow . is that true? Does it even apply to people on a contract, and the contract isnt renewed. I think Disco mentioned she was on a contract.

Sympathies to the OP. Tough break.

I know this is cynical, but as a farang woman married to a Thai guy, arent you able to automatically apply for citizenship or PR? Small consolation i know, but it would be one issue resolved if you could pull it off while you're still legally married.

[meme]

oh disco. you poor love. i cant say how sorry i am for you with all of this sh!t going on in your life at the moment.

you know, sometimes everything happens for a reason. maybe someone is actually looking after you by ending your contract and before you know it another door may just open.

try to deal with the immediate devastation you must be feeling today, put out the feelers for new work, and talk to your HR department. you never know. maybe there is something bigger and better than what you have now just waiting for you.

easy to say, i know, but look ahead at what life is yet to offer you rather than dwelling on the crap that it has dealt you at the moment.

storms dont last forever. and after the rains finish, there is a lot of new, lovely growth.

Good post I agree. Oh Disco I am sorry, but really its gotta get worse before it gets better right? Sorry for another cliche, but this will be a time that you look back on later and are so happy you rose above it all. For the time being take care of yourself, keep in contact with your friends, cry, scream, laugh what ever helps. I hope you have good support from your family and friends. All the best to you and keep us updated, support is just a click away.

[Disco]

Hi All

I hope you won't mind all the posts coming up, but as you've all taken the time to read this and reply, I think it's the very least I can do.....

Thx all

[Disco]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. We're here to lend a sympathetic ear and moral support...so vent away!

You are going to need your friends all the more if your marriage breaks up so I would suggest you go ahead and confide in the close friends you referred to. You can do that without asking them to take sides, if that is what concerns you.

Chin up!!!

Hi Sheryl

Thx for your message. Your right of course, you need your friends but I'm not very good at sharing such details, probably too proud for my own good, but like I say, it probably helped that I'd had a couple (!!) of vino's. I'm used to being with a supportive husband and normally others come to us for advice...so by even admitting there was a problem was a problem in itself...head in sand type of approach which is really bizarre as I normally tacle things head on....in fact am rather well known for it in a nice way of course....

Anway thanks for you reply it was to be the start.....

[Disco]

If I can help, I will: located in Chiang Mai. Please feel free to PM me or to post any relevant info to all on this thread. As Sheryl has said, stay strong, and know you are among sympathetic women here.

Hi Fruittbatt

Thnx to you as well. As I say I am starting new life in Bangkok (for now) and the only time I have travelled to your part of the country is with my husband, so maybe it will be a good time to arrange a TV or ladies evening sometime in the New Year to catch up...hopefully by then I will have lots of good news...but then again with my luck I might just have a few more stories to tell (hopefully none of them caused by loss of skin through drinking injuries as should be more mature than that by now

Thx again xx

[girlx]

actually it seems like fate to me- you weren't meant to be with this guy, you weren't meant to stay in thailand... it's really exciting really!

[Disco]

As mother would say:

Make sure that you have enough money to take care of yourself in Thailand or to return home.

Don't worry about leaving things behind that are not of great importance.

There are more fish in the sea.

Hi Elijeque

'Home' is Thailand....even before I was with my future husband, I knew Thailand would be my home, I've just got to get my head round things and maybe it will still be home (cos nowhere else is in comparison)

Easy to say more fish in the sea, but is it possible to love that much and it's taken away from you that you will find it again or it doesn't really provide you with the baggage you promised yourself you would never carry.....

Thanks again for taking the time to reply

[November Rain]

Disco,

I know how you feel about Thailand being your home. My boyfriend died, so I haven't got the same problems as you (from having my marriage break down before, I know that the constant "can we try again, am I doing the right thing?" feeling is a big problem, and that isn't an option when someone dies)

However, being here, reminds me constantly of him and it can be really hard. But I wouldn't be anywhere else. Congratulations on having enrolled on your course & positively going ahead with your life, whatever the outcome with your marriage may be. You're obviously a strong lady. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide. Good luck

[Disco]

Hi Disco, sorry to hear things aren't working out. If you feel the need to talk, but don't want to do so openly you are welcome to PM me.

the the start

I, too, am married to a Thai man. Happily, fortunately, but you are right, it is difficult to involve other farang women who are married to Thais. I have seen the dissolution of a few friends marriages. But, luckily for me, my husband is capable of seeing the difference between a decent guy whose marriage doesn't work out and a sh!theel who treats his wife like dirt.

Good luck to you and remember to take care of yourself!

Hi SBK

I don't think (Island wise) that we are that far apart, in fact we probably know some of the same people between us!! Yes, I hope to think I married the right person who, for whatever reasons, took a different path and therefore had a huge impact on my life. I've asked my friends in Farangland what they thought about said husband when we 1st had difficulties hoping not to to hear "I told you so" and in fact everyone from all different walks of life were absoloutly gobsmacked when I told them, so that made me feel a lot better (well, sorta of , you know what I mean). Maybe it would've been easier if he was a b@#$%d from the start...but then I would've never gone out with him let alone married him...

Thanks again SBK xxx