Poh jai, Mae jai, poh, loong?

[Kenny202]

At a loss here what to call people sometimes and the missus no help....yes, no, maybe.

When I first got here kids would refer to me as poh jai (grandfather) and I'd be quiet offended (I'm 52). My missus told me it didn't mean they thought I was old but that it was the highest form of respect. But then one day I called a lady here who would be maybe 10 years older than me Mae jai (very well respected teacher) and my missus said not a good idea because it would mean I thought she was old. Are these terms a sign of respect ie recognizing a person's higher or equal status or is it about age? Maybe all of the above. For eg the man next door is older than me 72yo. Lovely guy, ex teacher, wonderful family and IMHO worthy of respect. He's obviously not old enough to be my grandfather but should I call him that, or uncle or poh?

[Jeddah Jo]

Poh jaa would be a cute way for kids to call a father like figure. The jaa particle is something kids or women would use and is quite effeminate.

A teacher has a higher status and are normally referred to as kru or Kuhn kru. You might get away with Kuhn Mae but that's a bit informal too. Basically it is a nightmare and if you don't know what you are really saying then best steer clear.

[HooHaa]

Why would you call your neighbor grand father or father.

Call him by his name, throw a khun in font of it. You may want to call him pi, as he is older.

It really isn't that complicated.

[sipi]

I don't think it bothers them so much as we are ignorant farang. I called my Mum-in-law "Mar" for ages until my wife asked me "Why do you call Mum a dog?".

[villagefarang]

It is a flexible system so your wife is correct. You won't be able to find an easy answer which fits all people all the time. If you are uncertain how someone would like to be addressed, why not ask them? Even Thais have to ask questions to figure out how they should address each other when they first meet.

[andrew55]

I don't think it bothers them so much as we are ignorant farang. I called my Mum-in-law "Mar" for ages until my wife asked me "Why do you call Mum a dog?".

Or horse... Or 'come here'...