Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Thailand News and Discussion Forum | ASEANNOW

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Up to you!

Featured Replies

How many times have you heard that and how do you handle it?

I was supposed to go with a mate on a three day trip recently and yet he pulled out at the last moment when he asked the mrs if she's ok with it and got the old up to you routine. I asked why it's only a golf trip but he just said he didn't want to upset the apple cart so he missed out and the rest of us enjoyed.

I'm not sure whether up to you is just a saying or an ultimatum as it has never affected me but on this occasion it sure affected him.

So why didn't your mate go on the trip.?

It was up to him.

Does, up to you,have a different meaning if you are married?

How many times have i heard it.

Every day i get told the same !! up to you !!

It drives me crazy. Whats for dinner darling up to you, what you want.

When an i get in to my wheelchair, up to you, no its not i cannot do it without assistance.

So how is it up to me??

If a mate regularly uses 'up to you', she probably with doesn't much care what hubby does and likewise may not enjoy his company all that much or she may be a traditional type of Thai woman who wants the man to make decisions. She may find it rather unattractive that the man is in effect asking permission

Edited by PaullyW

If it is up to me, I act accordingly. If the other person is not pleased with that I say that it was up to me and therefor I made my decision, and to stop complaining. I don't like those "up to you games", and if someone wants me to play they will discover that I take it just like it sounds. There are some fast-learners with this method.

I use it to wind my Mrs up, playfully...

"Which shirt should I wear Darling?"

"Up to you"

"Should I have a coffee?"

"Up to you"

"Should I go to the toilet?"

"Give me a break Sipi"

  • Author

All he told me hedgehog is she might not be to happy if he went.

I thought it's a little bit of emotional blackmail because if he did go those three little lines would have been on his mind the whole trip.

Bit weak on both their parts for mine. One for saying it and the other for not calling the bluff. Whether there was something else behind it I don't know.

Well it's better than her saying. Do what you want you fat bald headed ATM. Isn't it????

A a "golf" trip.. messing around with caddies and such. I can understand that his Mrs was not happy. cheesy.gif

No one in their right mind would go on a real golf trip that is almost as boring as lifting weights.

'Up to You'

Translation... It's not up to you, I've already decided what answer I require, you had better respond correctly.

Of course whether you wish to play those games..

'Up to you'

Up to you depends on the situation.. At it's most serious, its like when a Western woman says "Go ahead" and you know it's a challenge, not permission. I think that's what the Op:s mate was getting.

Sent from my SMART_4G_Speedy_5inch using Tapatalk

She is testing you to see if you can make the right decision to meet both of your needs, she wants you to feel like you are the boss but at the same time being aware of her feelings and needs and respecting them

Come on people it's a well known Bar girl phrase. Been used since at least 1972 first time I came.

How many times have i heard it.

Every day i get told the same !! up to you !!

It drives me crazy. Whats for dinner darling up to you, what you want.

When an i get in to my wheelchair, up to you, no its not i cannot do it without assistance.

So how is it up to me??

If you're hearing that every day, your wife might be becoming somewhat indifferent to you.

Maybe make more of an effort to inject some fun into your marriage

Never, as my teerak insisted on learning Dutch ASAP when she immigrated to here. In the beginning I'd would fall back on English sometimes but she would not be amused. In Dutch she'd rarely ask me tell me "up to you" (dat moet je zelf weten) just as I would rarely tell her. If asking the other on what cloths would match best or what would be the best choice of activity to pick we'd talk about it and give eachother a normal answer with motivations or other feedback.

Up to you rarely is an approperiate answer, if usee often I'd start wonder if both partners are seriously investing in the relationship or if they are moving apart and becomming indifferent to eachother. So how I would handle this if I heard it on a daily basis? I'd be concerned about my relationship. If you got "up to you" s from day one I'd wonder if your partner either really is invested in a genuine love relationship or if the partner might not be the most brightest person around and lacking the ability to motivate preferences. The one couple I know, atleast from what I can tell, with an "up to you" relationship seems to both lack passion and she is a bit simple... Not a bad person but not really spouse material either, good luck trying to be with a person which you cannot talk with for hours, have normal discussions are getting the brains together to solve or do something.

For those who are more into a "take care" relationship (to each his/her own, askong as you are happy) who isn't too bothered with lack of real talks: perhaps a lot of "mai pen rai's" will di the trick: "Darling shall I *activity*?" , darling: "up to you" reply with "oh mai pen rai" abd do whatever you want and be generous with mai pen rais in all other situations. :P

Edited by Donutz

Couple of ways to interpret it,

"You make the choice and if it goes wrong its not my fault"

" you can decide , I hate making decisions"

"you decide, but choose wisely"

"Not my place to tell you what to do, you are the head of the house, its your decision to make not mine"

All depends on the circumstances really, but usually one of the above fits.smile.png

Tone, facial expression and eye contact will tell you more clearly, but usually that depends on how well you know your partner, sometimes "a look" is all that's needed and speaks volumes !

 

‘Im missing “Up to you, you and I are both adults so I think you are very much capable of making your own decisions” and “Up to you, stop nagging me with stupid questions, you’re such an dek noi”.

Head of the household? Sounds a bit old fashioned. I’d be hoping for a “we are both equally responsible but you don’t need my permission for everything” .

here is 5000 baht honey you want to go shopping... up to you.

I've heard it so many times from many different people that I now say it myself, just to piss people off.

Edited by Rayk

Use it a few times on Thais and judger there reaction. My Gf doesnt like it.

Use it a few times on Thais and judger there reaction. My Gf doesnt like it.

I've done this, it shuts them up immediately. They don't like it either.

I just started saying to the GF, I never hear it now...

sorry, this sounds a little like what happened with my neighbor and i awhile back.
turns out it was a control issue between us. i had things to do, and he wanted me to do something else.

lets remove the gf from the equation altogether, since that's not really your business, right?

Edited by fey

She is right.she's asking you to think about it as she does'nt realise the situation & also the expat is scared she's gonna do short time while he's away

She is right.she's asking you to think about it as she does'nt realise the situation & also the expat is scared she's gonna do short time while he's away

Which of course they will anyway. So up to you

I stopped worrying about it years ago. It used to pee me off but then, I made the decision that, if everything is up to me.....I will just do whatever the hell it is I want!

So why didn't your mate go on the trip.?

It was up to him.

Does, up to you,have a different meaning if you are married?

------------------------------------

Oh yes, to a Thai woman, "up to you" has a very different meaning if you are married or even in a "serious relationship" as girlfriend and boyfriend.

It can also mean to a Thai woman, "watch your a--, your about to cross the line, buddy".

I know, I've been there.

What you choose to do then is (English meaning) "up to you".....as in your choice.

Edited by IMA_FARANG

So why didn't your mate go on the trip.?

It was up to him.

Does, up to you,have a different meaning if you are married?

------------------------------------

Oh yes, to a Thai woman, "up to you" has a very different meaning if you are married or even in a "serious relationship" as girlfriend and boyfriend.

It can also mean to a Thai woman, "watch your a--, your about to cross the line, buddy".

I know, I've been there.

What you choose to do then is (English meaning) "up to you".....as in your choice.

All this for 3 words if you wild have stood up to them when you met each other instead of thinking with your manhood. Those 3 words would have no meaning you all seem to think it's some kind of warning. Rubish as I've said before its bar girl words. "Do you want to go back to hotel with me "up to you". No deep meaning how much "up to you" if you have let your women issue ultimates like the op's mate your fault I suggest you grow some

Create an account or sign in to comment

Recently Browsing 0

  • No registered users viewing this page.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.