I have to say, the Pub has never been in a more thriving state. Only seven active topics at the moment from the resident genius, and by no surprise every single one is an absolute intellectual triumph. This is what a thriving forum looks like. Einstein unleashed! Where else can you spend the morning pondering whether some long forgotten minger from the telly is still capable of inspiring romantic feelings, move seamlessly into the emotional frustrations of dogs, investigate the crushing burden of having to bathe and shave your bait and tackle once you become a geriatric, and finish the day conducting survival research on a small fictional reptile spotted in a bathroom during an LSD flashback? It is almost overwhelming. The intellectual breadth is extraordinary. Really, what more could anyone possibly want? And the depth. My God. These are not the sort of shallow, disposable subjects that merely encourage people to exchange opinions. Nah. These are the questions humanity has been waiting centuries to answer. Does the dog actually give a toss about us? How long can a small lizard survive without water? And at what point does taking a shower become such an intolerable burden that an insufferable seventy year old geezer needs to investigate the going rate for having someone drive a motorbike to his house and attempt to remove his daglocks with a power washer? This is serious intellectual territory. Frankly, I almost feel embarrassed remembering the old Pub, when people used to discuss Asia, travel, bar tarts, local irony and other horribly conventional subjects that might actually interest more than three people. How primitive we were??? Thankfully, all that tedious nonsense has now been replaced by something far more sophisticated. We have reached a higher plane of intellectual existence where minging toenails, the loathing of personal hygiene, imaginary lizards and obscure television personalities can all coexist in one magnificent intellectual wasteland. And the best part is that there is apparently nobody else around to interrupt it. Seven topics. Seven masterpieces. The genuine golden age of forum cognitive collapse. Long may this glorious decline continue.
