Age Gaps In Relationships

[Poverty Packer]

I'm curious to know how many people still believe in love, especially when we're talking about 15, 20, 25 or 30 years of age gap.

I'm talking about love, the real deal; a relationship where both lovers are completely very much in-love with each other, happy, contented; one that's very nurturing where couples connect mentally, shares a lot of jokes, phone calls, lots of intimacy, conversations, etc. I'm talking about a real relationship, but one plagued with an age gap. Do you think a relationship like this is for keeps? Do you think a relationship like this still exists?

(I am not talking about the different kind of love which exploits a partner in one way or another, love with benefits, broken wings, etc. I do not condemn people who believe or practic this kind of relationship. This thread is not written to condemn.......)

I'm curious to know how many people in ThaiVisa still believe in love and how far these beliefs go.

You have to ask yourself, would these women marry the farangs here in Thailand if they met them on an equal footing in thier own country. The answer in is NO they would not. The reality is they would not even get a second glance.

But then again, Thailand has the best love money can buy

That is a pretty good summarization of the situation here. Thai women want very much to be together with a farang as in 90% of cases it would likely lead to a much more promising future financially. If I were to go for a Thai woman (and I do not), I'd exploit the benefit as much as I could, which would be enjoying the biggest age gap possible. What is puzzling to me is those farangs who have partners close in age or young farangs who chose Thai partners over farangs. This is something that flat out makes no sense to me at all. So carry on old timers with your 20+ younger thai women. You are the most normal people around

[Simbo]

My wife is 20, I'm 62, and I'm sitting this one out.

[tropo]

Maybe I'm a baby compared to you and most of the old boys who do marry girls half there age but there are plenty of young men who are married here in Thailand. Well have to wait and see how it works out in 30 years time but one thing is for sure im never going to regret having my baby boy and ill never regret marrying my wife for the simple fact that it gives my son his British Nationality and will make things easier for him in the future. If it doesnt work out divorce is hardly a complicated matter over here. Then ill look for a new partner what ever part fo the world she may come from. As for ageing, shes 26 years old now and doesnt look a day over 18. Thai women dont age like western women, I know plenty of 46 year old women who are beautifull. Some 30 year olds over here look in there teens.

You'll never appreciate the benefits of an Asian woman unless you've been around the block a few times with a white chick. What's a young guy like you doing coming to Thailand to marry?

Regarding looks, I'd have to disagree, I find Asian women look fine up until about 25/30, and then go down hill real fast....but if we're buying them, as most of the posters here like to point out, it's easy to trade one in on a newer model....especially as I don't believe in marriage. Business is business right?

Bring on the flames!

Edited December 15, 2006 by tropo

[tropo]

My wife is 20, I'm 62, and I'm sitting this one out.

You're lucky, she's just turned adult so VanZam will spare you the pedophile accusations. I missed out by a year, she's only 19 so I'm mentally ill.

[terry57]

Maybe I'm a baby compared to you and most of the old boys who do marry girls half there age but there are plenty of young men who are married here in Thailand. Well have to wait and see how it works out in 30 years time but one thing is for sure im never going to regret having my baby boy and ill never regret marrying my wife for the simple fact that it gives my son his British Nationality and will make things easier for him in the future. If it doesnt work out divorce is hardly a complicated matter over here. Then ill look for a new partner what ever part fo the world she may come from. As for ageing, shes 26 years old now and doesnt look a day over 18. Thai women dont age like western women, I know plenty of 46 year old women who are beautifull. Some 30 year olds over here look in there teens.

You'll never appreciate the benefits of an Asian woman unless you've been around the block a few times with a white chick. What's a young guy like you doing coming to Thailand to marry?

Regarding looks, I'd have to disagree, I find Asian women look fine up until about 25/30, and then go down hill real fast....but if we're buying them, as most of the posters here like to point out, it's easy to trade one in on a newer model....especially as I don't believe in marriage. Business is business right?

Bring on the flames!

cricky's mate,

got to be careful what you say as you will upset a few people and god forbid that.

[tropo]

Maybe I'm a baby compared to you and most of the old boys who do marry girls half there age but there are plenty of young men who are married here in Thailand. Well have to wait and see how it works out in 30 years time but one thing is for sure im never going to regret having my baby boy and ill never regret marrying my wife for the simple fact that it gives my son his British Nationality and will make things easier for him in the future. If it doesnt work out divorce is hardly a complicated matter over here. Then ill look for a new partner what ever part fo the world she may come from. As for ageing, shes 26 years old now and doesnt look a day over 18. Thai women dont age like western women, I know plenty of 46 year old women who are beautifull. Some 30 year olds over here look in there teens.

You'll never appreciate the benefits of an Asian woman unless you've been around the block a few times with a white chick. What's a young guy like you doing coming to Thailand to marry?

Regarding looks, I'd have to disagree, I find Asian women look fine up until about 25/30, and then go down hill real fast....but if we're buying them, as most of the posters here like to point out, it's easy to trade one in on a newer model....especially as I don't believe in marriage. Business is business right?

Bring on the flames!

cricky's mate,

got to be careful what you say as you will upset a few people and god forbid that.

It's gone way past being nice. I've been labelled "mentally ill", "a pedophile", "a pervert" and generally a sick mother f**ker on this thread, so no more holding back.

[Poverty Packer]

i still think when the gap is 2 times that of the other partner..things become too difficult...you have less in common on all respect..

a younger woman might get some financial security from the older man, but I cant imagine a guy 60 yrs old, would want to change nappies, waking up in the middle of the night etc to look after babies and other such things

and im talking in general, not specific about thailand, where maybe a limited number of retired farang might find a young wife...where either you can get nannies, or the extended family help look after the baby.

but more specific..I think the different perspective, tastes and lifestyle which result from the HUGE gap makes for less of shared interest.....

but thats just my opinion. I have dated somewhat older men...(8-10yrs), but have also dated younger men (5yrs..which felt huge at the time since he was 22) and yes sure different people are at varying maturity level even at the same age..and that plays a role...but when its a diff of say 30 years....your social circle and peers also add to the pressure of the relationship. can most 20something take their 60 yr old BF to a hip hop bar with a crowd of mates on a friday night?

Well I could see the 60 y/o joining them to go to the hip hop bar as long as he could bring sledge hammers and other implements of destruction to be used on the DJ equipment

[Poverty Packer]

47 year old with a 19 year old.. yeah sorry but I consider that pedophilia plain and simple.

You're dating a teenage kid.

We don't date, we live together in a serious relationship.

There's really no need to apologize as yours is exactly the attitude we get from older married couples. You've summed it up in a nutshell...I find it amusing.

You really should check a dictionary though and learn the meaning of Pedophilia as you are way off the mark..."plain and simple".

Nothing wrong with what you are doing. When I am your age, may I be doing the same.

[jamman]

[quote name='tropo' post='1033736'

It's gone way past being nice. I've been labelled "mentally ill", "a pedophile", "a pervert" and generally a sick mother f**ker on this thread, so no more holding back.

It's just territorial postering. You are the greyback. The upstarts don't want you there.

There are 1000 ways to say "Stay away from my resource, Mr. Outsider."

Edited December 15, 2006 by jamman

[Poverty Packer]

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with VanDam here.

I've known older guys(in the 30/40s) marry girls in their teens. Disaster for the girl in every one.

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

There are a few Thai guys with their 'mia dek' but that doesn't make it right. Good song - 'mia dek' by pongsak Songsaen, but if yo listen to the words it's pretty sick.

It's not right for me to judge the 50 year old farang with the 18 year old Thai girl, but I can't help wanting to vomit at the sight. The guy is not looking for a relationship - he's a pervert. On the other hand I've know 70 year olds with 40 year olds and that's fine. A 40 year old Thai woman is like a 60 year old in my country.

Childhood is precious - leave the kids alone!

Tropo has a good thing going and is being very very smart about it to by not even considering marriage. Good job Tropo, I think you represent why the bulk of farangs come here and enter into relationships. I think ones who don't live in a world high on the misery index

[Donz]

I think is wrong, When i was in Phuket with my gf and old bloke about 60 years old tried to pick up me gf, My gf started to tell him off, like asif he would have a chance with her.

If I have a daughter and when she reaches 20, if a old bloke tries to pick her up there will be hel_l to pay.

Its worng, its as simple as that

[Simbo]

My wife is 20, I'm 62, and I'm sitting this one out.

You're lucky, she's just turned adult so VanZam will spare you the pedophile accusations. I missed out by a year, she's only 19 so I'm mentally ill.

Yes. but she was 18 when I married her. we now have a 10 month old daughter.

And we are happy.

[Donz]

Mostly a big age differnece is someone with money taking advantage of someone with no money in Thailand.

I believe its not fair, but life isnt fair so these things will happend

[Don Quixote]

Yeah what would I know, I'm just a lowly psychologist.

Funny though that many of the reference books I have don't back up your point of view, I'd better write to the authors, they are obviously wrong.

You defend my use of the word "child" which is simply a matter of opinion, yet don't dispute the clinical definition.

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

Spot an VanZam.

Tropo you should be ashamed of yourself.

[Billfo]

Mostly a big age differnece is someone with money taking advantage of someone with no money in Thailand.

I believe its not fair, but life isnt fair so these things will happend

I assume you mean an older western guy with a younger thai lady. But what if its the other way round? Older Thai girl with a younger western bloke?

[Donz]

Mostly a big age differnece is someone with money taking advantage of someone with no money in Thailand.

I believe its not fair, but life isnt fair so these things will happend

I assume you mean an older western guy with a younger thai lady. But what if its the other way round? Older Thai girl with a younger western bloke?

I still would feel the same

[Ulysses G.]

If he were a psychologist, he wouldn't be making up fake definitions for mental conditions.

Maybe a BS Artist would be a better job description?

Fake definitions? I'd suggest you actually look them up before trying to prove me wrong. Just becasue you don't agree with me does not make you correct by defualt.

Here's one I prepared earlier.

I have already researched the term which is why I knew that you made up your definition.

I will give you this though; the definition in your link pretty much covers the kind of person who would lie so blatantly about something so easy to look up. A Freudian slip perhaps?

[spectrum]

I think the "daughter" factor is important.

If you'd feel uncomfortable seeing your daughter with a certain man, would the reverse not apply to you ?

Also, would you not prefer your daughter was educated and self-sufficient enough not to need to live with / marry / rely on a man - or woman - of any age, ever ?

Wouldn't the desirable situation be that she could do so because she chose to, knowing she had other options, and knowing she could take care of herself if the relationship did not work out ?

The same would apply to a son, of course. Would you like to see your son living with a man for purely financial reasons and knowing he lacked the education and self-sufficiency to take care of himself ?

Edited December 15, 2006 by spectrum

[Poverty Packer]

I think is wrong, When i was in Phuket with my gf and old bloke about 60 years old tried to pick up me gf, My gf started to tell him off, like asif he would have a chance with her.

If I have a daughter and when she reaches 20, if a old bloke tries to pick her up there will be hel_l to pay.

Its worng, its as simple as that

The fact of the matter is that a perception exists among farang men that all Thai women are up for grabs and in 90% of the cases it is true. Thus if you have a Thai gf or wife and some farang hits on her then deal with it

[Jared]

You'll never appreciate the benefits of an Asian woman unless you've been around the block a few times with a white chick. What's a young guy like you doing coming to Thailand to marry?

Regarding looks, I'd have to disagree, I find Asian women look fine up until about 25/30, and then go down hill real fast....but if we're buying them, as most of the posters here like to point out, it's easy to trade one in on a newer model....especially as I don't believe in marriage. Business is business right?

Bring on the flames!

Mate im 24 and Ive had girlfriends for as long as I can remember. I was with the same girl from 14 to 18, being young had several other women during that time. Had a few more year or so long relationships up until 21, also living with a few of these women, Some younger most older. Id say im a good looking young lad Ive never had a problem picking up beautiful white women. My first trip to thailand consisted of picking up hot scandinavian or Australian women, didnt go near one Thai girl. It wasnt until I came here with a group of older lads all over 40 that I discovered Thai women and I say it was a treat for the Thai women to have a younger man.

Anyway I certainly didnt come to Thailand to marry as ive spent the last 3 years being single at university and enjoying every minute of it. Also spending every long summer holiday in Thailand enjoying myself. No one in my family or friends can believe im married or have a kid coz Ive never been interested in having children or a serious relationship. I was normally getting stick of everyone for being such a scum bag to women. But i meet my wife and everything changed, you cant help the way you feel about someone and you could be dead tommorrow. Lifes to short. Plus whilst all my mates are back home in the uk in the shitty weather working trade jobs going out at the weekend and trying to pull over weight dogs with serious attitude problems, im living in a beautiful hot country working only a few hours aday and raising my son. On top of that saving a nice lump of money which i would never be able to save in the UK.

[britmaveric]

I think is wrong, When i was in Phuket with my gf and old bloke about 60 years old tried to pick up me gf, My gf started to tell him off, like asif he would have a chance with her.

If I have a daughter and when she reaches 20, if a old bloke tries to pick her up there will be hel_l to pay.

Its worng, its as simple as that

Unfortunately you won't have much say over it mate - she's an adult and your a bystander at that stage.

[lannarebirth]

You'll never appreciate the benefits of an Asian woman unless you've been around the block a few times with a white chick. What's a young guy like you doing coming to Thailand to marry?

Regarding looks, I'd have to disagree, I find Asian women look fine up until about 25/30, and then go down hill real fast....but if we're buying them, as most of the posters here like to point out, it's easy to trade one in on a newer model....especially as I don't believe in marriage. Business is business right?

Bring on the flames!

Mate im 24 and Ive had girlfriends for as long as I can remember. I was with the same girl from 14 to 18, being young had several other women during that time. Had a few more year or so long relationships up until 21, also living with a few of these women, Some younger most older. Id say im a good looking young lad Ive never had a problem picking up beautiful white women. My first trip to thailand consisted of picking up hot scandinavian or Australian women, didnt go near one Thai girl. It wasnt until I came here with a group of older lads all over 40 that I discovered Thai women and I say it was a treat for the Thai women to have a younger man.

Anyway I certainly didnt come to Thailand to marry as ive spent the last 3 years being single at university and enjoying every minute of it. Also spending every long summer holiday in Thailand enjoying myself. No one in my family or friends can believe im married or have a kid coz Ive never been interested in having children or a serious relationship. I was normally getting stick of everyone for being such a scum bag to women. But i meet my wife and everything changed, you cant help the way you feel about someone and you could be dead tommorrow. Lifes to short. Plus whilst all my mates are back home in the uk in the shitty weather working trade jobs going out at the weekend and trying to pull over weight dogs with serious attitude problems, im living in a beautiful hot country working only a few hours aday and raising my son. On top of that saving a nice lump of money which i would never be able to save in the UK.

Well Jared, that sounds about as good of a life as a person could possibly have. I wish you many many more years of the same.

[a2396]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2006-12-15 12:33:36)

QUOTE

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing from a legal standpoint, however, your moral judgement seems to be lacking. I pity the teenager you are stealing a childhood from.

I have to agree with VanDam here.

I've known older guys(in the 30/40s) marry girls in their teens. Disaster for the girl in every one.

A 19 year old Thai girl is like a 14 year old in my country.

There are a few Thai guys with their 'mia dek' but that doesn't make it right. Good song - 'mia dek' by pongsak Songsaen, but if yo listen to the words it's pretty sick.

It's not right for me to judge the 50 year old farang with the 18 year old Thai girl, but I can't help wanting to vomit at the sight. The guy is not looking for a relationship - he's a pervert. On the other hand I've know 70 year olds with 40 year olds and that's fine. A 40 year old Thai woman is like a 60 year old in my country.

Childhood is precious - leave the kids alone!

On the other hand, maybe its better that she have only one "customer" , than having to have many different ones to support herself and her familly.

If she's a prostitute then it's different. It a business transaction - he's a perverted whoremonger.

What "Bible Pounding" church do you represent?? Sure looks like there are a lot of whoremongers in Thailand, both Thai and Farang, ie in the company of prostitutes and other "play for pay" ladies. By the way, if one pays dowery for marriage, ie sex, is that considered paying for sex?? The whoremonger list just gets longer & longer.

[john1000]

I visited Thailand for the first time in Agust, and spent one week in BKK and two in Udon. My pals who visit on a frequent basis fixed me up with a Thai student 23, ( I am 53 )

Thought a couple of dates would be nice, but now she keeps emailing about marriage and stuff, also moved into my hotel unanounced.

Point is: Money, money, money is the sole reason she does this as especially after visiting her village AND BEING SHOWN ALL THE THINGS LACKING THERE.

I am not gullable like alot of ex pats on this forum, and really, they should see this place for what it is.

Having said this, I am just divorced so will visit again... and again and again but with full knowledge as to WHY these young girls seemingly want my company.

DON'T FOOL YOURSELVES!!!

[britmaveric]

Some women are in it for financial reasons, and some actually love who they are with. Not a hard concept to the Cynics.

[john1000]

Some women are in it for financial reasons, and some actually love who they are with. Not a hard concept to the Cynics.

Possibly one in a hundred and that's being generous. Love is different in Thailand as is based on security 99 per cent.

In the west love is based on feelings, and compatibility accompanied with the rose tinted specs we have been led to believe.

Not sure which one is right, but at least in LOS you should know where you stand. But if money runs out..........

[ourmanflint]

my god there is a lot of ageist bs coming out from a lot of people I had some admiration for, now I have already stated that I personally have my own limits as to who I will date because of their age, but that is my own view. I still believe there are always exceptions, there maybe some incredibly happy wide age gap relationships, and who are we to deny them. Callling people names such as paedophile when they are dating a mature woman, yes women mature earlier than men, try telling a nineteen year old she is too immature to choose for herself who she can date and who she cannot, is really just pathetic and shows you for the kind of shallow reactionary bigoted people you really are.

There are no rules less the laws we create to govern such things, love and its facsimiles are not to be routinely controlled by bleating lambs. Freedom of choice is something that must be respected wether you like it or not, you have no right to castigate someone for simply doing what they feel. And yes maybe one day if you have daughters something similar may happen to one of yours, we are all living longer andf healthier lives, this kind of thing is in no way on the decline, get used to it.

Vanzam... from my lofty position I can look down on on pseudo scientists such as yourself and see you for what you are, and don't worry I'm not an English teacher.

[Jared]

John1000, So youve spent a whole 3 weeks in Thailand and that makes you an expert on Thai Falang relationships, Maybe you should read the whole of the thread before you start coming out with that crap old man. Not all relationships are like that, what about the younger couples like myself or the several females i know who are married to thai men.

Edited December 15, 2006 by Jared

[Fun2Fun]

Freedom of choice is something that must be respected wether you like it or not, you have no right to castigate someone for simply doing what they feel.

In most of these cases the younger part does not really have freedom of choice , they more or less have to choose the lesser of evils.

Edited December 15, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[ourmanflint]

Freedom of choice is something that must be respected wether you like it or not, you have no right to castigate someone for simply doing what they feel.

In most of these cases the younger part does not really have freedom of choice , they more or less have to choose the lesser of evils.

nonsense, if a thai girl has anything here, she has choice! There are not only 50- 60 year old men here, there are plenty of others, so for whatever reason it is a choice, her choice not yours or mine.